A yard. To the spectators’ right is a house porch with a door onto the room where Kuroslepov’s assistants live. To the left is a wing in front of which are a fence section, bushes, a large tree, a table, and a bench. In the background is a gate. It is a summer evening, after seven. The action takes place about thirty years ago1 in the provincial town Kalinov.2 Gavrilo is sitting on the bench with a guitar. Silan is standing nearby with a broom.
SILAN. Did you hear something’s missing?
GAVRILO. I heard.
SILAN. And that missing business is a load on me. Because of that, my friends, you assistants have got to toe the line with me, be home by nine, that’s when I lock the gate. And if anybody’s climbing over the fence at night, well he’d just better give it up because I’ll grab him by the collar and straight to the master with him.
GAVRILO. When you want to, you can really be a character.
SILAN. It’s my job. I could be told on, and who knows what he’d do? Right now I’m extraordinary mean, so mean, it’s awful!
Gavrilo strums on the guitar. Silan silently looks at Gavrilo’s hands.
Are you getting to it?
GAVRILO. I’m getting to it. (He sings to his own accompaniment.)
Neither Papa, neither Mama,
No one’s home, nobody’s here.
No one’s home, nobody’s here.
Through the window climb, my dear.3
SILAN. That’s a grand song.
GAVRILO. It’s really a wonderful song, you can sing it in all kinds of company. Only it goes awfully fast… you’ve got to watch sharp! See? It’s not coming out right, what can you do!
SILAN. What I think, my friend, is you’d better give up on all this business.
GAVRILO. But why give it up, Silanty? Just think of all the work I’ve put into it.
SILAN. And what you’ve gotten out of it is a lot of pain and trouble.
GAVRILO. I don’t mind the pain, but it’s true there’s been a lot of damage. Because the guitar’s a delicate instrerment.
SILAN. All you have to do is up and smash it on the stove, and that’s the end of it.
GAVRILO. That would be the end, my friend, the end. And all that money down the drain.
SILAN. On the stove, eh? And you know what the master’s taken it into his head to do. No sooner does he set eyes on a guitar like this than he smashes it right then and there on the stove! It’s really something!
GAVRILO (with a sigh). Only it’s not always on the stove, Silanty. He broke two of them on my head.
SILAN. That really must have been funny. We could hear the bang all through the house.
GAVRILO. It might have been funny for some people, but for me…
SILAN. You mean it hurt? Of course it would if he hit you with the edge…
GAVRILO. Even if it wasn’t the edge… But I won’t get after anybody for that, it’s my own head, I didn’t have to pay for it. But for those guitars I had to pay real money.
SILAN. And that’s the honest truth. A head can ache and ache, and it’ll heal up. But a guitar now, you won’t heal that.
GAVRILO. You know what, maybe I should just clear out of here! So long as the master doesn’t see me.
SILAN. How could he do that! He’s asleep, as he ordinary is. He sleeps nights, he sleeps days. He’s slept so much he doesn’t understand a thing, doesn’t see what’s right under his nose. When he’s just waked up, then what’s really happened and what he’s dreamed about, he gets them all mixed up, he just mumbles something. And then he gets straightened out.
GAVRILO (sings loudly).
Neither Papa, neither Mama,
No one’s home, nobody’s here.
Kuroslepov comes out onto the porch.
SILAN. Stop that! I think he’s coming out! He is! You better leave if you don’t want trouble. No, better stay. Hide yourself somewhere here. He won’t go beyond the porch, he’s too lazy.
Gavrilo hides.
KUROSLEPOV (sits down on the porch and yawns awhile). And why was the sky falling? So if it falls it falls. Or was I dreaming it? Just try and guess what’s going on in the world—is it morning or evening? And no one about, damn ‘em!… Matryona! Nobody home, nobody in the yard, the hell with ‘em!… Matryona! That’s when it’s so horrible, when you don’t know what’s going on in the world… It’s frightening. Was that a dream or what? There was a lot of wood stacked up, it seems, and devils. So I ask them, “What’s the wood for?” And they say it’s to roast sinners. Am I really in hell? Where did everybody disappear to? And how frightened I am today! And that sky, is it falling again? It is, it’s falling… Oh God! And now there’s sparks. What if right now it’s the end of the world! And no wonder! It could all easily happen because… there was a smell of tar somewhere, and somebody was singing with a wild voice, and there was a sound of strings or maybe a trumpet… I just don’t understand.
