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CHEN KEHUA

(1961–)

Like Yang Mu, Chen Yizhi, and Chen Li, Chen Kehua (Ch’en K’o-hua) was born in the coastal city of Hualian. He trained as an opthamologist at National Taiwan Medical School and has practiced in that capacity since graduation. In recent years he has been a postdoctoral research fellow at Harvard Medical School.

Chen began writing poetry in 1976, while in high school, and published his first book of poems, Whale Boy, in 1981, followed by eight more. His recent poetry draws extensively on Buddhism, often underlining the conflict between body and soul. In 1997 he published a book titled The Heart Sutra in Modern Verse, which juxtaposes verses of the classic Buddhist text with twenty original modern poems.

A prolific and versatile writer, Chen has also written fiction, essays, plays, film criticism, and song lyrics.

CLOWN SPIRIT

—WATCHING MARCEL MARCEAU

little by little I no longer believe that

he’s trying to please with his sadness—

the stage crowded with symbols

and allusions looks vast because

the swirling breeze of the imagination

gently triggers syllables in the brain

he says he’s lonely

he writes poetry, juggling soft signs

that leave even less of a trace than words …

he binds himself

he is carving time

he plays a game of tug of war with himself, miserable child,

it seems as if too much probing

has made him a loner, off on his own and

immersed in a game he alone understands

then he’s ripped to shreds

fought over by hordes of visible ghosts

he is tripped up by his own shadow

he smashes every mirror in the room

he tries to escape

he holds my hand, teaching me how to caress

there’s no escape … I agree

numerous silent thoughts

flash by in an instant—on stage

humanity is everywhere looking for a loophole

he insists on pointing it out without language

he shifts an enormous, invisible boulder on his own—

dribbling an innocent ball

he tells me that this is the planet on which we live

weary of Olympian tasks, he says he wants to take a break

and join the rest of humanity

(1983)

(translated by Simon Patton)

THIS LIFE

I see you so clearly walking toward me from my previous life

into my future

and into my future’s future

the present is all I have. each time I wake

from dreamless sleep

I worry I’ve missed my chance,

my chance and you with it—

how I want to go back to that second of error

freeze-frame the image

and make time stop:

you forever getting up to go

and me forever reaching out my arms

(1985)

(translated by Simon Patton)

NO CHILDREN ARE BORN IN THIS INSTANT (FROM “IMAGINARY EXERCISES IN LOVE AND DEATH”)

no children are born in this instant.

for so long in the infinite stillness not a single mystery has hatched—

deformed, remnant limbs droop from

a disorderly arrangement of vacant insect eggs.

I hear umbilical cords gather in darkness:

a snapping in two and falling

no desires are born in this instant.

I remain wide awake, torturing the flesh with

an extreme, wakeful tension like two adjacent internal organs

wearing away at each other fleshily day and night

and making my belly groan with obscure pain

right hand uncoordinates with left

wolf cries hide in my pupils, love

is sewn tightly into the muscles of my chest. no feelings of beauty

are born in this instant, the degeneration of an entire century

collects in the bags under my eyes

no voices are born in this instant.

those who once spoke

have packed up and left—

an inexplicable urgency closes in

I keep my mouth shut for this weakened, feebly pulsing world

should I burst out crying with tears of joy

for a silence so rare in the universe?

(there was originally no need for such tears)

and so there are no children born in this instant.

despair is like the extended description of thickened asphalt

the earth completely flat

breathing comes to a gradual halt in a place

far from the pillow. dark as a brick, night

shuts in and guards the already formed

you fill in the answers yourself

there are no questions in this instant

no questions are born in this instant

(1985)

(translated by Simon Patton)

BALLPOINT PEN

(FROM “INTERIOR DESIGN”)

even the dragonflies are dizzy, this sixth finger

signed obliquely to a paper surface

of pure white thought

turning and turning

like the blades of a helicopter unable to

take off, circling the thumb

but unable to raise intellect to the heights of spirit—

tired and irritable

and certain to roll off the table eventually

(1986)

(translated by Simon Patton)

BATHROOM

(FROM “INTERIOR DESIGN”)

according to the list

in good order he takes off his tie, ring, dentures

glasses, credit cards

and condom. till he is completely

immersed in transparency

in front of the mirror he becomes

completely gentle

world-caring

unable to debate or

have an erection.

