Listen to Learn
AFFIRMATIONS
for
Meditation and Reflection
I am enjoying a deeper sense of fulfillment when actively listening to someone, who then feels fulfilled as a result of being truly heard.
I am practicing the art of arguing less and listening more.
I am learning to be caring and patient while actively listening to others express their feelings.
The art of effective listening is essential to clear communication, and clear communication is necessary to management success.
—JAMES CASH “J. C.” PENNEY
Founded the J. C. Penney stores in 1902
Listening is something that goes beyond the hearing process—it requires concentration and attention for you to process meaning from words. According to Toastmasters International, there are four basic levels of hearing and listening:
1) Non-listeners are preoccupied with their own thoughts; they hear words but they don’t listen to what is being said.
2) Passive listeners hear the words but don’t fully absorb or understand them.
3) Listeners pay attention to the speaker but grasp only some of the message.
4) Active listeners are completely focused on the speaker and his body language. They understand the meaning of the words and the “message behind the words.”
When you actively listen, you allow new ideas, opportunities, and solutions to filter into your awareness.
I am enjoying a deeper sense of fulfillment when actively listening to someone, who then feels fulfilled as a result of being truly heard.
Without mastering the art of active listening, not only will it take you longer to be successful, but you will impose limits on your ability to grow, learn, and earn the respect of others.
There are two requirements to being a good listener. The first one is argue less and listen more. Have you ever had to redo something because that’s not what was wanted? Not delivering can be costly if payment is contingent on providing a product that your customer wants and will pay for. If you are a salaried employee, having to redo projects can be costly for the company and worse—it could cost you your job. Listen and repeat the request to verify that you’re in agreement and you will eliminate or greatly reduce those situations.
The second requirement is to be interested rather than interesting. Some people seem to think that always presenting themselves in the best light, getting your story out first, self-promoting, and flaunting your expertise and intelligence with words and comments is the way to successful relationships with others. But the road to success is actually paved with humility—that is, focusing on others rather than on yourself.
I am practicing the art of arguing less and listening more.
H
ere’s a great technique that I learned from Dan Sullivan in his Strategic Coach Program1 that will help you establish rapid rapport with another person. Ask them:
1) If we were meeting three years from today, what has to have happened during that period for you to feel happy about your progress?
2) What are the biggest dangers you’ll have to face and deal with in order to achieve that progress?
3) What are the biggest opportunities you’d have to focus on and capture to achieve those things?
4) What strengths will you need to reinforce and maximize and what skills and resources will you need to develop that you don’t currently have in order to capture those opportunities?
Asking those questions—and letting the other person talk without interruption—will enable him or her to go through a process of clarification and feel really heard by you.
I am learning to be caring and patient while actively listening to others express their feelings.
1 Learn more about Dan Sullivan and The Strategic Coach program by visiting www.StrategicCoach.com.