CHAPTER 5
GO WITH YOUR
GUT
You’ve heard it a million times: You are what you eat. ’Tis true, and my twist on this old saw takes it a step farther: You’re also what you don’t poop. If you’re haulin’ around garbage in your cells, tissues, or colon, you’re literally waste-ing your vibrant potential. Ideally, healthy real food goes in, contributes to the cause (you), and comes out in an effortless and timely fashion. Sadly, this isn’t the case for the majority of Americans.
Unhealthy food clogs all aspects of your God pod, screws up your immune system, stages a bacterial coup, and creates a biohazardous environment. Yet another reason why the alkaline, energy-packed foods on the Crazy Sexy Diet can help you heal. In this chapter you’ll learn the importance of your majestic root system—your digestion. Warning: We’re gonna talk shit. It’s time to stop being lady-like, start farting with pride, and examine what does and doesn’t come out of your ass. Your health depends on it.
A TOUR OF
YOUR DIGESTION
When I was a kid, I used to love to watch a show called The Love Boat with my grandma. We both adored cruise director Julie McCoy, and I dreamed of having a job like hers when I grew up. Grandma would join me and off we’d sail to Fantasy Island to dine with Mr. Roarke and Tattoo. Little did I know that the tour I’d be giving would be very different from a high-seas expedition. So indulge my childhood dreams, and allow me to be the Julie McCoy of digestion.
Digestion is the process of extracting nutrients from food and preparing the leftover waste for elimination from the body. It starts in your mouth and finishes, or so you hope, with a soft-serve plop in your royal commode. The whole system is basically one long twisting, turning tube of biochemical fun.
Your mouth is the first stop on the cruise. As you chew, enzymes in your saliva begin to break down your food. Next, the chunks of chow voyage to your tummy (après swallowing), where they churn and mix with hydrochloric acid and other gastric juices until all is transformed into a substance called chyme.
Once the food (chyme) leaves your tummy, it enters your small intestine, where additional enzymes and digestive juices break it down further. Your small intestine is also the sweet spot where the nutrients are absorbed into your body. Next stop, your large intestine, also known as your colon. What’s left after absorption is mostly fiber, undigested food bits, dead bacteria, digestive juices, and water. Your large intestine’s job is to reabsorb most of the remaining water and turn the leftover chyme into poop.
TAKE OUT
THE TRASH
Be honest, do you poop on a regular basis? Like after each meal or at least once per day? If you aren’t having abundant bowel movements on a daily basis, then you’re full of shit, lady. There may be days’, even weeks’ worth of debris just hanging out and backing you up. No matter how healthy our diets, if our inner sewer system is clogged, our bodies break down. Many of us have impacted and encrusted colons from years of eating excess meat, dairy, processed foods, breads, candies, cookies, bad oils, and other tasty (but toxic) treats.
Did you know that the average person might be hauling around between 7 and 10 extra pounds just in the colon? Gross! Medical autopsy lore has it that Elvis was carrying about 60 pounds of poo and fried peanut butter/banana sandwiches up his ass when he expired. While I doubt that’s true, extra pounds are possible, and here’s why. Your intestines are about 26 feet long. If you were to spread them out, their surface—including all the nooks, crannies and intestinal villi—would cover a tennis court. With that in mind, you can imagine countless hiding places for waste to get trapped.
Lining the walls of the small intestine are millions of tiny, finger-like protrusions called villi. They expand the total surface of the small intestine so that you can absorb more nutrients. When food passes over the villi, they draw in nutrients. But if they’re damaged, the nutrients just cruise on by.
If waste doesn’t move steadily through the colon, it stagnates, rots, and hardens, causing myriad problems, such as constipation, upset stomach and cramping, a weakened immune system, weight gain, and even depression.
It stands to reason, then, that if our inner sewer system is clogged, our bodies break down. Your immune system relies greatly on your intestines. In fact, 60 to 70 percent of your immune power is in your digestive tract, starting with lymphatic tissue in your tonsils and ending in your rectum. Like a warrior princess, your immune system kills off any bad germs and parasites that you lick up in your food.
