CHAPTER 7
GOD POD GLOW
Self–care (including cleansing and detoxing) extends beyond the food in your fridge. A Crazy Sexy life includes reflection, booty shake, natural beauty products, rest, and relaxation. But you knew that, right? And yet it’s so easy to overcommit or mismanage your time. Like most multitasking gals, you’ve probably broken many promises to yourself. You’ve written “Eat right and exercise more” resolutions for decades. As life spins out of control, you break those resolutions—often after just a few days of trying them. This all-too-common pattern sets the stage for a bigger problem.
The dilemma with continually falling on and off the self-care wagon isn’t that you missed out on sweating, healthy food, soul pampering, and prayer, it’s that you eventually lose trust in your own word. That’s 911 bad. Losing trust leads to losing belief in your self-worth. Ouch! What’s next? “Why bother? I never follow through,” “I’ll always be fat, sick, and unhappy,” “I’m not good enough or smart enough,” “It runs in my family, there’s nothing I can do.” Do you see the powerless position these words put you in? Enter the language police.
As hard as it might be, I want you to backtalk your inner nag and get on the wagon again. She doesn’t deserve the last word. Your words (or hers!) create your reality. They affirm all things good or all things negative. This isn’t just some new agey “Secret” shit; it’s the key to creating harmony in your life. So as you approach this new anti-inflammatory diet and lifestyle, will you choose half-empty thinking or half-full? Here’s a hint: Choose half full! Rebuild trust by showering yourself with kindness and care. Make space for the new you by cherishing your time and using it wisely. The world won’t explode if you ease up, let go, and chillax. Stress sucks. It eats you alive. And if you’re a perfectionistic control freak, I’m especially talking to you. Take things off your plate, dear one. Create new habits and new routines that support your highest good.
Here’s a helpful exercise: Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair.
From this day forward I want you to extend the same compassion to your adult self. As Terri Cole, an awesome therapist, life coach, and my best pal, says, “If not you, then who? If not now, then when?” The next time your inner nag has something bad to say, stop and think about that kid. Then rewrite your script accordingly. You’re worth it, angel wing. The world needs you to stand in your holy shazzam glory! Polish your inner and outer shine to a brilliant luster by committing to a comprehensive self-care regime.
Like most multitasking gals, you’ve probably broken many promises to yourself.
MEDITATION
BOOT CAMP
Meditation is a prerequisite for Crazy Sexy success. When your mind is strong and centered, cravings and emotional discomfort won’t have the same sabotaging effect. Therefore, it stands to reason that a positive way to start your day looks something like this: pee, brush your teeth, and sit your ass on a meditation pillow! Wait, no coffee, news, or New York Times? Nope.
Our minds are the most open first thing in the morning. How we start our day sets us up for success or failure. As my friend Marianne Williamson says, “Do not be mystified about why you are depressed by noon when you start your day with the angst and despair in the world, especially if you add caffeine.”
I recently gave a wellness lecture at Harvard University. Toward the end of my speech, I taught the students a simple meditation technique and encouraged them to join me for five minutes of silence. When the time was up, I asked the brightminded kids how it felt. One of the young men made the following observation: “I hated it! Halfway through it felt like torture.” Hold up, halfway through was at minute 2.5! “What if I told you that meditation could teach you how to better concentrate and focus, which would ultimately enhance your performance at school?” I asked. That got their attention! As you can imagine, Harvard is an extremely competitive joint where the vast majority of the students experience major burnout. What good is the expensive knowledge if you’re too fried to use it? That day we began to strategize a curriculum for what I called the Inner Harvard. Naturally, meditation was at the top of the list. When you understand your mind you can harness its power to achieve more than you imagined possible. The space between the noise is where God/dess lives. There are many answers there. Don’t shy away from visiting.
Like the young Harvard student, the thought of meditating may overwhelm you. Some imagine excruciating boredom. Others are afraid of what they might feel if they took the time to pay attention. I can totally relate. In the past, wild maniac squatters frequently took up residence between my ears, under my blond hair. When I first started meditating I thought I would Helter Skelter snap.
Since then I’ve lived in monasteries, made pilgrimages to zendos, ashrams, sweat lodges, churches, mosques, and retreats. The silence within those walls reminded me that beneath my static lay an encyclopedia of healing guidance. Calm … can you picture it? What a nice place to take a day trip! It’s free, and the view is spectacular. Start (and end) your day with five minutes, graduate to ten, work up to twenty, and so on. Meditation quiets the din and introduces you to yourself. “Hi me, I’m me, nice to meet you!”
