Freddie had been working for a large corporation as a client account manager for almost two years. He was good at his job and a fairly nice guy, but his co-workers didn’t know him very well. He usually ate at his desk or met his girlfriend for lunch rather than eating with others in the office. Most of the time he skipped the company happy hours, picnics, and holiday parties, and he wasn’t particularly interested in what was happening in his co-workers’ lives. Freddie figured work was for working and all the other stuff was not very important. Unfortunately, Freddie did not pay attention to what was happening within the company either. He failed to notice he was not being assigned any new clients. Not even when one of his client accounts left or failed to renew when their contract ended. In fact, he was starting to enjoy the lighter workload and felt like things must be going really well.
When his boss was promoted within the company and transferred to another state, a new manager was promoted from within the department. Freddie wasn’t considered for the position. Several months later when the company went through a round of layoffs he was one of the first to be let go. Freddie’s new manager had worked with him since he started in the department, but she did not really know him. His client accounts had been dwindling and there was no other information for her to use in her evaluations.
Poor Freddie was totally zoned out when it came to his work environment. He did not notice changes in the company and he did not make an effort to interact with those around him. Had he made friends with his co-workers or spent a few lunches in the break room he might have learned about the state of the company and been able to request new clients – or worked harder to keep the ones he had. He could have shown initiative by offering to take on other projects or help those in the department who were overwhelmed. If he had interacted with the people around him the new manager may have been less willing to let him go.
Whether it is at work, at school, or at home we can easily get into the mode of just phoning it in. To succeed in our relationships, we need to change to zoning in. Watching changes in people’s behavior and attitude has helped me know when to offer congratulations and when to offer sympathy. It helps me determine when to pass them a tissue and when to bust out the snacks I usually keep in my bag. In turn, when I have needed a hand, people have almost always been willing to help. So, visit with the weird guy at the copy machine and learn the name of your cube-mate’s second child. Sure, it may not seem important now, but when one of them transfers to the new building and is asked to recommend someone to fill a vacancy they might remember how attentive you were and recommend you for the promotion. Zone in on the details of what is happening around you so you can avoid missing the subtle cues, like Freddie.
Surprise people at your office (or another group you belong to) with snacks or something else they would appreciate. Whatever you bring does not need to be big. The idea is not to show off but to do something nice. Consistent, small gestures are much more genuine than large sweeping ones. Try to find ways to build and solidify relationships with those around you by sharing kindness.