You carry around literally trillions of bacteria in your intestines. Generally speaking, they’re friendly little guys who busily help you digest your food and even make some vitamins, like vitamin K. You also carry around plenty of not-so-friendly bacteria, such as one called Clostridium difficile that can even kill people with weakened immune systems. Usually the good guys crowd out the bad, but if the bad guys get enough of a foothold to multiply then they can cause real problems.
That’s the theory, anyway. In fact, lots of things can mess up your intestinal bacteria and the friendly bacteria you depend on for good health. Top of the list? Poor diet—especially too much sugar, too much animal protein, and too little fiber. Also on the list are drugs, especially antibiotics and alcohol.
Some doctors, nutritionists, and now advertisers suggest yogurt as a means of getting some extra good bacteria, also known as probiotics, into your system (I’ll explain a lot more about this in chapter 9). But given what we’ve learned about dairy products (and pasteurization), this advice is far from sound. Remember, milk creates mucus, and mucus creates inflammation, stagnation, and a whole lotta disorder in your gut. In addition, most yogurts are loaded with added sugar. Bad bacteria love to feed and multiply on sugar. And don’t be fooled into buying a vat of ice cream called yogurt. As you’ve learned, most health claims have been manufactured in boardrooms. What you’re really getting is a ton of empty calories, lots of fat, sugar, and mucus.
SHIT FOR BRAINS
Ever heard of the brain–gut connection? Dr. Michael Gershon, a researcher at Columbia University, calls the gut the “second brain.” The gut has its very own nervous system—the small intestine alone has as many neurons as your spinal cord. Neurotransmitters are natural chemicals that transmit signals from one part of your brain to another. Guess what? They’re also found in your intestines. In fact, a whopping 95 percent of all serotonin, one of the most important neurotransmitters, is made by nerve cells in your gut. And get this—the gut has at least seven different kinds of serotonin receptors. An imbalance in serotonin levels can be an underlying cause of depression. If one brain is out of balance, it stands to reason that the other one (the one you’re using to read this) might be out of balance, too. Many people with depression and anxiety also have bowel trouble. Maybe we need to pop less Prozac and pump out more poop.
THE SLIME
OF YOUR LIFE
Mucus. It sounds pretty disgusting, but this slippery goo serves a very necessary protective function in the body. Mucus membranes are located throughout your body, not just in the booger factory. In fact, humans produce about a liter of it a day. Mucus guards your stomach lining from hydrochloric acid, helps prevent infection in your cervix, and protects you from what your body senses as foreign invaders. A small amount of mucus in your intestines lubes the tubes in order to move waste through smoothly. However, a daily onslaught of bad eating habits creates excess mucus and problems like constipation. We all know what it’s like to have a congested, dripping nose. Well, imagine your nose is your colon (gross, I know, just go with it). Try pushing a poop through all the goo.
As you’ve already learned, mucus is also acidic. Too much of it lowers our pH and reduces our oxygen levels. Next step, inflammation, which does what? Creates more mucus! It becomes a vicious cycle of inner snot. Yuck. After years of poor dietary habits, antibiotics, drugs, and stimulants, many people are surprised at the endless amount of mucus that pours from their bodies. In The Mucusless Diet Healing System, Arnold Ehret writes, “All disease is a result of constitutional constipation. The entire human pipe system is chronically constipated through the wrong foods of civilization.”
In order to cleanse properly, you need a break from the bad food and toxins that go in your body, as well as help moving the old crud out. This is why I combine an optional one-day green juice fast and colon hydrotherapy as part of my 21-Day Cleanse (see chapter 10). During the detox process, even more trash than usual is dumped into the colon and bloodstream, so it’s extra important to keep moving the waste out. Once you’ve given your terrain a spring cleaning and upgraded your diet Crazy Sexy style, you’ll only need to cleanse occasionally. Until then, read on.
A daily onslaught of bad eating habits creates excess mucus and problems like constipation.