THE BUSY PERSON’S
GUIDE TO … STOPPING
Before you jump in, here are a few suggestions that may prevent complete lunacy. Create a sacred space just for you. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. We’re not talking Taj Mahal here. My space consists of a little altar with pictures I love, candles, posies (altars like offerings), angel cards, and other spiritual tchotchkes. Christmas lights help, too. I like to meditate, pray, rant, and journal while sitting on a pillow in front of my altar. As soon as my butt hits the cushion, it’s excavation time. If a pillow doesn’t work for you, try a comfortable seat or a back jack chair (a floor chair that has fantastic back support). Buy a kitchen timer or a meditation chime. Set the timer for an appropriate number of minutes—ten to fifteen to start. Close your eyes and take a deep and cleansing breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Let your breath settle into a normal rhythm and then begin to count to ten. Inhale one—exhale; inhale two—exhale; and so on. If that’s too slow for you then inhale one—exhale two—inhale three—exhale four, etc. If your mind drifts and you imagine yourself buying shoes or guns, gently bring it back and start counting again. Your mind is like a muscle: The more consistent you are, the stronger you get.
Each time you return to the breath, you break an old pattern (distraction) and create a new mental habit (focus). Direct your mind where you want it to travel instead of always going for the ride. You can also use a mantra if this is easier for you. For example, inhale “let,” exhale “go,” or inhale “may all beings everywhere,” exhale “be happy and free.” When the timer beeps, you’re done. You did it! Now do it again later and again tomorrow. Got it?
One last note: There is no “right” way to tune in. If a guided meditation or visualization works better for you, fantastic! There are countless CDs available. Chanting, Kirtan, and dance are other great tools. Check out my dear mentor and spiritual sister Gabrielle Roth’s 5 Rhythms method, also known as “Sweat Your Prayers.” Gabrielle’s deeply healing movement meditation draws from shamanism, eastern philosophy, and psychology. At the core of the practice is the belief that everything is energy that moves in waves, patterns, and rhythms, which releases the heart and mind in order to connect to the soul. Amen! For more information, check out www.gabrielleroth.com.
MORNING
SADHANA with
Sharon Gannon is a yoga master, author, animal activist, musician, and artist with a commitment to teaching yoga as a path to enlightenment through compassion for all beings. She is the author of several books, including Yoga and Vegetarianism, and cofounder of the Jivamukti Yoga Method, which is taught worldwide.
YOGA BABY
“The practice of yoga focuses on purifying the physical body, which is comprised of vibrations—of sound arising from our inner mental environment. Yoga should push you over the edge a bit. It must be physically challenging enough so you question who is the doer. Let God come in and do the work,” says Sharon Gannon (who you just met).
I began studying Jivamukti yoga (my favorite form of Hatha yoga that incorporates spiritual practice and activism) with Sharon and her partner and cofounder David Life in 1992. Back then I was a dancer with lots of injuries and few solutions. A friend suggested I try yoga. Yoga? I wanted something hard-core, not gentle stretching for aging hippies. But I trusted my friend and reluctantly trucked down to a first-floor walkup in the East Village. What happened next transformed my life and planted the seeds for the self-designed healing plan I would create eleven years later when cancer came.
Roll out your mat and tend to your temple. When the great swami stretchy people created yoga, they weren’t interested in a rock-hard middle or toned booty. These sages knew that the ultimate hot spot waits for us in our mind. But as you’ve already learned, the only way to get into the club is to meditate regularly. However, if your body is frozen and squeaky, it can be wicked painful to sit in lotus position while trying to clear your mind and focus. Let asana—yoga positions—thaw you out.
There are many forms of yoga available to us today, and each of us gravitates toward a particular style for our own reasons. Check out yogajournal.com to find a school near you and amazon.com for endless videos that allow you to have a yoga session in the comfort of your own home.
When the great swami stretchy people created yoga, they weren’t interested in a rockhard middle or toned booty.
SHAKE YOUR ASS
Of diet, meditation, and exercise, which do you think is the most important for a vibrant God pod glow? Whichever one you’re not doing. Zoinks! All three are important for a well-rounded, healthy state of mind and body. The one I seem to skip the most is exercise. Lots of my gal pals have the same problem. Here’s an awesome statistic I learned from Dr. Brian Clement: The body heals eight times faster when you exercise regularly. Eight times! Exercise floods the body with our favorite friend, oxygen. If you recall, lymph is circulated by a pump called move your ass! Your tissues depend on lymph to provide oxygen and carry off wastes. If the lymph doesn’t circulate, then the tissues suffocate in their own acidic waste products. Gross!
