Fear
The final obstacle between the creative soul and our personality is known as “fear of death” (abhinivesa). This may sound at the same time highly common, as most folks don’t want to die, and extreme, as we are not continually fearing death in everyday life. Think of it this way: when we resist change in life, we often have a list of rationalizations why. The yogis might suggest we could find a fear of death at the bottom of every rationale, whether moving on from a job, ceasing smoking, or starting a new routine. It is not that we are afraid such changes will literally kill us; rather, when we embark upon anything new, we face the unknown, just as death is an unknown. Furthermore, the familiar will die. These are frightening prospects, indeed. This chapter provides yoga philosophy and yoga therapy practices to help you transcend fear.
Exercise: Facing & Moving Beyond Fear
A common way to move beyond fear is to face it. If you are caught in a nightmare of being chased, you master the dream when you stop running and look at what is bearing down on you. This exercise gives you the chance to look at your nightmare scenarios and realize you can face them. Note that steps 3 and 4 can be powerful and you may wish to set them aside if you are in a psychologically difficult place. As always, trust and care for yourself; seek the support of your loved ones and professionals whenever needed.
Step 1: Take a few deep breaths or perform a quick mindfulness scan of your body, breath, thoughts, and feelings. Next, complete the following sentence by listing as many ideas as you can in one minute. It’s okay to repeat yourself and be completely irrational. It’s also okay to write down your genuine, deepest fears: If I indulged in more creativity, terrible things could happen, such as _______________________.
Step 2: Breathe deeply or perform a mindfulness check-in. Complete the following sentence using images in crayon. You may scribble or endeavor to draw pictures that represent the answers arising from within you. Being creative is risky because _________________________.
Step 3: Clear yourself again with breath or mindfulness. Complete the following sentence by responding in nonverbal vocalizations and gibberish: If I live a creative life, I am sure to _________________________. Make an expressive list of what could happen, using only nonsense sounds and whatever gestures and movements are relevant to that speech.
Step 4: Pause and notice the sensations that linger within you after that gibberish expression. These kinds of vocalizations often unleash a wealth of emotional energy. With whatever music you wish, or none at all, dance out the feelings that gibberish brought up. For deeper impact, continue expressing yourself vocally as you move.
Step 5: Be kind with yourself. Nonverbal and bodily practices can be very intense. Care for yourself now by reclining and nourishing your senses: indulge in a bubble bath, diffuse essential oils, stream songs featuring your favorite instrument.
This exercise gave you the opportunity to knock some of your fears loose. Now that you are facing them, your courage will rise up in equal measure! The following yoga posture sequence can help you embody the resilience, vigor, and hopefulness required to act in the face of fear.
Exercise: Yoga Posture Practice: Intentional Poses for Courage
Ensure you are sufficiently warmed up and prepared for strength and movement before beginning the following sequence. Throughout the yoga poses, hold the intention to face and smash through your fears. Different people require different qualities to make this happen for themselves. Apply focus to the intention that fits you best right now.
Step 1: Child’s Pose (Balasana)—Bring yourself to the mat on your hands and knees position. Settle your seat toward your heels, with the top of the feet on the ground. Lean forward over your thighs to rest your forehead either in your palms, on stacked fists, or to the mat. If your forehead is on the ground, you can reach your arms on the floor overhead or alongside your torso and legs. You are curled up now. Knees may be together or apart. Allow mental busyness to drain out your forehead into the earth. Feel yourself curved as a fetus in a loving womb: totally warm, safe, and wanted. The root of courage is self-worth and personal standards. People are so glad you exist. You are a perfect creation. Bask in this for as long as you wish.
Step 2: Cobra Pose (Bhujangasana)—Lie down on your abdomen. Place your palms beneath your shoulders. If back comfort allows, bring feet and legs together so your body represents a sleek tube. (Imagine the same tube if your legs and feet are hip-width apart.) As you inhale, imagine a glorious king cobra: calm, focused, mesmerizing. The next time you breathe in, roll up your face and chest like a powerful cobra rising. Do not rely on your hands to push you and keep your snake belly on the ground. Lift your blazing eyes, lengthen the front and back of your neck, and be strong through the length of your body. As you gaze intensely forward, imagine your creative Self down a path in front of you. See this expressive, contented version of yourself in the act of creation. Notice the obstacles that stand between you and this version of yourself. They may appear as rocks, metaphorical symbols, or the literal things interfering with your creative journey. Trust what appears, then stare it down with your fiery snake eyes. Hiss. Ssss! Hiss again, louder. HSSSSSS! As your tongue presses upward, feel your breath energy fill you, circulate through your body as it gathers strength, then release as a sound wave that shatters barriers. HSSSSSSSSSS! You may unroll the chest and face back to the mat, then roll up again to hiss away the obstacles. After performing this fortitudinous posture a few times, rest on your belly and cheek and enjoy the sensation of your breath against the ground.