(1986)

(translated by Michelle Yeh)

ON TV AFTER DINNER

on TV I watch a young father who

has taken out a mortgage on a house on a slope on some distant hills

mornings he wakes up smiling on slightly ruffled sheets, a dream of serenity

satisfaction in his eyes

I watch him exercising in the sunlight on that gently rippling lawn

his shoulder muscles supple, untensed; his breathing relaxed

he has just the right amount of epidermal fat on him. Welcome, he says. Come

and join us

his invitation is sincere

he flashes a set of sparkling white teeth

I watch another young father drive off in his car to

another far-off hillside

he has a very Chinese face, a very Taiwanese accent

a very Japanese work ethic

and very American consumer habits

he says: Let me give you a word of good advice

This is the perfect choice for you

although there aren’t any houses on the hillside yet

on TV I see the smiling wife he has chosen

and his altogether too beautiful son

the three of them sitting down to

the recommended daily allowance of calories and balanced electrolytes:

I’ll let you in on a little secret

the secret of true love

I lean forward in my seat

he tells me to wash with a certain brand of soap

and to use a new improved toilet paper

now on special

on TV I see a young father who looks a little like me

his hair is trimmed neatly at the back

he radiates confidence

Your shirt is a little creased, he warns me, and the style is out of fashion

You’re a little hunched over, and your mood is negative.

There are flecks of white in your hair, and you have quite a bit of dandruff. on TV

I see

the me I should be, a lover of tidiness

smiling happily and standing in front of a house

I own

You don’t still believe in those old ideals, do you? the man on TV asks me

in the forest of trees on the safety island

an occasional thin mercury streetlight shines

few cars travel the purplish asphalt road:

City, city. soon you’ll have spread all the way up here

he puffs on his cigarette nervously, a worried look in his eyes

unable to see the distance

on TV after dinner I see

(and finally remember) what that hillside used to look like

the long silvergrass and the patches of cinquefoil

in which a skinny brown kid from the neighborhood used to hide

leading his buffalo this way

he said: Poverty killed off many of the finer qualities I once had. …

yet prosperity has added such glorious miseries.

on the TV, I am convinced at this moment

that he has found true happiness—

this citizen of a subtropical island

who is also keen on physical fitness, public welfare, and culture

I feel a deep loathing and admiration for him

like I would for a brother who grabbed all the family advantages for himself

on the TV after dinner

from block after block of towering high-rise downtown apartments

a succession of young fathers hurries off to dispose

of the day’s accumulated information and emotion

before tonight’s garbage collection

inviolable, this city rhythm—Good evening.

Would you like to own your own home too?

inviolate, this adult destiny. every night

before the garbage truck shows up, all the young fathers rush out

to dispose of themselves

(1986)

(translated by Simon Patton)

MESSAGE BOARD AT A TRAIN STATION

A-Mei, A-Cao

I took the 11:37 southbound train first the fact is I don’t hate you

if the typhoon comes tomorrow

call me at (00) 7127#998*

father. my child, remember me

give birth to the baby first

Chen, don’t wait for me

my home is not in TaipeiECHO: ECHO

what I owe you

I’ve already found a job

after a long, long time, essence

clashes with phenomenon severely

may you come home soon

three hens and Chinese broccoli

are all fine

yours most truly will pay you back

(1992)

(translated by Michelle Yeh)

BUTTERFLY DREAM*

His love for me was arguably beyond ordinary friendship….

Without me, perhaps he would not have renounced the world and become a monk.

—Xia Mianzun on Master Hongyi

After all, I had to pass a life of utmost glory

before I could prove that all doctrines

are empty. I love your heart

I care for your form even more

such is our destiny. I am willing

to go through

a thousand, ten thousand

calamities, like a butterfly

losing its way in a tempest of blossoms

do I have to suffer like this each and every moment

cut off food, hair, thoughts

and must I cut off this mental flower of supreme beauty

so as to release myself

from the affliction of the tight chest and the dry tongue?