UNCLOG YOUR PIPES
WITH AN INNER PLUMBER
Imagine an old house that’s been locked up for decades, inhabited by reclusive socialite wackadoos like the Beales in Grey Gardens. When you start sweeping, you awaken a dust storm. If you don’t open the windows, the dirt just relocates. The same holds true for your God pod. One of the best ways to keep the dust from settling in your inner house is with an internal bath that moves the junk out the back door: an enema or colonic.
Lots of folks get squirmy or prudish at the mention of poop—especially when it also involves putting something up their butt. “That’s unnatural! Stuff goes out, you don’t stick it in!” Well, get over it. PowerBars are unnatural, cleansing is not. Colon cleansing is a healing method that has been used since the ancient Egyptians. Well into the 1900s, enemas were widely administered by community doctors. In fact, they have long been considered one of the best remedies for a headache! When your system stalls and sputters from the Standard American Diet, colon hydrotherapy may well be in order. It’s much more effective and gentle than harsh, habit-forming chemical laxatives such as Ex-Lax or even herbal laxatives containing senna. Laxatives also irritate and further weaken the colon and can cause dehydration. If you’re not evacuating on a regular basis or if you’re about to embark on a cleanse, you should definitely consider the power of the hose.
THE ABCS OF ENEMAS
Enemas help get the lower part of the colon, called the descending colon, moving and grooving. They are easy to administer at home and can provide much relief for those who suffer from constipation. Step one for using an enema: Make peace with the fact that you’re gonna put a helpful hose up your ass. Step two: Deck out your bathroom like a detox ashram. Just because said hose is up your ass doesn’t mean you have to be in an antiseptic environment. Surround yourself with style and beauty. I like to roll out my yoga mat and then place a big comfy towel on top. Turn down the lights, play some music, light a candle, and relax.
Most enema bags come in 1- or 2-quart sizes and require you to fasten the tube to the bag. No problemo—when filling the bag, make sure the clamp on the tube is in the closed position, otherwise the water will flood your ashram, not your ass. Fill the enema bag with lukewarm filtered or distilled water. (Chlorine in tap water kills the good flora in your colon.) Before inserting the tube in your tush, let a little water out of the enema into the sink—this removes air bubbles. Next, hang the enema bag on a towel rack or doorknob, making sure that the bag is higher than you (gravity rocks!). Lie on your left side with your right knee bent close to your chest, left leg straight. Lubricate the tube tip with a bit of coconut oil and then gently insert the tube into your rectum. Woo hoo! Ya don’t need to go far, Rambo—2 to 3 inches will do.
Release the clamp and let the water begin to fill you slowly. If you let too much water in too fast, you may get an urge to evacuate prematurely. For the best results, you’ll want to fill for a bit, then clamp off and relax, allowing the water to create a soaking cycle. When you feel ready, let more water in. If you’re feeling adventurous, roll slowly onto your back with your knees bent and begin to massage your belly, moving clockwise. This is best done during a soaking cycle.
Next, roll slowly onto your right side, allowing the water to hit other areas. Wild women may want to try the kneeling position. Wha? Place your head on the floor and kneel, as if creating a tripod. Just make sure your door is locked and your ass is facing the other direction!
Finish up by clamping off the tube and slowly removing the tip. Try to hold the water for fifteen to twenty minutes, and then let it all go into the toilet bowl. If you can’t hold it for that long, no worries—let it go when you’re ready. Feel free to do another round if you didn’t release much the first time. Sometimes gas is the main thing in the way; once that’s removed you’ll have a better round two. If you get bored, bring a book or a recorded inspirational lecture. Perhaps you’ll hold the water longer if you put your focus on Deepak Chopra. When you’re finished, empty the bag of any remaining water and send some hot water through to flush it. Wash with mild organic soap and water. To avoid passing germs around, here’s a party tip: Don’t share your enema bag with anyone—duh!
TIP
Bring an enema bag with you when you travel just in case you get stuffy.