Sweating is sublime. It’s a perfect time to practice a new language of healthy messages sent to yourself and others. Walk and affirm positive things in your life. Dance and affirm. Fly through the air on the trapeze and affirm. “I am healthy, I am strong, I am focused, I am powerful, I am lean, I am confident, I am whole.” Infuse your hip shake with the sacred spark. Sweat and reprogram! A phenomenal method to help you do this is called Intensati by Patricia Moreno. OMG! Check out her Web site, videos, and book. You will be amazed and uplifted (mind and ass cheeks). Patricia combines martial arts, aerobics, and yoga with the power of intention. Build your strength as you shout your intentions. Go to patriciamoreno.com for the deets.
The body heals eight times faster when you exercise regularly.
POUNCE ON your bounce
Remember the fun you had bopping on the trampoline when you were a kid? Well, today you can jump on a mini trampoline called a rebounder. Talk about fantastic cellular exercise! As you bounce, the alternation of weightlessness and gravitational pull gently squeezes your cells. This massages and stimulates the lymphatic drainage points, allowing for better elimination and increased oxygen. Rebounding boosts metabolism, improves circulation, helps digestion, and is extremely gentle on your joints.
If you’re new to rebounding, try to bounce for about fifteen minutes three times a week, working your way up to thirty minutes a day, five days a week. For maximum results try breaking it up. Do fifteen minutes twice per day morning and evening. My favorite rebounder is made by Needak and costs around $250—a bargain compared with a gym membership. Rebounders are terrific if space is limited. They fold up easily and store under your bed. If your balance is wonky at first get a rebounder that comes with an optional stability bar. Keep those ankles safe, hot shot.
MOVING IS GROOVING
Get moving in whatever way works for you. Experts suggest we get our hearts pumping three to five times a week for at least thirty-five minutes. You can do that! This may seem like a big commitment, but it’s not. It takes much longer to watch reality TV train wrecks while sucking back a saketini. I’ll share a guilty pleasure with you. I love what I call “shit shows”—you know, the Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight gossip fests. And though I really try to limit the amount of gossiping I do myself, I can’t help but tune in from time to time. Now my rule for celebrity media indulgence is simple: If I want to know who broke up with who and why they went to rehab I can only watch it while sweating on my home elliptical (perfectly placed near my flatscreen). In fact, I watch lots of films, TV shows, and documentaries this way. Before I know it, forty-five minutes have gone by and my workout was fun and highly entertaining!
Throw on your “I’m a goddess” tracksuit and start training, lady. Buy a hula hoop, install a stripper pole, gyrate to your Flashdance record, take up karate, round up your posse and do some double Dutch, or hit the streets or fields for a brisk walk, gentle trot, or all-out run. Some of the best workouts happen outside, in nature. Hike and bike your way through the sunshine. Fill your lungs with oxygen, your eyes with flowers, and soak in the majesty of the mother. Now, that’s a workout!
YOUR 
EPIDERMIS
Now that you’re sweating out the toxins, let’s make sure you don’t lather them back on! As much as possible, you want to use natural products on your sexy epidermis. Your skin is your body’s largest organ. What you put on your body, you literally absorb. So if you wouldn’t drink a bottle of drugstore moisturizer, then don’t put it on your body, because your skin will literally sip it in.
Today we live in a world full of substances that are potentially harmful. Because we’ve all been exposed to thousands of chemicals over our lifetimes, starting when we were still in the womb, we all carry many of them in our bodies. This is what’s known as your body burden. How big is our body burden? According to researcher Randall Fitzgerald in his book The Hundred-Year Lie, pretty big.
He writes, “In 2001 scientists at the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta surveyed 2,400 people and searched for 148 specific toxic compounds in their blood and urine. Every single test subject’s body contained dozens of these toxins.” Each toxin by itself might not be so dangerous. But what happens when you mix all these toxins together? Nobody really knows because the dangers of most of these chemicals haven’t been tested alone, much less in combination.
The average consumer babe uses dozens of personal care products per day! Many of those products contain hundreds of dangerous synthetic chemical compounds. Unlike (most of) the food and drugs we ingest, the cosmetics industry requires no premarket safety tests, monitoring, or labeling. Due to massive loopholes in federal law, companies can put nearly any ingredient into your products. There’s no need to be a makeup-free hippie to be healthy. These days there are many unbelievably gorgeous, nontoxic products on the market. Browse online for the latest brands that are guaranteed and clearly labeled chemical-free, natural, and organic.
Another everyday chemical hazard to stay away from are antibacterial products. Dr. Junger touched on this a bit in chapter 6, but let’s take it a bit farther. Most Americans have been indoctrinated to believe that a sterile world is safer. Sure, antibacterial soaps and cleaning products kill germs—but germs are not always the enemy. And guess what? The tougher, more dangerous germs are often left behind. Overuse of antibacterial products has actually helped create the antibiotic-resistant superbugs that are now widespread. Today the antibacterial craze is expanding into everything. Triclosan, the most widely used antibacterial additive, is even found in children’s toys. In fact, an Environmental Working Group study found that 97 percent of breast-feeding mothers had triclosan in their milk. Paradoxically, you’ll be healthier if you’re not as clean.
