Michael and Tracy were driving along Interstate 10 enjoying the day. They were cruising with the windows down and the music up when a very large truck zoomed up behind them, swerved to the side cutting off another driver, sped up, and then swerved in front of their car. The monster truck was lifted about two feet taller than a regular truck, had huge tires, was painted black with neon green flames, had multiple bumper stickers in the back window, a row of six round lights across the roof, and a large scrotum dangling from the tow hitch. Tracy stared in disbelief. Michael’s only comment, “A person can say so much with their vehicle.”
Michael was right. You can speak volumes with your vehicle. The bumper stickers, the level of cleanliness, the items hanging from the rearview mirror… or the tow hitch. You may not have much choice about the vehicle you drive. You might drive the used one your parents bought when you were in high school, or the one your neighbor was selling because it was the only one you could afford. You might drive a van because you have five kids or because you must take your grandmother to physical therapy and you need room for her wheelchair. Even if you don’t have control over what you drive, you have control over how you treat it and how you adorn it. Throw out the trash, run it through the car wash once in awhile, and think carefully before you start adding accessories.
Your vehicle is not the only thing which relays your message. This applies to your home, your work space, your clothing, your hair, your body modifications. You may have to make due with limited resources, but you have control over how you treat your possessions and yourself as well as how you put what you have together. Consider the message you are sending to others: approachable, helpful, kind, grouchy, standoffish, angry. Are you sending the message you want to send?
Your message may not be coming across only in your appearance. It can come across in your actions and in your words. Do you stand with your arms crossed or spend most of your time looking down at your phone instead of talking to those around you? Do you say you like all people and then tell racist jokes? Do you start sentences with, “I don’t want to be mean, but…”? If you do, the message you are sending might be pushing people away. Without realizing it you might be saying, “I am a jerk. I do not value myself or others. Quality people should not associate with me.” You could be preventing beneficial relationships.
I am not good at hiding my feelings from my face. If I am hurt, angry, or frustrated, it usually shows. I realized a while back that sometimes the message my face was sending was not the message I wanted to send. To fix this I intentionally made an effort to send the message I wanted to send with my face and body language. No matter how stressful things were, when one of my co-workers or staff came to my office door I smiled and welcomed them in. When I am exhausted and just want to sit on the couch and zone out I make an effort to listen to the stories my kids want to share about their day. I make an effort to understand what my husband is doing at his job. Even though I don’t have the training to truly understand every bit of the code he is producing I can follow the concepts, learn the lingo, and keep track of what his new projects are for various clients. I want my message to be that I care – because I do. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own projects and forget to let people know I care, so I make a conscious effort to send them a message of caring through my actions. By sending positive messages I enhance relationships. By being aware of the message you are sending you can create a closer connection with those around you.
Find something you have, use, do, or say which you need to edit. It could be time to donate the weird shirt you have been wearing for 15 years or stop telling the really rude joke you like which no one else thinks is funny. Maybe you cut people off in the middle of their stories with one of your own, or you regularly post vague messages on social media. (e.g. Ugh, I’m so annoyed right now.) If you are not sure ask someone you trust to tell you the truth, and don’t get upset with them when they do. Only choose one thing. Do not stress yourself out trying to make half a dozen edits at once. To complete this Shake-Up make one change. If you are inspired to make another one afterwards, go for it.