The town clock strikes.
One, two, three, four, five (he counts without listening), six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
The clock stops striking after striking eight.
Is that all? Fifteen!… My God! My God! We’ve lived to see that! Fifteen! What we’ve lived to! Fifteen! And it’s still not enough for our sins! What next! Should I go take a drink in any case? But then people say it’s at just such a time that it’s worse, that a man ought to go with a clean conscience… (He shouts.) Silanty, hey!
SILAN. Don’t shout, I hear you.
KUROSLEPOV. Where did you disappear to? Just when this business is starting up…
SILAN. I didn’t disappear anywhere. I’ve been standing right here, guarding you.
KUROSLEPOV. Did you hear the clock?
SILAN. Well, what about it?
KUROSLEPOV. It’s a sign! Is everybody still alive?
SILAN. Who?
KUROSLEPOV. The people of the house and all Orthodox Christians?
SILAN. Come to your senses! Go wash up!
KUROSLEPOV. The springs haven’t dried up yet?
SILAN. No. Why should they?
KUROSLEPOV. And where’s my wife now?
SILAN. She went visiting.
KUROSLEPOV. At a time like this she should be with her husband.
SILAN. Well, that’s her business!
KUROSLEPOV. Visiting! She’s found a good time for it! It’s all so terrifying.
SILAN. What is?
KUROSLEPOV. Everyone could hear how it struck fifteen.
SILAN. Whether it did or did not strike fifteen, the fact is that it’s just after eight… exactly the time for you to eat supper and then back again to sleep.
KUROSLEPOV. You say it’s time for supper?
SILAN. Yes, we’ve got to do that eatin’. If you get something like that going, you can’t do without it.
KUROSLEPOV. Does that mean we’re in the evening?
SILAN. Evening.
KUROSLEPOV. And everything’s the way it always is? There’s none of all that?
SILAN. Why should there be?
KUROSLEPOV. And I almost got frightened! What didn’t I think up sitting here! I imagined that the end of ends was starting. And you know, it might not be far off at that.
SILAN. Why talk about it?
KUROSLEPOV. Have they left the church?
SILAN. Just now.
KUROSLEPOV (starts to sing a bit of church music). But when… Did you lock the gate?
SILAN. I locked it.
KUROSLEPOV. I’m going to check up on you.
SILAN. Go take a little walk; it’ll do you good…
KUROSLEPOV. You and your “go take a little walk”! It all comes from your not keeping watch. I’ve got to watch out everywhere. I’m missing two thousand rubles. And that’s no joke! You save that up!
SILAN. And if you keep on sleeping, they’ll steal everything.
KUROSLEPOV. I can see how sorry you are for your master’s things! I haven’t finished with you yet… just wait.
SILAN. All right! I’m shaking with fright! You don’t have anything on me. I do my job, walk about all night long, and there’s the dogs too… I could even take an oath on it. I don’t see how a fly, let alone a thief, could get through. Where did you keep your money?
KUROSLEPOV. I didn’t get to pack it away in the trunk. It was under my pillow, hidden in a stocking.
SILAN. So, you can judge for yourself who did it! If you hid it in your stocking, then give your stocking a good questioning!
KUROSLEPOV. You don’t say! I ought to grab you by the hair the way our women rinse out clothes…
SILAN. You’re not the man to do it!
KUROSLEPOV. And there’s never enough wine either; whole bottles disappear.
SILAN. Then look for the man who’s drinking it. God spared me that pleasure.
KUROSLEPOV. Who would steal it?
SILAN. It’s really strange!
KUROSLEPOV. I’d think…
SILAN. So would I…
KUROSLEPOV (in a singing voice). But when… So you say I should eat supper?
SILAN. It’s the only thing to do.
KUROSLEPOV. Go order it.
SILAN. And what about the gate?
