In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield and you will be able to extinguish the flaming arrows of evil.
— EPHESIANS 6:16
It had been a busy night shift for San Diego police officer Daryl Isaacson and his partner. They spent the chilly early-morning hours of January 17, 1998, responding to an unusually high number of calls: domestic violence incidents, complaints of narcotics trafficking, and several reports of gunfire. At three in the morning, another call came over the radio: reports of a prowler in an apartment building.
Since they were downtown, near the scene, the officers reached the duplex in the North Park neighborhood very quickly. The officers split up, with Officer Isaacson heading toward the back while his partner went to cover the front. Isaacson illuminated the rear yard with his flashlight and saw what he expected — nothing. He was sure that this call would involve little more than a quick clearing of the backyard and then reassuring the resident.
Then Isaacson saw that the back door to the lower apartment was slightly open and a light was on in the kitchen. Coming closer, he noticed fresh damage to the doorframe; it appeared the door had been kicked in. Isaacson crept to the doorway and peeked inside. That’s when he saw two males running away from him — through the kitchen area toward the front door of the apartment.
He entered the apartment and raced after the fleeing figures. Nearing the doorway leading to the living room, he hoped that the two suspects had gotten as far as the front door, where his partner would have intercepted them. However, the suspects had found their escape route blocked by a key-locked dead-bolted front door. While one suspect tore desperately at the blinds of the living room window, the other doubled back and headed toward the kitchen. This young man, Isaacson would later learn, was a seventeen-year-old gang member who had committed a series of violent assaults in recent weeks, including an attempted carjacking in which the victim was shot twice in the gut. The gun used in that shooting had also been used in a murder.
Isaacson had entered the hallway at a dead run, intent on helping his partner in the front. Suddenly, only six feet away and closing in fast, Isaacson confronted an armed suspect who had no intention of going back to jail. The suspect aimed a .45 directly toward Isaacson at chest level, with a round chambered and the hammer locked back. The veteran officer reacted immediately. Less than three feet away from the suspect, Isaacson raised his handgun and fired four shots in rapid succession. The first bullet hit the suspect in the chest and went through his heart. The second entered the right side of the suspect’s face before stopping in his brain. Isaacson then trained his gun on the second suspect, who immediately surrendered.
This wasn’t Isaacson’s first shooting. In an earlier incident, he and a fellow officer had fired a total of eight shots at a knife-wielding suspect who was still able to advance on them despite having sustained multiple fatal hits. Nor would it be his last. Over the course of his career he would be involved in seven shootings, five of them fatal. Still, this one was different, for Isaacson had come face-to-face with his would-be murderer. He had never before come nearly so close to being shot. This latest shooting bothered him more than any other incident in his career. Isaacson’s regimen of physical workouts and officer-survival training helped save his life, but his spirit needed to find peace.
Isaacson had never wanted to be forced to take a human life, but he knew that failure to do so could result in the loss of innocent lives, including his own. Even so, intellectualizing the realities of the job did not keep his nightmares at bay, especially this time. For a full year after this shooting, Isaacson was plagued with some of the worst dreams he’d ever experienced, nightmares that still occasionally recur. To this day, the image of the young suspect’s face is clearly visible when he closes his eyes. Isaacson explains, however, that he knows his action was the right one to take. A new understanding of one of the Ten Commandments helped Isaacson come to peace with taking a life:
“There have been some officers who felt extremely bad and suffered immeasurably at having taken a life. They felt, no matter how legally justified the shooting may have been, that they had violated some universal moral law. But often their beliefs are based on an old translation of one of the commandments in the Bible: ‘Thou shall not kill.’ The most recent and more credible translations say, ‘Thou shall not murder.’ Killing in the line of duty to save a life is not murder.”
While Officer Isaacson owes a debt to family, peers, and friends for his mental health, he cites his faith and a pilgrimage that he made to Israel during the year following the shooting as the biggest factors in his ability to cope with this traumatic incident. He strongly believes that an active faith offers one of the biggest coping mechanisms available to first responders.
Today Isaacson is one of twenty peer-support members for the San Diego Police Department. In addition to offering support to loved ones of officer suicides and those killed in the line of duty, he is frequently called upon to respond to critical incidents such as officer-involved shootings. When speaking with officers who were forced to kill in the line of duty, Isaacson asserts, his explanation of the translation of the biblical commandment has given great comfort to many of the officers that he has counseled.
Any faith or spiritual practice has tremendous power to positively affect the soul of an emergency first responder, since the motivation for public service comes from the spirit; there is an inherent spirituality in service and protecting life. Faith in spirit as the Creator of life, one that is the essence of all life, can significantly help define meaning and purpose in life and in an individual’s profession. An active faith can help you understand the evil and suffering you are called upon to deal with, and will help you maintain a positive perspective in life. Any faith is a strong counterbalance and provides coping mechanisms to positively process emotional and spiritual trauma. It is a shield for your spirit.
