Introduction
1 National Opinion Research Council, General Social Survey: Trends in Psychological Well-Being, 1972–2014 (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 2015).
2 Robert Johansson, et al., “Internet-Based Affect-Focused Psychodynamic Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder: A Randomized Controlled Trial With 2-Year Follow-Up,” Psychotherapy, Vol. 54, No. 4 (2017): 351–60.
3 John M. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, (New York, NY: Harmony Books, 2015).
4 Paul Gilbert, The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life’s Challenges, (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2009).
5 Christopher K. Germer, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions, (New York, NY: Guilford Press, 2009).
6 Diana Fosha, The Transforming Power of Affect, (New York, NY: Basic Books, 2000).
Chapter One
1 John Bowlby, Attachment: Attachment and Loss, Volume One (New York, NY: Basic Books, 1969).
2 M.A. Bracket, et al., “Emotional intelligence: Implications for personal, social, academic, and workplace success,” Social and Personality Psychology Compass, Vol. 5, No. 1 (2011): 88–103.
3 Adapted from Donald O. Hebb, The Organization of Behavior (New York, NY: John Wiley and Sons, Inc., 1949).
4 John Bowlby, Loss: Sadness, and Depression, Volume 3 (New York, NY: Basic Books, 1980).
5 Joseph LeDoux, Anxious: Using the Brain to Understand and Treat Fear and Anxiety (New York, NY: Penguin Books, 2015).
Chapter Two
1 K. A. Brennan, C. L. Clark, and P. R Shaver, “Self-Report Measurement of Adult Romantic Attachment: An Integrative Overview,” in Attachment Theory and Close Relationships, eds. J. A. Simpson and W. S. Rholes (New York, NY: Guilford Press, 1998), 46–76.
2 Louis Cozolino, The Neuroscience of Human Relationships (New York, NY: W.W. Norton and Company, 2014).
3 Diana Fosha, The Transforming Power of Affect (New York, NY: The Perseus Book Group, 2000).
4 Daniel J. Siegel, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation (New York, NY: Bantam, 2010).
Chapter Three
1 Leigh McCullough, Changing Character: Short Term Anxiety-Regulating Psychotherapy (New York, NY: Basic Books, 1997).
2 Ronald J. Frederick, Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want, (San Francisco, CA: Jossey Bass, 2009).
3 Daphne M. Davis and Jeffrey A. Hayes, “What Are the Benefits of Mindfulness? A Practice Review of Psychotherapy-Related Research,” Psychotherapy, Vol. 48, No. 2 (2012).
4 Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life, (New York, NY: Hyperion, 1994).
5 Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Rebecca Gladding, MD, You Are Not Your Brain: The 4-Step Solution for Changing Bad Habits, Ending Unhealthy Thinking, and Taking Control of Your Life (New York, NY: Avery Publishing, 2012).
6 Rick Hanson, Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2009).
7 Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, (New York, NY: Harper Collins, 2011).
19 Paul Gilbert, PhD., “The Practice of Learning and Change.” Speech at Mindfulness and Compassion: The Art and Science of Contemplative Practice Conference. (Berkeley, CA: University of California Greater Good Science Center, 2015).
9 Matthew D. Lieberman, Naomi I. Eisenberger, Molly J. Crockett, et al, “Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli,” Psychological Science, Vol. 18, No. 5 (2007): 421–28.
10 If you’d like to learn more about the Triangle and our emotional dynamics, I invite you to check out my first book, Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want.
11 Diana Fosha, The Transforming Power of Affect (New York, NY: The Perseus Book Group, 2000).
12 Siegel, Mindsight.
13 Neff, Self-Compassion.
1 “Stop and Drop” is a phrase I learned from my colleague SueAnne Piliero, PhD, to which I added “stay.”
2 Daniel J. Siegel, The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (New York, NY: Guilford Press. 1999).
3 Pema Chödrön, Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears (Boulder, CO: Shambhala, 2009).
4 Daniel Goleman and Richard J. Davidson, Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, And Body, (New York, NY: Penguin Books 2017).
5 Joseph LeDoux, Anxious: Using the Brain to Understand and Treat Fear and Anxiety (New York, NY: Penguin Books 2016).
6 Richard Brown, MD and Patricia Gerbarg, MD, The Healing Power of the Breath: Simple Techniques to Reduce Stress and Anxiety, Enhance Concentration, and Balance Your Emotions, (Boulder, CO: Shambhala, 2012).