Kids are very susceptible to chemicals. And a lot of baby products are loaded with deadly crap. According to Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, formaldehyde and 1,4-dioxane—both known carcinogens—are used as foaming agents and can be found in more than half of children’s bath soaps, shampoos, lotions, and other personal care products. To protect your kids, go with fragrance-free, pure soap products that don’t have added moisturizers.
BODY BURDEN
BEAUTY with
Penis deformation? I don’t like those two words together. In the Potomac River, hormonedisrupting chemicals are causing strange genital malformations in the wild kingdom—frogs, fish, and salamanders with mixed-up sex organs. In the Potomac 100 percent of male smallmouth bass are growing eggs. You read that right: Their testicles are growing eggs instead of sperm. All is not well with male genitalia in the human kingdom, either. An increasing number of boys are being born with undescended testicles and deformed penises. A quarter of American women are already contaminated with high enough levels of phthalates—plastic-softening and fragrance chemicals—to potentially cause malformations in their male offspring.
Years ago, when the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics broke the story that phthalates are found in most beauty products, more than a few people asked me: If phthalates are harmful to boys, why should we worry if they’re in products used by women?
I thought, seriously? But when the question kept coming, I learned that you actually have to answer it: Um, because boys come from the bodies of women.
So yes, we need to worry about beauty products laced with gender-bending chemicals. If we want to protect boys and girls and fish and frogs, we need to keep these chemicals away from females who are, might be, or might someday want to become pregnant. We need to keep these chemicals off our bodies and out of products that run down our drains. In other words, we need to keep these chemicals out of commerce.
That’s why the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics is working to pass laws to ban hazardous chemicals, and to pressure the $50 billion beauty industry to clean up its act.
In the meantime, here’s what you can do to protect yourself, your loved ones, and the salamanders from exposure to hormone-disrupting chemicals:
• AVOID PRODUCTS WITH SYNTHETIC FRAGRANCE. Phthalates are used to make fragrances last longer. Our study found phthalates in more than 70 percent of fragrance-containing products, including shampoos, hair gels, lotions, and deodorants. None of the products listed phthalates on the label. Until we get better laws, it’s best to avoid all synthetic fragrance-containing products.
• JUST SAY NO TO COLOGNE AND PERFUMES. There are better ways to say “I love you” than spraying gender-bending chemicals on your body!
• CHECK LABELS CAREFULLY. Even “fragrance-free” products may contain masking fragrances, which are chemicals used to cover up the odor of other chemicals. Choose products with no added fragrance or with natural fragrance.
• AVOID PARABENS. These chemicals, which can act like estrogen in the body, are used as preservatives in a wide array of lotions, shaving cream, makeup, and shower products. Avoid products that list the word parabens on the label.
• USE EWG’S SKIN DEEP DATABASE TO CHOOSE PRODUCTS. This free resource from the Environmental Working Group is a great way to find safer products with no parabens and no added fragrance; try the advanced search function. It’s on the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics Web site at safecosmetics.org.
• REMEMBER THE “LESS IS BETTER” RULE. Avoid and reduce exposures wherever you can and there will be fewer hazardous chemicals in your home, your body, and the fish. Future generations will thank you!
Stacy Malkan is a cofounder of the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics and author of Not Just a Pretty Face: The Ugly Side of the Beauty Industry.
DRY BRUSHING
Daily dry brushing is a great way to keep your skin clear of debris. Dry brushing loosens dead cells, stimulates acupressure points, tickles your chi, moves the lymph, wakes up your immune system, improves circulation, and makes your skin soft and velvety. It also reduces cellulite. Now I’ve gotcha!
We dump about a pound of waste from our skin on a daily basis. When your skin is clogged, those toxins reabsorb instead of being eliminated. It’s normal to experience breakouts and dry patches during a detox. Your body is using the opportunity to release built-up toxins. Better out than in. It will pass, especially if you commit to helpful practices like skin brushing.
Look for a natural-bristle brush at any health food store or online. You can also use those inexpensive loofah gloves found at most drugstores. They’re easy to use, plus both hands can go wild! Throw them in the wash from time to time. When using a brush, wash it with soap once a week and let it dry, otherwise it will get mildewy.