Faith in service is not a particular doctrine but is simply a relationship with the Creator, in whatever form a person comes to understand the Creator. If you are a person of any faith, nurture it and use it for your own well-being. A faith practice is personal; it means different things to different people. What is important is your own personal spiritual belief and way of life that connects you in any way to your God, and how you use that belief to sustain the strength and well-being of your mind, emotions, and spirit. By protecting and giving life to others, emergency first responders work in partnership with Divine Providence. The work of a first responder is a sacred duty. The Creator of life uses those who dedicate their lives to protect and sustain life.
Any active relationship with the Creator provides an invaluable resource to help you withstand the constant assaults upon your spirit. It empowers a person to positively process emotional trauma. It offers guideposts for the spirit to help you understand suffering while constructively working proactively toward finding peace. An active faith helps you persevere, find contentment, and see purpose in your work.
The essence of faith is an awareness of and reverence for a Creator who sustains and gives us life. It starts with a belief that our spirit is our true self and that our spirit is a reflection of God. Our spirit influences every aspect of life, how we perceive life, and the quality of our personal and professional lives. Our spirit is what makes us human. Our spirit and heart are what connect us with others and to God and provide the foundation for a life of service. The most valuable things in life cannot be seen or touched but are felt with the heart and spirit deep within us.
The mystery of faith is that it comes to everyone differently. There is a universal quest among people to discover a deeper meaning and purpose to life. Once a person realizes that purpose can be found through the spirit’s experience with the Creator, that person perceives life differently. This experience can provide much-needed comfort, peace, and understanding.
Once someone’s spirit becomes aware of the influence and presence of God, he or she begins to realize the profound power of faith. Faith has the power to transform, heal, and perfect any condition or attitude in life and to allow our conscious awareness to rise above any problem. This allows us to deal with the problem in a more positive, constructive manner. But in order to improve outer circumstances, we must first be changed from within.
For faith to be useful, it must be practiced and cultivated. In order to develop their faith, individuals must be proactive in living it and intent on their quest to discover God’s influence. An active, useful faith is a way of life, an active partnership with the Creator. It is far more than mere belief: it’s a way of living more courageously, purposefully, and spiritually in every moment.
An active relationship with God provides motivation, inspiration, and effective practices that enable you to remain dedicated without becoming a victim of your work. Inherent in such a relationship is an endless search, a journey within to discover what God means to you and how you can use the power and unlimited influence of God to improve yourself, to learn, heal, and experience peace. The more conscious effort you invest in discovering God and spiritual purpose in life, the more alive, well, and protected your spirit will feel.
Faith is a recognition that everything good in our lives comes from God. We practice faith by searching for God, the good in others, and the good in the events we experience. We practice faith by trying to know God more intimately in our daily affairs. Faith becomes useful when we use it to help with problems, to help find peace with the past, to help prepare for what lies ahead, and to lift and heal our spirits.
Through the practice of faith, our service to God and others becomes a part of who we are. Faith in service breathes life into a person’s soul. Any faith helps the spirit to heal after suffering loss or emotional trauma. Faith and trust in Divine Providence helps us to prepare so that we do not become crippled by a traumatic experience or acute stress over time. It is an invaluable resource to turn to that can inspire and uplift our spirits to overcome what is hurting them. Faith’s usefulness is a tool to positively change things; with it we are not simply victims of uncontrollable circumstances. We certainly can control our efforts and the quality of our search for God’s influence and healing power.
As a police officer, I was trained to search for and interpret evidence. Evidence proves what did or didn’t happen, as well as what is and what is not real. Just because we cannot see God does not mean that the Divine does not exist. We also cannot see love or hope, but no one denies that either is real and powerful. Though love and hope are unseen, humans experience their effects everywhere, deep within us.
The powerful influence and effects of God as a force for good are similarly everywhere. We see them in the evolution and progress of humanity over the centuries. They are apparent in the countless millions of lives all over the world in various cultures that have been transformed for the better. God’s influence can be seen in something as simple and as common as the loving touch of a mother caressing her child, in the look of a wife’s eyes as her husband comes in the door at night, and in the face of a child who runs up to her father, asking, “What are we going to do today, Daddy?”
God’s influence is evident in the countless acts of compassion for and kindness to others, and in the sacrifices people make for the good of others. It is experienced in the healing and transformative power of love. God’s presence is seen in the immensity and mystery of the universe; it is felt in the solemn peace of being alone in nature, in the undying devotion of an animal companion, and in the bond between loving friends.