7 Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, (New York, NY: Little, Brown, 2008).
8 Richard Schwartz, You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For: Bringing Courageous Love to Intimate Relationships, (Oak Park, IL: Trailheads Publications, 2008).
9 Giacomo Rizzolatti and Corrado Sinigaglia, Mirrors in the Brain: How Our Minds Share Actions, Emotions, and Experience (Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 2008).
Chapter Five
1 Diana Fosha, “Emotion and Recognition at Work: Energy, Vitality, Pleasure, Truth, Desire, and the Emergent Phenomenology of Transformational Experience,” in The Healing Power of Emotion: Affective Neuroscience, Development and Clinical Practice, eds., Diana Fosha, PhD., Daniel J. Siegel, MD, and Marion Solomon, PhD (New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Company, 2009).
2 Diana Fosha, “Emotion, True Self, True Other, Core State: Toward a Clinical Theory of Affective Change Process,” Psychoanalytic Review. Vol. 92, No. 4 (2005): 513–52.
3 Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson, Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness (New York, NY: Harmony Books, 2018).
4 Fosha, The Healing Power of Emotion.
5 Ibid.
6 Mark Epstein, The Trauma of Everyday Life, (New York, NY: Penguin Books, 2013).
7 James W. Pennebaker and Joshua M. Smyth. Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain (New York, NY: Guilford Press, 2016).
8 Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, (New York, NY: Bantam Books, 1995).
9 Adapted from Sarah Thompson, Focus on Emotions, SA-exchange. February 9, 2017. https://sa-exchange.ca/ryersonsa-has-the-feels-201-part-1/.
10 Sue Johnson, Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, (New York, NY: Little, Brown, 2013).
11 Eugene T. Gendlin, Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapy: A Manual of the Experiential Method (New York, NY: Guilford Press, 1996).
12 Diana Fosha, “Emotion, True Self, True Other, Core State: Toward a Clinical Theory of Affective Change Process,” Psychoanalytic Review. Vol. 92, No. 4 (2005): 513–52.
13 Steven C. Hayes, Kirk D. Strosahl, and Kelly G. Wilson, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Second Edition: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change, (New York, NY: Guilford Press, 2016).
14 Adapted, in part, from Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living, (Boston, MA: Shambhala/Trumpeter Books, 2008).
Chapter Six
1 Sharon Salzberg, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection, (New York, NY: Flatiron Books, 2017).
2 Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, (New York: NY, Avery, 2015).
3 Linda Graham, Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being, (Novato, CA: New World Library, 2013).
4 John M. Gottman, and Nan Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, (New York, NY: Harmony Books, 2015).
5 Daniel Goleman, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2013).
6 Emily Esfahani Smith, “Masters of Love,” Atlantic, June 12, 2014.
7 Pascal Vrticka, Frédéric Andersson, Didier Grandjean, David Sander, Patrik Vuilleumier, “Individual attachment style modulates human amygdala and striatum activation during social appraisal,” (PLoS ONE 3(8): e2868, https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0002868, 2008).
8 Shunryu Suzuki and David Chadwick, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind: Informal Talks on Zen Meditation and Practice, (Boston, MA: Shambhala Publications, 2011).
9 Daniel J. Siegel, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, (New York, NY: Bantam Books, 2010).
10 Louis Cozolino, Why Therapy Works: Using Our Minds to Change Our Brains (New York, NY: W.W. Norton and Company, Inc., 2016).
11 Graham, Bouncing Back.
12 Daniel H. Lee and A.K. Anderson, “Reading What the Mind Thinks from How the Eye Sees,” Psychological Science, Vol. 28, No. 4 (2017): 494–503.
13 Susan Gillis Chapman, The Five Keys to Mindful Communication: Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts and Accomplish Your Goals, (Boston, MA: Shambhala Publications 2012).
14 Germer, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion..
15 Fosha, The Transforming Power of Affect.
16 Pat Ogden, PhD and Janina Fisher, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment, (New York, NY: W.W. Norton and Company, 2015).
17 Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, (Centre City, MN: Hazelden Publishing, 2010).