When his father was diagnosed with cancer Brett left a job in pharmaceutical sales and moved back home to help his mother. Soon afterward, the economy declined. Brett took a job working on commission as a salesman at a furniture store to make ends meet. One afternoon a woman came in and told him, in a very rude way, his tie was ugly. Brett immediately wanted to say something snarky and biting, but he suspected she was only being mean to rattle his sales game; to prevent him or any other sales person from speaking to her and trying to make a sale. Instead of following his first instinct Brett collected himself, smoothed his tie, and said with a genuine, charismatic smile, “Yes, it is an ugly tie. In fact, it is the ugliest one I own. All the others are at the cleaners and I am required to wear a tie to work, so today is ugly tie day. What furniture can I help you find?”
Completely thrown off and smiling against her best efforts not to, the woman admitted she was searching for a dining room set. Brett took her to the dining room set area and acknowledged her fear. “I know you don’t want someone hovering over you while you shop, I’ll wait over there. When you’re ready to purchase or if you have a question just wave at me, and I’ll come right back. Otherwise, I’ll leave you alone. My name is Brett.” He sold her a six piece dining room set. Two weeks later, she came back and bought a pair of recliners and a four piece bedroom set for her daughter.
When faced with a challenge you have a choice: make an excuse or make a solution. Brett remained calm when faced with a problem, recognized the core issue, and found a quality solution for his situation. He made light of himself in the face of an insult and then openly addressed the real issue – the customer did not want a sales person stalking her the entire time she was shopping. When faced with a problem, figure out the underlying issue so you can address the problem instead of covering it with an excuse.
This choice of making a solution or making an excuse applies when we are confronted with external problems as well as when we deal with our own internal problems. Often when people tell me about a situation they are facing, and specifically ask for advice or possible solutions, I find they are resistant to all suggestions. Instead, they seem to enjoy practicing all their excuses out loud. For example, I once had a friend ask me about solving her dry skin issues. We agreed on a good brand of lotion, but she claimed she could never find the time to apply it. She didn’t want to apply it after a shower because she hated the feeling of lotion when she got dressed. She didn’t want to apply it before bed because she didn’t want the feeling of lotion on the sheets. She didn’t have time to wait for the lotion to absorb, and did not have any other time of the day when she could conveniently apply it. She seemed satisfied when I was stumped and could not come up with a solution which was acceptable to her. (I did not know about non-greasy formulas back then.)
We do what we practice, so stop practicing excuses. Start thinking of, trying out, and accepting solutions. Not every possible solution will work, but it is better to try and fail than to do nothing. When faced with a difficult situation I like to think of my very loving and totally no nonsense granny. She would have had a reply for any excuse I tried and would have tolerated nothing less than hard work and personal responsibility. If I would have told her I really wanted to learn to speak a foreign language but just could not find the time, she would have immediately called me out for watching TV instead of studying. When an excuse comes to mind, direct your energy toward creating and testing a potential solution instead of creating supporting arguments for your excuse.
Are you already coming up with an excuse for not taking a cold shower instead of creating a solution? Taking a cold shower sounds miserable, but it really isn’t. The benefits of taking cold showers include increased circulation, improved immunity, increased alertness, and reduced depression. It can help calm your frustration and stimulate your brain. Here’s a little help with a solution for completing this Shake-Up. If stepping into a cold shower seems like too much of a shock, start with a warm shower and then slowly decrease the temperature.