Step 3: Plank/Half-Plank—After resting, turn your toes under (to the ground) and place your hands beneath your shoulders. Feel your mightiness as you push the earth away, moving through a push-up action to come into a plank or, if your knees are down and you are shaped like a ramp, a half-plank. Experiment with placing the effort in different parts of your body. What happens if your shoulders hold the posture? What if the work were in the chest or the back? Can the gluteal muscles in your bottom help hold you? Is there a difference between putting the effort in the smaller places (hands, pelvic floor, lips) and the bigger ones (quadriceps, pectorals, abdominals)? Acknowledge that you are strong in many ways.
Step 4: Crescent Moon—From Plank Pose, stabilize your upper body and, if possible, step your right foot between your hands. You may have to grab your foot and put it there or slide your entire body backward to get the right knee above its ankle. Once the knee is over the ankle, apply some downward pressure into the right foot. Place the left (back) knee on the floor. Hands may climb the right leg, resting on the thigh, or bring the palms together in front of the chest or overhead. Experiment with the strength and mobility of your pelvic area as you shift more weight to the front (right) leg. Secure your abdominals and begin to arch back slightly by making distance between your pubic bone, rib cage, and chin. Create space through the front of your spine as you arch upward, free and open as a crescent moon in the vast night sky. Remember your fearless intention and feel it filling the tremendous space within and around you.
Step 5: Lunging Twist—Straighten your spine so you are no longer in a back bend, then twist to the openness of your left side. If hands are on the front thigh they can help stabilize; otherwise, arms reach upward. When you are ready, maintain your strong base and revolve the torso toward the right side. Stay long through the spine and connected to a sense of strength and courage. After you have spiraled more of your intention into your being, untwist to center yourself and slowly bring your palms to the floor. Transition through step 3 and repeat steps 4 and 5 with your left leg forward this time. Be aware of any asymmetries, whether physical, energetic, emotional, or intellectual. One side may feel quite different from the other and stimulate various thoughts, feelings, or images as you continue on this path to aligning with courage. All you need to do is be aware—from awareness, the impetus for change occurs.
Step 6: Once you have repeated the actions on the second side, return to step 3 again. How does that posture feel different each time you return there? Isn’t it incredible how quickly your body/energy/mind can change?
Step 7: Goddess Pose (Deviasana)—Find your way to standing up, facing the long edge of your mat, in a wide-legged stance. Yin energy is that of the feminine qualities, like a peaceful night: introspective, quiet, cool, receptive, fluid, creative. Apply these qualities to your intention of courage. You may imagine that resilient intention like a seed incubating in the earth or womb. Now sense that nurturing, protective space of the earth or womb in your own sacral area. Your feet can point straight ahead or on a forty-five–degree angle, right foot to right corner, left foot to left corner of mat. Begin to bend the knees out to the sides, doing your best to keep them in line with the ankles, not caving inward. Feel a sense of presence at the sacrum and the corresponding place in your low belly. Keep the torso upright, with a natural curve in your spine. Stretch your arms to the sides in line with the shoulders then bend the elbows so the wrists are above them, palms facing forward. Experience a sense of divine empowerment as you stand firmly rooted, holding a strong presence within yourself and all around. Continue connecting to your creative space and gestate your intention. You may straighten the legs and rest the arms along your sides as you return to standing, then lower back to Deviasana numerous times.
Step 8: Side bending postures are thought to encourage the fluidity of the sacral energy center. From Goddess Pose, play with side bending lightly each way. Hold the wide-legged, knees-bent position and right-angled arms. When you side bend, you may aim your elbows toward hips or knees, without needing to actually touch them. Be sure not to roll forward or backward; just bend a comfortable distance from side to side. Continue connecting to the sacral chakra and creating a vibrant intention to flow through your life.
Step 9: Center yourself and reach the arms overhead as you straighten your legs. Become long and tall. Then lower your arms, gaze forward, and keep your weight even between your right and left feet. Notice the effect of the intentional practice on your desire to move forward through fear and bravely connect to your creative essence.
Step 10: Create an expressive piece that conveys the after-effects. Post or revisit this piece as a means of keeping your intention vital and your courage strong. You can rely on these virtues when resistance and fear arise … most of the time.
The previous practice supports you in uniting your body, breath, thoughts, feelings, and creative Self. It is common to end an asana practice with relaxation. Although it isn’t necessary, you may choose to practice step 2 of the following exercise as part of the previous one to round out your posture sequence.