KUROSLEPOV Later. Now you…(He uses a threatening gesture.) Listen here! I don’t give a hoot that you’re some relative of mine. I want everything here, the doors, the locks, everything, to stay put. You guard it like the apple of your eye. I don’t want to be ruined because of you.
SILAN. All right, that’s enough! You’ve said your piece, so drop it.
KUROSLEPOV. Where are the assistants?
SILAN. Who knows?
KUROSLEPOV. If any of them don’t come back in time, don’t let him in; he can spend the night outside; just let in the lady of the house. And if any outsiders come, even if you know them very well, don’t let them in on any account. I have an unmarried daughter I’ve got to think about too. (He goes off into the house.)
SILAN (approaches Gavrilo). Come out, it’s all right!
GAVRILO. Is he gone?
SILAN. Gone. So now he’ll eat supper and go back to sleep. And why does he sleep so much? It’s because he has all that money! But I have to wear myself out all night long. He made his pile, but it’s me who’s got to guard it for him. Two thousand rubles. He can talk! Because I don’t keep watch, he says. If you only knew how hard it is for me to hear reproaches in my old age! What I’d do if I laid hands on that thief! I’d really let him have it!… I think I could tear him to shreds with my teeth! Just let him show up now, and I’ll go right at him with the broom… (Catching sight of Vasya, who appears on the fence.) Stop, stop! There he is! Wait, let him get down from the fence. (He rushes at him with the broom.) Help!
VASYA. What are you doing, what are you doing? Don’t shout, you know me!
SILAN (grabbing him by the collar). So, I know you! Oh you! You really frightened me. But just why did you climb over the fence? Hel…
VASYA. Don’t shout, please! I came for a little visit, it’s awfully boring at home.
SILAN. If you have honorable intentions, you can come through the gate.
VASYA. The gate’s closed, and if I knock, the master might hear.
SILAN (holds him by the collar). And just where has it been laid down that a man should go over the fence? Hel…
VASYA. Please, have a heart! After all, you know me. It isn’t the first time, is it?
SILAN. I know you used to climb over the fence before, but that doesn’t mean you always can. We weren’t looking for anything before, but now two thousand rubles are missing. That’s what comes of spoiling you!
VASYA. But I didn’t steal them, you know that yourself. So what does it have to do with me!
SILAN (shakes him by the collar). Nothing to do with you! Nothing to do with you! So, it’s me alone who’s got to answer for everybody else! Nothing to do with you people. All me! I’ll make you sing another tune! Help!
GAVRILO. Look, you’ve tormented him enough.
SILAN (to Vasya). Bow down.
Vasya bows down.
That’s more like it! (He takes him by the collar.)
VASYA. But why are you grabbing me by the collar again?
SILAN. Just to be on the safe side. Tell me, is your father in good health?
VASYA. He’s just fine, thanks.
SILAN. You see, I know why you came; only she’s not home, she went visiting.
VASYA. Let me go!
SILAN (holding him by the collar). She went visiting, my good friend. You just wait; she’ll come back. She’ll come back, and then you’ll see each other, so there!
VASYA. Stop making fun of me. Why are you holding me by the collar?
SILAN. Here’s why; shouldn’t I perhaps take you to the master?
VASYA. Silanty Ivanych, are you a Christian?
SILAN (releases him). Oh all right, God be with you. You can stay. Only it has to be on the up and up, for if you try anything, then it’s your hands behind your back and straight to the master with you. Understand?
VASYA. How couldn’t I understand?
SILAN. All right, so remember. I’d be held responsible. (He goes off and strikes on the watchman’s metal plate.)
GAVRILO. How come we haven’t seen you for so long?
VASYA. I was busy. And what wonderful things I’ve seen, Gavrik, things you wouldn’t expect to see your whole life!
GAVRILO. Where was this?
VASYA. At Khlynov’s.
GAVRILO. The contractor?
VASYA. Yes. Only he’s given up contracting now.
GAVRILO. Does that mean you don’t have any work at all now?