GRASS UP YOUR ASS
Wheatgrass is just what it sounds like: the young shoots put up by sprouting wheat seeds. Wheatgrass is a powerful tonic for healing through both drinking (see chapter 6) and as a sidekick to your enema. One 4-ounce shot made at home or bought fresh from the juice bar is like hooking your immune system up to a set of jumper cables. An implant is a small amount of juice held in the lower bowel for about twenty minutes. In the case of illness, wheatgrass implants stimulate a rapid cleansing and healing of the lower bowel. Implants also help to draw out accumulated debris. This stimulates peristalsis and replenishes the electrolytes in your colon.
Colon hydrotherapy with a wheatgrass chaser is also a good deal for the big daddy of all organs—your liver. Once implanted, a portion of the juice is absorbed into the hepatic vein, which travels directly to the liver. The juice stimulates your liver to purge and gives it a great boost of the mighty healer chlorophyll (think oxygen).
Your liver is really the chief organ of elimination. Think of it as the body’s recycling center, constantly filtering and cleaning the blood. The liver also plays a vital role in digestion, assimilation, your immune system, and literally hundreds of other processes. It’s one busy dude! Once it gets clogged, so do you.
HIGH ON COLONICS
Colonics are even better than enemas (I know, you’re thinking nothing could be better than an enema!) because they can access the entire colon: ascending, transverse, and descending. A colonic machine uses very gentle water pressure to introduce the water deep into the colon. While an enema uses only about 1 quart of water, a colonic can use up to 6 gallons over the course of the treatment. As you can imagine, colonics are not DIY projects—you need a trained professional.
An average session with a colon therapist lasts from forty-five minutes to an hour. If you’re really backed up or if you have health issues that would benefit from deeper detoxification, you may have to do a series of treatments in the beginning. The number of treatments you’ll need really depends on the condition of your health and your colon—a good therapist will tell you where you stand.
If you’ve never had a colonic, the first time can be very intimidating. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. You won’t poop on the table or squirt water across the room. In fact, it’s all very sanitary and matter-of-fact. There are two types of colonics, gravity and pressurized. An expert hydrotherapist can do wonders with either method, but I recommend gravity colonics, since pressurized units can actually cause more impaction if you’re already really blocked up. Gravity units use only the force of gravity (like an enema, but bigger) to control water flow, so they’re gentler, especially for people with sensitive GI tracts or IBS. The therapist gently inserts the lubricated speculum into your rectum while you’re covered with a towel or sheet from the waist down. The water is slowly introduced—”Well, hello there, water”—then you fill and soak much as you do with an enema.
As you soak, a lovely belly rub is gently administered. A good therapist knows how to access pressure points on your calves, feet, and back that will help you expel poo materials. When you’re ready to release, the flow is reversed and the water and waste depart from the same tube. It’s a completely closed system, so that means there’s no muss, no fuss, and no odor. You can even see what’s headed to pasture through a little viewing window in the machine. Now, that’s cool! Some therapists are like mystical tea-leaf-reading psychics! One look at your poop and they’ve got you figured out. You’ll learn a lot about what is and what isn’t working with your digestion. More than likely you’ll witness lots of mucus, gas bubbles, bile, undigested food (“When did I eat corn?”), and maybe some parasites cruisin’ by. Sometimes it’s better than a trip to the zoo!
Folks who oppose colon therapy claim you can become dependent on it. This isn’t really a worry. Think of colon therapy like a workout: The gentle pressure from the water actually tones and rebuilds your muscles by making peristalsis—the contraction of smooth muscles that propels stuff through the digestive tract—stronger. Once the initial cleansing process is complete, colonics need only be used for maintenance and upkeep once per season or a couple of times a year.
Another criticism is that colon therapy washes away good bacteria. In fact, good bacteria can only breed in a clean environment. A probiotic (see chapter 9) can be taken after cleansing to help repopulate the colon with good bacteria. The colon will rebalance itself with a better ratio of friendly to unfriendly bacteria, especially when all the debris is cleared away.
The one real concern you should have about colon therapy is the cleanliness of the provider. Colon therapists don’t have to be licensed or certified—pretty much anyone can buy a machine and go into practice. To avoid unskilled or inexperienced practitioners or those who might be careless about sanitation, get a personal recommendation if possible. Ask around among the people in your community who are most likely to know: chiropractors, massage therapists, naturopaths, nutritionists. Ask for and check references! My resource section on crazysexylife.com also lists several national databases.
