Before Sarah married her second husband she sat him down at the little kitchen table in her tiny apartment for a talk. She told him she loved him very much and she wanted to marry him but, she had two conditions. For the first condition she said, “I am fat. I will always be fat. Do not expect this to change, and never ask me to lose weight.” He agreed, and she went on to the second condition saying, “Never, ever leave me. I am committing to you for life and I expect you to do the same.” He agreed to the second condition as well and they have been happily married for over 25 years.
In her first condition Sarah admitted the truth about her weight and embraced her true self. She knew she could not and would not spend her life trying to change her body to suit someone else’s expectations or requirements. She would have been unhappy if she had.
To better understand Sarah’s second condition, you should know her first husband packed up and left only a few months after their baby was born. The pain of being abandoned by the person she expected to have as a life partner right after having his child almost destroyed her. Sarah knew she could never experience something like that again and remain sane. She admitted this truth to herself and to her fiancé. While harsh, for her it was necessary her partner understand how seriously she viewed their commitment and he value it just as much.
Once you admit who you are and what you need you can build towards happiness and peace. If you continue to keep your truth hidden instead of letting it show you will continue to be unsettled. Your character traits are part of you. Embrace them. All of them. Stop trying to ignore the parts which do not fit within a predetermined set of rules or expectations. Instead, be honest with yourself about who you really are – issues and all. Once you have honestly identified your traits it is time to admit them. Allow them to become part of your identity. When you accept all your traits you can begin to figure out how to use your assets and work through your weaknesses to reach your full potential.
I spent years trying to suppress my nurturing traits so I would appear more calm and casual. All the while the real me constantly wanted to check on people to see if they were okay. This is how I naturally am. I fix someone’s shirt tag if it is sticking out and I tell them if they have a booger on their face. I worry about my friends leaving the house without a jacket. After years of pretending to be cool and detached (with little success) I finally admitted I care. I want people to be happy and fulfilled. I want them to be comfortable and secure. After accepting my true nature, I realized my calling was to share this compassion with others and I turned it into my career. Listen to yourself. Admit truth. Have compassion for yourself and unlock your own happiness and peace.
Sleep provides renewal like nothing else. Drift off and let your unconscious get to work on solving issues for you. When I am tired I become overwhelmed so much more easily than when I’m rested. A nap is a chance to reset and rebuild both mental and physical strength. Even a nap after which I wake up confused about what day we’re on, is better than not taking a nap. Once recovered, I feel rewarded for taking time to care for myself. If you can not fit a nap into the middle of your day, do not give up! Go to bed early one night or sleep in one morning. If you can’t sleep just lay still, relax, and drift. Get the benefits of resting and allow the rested you to be more forgiving and accepting of the whole you.