I’M ALL BATHED AND READY TO POSE NAKED FOR VANITY FAIR [BOLLOCKS.—ED.] WHEN I GET THE MESSAGE AT THE LAST MINUTE IT’S BEEN CANCELED. THIS IS REALLY RIDICULOUS. BUT I LAUGH AND PUT MY CLOTHES BACK ON. I WAS KINDA hoping to be the new Ashton Kutcher, but I guess the old one is still doing fine. This Python picture saga continues. When we were in New York to promote Monty Python and the Holy Grail we went to have our picture taken by Richard Avedon. In the limo on the way to his studio we discussed Avedon’s awesome reputation and what a great job he had asking young women to remove their clothes and pose naked for him. What sort of photo should he take of us? we wondered.
“Well, we won’t take our clothes off, that’s for sure,” I said.
We all roared with laughter. It was clear that was exactly what we would do.
That was how a rather puzzled but amused Richard Avedon got to pose four Brits and one American stark naked for a memorable photo. John of course wasn’t there. Later we stuck a picture of him on location in his underpants on the Avedon photo.
I ’m very much in favor of gay marriage. I think it ’ s about time they suffered, too.
My wife is not pleased with my tirade on modern marriage. In fact she is mighty pissed off. I explain that it is ironic and that she has missed the disclaimer about how adorable she is, and that I utterly worship her.
“I don’t expect you to say ‘Yes, dear,’” she says.
“No, dear,” I say.
“Fuck you,” she says.
The married men have enjoyed the piece and sit around discussing it in the bar. I think we’re all a bit lonely for our wives.
“The Marital State is like Poland,” I say. “It is constantly in danger of disappearing overnight.”