Be prepared for some crazy (not so) sexy purging. If your diet is mildly bad, then your detox will be mildly uncomfortable. If your diet resembles a train wreck, then hang on tight, ’cause it’s gonna be a bumpy ride, baby! Just remember, this too shall pass (that’s the point). It’s better to get the crap out with an enema or colonic than to let it pile up and wage a secret war on your insides. For now, know that most symptoms you feel during the process are totally normal and harmless. Desperate times call for deeper cleaning.
TIP
If you are pregnant; suffering from a flare-up of Crohn’s disease, irritable bowel syndrome, or acute diverticulitis; if you’re having diarrhea; or if you’ve ever had any portion of your colon removed, then colonics are not advised.
DETOXING
YOUR BODY with
Alejandro Junger, MD, is the best-selling author of Clean: The Revolutionary Program to Restore the Body’s Natural Ability to Heal Itself.
SQUATTER’S RIGHTS
There are three times in life when squatting is necessary. One: childbirth. Two: if you’re employed as an umpire. Three: dropping the kids off at the pool, aka taking a crap. The modern can just wasn’t designed in your colon’s best interest. Ideally, your feet should be elevated about 10 to 18 inches off the ground—you want your knees to be higher than your hips.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw a squat toilet while working in a rural area of Japan. Basically, it’s a hole in the ground with a flusher. I thought, You’ve got to be kidding. When I asked my interpreter why the toilets in town were so freaky, he laughed and said, “It’s your toilets that are freaky, my dear.” Hmmm. Many years later, while studying the colon, I realized my Japanese host was right. The squatting position is the way we’re naturally designed for pooping. By raising your feet to simulate a squat position, you encourage (“that-agirl!”) a complete removal of waste.
No need to ask your plumber to take out your toilet and install a hole in your bathroom. Renewlife.com sells a LifeSTEP support stool that fits around your toilet so that your feet can rest in the anatomically correct position for healthy elimination. You can find a fancier version (a bit more chic and attractive) at miraclestep.com. If you want to be thrifty, just use a small hamper or trash can—that’s what I use. In addition to squatting, strong abdominals really help move things along. Do your sit-ups, folks! Happy pooping!
FOOD COMBINING
Another way to create optimum digestion, assimilation, and elimination for better energy and overall health is strategic food combining. Different foods have different transit schedules (the time it takes from entry to exit) and require different digestive enzymes and varying acid/alkaline conditions. When we combine food properly, we can manage the traffic in our gut to move smoothly and without jams. When we don’t, the resulting gridlock creates road rage. The result? Foul farts, rot, too much mucus, constipation, partly digested food in your commode, and bloating that makes you blame your nice trousers.
Not everyone is sensitive to dense, miscombined meals. Perhaps you have the constitution of a gladiator and this step will only make you feel restricted and pissed. If so, forget it! Food combining is a somewhat new concept, and while there are many respected health practitioners who swear by its value, others think it’s a lot of nonsense. Be a curious Wellness Warrior and try it for yourself. If you suffer from belly and bowel troubles after meals, you may see a big difference. My guess is that you won’t have to experiment for long. A few days to a week should be enough to know if food combining is helping you.
When I teach nutrition classes in my workshops, I usually bring a fancy lace bra and a pair of my husband’s paint-stained overalls to explain the principles of food combining. Picture those filthy work pants covered in grease, paint, and God only knows what else in your washer. Those stank pants need to be soaked and laundered in boiling hot water with lots of Seventh Generation detergent and maybe a splash of natural bleach.
The metal clasps make loud banging noises and nothing but rags are safe with them in the spin cycle. Would you put your lovely (and extremely expensive) La Perla bra in the wash with that brute? My guess is no. If you did, your lady holders would be torn to shreds and useless. Tit slings need the delicate cycle. Dirty dog pants need a power shower. If you put them in the delicate cycle, they will remain filthy. Get the picture? Your bra and his pants require different transit times to get clean and spiffy.
