We have a lot of tofu tricks up our sleeves to make it taste real good, and here’s a pretty damn good one, which has stuck around for more than seven years!
2–4 SERVINGS
1 block firm tofu, pressed and diced into ¾-inch cubes*
1 tablespoon sugar
2½ tablespoons light soy sauce
¼ cup minced lemongrass†
¾ teaspoon dried chili flakes
2 teaspoons finely chopped Thai chilies
1⅓ teaspoons ground turmeric
¾ teaspoon kosher salt
⅓ yellow or white onion, sliced
⅓ red bell pepper, medium diced
½ tablespoon minced garlic
1 pinch mushroom bouillon (optional)
Fried shallots, for garnish
Scallions, chopped, for garnish
Cilantro, coarsely chopped, for garnish
Julienned Persian cucumbers, for garnish
Mint chiffonade, for garnish
BALLS OUT
40–80 SERVINGS
24 blocks firm tofu, pressed and diced into ¾-inch cubes*
1½ cups sugar
3¾ cups light soy sauce
6 cups minced lemongrass†
6 tablespoons dried chili flakes
1 cup finely chopped Thai chilies
⅔ cup ground turmeric
6 tablespoons kosher salt
8 yellow or white onions, sliced
8 red bell peppers, medium diced
¾ cup minced garlic
1½ teaspoons mushroom bouillon (optional)
1. See the Crispy Tofu Ball recipe for the best way to press tofu for you. Unlike that recipe, which requires you to press tofu overnight, for this recipe, you have to press it for only 3–4 hours. Oh, and it most certainly doesn’t need to be pressed as firmly, either. A light press is all that’s needed to purge the surface of moisture so the tofu successfully takes in the marinade and flavor.
2. In a pot over low heat, dissolve sugar in soy sauce. Once fully dissolved, remove from heat and let it cool.
3. Combine cooled soy sauce with lemongrass, chili flakes, Thai chilies, turmeric, and salt in a bowl. Mix well.
4. Next, combine marinade with tofu in bowl for 1 hour. To get the most flavor, make sure tofu is completely covered.
5. When you’re ready to eat, sauté onions in a wok/pan over medium-high heat with a little bit of oil. Toss in peppers and sauté for 1 minute before adding garlic, followed by marinated tofu. Toss and sauté those delightful cubes until they’re evenly browned on most sides. Add a pinch of mushroom bouillon and Ginger Sesame Sake Sauce to taste.
Plate and garnish with shallots, scallions, cilantro, cucumbers, mint, and Pickled Red Onions. Serve with your favorite starch. Stuff your face, and eat more tofu!
She gave me more perspective on the world in a short conversation than I ever expected and sent me away with inspiration.
—THE THAI PROSTITUTE WHO INTRODUCED ME TO PANDAN/KAYA
* Get a 19-ounce block, but if you can only get those fancy 12-ounce blocks, all ya gotta do is multiply all these measurements by 0.631578947—ya know, no big whoop 
† Fresh lemongrass is always better than frozen, but it’s a bitch to mince, and thawed-out frozen lemongrass will do the trick.