VASYA. What work! Everything’s pulling me in different directions, so I don’t feel like working. From all that money a man doesn’t want to go out in the world; I’ve been spoiled…
GAVRILO. But whether you like it or not, you’ll have to go to work when there’s nothing left to eat.
VASYA. All right, if that’s God’s will, but for now I’m going to have a good time.
GAVRILO. Tell me, what unusual things did you see at Khlynov’s?
VASYA. Miracles! He’s living at his summer home now, in his grove. And what doesn’t he have! In the garden he’s put in bowers and fountains. He’s got his own singers, and every holiday the regimental band plays. He got himself all kinds of boats and fitted out the rowers in velvet coats. He sits all the time on the balcony without his jacket but with medals hung all over him, and from morning on he drinks champagne. Around the house there’s a crowd of people, all marveling at him. And when he gives the word to let people into the garden to look at all the wonderful things, then they wet down the paths in the garden with champagne. That’s not life, it’s heaven!
GAVRILO. But it really wasn’t so long ago he was a peasant himself.
VASYA. Here’s how his mind works. As soon as he gets some whim in his head he carries it out! He bought a cannon. What more could you want than that! You tell me. Eh? A cannon! What more could a man want on earth? What doesn’t he have now? He has everything.
GAVRILO. But what’s the cannon for?
VASYA. What do you mean, what for, are you crazy! With all his money it’s something he has to have. As soon as he drinks a glass, right away they shoot the cannon; he drinks again, they shoot again. That way they know he’s honored above everybody. Other people die never knowing such honor. If I could only live like that for just one day.
GAVRILO. How can people like us do that! You pray to God you can have a job all your life, a full stomach.
VASYA. He’s got a gentleman with him too. He brought him from Moscow to look important, and he takes him along everywhere for that importance. That gentleman doesn’t do a thing, and most of the time he doesn’t say anything, just drinks champagne. And he gets a big salary just for his looks, just for having a very unusual mustache. That gentleman really has the life; a man could live like that forever.
GAVRILO. Oh Vasya, my friend! Who did you pick to be jealous of! Today that gentleman’s given champagne to drink, but maybe tomorrow he’ll be cursed out and sent packing. And he’ll be lucky if he has some money on him, for if he doesn’t he’ll have to foot it all the way to Moscow. But you, even if you have only a copper in your pocket, at least you’re still your own master.
VASYA. And he has still another adjutant, a man from around here, a man called Alistarkh.
GAVRILO. I know him.
VASYA. That one’s just for thinking up things, how to do something different, how to have more fun drinking, just so it’s not always the same old thing. He makes machines for Khlynov, decorates the flags, installs fountains in the garden, glues colored lanterns together. He made Khlynov a swan on the nose of the boat, just like a live one, and in the tower over the stable he put up a clock, one with music. He doesn’t drink and doesn’t take much money; that’s why they don’t respect him much. Khlynov says to him, “You have hands of gold, so go ahead and get yourself some money from me.” “I don’t want it,” says Listarkh, “Because that money of yours is wholly unjust.” “How dare you be rude to me,” says Khlynov, “I’ll send you packing.” But Alistarkh comes right back at him, “Send me packing, I won’t cry over it, I’ve had enough of you fools in my life.” And it’s as if they’re chewing each other out. But Alistarkh isn’t at all afraid of him; he’s rude to him and tells him off straight to his face. And Khlynov even loves him for that. Of course, it has to be said that even if Khlynov has piles of money life is boring for him because he doesn’t know how to spend that money for a good time. “If,” he says, “I didn’t have Listarkh, then I’d simply throw money around by the handful.” So that’s why he needs Listarkh, to do his thinking for him. For if he thinks up something himself, it’s all a mess. Take not long ago, he got the idea of riding a sleigh through a field in the summertime. There’s a village near there, and he got together twelve girls and harnessed them to the sleigh. What fun that was! He gave each girl a gold piece. But then all of a sudden he gets depressed. “I don’t want to get drunk,” he says, “I want to suffer for my sins.” So he calls in the clergy and makes them sit down in the living room in proper order, all around, in the armchairs. He treats them and bows down to all of them. Then he makes them sing while he sits alone in the middle of the room crying his heart out.