Different foods have different transit schedules (the time it takes from entry to exit) and require different digestive enzymes and varying acid/alkaline conditions.
COMBO BASICS
The basic principles of food combining are pretty simple. Here’s a list to get you started. To see these principles in action, check out Monday in my “Crazy Sexy Day in the Life” portion of chapter 10.
Eat melon alone or leave it alone (fifteen to thirty minutes’ digestion time).
Fruits alone (one to two hours).
Starch (grains, root vegetables, beans, cereals, breads) go well with vegetables (three hours).
Protein (nuts, seeds, beans, flesh) goes well with vegetables (four hours). note: Animal protein can take eight hours or longer.
Protein and starch do not combine well. Examples: eggs and toast, peanut butter and bread (jelly too), nuts and grains.
Protein and fruit do not combine well; neither do starch and fruit. Think overalls and a lacy bra. The overalls are like a slab of meat, the bra, a bowl of berries. Together they make a putrefaction disco!
Though avocados are technically a fruit that’s loaded with protein and good fats, they fall in the starch category. But these little gems (aka nature’s butter) go with just about everything. Enjoy!
Veggies are like Switzerland—totally neutral and go with everything. They are the glue that holds us together (two to three hours).
Though fruit should really be eaten alone, you can make juices and smoothies with fruit and veggies.
BEANS
You may be wondering why I put beans in the starch category in the combo basics sidebar. Technically, beans are both a starch and a protein. When you soak your beans overnight, you make them easier to digest. The same holds true for nuts and seeds. Soaking times vary. Usually the more dense the nut, the longer you’ll need to soak it. You can easily find recommended soaking times online. For beans, add a 2-inch piece of kombu (seaweed) to the soaking water and those protein-packed fart generators will be even easier on your belly. Sprouting beans activates their life force, making them more like a nutritious veggie. Since beans are in both categories, you can combine them with starches (example: rice and beans). This goes for tofu and tempeh as well.
TIP
Chewing thoroughly will help you absorb your food better and release waste with ease. In fact, some nutrition experts say you should drink your food and chew your water, which basically means that everything that goes down your throat should be pureed, because digestion starts with enzymes released in your saliva when you chew. So start grinding those purdy jaws! Sorry, fellow boozers, but another tip to remember is to try not to consume liquids while eating. They dilute the digestive juices. Remember to stop eating three hours before sleeping and not to stuff yourself. Leave room for joy, creativity, fun—and sex!
When in food-combining doubt, take a good digestive enzyme supplement, especially when consuming flesh. I take enzymes with each meal and have seen a drastic decline in the gas, bloating, and post-chow energy lag. (I’ll talk more about these in chapter 9.)
MORE ON BACTERIA
At this very moment, you’re host to a mindblowing microscopic menagerie of critters in your gut. Trillions of bacteria make up your intestinal flora, living and dying and doing jobs so important that you couldn’t survive without them. There are so many, in fact, that they outnumber the cells of your actual body by ten to one. Among their vital roles: They produce specific hormones, enzymes, and vitamins (like K and certain Bs) that your body needs but wouldn’t get otherwise, they break down fiber and gases, and they produce disease-fighting antibodies and help train the immune system. Clearly, these little dudes are our friends. But as we’ve already discussed, when our intestinal flora is imbalanced, we become more susceptible to a host of problems including digestive issues, asthma, allergies, infections, weight gain, hormonal imbalances, and many other issues in the tissues.
It’s highly competitive in Bowel Town. In fact, you’re host to a constant struggle for supremacy between good and bad, and your diet decides who wins. According to Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP and cofounder of womentowomen.com, “Intestinal microbes can die off by the millions with illness, stress, medication use, and poor diet, but what we eat is the most important factor in keeping the gut healthy. Good bacteria feast on fiber. The bad guys love refined sugar and animal fat.”
You’re like a weapons dealer who takes sides with every meal. Your intestinal climate affects virtually every aspect of your health. Whose side are you on?
Trillions of bacteria make up your intestinal flora, living and dying and doing jobs so important that you couldn’t survive without them.