The evolution of human life has been an evolution of spirit. Life a thousand years ago was unimaginably more violent and cruel than anything we witness today. Good has always eventually triumphed over evil. People’s innate nature is to love and to do good. That is the influence of God.
There is, however, another influence: evil. Humankind has been given free choice to choose to do good or evil. Though evil is not nearly as powerful as the Creator, it can influence people to do violent, horrific things. My faith has been shaken at times when I’ve seen the suffering caused by those who perpetuate evil. Just when I think I’ve seen the worst people can do to each other, I come to work and find another senseless, violent case with the potential to poison my soul.
A large and devoted force of emergency first responders who collectively work to combat evil’s effects is one of the few things preventing evil from overpowering humanity. In the epic struggle between good and evil within the soul of humankind, emergency first responders represent all that is good. The survival of our society and the continued progress of humankind are intrinsically linked to the noble work that emergency first responders do in partnership with God each and every day.
There are several basic, practical concepts of faith that can form the foundation of any particular faith practice. These are the spiritual practices of thanksgiving (being grateful for all the good in life and not focusing on the bad), charity, compassion, forgiveness, right motivation (selflessness), integrity, love, and service. Part of a faith journey is discovering what these values mean to you and how you can use them constructively to improve your quality of life.
The basic, negative concepts to refrain from are envy, jealousy, unbridled ambition, selfish pride, revenge, overbearing ego, and anger. The usefulness of a person’s faith continues to expand the more that person practices the positive values while refraining from the negative ones.
An active, useful faith does not involve talking about it. Having faith means living as good a life as we can, always trying to improve while striving to lead a moral life that benefits others. In every situation — our conversations, responding to someone’s call for help, or any other circumstance — a person demonstrates faith in service through actions of compassion, empathy, and helpfulness. Faith is seeing God alive in people, relating to the presence of God in those people, and treating them accordingly.
The Creator is always here with us. Faith and God’s influence are always available to anyone through any spiritual journey they may be on. But we must make the effort to tap into God’s influence and use it to protect, sustain, and heal the spirit. Electricity is useless until a plug is used to access it. Faith works in very much the same way: the search and reverence for God is the cord we use to access God’s living presence within.
As we learn to connect with God in our own ways, our spirits become stronger. Through giving ourselves over to the influence of God, we are better able to sustain a healthy and positive outlook on life and at work. But we must make ourselves available to receive all the potential benefits of an active and useful faith practice. In doing so, we are helped and guided all along the journey.
Some people who have not experienced faith believe it is a sign of weakness. Yet it is a sign of great courage to willingly pursue the mystery of faith and a relationship with the Creator while not knowing where it will lead. Our national motto is “In God We Trust.” Living with trust and in partnership with a Creator unites us with a universal recognition of a power greater than ourselves — and with a divine purpose. The founders of our nation recognized the need to rely on God and his governance over human affairs.
It is wise and strong to take advantage of an unlimited reservoir of power and influence that has significantly helped countless people all over the world. The right use of faith has been the greatest factor in helping people overcome unimaginable tragedies, grief, and suffering. It has been the greatest influence in civilizing humanity throughout history; and it is the single greatest influence that has enabled me to maintain a healthy, positive spirit while working in law enforcement for the past twenty-five years.
I know several officers who became isolated and felt others didn’t understand their world. They were then in danger of succumbing to the emotional and psychological trauma of the job. Emergency first responders can’t ignore that which gave them life and think that their spirits will not be adversely affected by the evil of others.
For an emergency first responder, it’s very difficult to deal with victims who have suffered. First responders are always in the middle of heartache. These heartaches, however, provide countless opportunities to offer hope, to console others, and to show them mercy. Sometimes all a first responder can do is listen, be compassionate, and find a few kind words that might offer hope.
It’s difficult seeing people suffer either from their own recklessness or from the violent acts of others. It’s hard not to suffer with them, so we do suffer with them. That’s how we tend to lose some of ourselves and become emotionally calloused. Apathy is very difficult to turn off. But with apathy, you begin to not feel things anymore; you don’t feel joy with your kids or feel close to your wife. It’s a natural hazard of the job, given what you experience every day. Faith in service is an invaluable resource that helps you navigate your world of emotional trauma. It provides the understanding that God does not do things to harm people; rather, people choose to do things to hurt themselves and others. The God who gave us life is there to heal, sustain, and help us through tragedies and suffering.
Faith does not provide the answers to everything, but we do not need to understand everything in order to constructively move forward in the most positive way we can. Bad things sometimes happen that are well beyond our control. But an active faith gives hope and provides a useful way of improving things, as opposed to feeling helpless.