GAVRILO. So how come you were at his place?
VASYA. Alistarkh invited me. They’ve done over this boat into their own kind of play boat.4 It’s a real boat, and it sails on the pond around the island. And on the island they have snacks and wine all ready, and Alistarkh acts the host, dressed up like a Turk. They played this game three days running, then got tired of it.
Narkis approaches.
NARKIS. I think I’ll sit down with you for a bit. It doesn’t matter that you’re not really my set. (He sits down.)
VASYA (not paying any attention to him). They go like pirates around the island a couple of times, and their leader keeps looking through his telescope. And then all of a sudden he lets out with a awful yell, and right away they land and are about to take plunder when the host bows to them and treats them all.
NARKIS. Just what kind of pirates were they, and where did they come from? That’s what I’d like to know right now.
VASYA (not listening to him). And the host speaks Turkish, everything just the way it’s supposed to be.
NARKIS. There’s also people who don’t care to talk with other people, and for that they can get a good beating.
VASYA. And they’re all dressed up in velvet, real velvet, Venetian.
NARKIS (takes out a red silk kerchief, scented, and waves it). Maybe somebody else knows how to dress up too, so that even a merchant would sit up and take notice.
GAVRILO. You and your perfumes!
NARKIS (showing a ring). And we can have sappires that maybe even merchants’ children haven’t seen. And about those pirates of yours, that’s all going to come to light, because it’s not permitted to hide them.
VASYA. Yes, and maybe you’re a pirate yourself, who knows!
NARKIS. And for that kind of talk people like you can get a quick trial.
VASYA. When I was in Moscow I saw the play The Bigamous Wife,5 and in it they shoot off a gun right from a boat. Nothing better than that.
NARKIS. I’ll be going to Moscow, and I’ll take a look. I’ll look into it to see if what you’re saying is right.
VASYA. And for this one actor they kept clapping and clapping their hands something awful!
NARKIS. Don’t be in such a hurry to tell lies. I’ll look into it. You might come out wrong.
VASYA. But our merchant, even though he’s not an actor, does look more like a pirate.
NARKIS (gets up). I can see you don’t have any smart conversation here, so there’s no point in my listening. Oh, by the way, I suppose I should tell you. I’m going to be a merchant myself one of these days. (He goes off into the wing.)
GAVRILO. Listen to the song I’ve arranged.
VASYA. Go ahead.
GAVRILO (sings with the guitar).
Neither Papa, neither Mama,
No one’s home, nobody’s here.
No one’s home, nobody’s here.
Through the window climb, my dear!
SILAN (from afar). Quiet down you, I think the master’s coming…
Kuroslepov comes out onto the porch.
GAVRILO (not listening, with great gusto).
No one’s home, nobody’s here,
Through the window climb, my dear!
Stretched his hand the dear, dear boy,
Whipped it was by Cossack lash.
Use the hallway, use the door,
Use the gate, the gate so new.
KUROSLEPOV (comes down from the porch). Gavryushka! So you’re the one who’s booming away. What kind of a hubbub do you think you’re making out here!
GAVRILO (to Vasya). Oh my God! Quick, take the guitar and get into the bushes.
Vasya takes the guitar and goes into the bushes.
KUROSLEPOV. Who do you think I’m talking to! Are you deaf or something! Bring that guitar here right now!
GAVRILO. I don’t have any guitar, Pavlin Pavlinych, may I die on the spot, no guitar, sir, I was just…
KUROSLEPOV. Just what, just what, you good-for-nothing!
GAVRILO. I was just doing it with my lips; really, Pavlin Pavlinych, it was with my lips.
KUROSLEPOV. Come here, come here, that’s an order!
Vasya runs away with the guitar into the wing.
GAVRILO. What is this! I’m coming, sir!
SILAN. What it is is that he’ll give you something of a thrashing, can’t do without that, that’s what he’s the master for.
Gavrilo moves, step by step. Kuroslepov circles around him and wants to approach him. Gavrilo retreats, then runs onto the porch and into the house, Kuroslepov behind him. Someone knocks at the gate. Silan opens up. Matryona and Parasha enter. Silan, after letting them in, goes out through the gate. Matryona goes toward the porch. Gavrilo, disheveled, runs out and collides with her.