HOW TO BRUSH
Technically, experts say it’s best to start with your feet and work your way up your body, using long upward strokes moving toward your heart. I like to blast Hendrix and go with my muse. It’s dry brushing, not rocket science! Throw in some circular motions (especially on your upper thighs and bum) and upward sweeps, add some shimmy, and call it a day. Pay special attention to the dimply areas.
The best time to brush is before a shower or bath in the morning. Remember to be kind, especially around your titties and other sensitive areas. Can you brush your face? Sure! Just be gentle and look for a scrubbing cloth designed specifically for that area (I just use a dry washcloth).
When I brush on a regular basis, I see a big difference in my skin. It glows. I tend to get ingrown hairs and bumps in weird places (TMI?). If I don’t brush my legs, they become a highway of scales! In a nutshell, dry brushing transports me from lizard back to human—which is truly where I feel most comfortable. Make dry brushing a part of your daily beauty regime. Your temple will feel the devotion. Now go have some fun stroking yourself !
ESSENTIAL OILS
Remember the loving aromas from your grandma’s kitchen or the yummy musk of your first crush? Powerful stuff. Those thought-smells always bring a smile to my face.
Close your eyes and imagine the scent of pine. Sit with that sensation, then move to peppermint, followed by lemongrass. Do you feel invigorated, uplifted, and refreshed? How about lavender or sandalwood? Relaxed? Warm? When I think of rose, I immediately feel balanced and romantic. That’s because essential oils (EOs) have a positive effect on our brain, especially our hypothalamus and limbic system. Well, if your memories can bring you to that space, then imagine what your nose can do!
Your distinguished schnozz knows exactly how to harness the healing power of plants. For centuries traditional cultures have been using essential oils for purification, religious ceremonies, and medicinal purposes. Churches waft with the smell of frankincense and myrrh for a reason. And no self-respecting Buddhist would be caught dead without a stick of burning sandalwood and a strand of beads. These divine bouquets bring us two steps closer to calm and holy.
But quality is key. Remember how heat breaks down nutrients and enzymes? Well, the same holds true for therapeutic oils. Synthetic oils, those found in most “health food” stores, can be quite toxic. They’re often created with solvents and high heat that damage the plants. Companies that produce synthetic oils also use chemicals to extend their shelf life. These oils do not have the same medicinal qualities. Therapeutic-grade oils use gentle distillation methods to extract the essence of the plants. EOs are often used for their antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, hormone-balancing, and painreduction qualities. But most of all, EOs make ya feel happy and uplifted!
When applied topically, EOs penetrate the cell membranes, allowing them to travel through the blood and tissues in order to enhance cellular function. Because the distillation process is quite laborintensive, an entire plant may be needed for just one drop of oil. That’s why the best oils are fairly expensive.
By now you’re probably anxious to find these mega potions for yourself. My two favorite brands are Essential 3 (essentialthree.com) and Young Living Essential Oils (youngliving.com). I trust their very pure products and love their blends. No matter what oil you use, make sure you spend your money wisely. Just because something smells good in the bottle doesn’t mean it is good. The ingredients on the label should say “essential oil” and not “aromatherapy oil.” The word “pure” should always precede the oil type (pine, cinnamon, and so on); “organic” is another quality to look for. Also do a little research and make sure the essential oils have been steam distilled, an extraction process that uses water, not chemical solvents.
HOW TO USE essential oils
I find these simple ways to use essential oils highly effective.
Apply 1 to 2 drops directly to the skin to balance mood or as a perfume.
Drink 1 to 2 drops in an 8-ounce glass of water. This is great for an upset tummy or a soothing tea. Because I encourage you to stay hydrated, EOs can be used to add a little jazz to your water intake. I particularly like adding 1 to 2 drops of lemon or grapefruit oil.
Add 15 to 20 drops of undiluted essential oils to jojoba, avocado, coconut, or sweet almond “carrier” oil for external application. Use liberally for massage or as a healthy moisturizer.
Inhale either directly from the bottle or through a diffuser for a lovely lift. My husband and I have a diffuser in our bedroom. When we load it up with lavender and purified water, we sleep like babies and wake up refreshed!
Add 15 to 20 drops to a bath and soak, soak, soak (more on that later).
For a spa-like experience or when ya have a stuffy nose, fill a bowl with hot water and a few eucalyptus oil drops. Wrap a towel around your head and bowl and let the steam open your sinuses.
You can also use oils in your cooking! I add a few drops of oregano, sage, or tarragon to a light sauté, yum! And how about dessert? Raw cacao pudding with a hint of rose or lavender! You can also add them to smoothies. Can you see key lime pie or peppermint patty? Wellness Warriors are très creative. How do ya think we keep it all going?