BAKING BREAD IN YOUR BODY
For many pill-popping, boozing, sugar- and bagelloving gals, yeast overgrowth, also called candida, is an issue. Candida comes in many different forms; the little yeasties exist in small quantities as part of healthy gut flora. But when this nasty and opportunistic microorganism gets out of hand, it will take over any weak area of the body. Think Gremlins on crack! And guess what? Yeast makes its own poop, too. So not only are you dealing with your own waste, you’re dealing with theirs, in the form of alcohol, formaldehyde, and other toxins.
How does yeast take over? You guessed it: overacidification of your inner landscape. In fact, it’s next to impossible to rid yourself of a candida overgrowth if mercury is found in your system (usually from fish or dental fillings). Yeast have a major crush on mercury. They’re like Edward and Bella from the Twilight series—inseparable! If you decide to have your amalgam fillings removed and replaced with nontoxic versions, make sure to find a holistic dentist with experience with this procedure. I did and have seen quite a difference.
Common symptoms of an intestinal yeast overgrowth include gas, bloating, mental fog, fatigue, weight gain, and headaches. Check yourself: White spots on the skin, nail and toe fungus, vaginal infections, or a coated tongue, may be signaling a demonic bakery on the inside! Once you have an overgrowth, it takes time and complete consistency to rebalance.
Vaginal yeast infections—otherwise known as baking bread or making cottage cheese in your bloomers—can be a sign of high blood sugar or diabetes. The yeast thrive on the extra sugar (so do the bacteria that cause bladder infections). Get a medical checkup, especially if you’re overweight or menopausal.
Not to worry, the Crazy Sexy Diet plan is like voodoo for yeast. That’s right, eating more alkaline foods is key. Yeast just love sugar and the acidity it causes, and that’s exactly what they won’t be getting. They don’t get an opportunity to grow, because now you’re eating very little sugar, no refined carbs, and loads of minerals, and you’re focused on maintaining proper alkalinity and eliminating old, oxygen-sucking sludge.
If you suspect an intestinal yeast overgrowth, there are several natural remedies that can help. I use a combination of raw garlic (about one clove per day) and oregano oil capsules while avoiding all fruit, grains, breads, and carbs for a period of time. Candex and Candigone are good products that can be found in most health food stores. For more information, read The Body Ecology Diet by Donna Gates with Linda Schatz, a terrific book that can totally transform your terrain. Stick with her vegan suggestions if possible, and say bye-bye bugs, hello health!
IT’S IN
THE CRAPPER!
The beauty of the CSD is that after just a short while, you won’t even think about being constipated (and all the negatives that go with it) or bloated. It just doesn’t happen, and if it does, it’s rare and you now know how to deal with it. Power to the pooper, baby! What’s even more exciting for the whole digestive superhighway is the green elixir—juice. We’re getting our juices flowing in the next chapter.
testimonial: Jessy F.
I started the CSD because I was indulging in waaaaay too many snacks, treats, and breads. I was addicted to sugar and bingeing late at night; as a result I was sluggish, depressed, and suffering from IBS. A normal day for me was visiting the bathroom at least twelve times. I had lived like this since I was twelve years old, and had enough.
I’ve been vegan since January 1, 2008—but giving up sugar, Diet Coke, and bread as I knew it (with gluten) was downright scary. At the end of week one I felt great and my IBS was nonexistent. I look forward to my morning juice ’n’ smoothie, a giant salad for lunch, and mostly raw dinners. I’ve stayed gluten-free, mostly sugar-free, and no more sodas and junk. I feel too good to go back to the way I ate before. I do more yoga and the best part is I’m not in the bathroom twelve times a day. I feel happy, full of energy, and awesome!
CHAPTER 
IN REVIEW
REMEMBER:
You are what you eat and what you don’t poop.
Ingesting bad foods and toxins creates congestion in the digestion—and that’s just the beginning of your problems.
Enemas and colonics help take the trash out.
Food combining is another great way to keep things moving.
A balance in gut flora makes a healthy, happy you.