MATRYONA. Oh you! Right in the ribs! Right under my heart! You’re going to get it from me and good, hold on there! (She grabs him by the arm.)
Parasha laughs.
What are you laughing at, what’s so funny?
PARASHA. I felt like laughing, so I’m laughing.
MATRYONA. You snake! You’re a snake! (Dragging Gavrilo behind, she advances on Parasha. Gavrilo resists.)
PARASHA. Better not come close if you know what’s good for you.
MATRYONA. I’ll lock you up, I’ll lock you up in the store room. And that’s final.
PARASHA. No, it’s not final. There’s a lot more for you and me to talk about. (She leaves.)
MATRYONA. That girl was born a snake! (To Gavrilo.) So where did you come from? Have you gone in for bumping people! Look what a mess you are! Looks like you got a beating, but it wasn’t enough, that’s for sure.
GAVRILO. You think that’s a good thing, don’t you, beating up people! A lot to be proud of! And do you know why it is they’re always beating up people?
MATRYONA. Why is it? Tell me, why?
GAVRILO. It’s from ignorance.
MATRYONA. From ignorance? Didn’t he beat you enough? Let’s go, I’ll take you to the master again.
GAVRILO. But what is this, really now! Let me go! (He tears himself loose.) As it is, I’d like to drown myself because of you.
MATRYONA. Great! Parasha wants to drown herself too, so the two of you can do it together and get yourselves off our hands.
GAVRILO. Well, I know I’m nothing special, but why take it out on your daughter? Because of you she has no life at all. That’s even rather mean on your part.
MATRYONA. You lowdown creature! How dare you talk like that to your mistress?
GAVRILO. You know, it’s that ignorance in you that’s making you so stormy.
MATRYONA. Shut up! I’m going to take away all your rights right now.
GAVRILO. What rights? I don’t have any. And why should I shut up? I’ll shout all over town that you’re a tyrant with your stepdaughter. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! (He leaves.)
Narkis enters.
MATRYONA. Is that you, Narkis?
NARKIS (churlishly). No, it’s not me.
MATRYONA. How can you be so rude to me! The mistress desires to have a tender talk with you, she now has such a desire…
NARKIS. Is that so! Anything else?
MATRYONA. You’re nothing but an ill-bred peasant.
NARKIS. So I’m a peasant. I don’t make myself out to be a gentleman. Just because you took me when I was a coachman and made me into a merchant’s assistant and steward, you think just like that I’m one of your gentlemen, how do you like that! But you get me that piece of paper that makes me a nobleman by birth, and then you can ask me for politeness.
MATRYONA. Why do you think in such an impossible way!
NARKIS. Maybe impossible, but that’s how I am. I was ignorant, awkward, coarse, and that’s how I’ve stayed. And it doesn’t bother me at all because that’s the way I like it.
MATRYONA. Why are you so cold with me today?
NARKIS. So I’m cold, that means I’m cold.
NARKIS. No special reason. I’ve heard a lot about pirates.
MATRYONA. What pirates?
NARKIS. They’ve shown up in our parts… about a hundred and fifty of them. They go about in gangs through the woods and on the water in boats.
MATRYONA. But somebody’s lying, they must be!
NARKIS. Who knows, maybe they’re lying.
MATRYONA. So what about it? Are you afraid, perhaps?
NARKIS. Now what have you thought up! A lot I need to be afraid!
MATRYONA. What did you come for? Is there something you want?
NARKIS. At the moment I’m in very great need of…
MATRYONA. Of what?
NARKIS. Money.
MATRYONA. What money, what are you talking about!
NARKIS. The ordinary kind, what the government puts out. What did you think, play money? I’m not a child; I don’t want to play with it. Give me a thousand rubles.
MATRYONA. You’re out of your mind! It was just a little while ago…
NARKIS. Exactly, it was just a little while ago. Only if I’m stating a need, then that means I have a need. Because, since I want to be a merchant quickly, without fail, that means I must have a thousand rubles.
MATRYONA. You’re a barbarian, a barbarian!