Over the years I’ve had people come into the police department and thank me for arresting them. Because of an arrest, they were finally able to get off drugs, or the shock of being arrested gave them the impetus to turn their lives around. Those instances remind me why we are so needed. The first time that happened, I saw value in what I do for the Creator. Your work can provide the negative consequences of someone’s destructive or evil behavior, possibly becoming the catalyst that makes the person change.
Several years ago four men were traveling around the suburban San Diego area getting homeless men drunk and then having them fight each other for more beer. The result was a notorious and wildly popular set of videos known as Bumfights. The filmmakers made hundreds of thousands of dollars selling these videos. The homeless men were often badly injured in the fights, and some of them suffered broken bones and concussions.
Everyone in the police department knew what was going on, but no one thought it was a crime. I looked into the matter and searched for something we could use to arrest the filmmakers, since the homeless men were being cruelly victimized and seriously hurt, even hospitalized. It was one of the hardest investigations I ever worked on. Our victims were thoroughly intoxicated most of the time, and the filmmakers did everything they could to prevent us from finding and talking with the victims.
After researching the California Penal Code, I was able to find an obscure crime no one had ever heard of before: it was unlawful to instigate two people to fight other than in an authorized prizefight. Apparently this law was enacted in 1872 primarily to prevent underground boxing matches. Since multiple filmmakers were working together to instigate these fights, the alleged crime was a felony: conspiracy to conduct an unauthorized prizefight. After a four-month investigation, the filmmakers were arrested and charged. They were subsequently convicted.
Then a miracle occurred. One of the homeless men, Rufus Hannah, had been a chronic drunk since the age of twelve. He was in his late forties when Bumfights started. When the organizers were arrested and prosecuted, a citizen came forward and took this homeless man under his care. The homeless man has now been clean and sober for over ten years, and he lectures on college campuses about homelessness and alcoholism. He’s been to the state capital and talked with legislators, and he’s cowritten a book about his experience called A Bum Deal.
An experience like that renews my faith and hope in God. For over thirty years, this man was a chronic, homeless drunk that officers routinely picked up out of the gutter. Dismissed by so many as merely a useless alcoholic who contributed nothing, this man is now actually influencing many people for the good. We found him being victimized and did something about it — thanks to God’s influence, I believe. God not only used others to save this man’s life but is now using him to teach others in order to create additional positive change. No other power could have created such a radical and positive change in someone.
I’ve found that everyone’s faith is challenged sometimes; it’s normal. But then something will happen to reinforce it. God taps you on the shoulder by means of some experience, and you again feel connected with him. Our lives are a journey. Nothing is consistent; nothing stays always good or always bad. There are times when we might even doubt the existence of God. But he is there, in every moment, waiting for us.
The wonderful realization that we gain with faith is that we are not here alone. There is a tremendous force of good, of mercy, of hope and love. It is there for all of us, available to us when we think our lives can’t get any worse.
That is the power of faith.
I need that partnership, that connection with God, to do anything that is good and useful. I need to feel that nearness, that protection and love, that compassion. That’s how I can experience God through faith in service.
Being a police officer is not who I am, but what I do for God. I ask for help every day. I pray God will use me for a good purpose. I pray I will say the right words to help a victim or possibly change a life. I ask for protection and guidance. Faith in service is a constant recognition that God is there and that I am with him — and that together we work to protect and give life to others.
It’s like having a partner in the patrol car.
Below is a prayer I’ve written that can help any first responder connect with the life-sustaining essence and protection of our Creator.
PRAYER OF THE EMERGENCY FIRST RESPONDER
Living Spirit of all life, love, and compassion:
Guide me to best serve the needs of those who need me;
Lead me to go and be where I can be of most use and do the most good;
Help me to bring justice and peace to those who have suffered;
Enable me to protect and give life with mercy;
Sustain and protect my spirit, that I will be inspired with greater purpose;
Protect me from the evil of others;
Nurture and heal my soul, that I will not suffer from what I see;
Help me to live this day with selfless compassion, integrity, and honor;
Give me the inner strength to endure heartache, pain, and frustration;
Comfort my spirit so that whatever I may face this day, I will be at peace with you at my side.
Every person has faith, to some degree, in a belief or in something or someone. What is your faith? How is your faith working to enhance your life and well-being?
Faith is of no use unless you practice and use it to enhance your quality of life, increase your coping ability, and provide comfort, purpose, and peace. There is nothing about an active faith that could ever harm you. You have nothing to lose except doubt, hopelessness, and fear.
How can you develop faith and use it to build resiliency, offer hope, provide comfort, lead to understanding, and provide peace?
This question is best answered through practice. Practicing your faith, including it in the many different aspects of your life and profession, will inevitably lead to feelings of increased hope, peace, and power.