After working as a chef for 25 years, Martin was five days away from opening his own restaurant when he got a phone call. His son had been in a car accident and was in the hospital. His daughter-in-law told him the doctors were fairly confident his son would recover and he didn’t have to come. They all knew how much time, money, and effort he had invested in his restaurant; she did not want him to miss opening night. Martin called his sous chef and they met for several hours reviewing the menu and the long list of tasks to be completed before opening. He left his sous chef with the phone numbers of his two closest friends and instructions to call them in the morning for help. Martin packed a bag and spent the rest of the night driving the 386 miles to see his son.
Martin knew what was important to him and what his priorities were. He knew how terrible it would be if his son took a turn for the worst and he was not by his side. He knew even though his daughter-in-law was trying to sound strong on the phone she needed support and someone to help with the kids while she was at the hospital. Even with money from investors, his reputation as a chef, and his dream on the line, the choice to go to his injured son was one he made almost instantly and without regret.
When you know where your priorities lie, seemingly tough decisions become easier. When you do not know what your priorities are and you are continuously trying to split yourself between two or more important parts of your life, you end up feeling frustrated or guilty most of the time. Martin’s priority was his son and family. Upon hearing their son was stable, someone else might have chosen to stay for opening night, get updates over the phone, and drive up a few days later. Allow yourself to be honest with the inner you and the people closest to you about what really matters in your heart. When you follow your priorities, you know you have made the right choice and those layers of guilt and frustration are lifted. Listen to yourself. Focus on what is important to you and start structuring your life so your priorities are being met.
Call, text, or email someone you care about but haven’t spoken to in a while. Listen to their stories and share some of your own. Talking to someone who is a bit removed from your day to day reality can help you take a step back and look critically at what is currently happening in your life. Sometimes when I do this the person on the other end of the line provides a new perspective, and just through the act of sharing my story I start to feel like things are more manageable. Other times I just listen to their stories. After hearing about what they are going through and helping with their problems, I can reevaluate my own situation and determine what I should do next.