In the zenith of the sky a moon not quite full

like the branch I planted with my own hands, yet to bloom

a man of obsession, shallow in the understanding of the Way …

the butterfly bids spring blossoms farewell

it asks: how can you be so utterly unaware of your own beauty?

flowers live and die in their own way.

amid the living and dying of myriad blossoms

am I not just a man stealing a glimpse at their reflections in the water?

after all, a life is but a long good-bye

(may we be born and live together in peace and cultivate innate wisdom in another life)

so I leave behind love

so I leave behind obsession

so I leave behind sorrow

so I leave behind joy

so I

(1993)

(translated by Michelle Yeh)

SODOMY’S NECESSITY

waking from that dazzling night of the anus’s first opening

we find that the back door was only unlatched, not locked

the womb and the large intestine are identical rooms

separated only by a warm wall

we dance amid desire’s flowerings

limbs tenderly unfurling, feeling

that we are the start of a new breed

doomed in the face of the storm history is perhaps about to rain down on us

none of the unfortunate predictions uttered by the throat of Freud have ever come true

(we are the start of a new breed

exempt from poverty, sports injuries, AIDS)

allow us to bare our consciences and our anuses for your inspection

and under your illuminated magnifying glasses

you can examine how we writhe like members of the rat tribe

feeling ecstasy and agony

our body hair drenched in blood as if caught in a spill of dye—will we

have the good fortune to prove the necessity of sodomy in the years left to us?

the way things are going, we’ll be on our way home before the back door’s locked up

our bed lowered directly into the grave

the perverts having once again come to the end of their day of glorious deceit

no one knows what putrefying reasons lie concealed within the stitched-up wound

but at this point why don’t we just bleed to death?

(whoever says he wants to go and corrupt morals is the first to leave the group

there where the flowers grow profusely he brandishes his halo

he at least will never prove sodomy’s necessity …)

but the anus is only unlatched

misery constantly escapes from the crack under the door like

a light bulb blinking on and off throughout the night

as we embrace, embrace again, we refuse to believe that the ways of making love

have been exhausted

or that the pleasures of the flesh have been cast aside

but at this point why don’t we just throw in our lot with the silent and healthy majority?

why don’t we throw our lot in with the majority?

majorities are OK

sleep is OK

having sex is OK

not having sex is OK too

whether you tap it or push it open

the anus will always

remain unlatched …

(1995)

(translated by Simon Patton)

STILL

walking my twilight self through fallow fields I see

acres of withered sunflowers still tracking the western sun

with their proud heads

a lizard’s tail shed on a ridge between fields

looks like a lithe snake in miniature

it doesn’t stop wriggling

the whole time I watch

a kid from the village shows me a dead frog, long dead

he says: Look! It’s still moving …

waving unconsciously, those webbed arms and feet

look like they’ll go on for a long time to come

I walk on toward night’s most perfect phase

reaching into the dark to my heart’s content

the light of those stars still glows

but in that moment I realize they’re long dead

I make my pause in the dusk of the daily round

and listen for death’s performance still

head held high, I wave one hand

flapping it like the lizard’s tail

and put on a show in the amber light of sunset …

I know that I’ll still go on living, that we’ll

go through the motions for a long time to come

(1996)

(translated by Simon Patton)

*“Butterfly Dream” is based on the biography of the legendary Li Shutong (1880–1942). As a young man living in Shanghai, Li was a famous literatus—poet, calligrapher, engraver, and Beijing opera singer. He studied Western painting in Japan from 1905 to 1911, during which time he taught himself to play the piano and performed in the first modern Chinese drama staged by overseas Chinese students in 1907. After returning to China, he taught music and art at Zhejiang Teachers Academy, Hangzhou, until 1918 when, at the age of thirty-nine, he decided to become a Buddhist monk. Known as Master Hongyi, Li was highly respected as a great Vinaya teacher. Xia Mianzun (1886–1946), a colleague and one of Li’s closest friends, was a writer well known for his essays.