SINUS HAPPINESS
Sinus problems are one of the main reasons why people in the United States see a doctor, according to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America. Conventional medicines for sinus trouble—from over-the-counter antihistamines to powerful painkillers—can become harmful crutches that don’t really leave you breathing easier. A neti pot, used for thousands of years by yogis and other smartypants, is a simple way to naturally and gently irrigate your sinuses with lukewarm salt water. Though it might seem like you’re gonna drown the first time you use a neti pot, it’s actually very easy (and refreshing!). Once you place the neti spout in your nose and tilt your noggin sideways over the sink, a gentle stream of salt water runs through your nasal passage, washing away environmental chemicals, pollen, mucus, dust, viruses, and bacteria—all the stuff your nose filters throughout the day. Make a neti cleanse part of your daily grooming ritual—wash face, brush teeth, clean nostrils. Neti pots come with instructions—using one is actually quick and easy once you get the hang of it! The folks at the Himalayan Institute (himalayan institute.org) make my favorite neti pots, salts, and washes. Great peeps.
BREATH WORK
Do a body scan. Are you holding your breath right now? If so, exhale. When we’re stressed, the first thing we do is shallow-breathe. Chemical sensitivity can also cause shallow breathing; so can tightness in your chest as a result of smoking, poor diet, and too much caffeine or alcohol. Perhaps you don’t breathe deeply because of an old physical or emotional trauma or because in some corner of your mind a deep breath means a rounded belly and a rounded belly is “bad.”
Shallow breathing can lead to a host of health problems, both physical and mental. Learning to breathe properly ensures that your body is getting all the delicious oxygen it needs. When you’re breathing properly, your stomach, not your chest, rises slightly as you breathe in. When you exhale, your stomach lowers slightly. Note: Poor posture restricts the flow of air and the rise and fall of your diaphragm. So remember your mother’s nagging and sit up straight!
Take some time to get frisky with your lungs. You instinctively knew how to breathe properly as an infant, but like most of us you forgot along the way. Dr. Andrew Weil has some helpful breathing how-tos on his Web site, drweil.com. Check it out! Kapalabhati breathing is another helpful technique. This yogic method is used specifically for cleansing. If you have a lot of mucus in your sinuses, it can really clear you out. Kapalabhati also helps with stress reduction and chest tension. Go to yogajournal.com to learn how to incorporate this wonderful practice into your daily life.
MASSAGE, ACUPUNCTURE,
AND HANDS - ON HEALING
Both massage and acupuncture are terrific for removing blockages, stimulating energy flow (chi), and creating better circulation. Plus, they help you take it down a notch.
Acupuncture—inserting very thin needles into particular points in the skin—can alleviate conditions such as headache, irritable bowel syndrome, constipation, asthma, and chronic pain. Feeling blue? Acupuncture produces a shift in the neuropeptides that control your mood. In my book, a dose of happiness and calm are well worth a little poke. But if the idea of needles makes you too queasy, try acupressure or shiatsu massage instead.
Wait. Did someone say massage? The very word calms me down. Massages are often viewed as luxury splurges. Let’s change that. Your body is an instrument that must be tuned. Hands-on healing should be part of regular life maintenance. Massage gives you energy, boosts your immune system, helps your circulation, and improves the quality and quantity of your sleep. Best of all, it releases stored emotions that create issues in your tissues. There are many different types of massage that can produce lasting beneficial effects. I’ll take a good deeptissue massage any day! A few massage techniques you may not be as familiar with are craniosacral, lymphatic drainage, and Reiki.
CRANIOSACRAL THERAPY (CST)
CST restores harmony to your central nervous system through subtle pressure to the spine and cranial bones. Trained practitioners gently manipulate the cerebrospinal fluid. The peaceful and restorative massage helps with stress, migraines, and neck pain. You may be surprised at how vivid your dreams become after a treatment. Craniosacral therapy helps me reboot my creativity when my writing tank starts running on empty.
LYMPHATIC DRAINAGE MASSAGE
You can never do too much for your lovely lymph system. Lymph massage uses light, sweeping strokes that gently move the “waters” (lymphatic fluid) toward a network of drainage points, capillaries and larger vessels studded with filters called nodes. Patients with edema may benefit greatly from lymphatic massage.
Don’t be surprised if your urine smells stinky after the treatments, or if you need to whizzle more than usual. Excess fluids and toxins are simply finding their way out of your system. Drink plenty of purified water. Another great tip for keeping the fluids flowing is to avoid wearing tight-fitting bras, underpants, or hose when possible. Of course, there will be times when you feel like being a vamp or a girlie girl, so the snug and sexy stuff is okay. When you’re off duty, though, let your body flow in comfy, loose cotton.