Relaxation: A Yoga Therapy Key
Relaxation is a common aspect of yoga practice. Your weekly class teacher has probably told you that Corpse Pose (Savasana) at the end of class is a time to let go of any clinging worries and bodily tensions. The peaceful space allows the mind and body to integrate the benefits of practice. If you suffer from stress or anxiety, you may know the value of just a few minutes of targeted relaxation practice. It resets the autonomic nervous system, alters brainwaves, and promotes the body’s healing resources.
These physiological effects have psychological counterparts. Our state of mind changes when we are relaxed. We are more receptive to new ideas and ripe for inspiration. We have more energy to proceed with what we envision and, because we are relaxed and content rather than pressured and fearful, we are more likely to realize the positive benefits of our creative process. Relaxation simultaneously helps us hold laser focus and keeps our minds wide open to flashes of brilliance.
The following exercise gives you a chance to play with the opposites that live within you.
Exercise: Side-by-Side Comparison of Nay-Sayer & Creative Self
In this exercise we will place a creative, relaxed state next to an uninspired, tense one. As you engage your mind in creating these diverse ways of being, discern what, specifically, is the difference between them.
Step 1: Hold a paper plate or a piece of construction paper to your face and gently mark where your eyes and mouth are. Hold the paper over a table, no longer near your face, and cut holes where you made the marks. Cut holes in the same place on a second “mask.” You can also use foam, clay, or purchase blank templates upon which to paint masks. We will get to these shortly.
Step 2: Rest comfortably. Be aware of your body settling, supported, and notice the deep, easy flow of your breath. Connect to the uplifted enthusiasm of your creative Self, like that feeling you get when a new idea strikes.
Step 3: After you have basked in that goodness for a few minutes, juxtapose that creative sense with the fears of your disconnected self. Notice what happens to your body, breath, and thoughts as you gather your doubts, resistances, and worst-case scenarios. What if the nay-sayers are correct?!
Step 4: Grab one of your mask templates and create the face of your uninspired self. You may use color, decorations, and facial expressions to denote that dry, bored, low-energy state.
Step 5: The second mask is to express your creative Self. It may be worth relaxing again and intentionally invoking that juicy freedom before creating its face. No nay-sayers live in this realm! Be as colorful, playful, and strange as you want.
Step 6: Set these masks beside one another and take some time to reflect. You may choose to create a third piece (in a different medium such as psychodrama, dueling string instruments, or a cartoon) that expresses the relationship between these two states. Keep the masks handy and use them to express resistance, accept relapse, or invoke inspiration as needed. You can wear one or the other of them to exaggerate, invoke, or exorcise interference.
In order to live into the vision of our creative Selves and become the person each of us uniquely is, we must transform our relationship with fear. Rather than allowing it to dictate our limits and choices, we can use it as a trigger for courage and possibility. Try the following exercise to promote courage every time your fear starts to get the better of you.
Fear not only limits our connection to the true, creative Self but it also narrows our lives and potential joy. Revisit this exercise any time you catch yourself avoiding, making excuses, or feeling genuinely nervous about something.
Step 1: Name your fear(s) or the action you are afraid of taking.
Step 2: Name ten good things that could come of you moving forward or taking action. I wanted to tell you to name twenty but was afraid you wouldn’t do it. Wait … Did I say “afraid”? Name twenty things that could go well from you taking this fearful action. Name them out loud. Louder!
Step 3: As you list these positive possibilities, notice the effect on your tone of voice, breath, thoughts, and embodiment. Can you feel the presence of courage filling you as you build faith through this process?
Step 4 (optional): If, when you set these benefits beside the costs/your fears, you still do not wish to take action, it is time to accept yourself and all involved, let it go, and move on. Nurturing a desire you do not wish to take action on is a waste of your resources and talents. If the issue arises again, repeat step 4 or consider the following step.
Step 5: Do that thing (or the next step toward that thing) that you are afraid of. It may still scare you a bit, but you are ready to do it anyway. Courage isn’t about not feeling fear, it’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.
You can see how the fear of death or change is a highly limiting obstacle on our creative path. If we focus on what could go wrong, or what we may lose, then we are meditating on obstacles to enlightenment, rather than enlightenment itself. When we focus on possibility instead—“What wonderful things could happen?” “What if your dreams came true?”—we are already more aligned with our inner truth and higher potential. This chapter gave you insight and tools to face and transcend your fears so that you can live into your possibility, truth, and higher potential. Through naming your fears, moving with intention, observing an internal stadium of relaxation versus fear, and cultivating courage, you are now ready to face your deepest fears and proceed on the path of alignment with your creative Self.
Now you have explored the five main obstacles between the everyday you and your creative soul: ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion, and fear of death or change. Revisit this section on the Path of Creativity anytime you are feeling deeply hindered in your self-expression or sense of inner connection. You will be amazed by how the chapters and exercises seem different each time, and yield different outcomes, because you yourself are different when you come back to them. May this book continue to support you in removing all that stands between you and the brilliant creator that you are.