REIKI
One of the reasons I love Reiki is because I can do it to myself. Kinky! Just kidding. In Japanese, Reiki literally means “universal life force energy.” When your life force is low, Reiki practitioners believe that you are more likely to get sick. If it’s high, you’re more capable of being happy and healthy. This gentle yet potent form of healing helps free energetic blockages. To understand how it works, try this: Rub your hands together vigorously for about thirty seconds. Now slowly separate your hands until they’re about 2 inches apart. Feel the heat? Your hands tingle as electric impulses shoot from your palms. That’s life force!
Take that energy and apply it to any neglected area in your body. You can touch it directly or let your charged hands hover about an inch or so above the pain, sadness, or dis-ease. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Send love and release negativity. I do this when my heart aches or when I want to channel extra healing energy to my liver. Reiki is simple to learn (see reiki.com). You can give yourself or someone you love a Reiki treatment; likewise, they can give one to you.
BATHING
There’s nothing quite as relaxing and luxurious as a hot, deep, and long … bath. At the end of a hard day at the office, on a rainy Sunday afternoon, after a day at the beach, or just about anytime at all, a soothing soak is so nice for your skin, tissues, blood flow, muscles, mind, and mood.
SAUNAS AND STEAM BATHS
Saunas and steam baths are both excellent forms of detox. The dry heat of a sauna stimulates oil-based organs, such as your liver and gallbladder. Infrared saunas are even better because the heat penetrates your tissues at a much deeper and, therefore, more cleansing level. Infrared saunas are especially good for detoxing heavy metals, chemicals, and poisons from chemotherapy or radiation treatments.
Steam heat, which is moist, stimulates and strengthens water-based organs such as your kidneys, bladder, and lungs. Just make sure your gym or spa isn’t using tap water loaded with chlorine and that they keep the spaces spotlessly clean. Steam rooms can be breeding grounds for mold, mildew, and bacteria.
THERAPEUTIC BATHS
Never underestimate the healing powers of bathwater. Baths are incredibly calming and deeply therapeutic. Remember, you’re a Queen (or a King), and royal people make time for rituals. Get ye to the soul soak, Your Highness! Your adrenals will thank you.
TIP
Ginger baths are wonderful energizing soaks. Add ½ cup powdered ginger to your bathwater to induce sweat and improve circulation. You can also grate a couple of inches of fresh ginger and then squeeze it through cheesecloth (I just use my hand) to get fresh ginger juice. Note: Ginger baths are not recommended for folks with heart problems or high blood pressure.
Don’t forget the candles and music, or how about a guided meditation or visualization CD? This is your time. Press pause and greet your authentic self.
Your body is a highly advanced network of storage units that holds physical, mental, and emotional power and/or pus. Remember the random stuff you’d find in your locker at the end of the school year? Old sandwiches, detention slips, a love note, perhaps a Frisbee. Your body is much like that locker. It holds the teachings (good and bad) until you’re ready to release them and move on to the next school year.
Warm baths with Epsom salts and/or baking soda help remove acid waste products from your cells and tissues. Try adding 1 or 2 cups of Epsom salts, one-quarter cup of baking soda, and a dash of lavender to your bathwater. This is a great remedy for detoxing heavy metals and radiation (especially after a long flight) and helps soothe skin rashes, psoriasis, and eczema. Got a pesky hemorrhoid? Well, sit your burning ass in the tub! Epsom salt baths also reduce inflammation and relieve muscle fatigue.
Once again, let’s circle back to our pH lesson. Most of your parts and pieces prefer to be slightly alkaline. Your skin is one exception. Swimming in chlorine or regular use of harsh soaps can strip your skin’s acid mantle, leaving it dry and itchy. Another exception (for all you Queens out there) is your vagina. One or 2 cups of apple cider vinegar in a warm bath can help restore the proper balance. Apple cider vinegar baths also help combat unfriendly bacteria, fight fungal overgrowth, and ease the discomfort associated with vaginal and bladder infections. The next time your lady flower starts feeling funky and making bread (due to a bad diet, poor hygiene, or antibiotics) try some vinegar posthaste! Apple cider vinegar baths are also excellent for joint inflammation, arthritis, and gout.
SLEEPING BEAUTY
Lack of sleep has devastating effects on health and beauty. Once your final meal is digested, your body diverts its energy toward cleaning and repair. This happens while you catch some Zs, ideally for eight uninterrupted hours between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. That’s why it’s très, très important that you finish eating three hours before going to sleep. Your body needs that precious time (and energy) to get through a long list of inner chores. When your sleep is cut short, your body doesn’t have time to complete the phases needed for muscle repair, memory enhancement, the release of hormones, regulating the metabolism, and so on. If that doesn’t get you motivated to snooze, this might. Lack of sleep makes you fat. According to WebMD, if you’re up late, the odds are greater that you’re doing some late-night snacking, which will increase your calorie intake. In addition, hormones that affect appetite take over, making you hungrier the next morning. These hormones also make you feel not as full after eating. So what do you do? You guessed it, eat more!
CREATE A SACRED SIESTA PALACE
Take a look at your sleep habits and bedroom. For optimum recharge, you want to crash out in a quiet and slightly cool environment. If your sleeping space resembles a storage unit, tidy it up, sassy. Paint it with soothing (nontoxic) colors and remove the boob tube and computer. Even the lava lamp must go! While it’s fun to have sex bathed in groovy light, you want to sleep in total darkness—light leaks affect your pineal gland’s production of melatonin and serotonin, the two chemicals that promote slumber.
If your budget allows, update your pillows and bedding to the organic cotton version. Research organic chemical-free mattress companies online. Sucking back flame retardants for eight hours ain’t healthy. Add some plants to your room, too. Plants are nature’s air purifier. Do what it takes to make your bedroom an ashram for sleeping.
Also, train yourself to sleep and rise at around the same time each day. Everyone has an internal clock, but over time and because of stress, inflexible schedules, and other modern inconveniences, we lose the ability to self-wake. Contrary to popular belief, sleep isn’t something we can ever catch up on. It’s okay to sleep in a bit on the weekend, but don’t overdo it—you’ll throw your whole rhythm off. Also, avoid stimulants like caffeine, depressants like alcohol, and strenuous exercise for a few hours before bedtime.
SNOOZING FOR ENERGY
Your good sleep intentions go straight out the bedroom window when life gets crazy (not-so-sexy) busy! Enter the nap. Our bodies have a natural rhythm of sleep and wake cycles. You’ve probably noticed that you feel a dip in your energy and alertness in the afternoon between about 1 and 3 p.m., even if you’re well rested. That’s perfectly normal—it’s siesta time and your God pod knows it. If you take a nap of just twenty minutes, you’ll go from feeling like a wilted plant to an alert and perky Energizer Bunny.
If it’s at all possible to carve out the time for a power nap during your day, do it! All you need is a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted. Empty conference rooms are a good napping spot; so is your car. A leopard-print eye mask blocks out distracting light, and a pillow and perhaps a light blanket make you comfy. Set a timer for at least twenty minutes (the alarm function on your cell is handy) and let yourself doze off. Learning to nap when you’re not lying on a bed takes a little getting used to, but with practice you’ll become an experienced napper, able to fall asleep quickly. Sweet dreams, beauty!
TAKE CARE
There’s nothing in the least selfish or trivial about taking care of yourself. Many of us have established routines that involve gobs of the aforementioned beauty goop. Think of replacing old grooming and fitness rituals with the new ones I’ve outlined here. You’re too pretty to pass on the chance to be even more gorgeous. When you’re taking care of your body and mind, your skin and what’s beneath it, you are taking care of your whole world. Why? Because, silly, when you’re at your best you do your best. How nice for everyone else!
testimonial: Ana C. G.
With Kris’s guidance I reconnected with my body physically, mentally, and spiritually. I’m empowered by the real energy that flows through my body as it heals naturally.
The level of energy in my body has s kyrocketed. I feel clean in and out, no more toxic waste. During my first week on the cleanse I developed some detox signs that honestly scared me. I did not know what was going on until Kris wrote to expect such a reaction: rash on my arms and legs. I started dry brushing and having hot Epsom salt baths and in a few days I was me again—but better.
One thing that also helped me amazingly were some simple tools to balance and calm my body. My bath-time calming was a daily gift. Meditation guided me to my inner peace and continues to be an eye-opener for me. I had never done yoga before but today I recommend yoga to everyone. Only a few minutes a day every day helps stretch your body in a deeply satisfying way.
I also have a daily walking routine, first thing in the morning for thirty to forty-five minutes, then I do a dry brush, and oh, it’s so refreshing. Now I walk for pleasure instead of just burning calories, which always felt like a torture. Feeling the morning sun on my face is an instant energizer. Wow!
CHAPTER 
IN REVIEW
REMEMBER:
Make and keep promises to yourself.
Create a morning spiritual practice.
Do nothing with purpose—learn to meditate and get into a daily habit.
Take up a yoga practice, and try to find one taught by a true yoga master so you get both the physical and spiritual benefits from your daily routine.
Sweat = glow.
Many of the personal care products we use every day contain hundreds of dangerous synthetic chemical compounds.
Charm your skin with dry brushing and essential oils.
Take care of your sinuses with a neti pot.
Practice breath work.
Take it down a notch with a massage and a bath.
Sleep, beauty … sleep.