NARKIS. Exactly so, I’m a barbarian, you’re right there. I don’t take any pity on you.
MATRYONA. You’re robbing me, you know.
NARKIS. And why shouldn’t I rob you if I can? Why should I be such a fool to say no to my good luck?
MATRYONA. You’re so greedy. Don’t you have a lot already?
NARKIS. A lot or not a lot, but if I have this certain desire, then you should hand it over, no point in talking about it. Some joke that would be if I didn’t take the money from you.
MATRYONA. Oh you…Merciful God!… what am I going to do with you!
NARKIS. We’ve had enough of this, it can’t be helped! You should have thought about all that before…
MATRYONA. But where can I get you money?
NARKIS. That’s not my problem.
MATRYONA. But do some thinking yourself, you blockhead, think!
NARKIS. A lot I need to do that! What’s that to do with me! I’m to beat my brains out for you, how do you like that! Let the turkeys think. I’ve lived all my life without thinking; whatever comes into my head at the moment, that’s it.
MATRYONA. You damn bloodsucker! (She wants to leave.)
NARKIS. Wait, don’t go. I don’t want any money. I was just joking.
MATRYONA. That’s better.
NARKIS. What I really want is to get married to your stepdaughter, Parasha.
MATRYONA. After that aren’t you really a filthy cur?
NARKIS. And along with it money, the dowry, the whole works.
MATRYONA. Ooh! Damn you! Your covetous eyes should be put out.
NARKIS. So do me a big favor and make the wedding soon. Otherwise I’ll make a mess you’ll never straighten out. Whatever my heart desires let it have! And please, don’t keep me waiting. So there you have it, short and sweet! I’m not in the mood to talk with you any more. (He leaves.)
MATRYONA. He’s bedeviled me, how he’s bedeviled me! I’ve put a noose on my own neck. He’s drained my soul right out of my body. My feet can’t move. As if lightning struck me! If this girl could only be smashed down by a log somewhere I think I could make a vow to go on a pilgrimage all the way to Kiev.
Parasha comes out.
And where do you think you’re running off to?
PARASHA. Go quick. Father’s calling you.
MATRYONA. You go first, I’ll follow you.
PARASHA. I’m no drummer boy, to march in front of you. (She comes down from the porch.)
MATRYONA. What are you aiming to do? You’re not going to get your way; I won’t let you hang around the yard at night.
PARASHA. Then in that case I’ll go out on the street, since you’ve started the conversation. Even if there’s no reason for it, I’ll go out there. Go into the house, he’s calling you, you’ve been told.
MATRYONA. Even if I’m torn in two, I’ll have my way.
PARASHA. You’ve tormented me, tormented me to pieces. What do you want from me? (She steps right up in front of her.)
MATRYONA. What do you mean, what do I want? My first duty is to keep an eye on you!
PARASHA. Keep an eye on yourself.
MATRYONA. You can’t lay down the law to me.
PARASHA. Nor can you lay down the law to me.
MATRYONA. I have to answer to your father for you, you trash…
PARASHA. There’s no need for you to imagine what can’t be. You don’t have to answer for anything, you know that yourself, you’re just worked up by hate. Why should it bother you if I take a walk in the yard? After all, I’m not married yet! That’s the only fun we girls have, taking a stroll in the summer evening, breathing the open air. Can’t you understand, out in the open, my own boss, doing what I please.
MATRYONA. I know why you’ve come out. It wasn’t for nothing that Narkis was talking.
PARASHA. You should be ashamed to bring up Narkis.
MATRYONA. No, there’s no…
Voice of Kuroslepov: “Matryona!”
Oh why don’t you drop dead! You’ve worn me out! You’re driving me into my grave!
PARASHA. Why are you tyrannizing over me? Even a wild beast in the woods has some feeling. Do you think we girls have an awful lot of freedom? Do I have much time that’s my own? The truth is I’m always somebody else’s, always owned by somebody else. When I’m young I’m supposed to work for my father and mother, then to get married and be my husband’s slave, his absolute slave. So you want me to give you this little bit of freedom that’s so precious, so short? You can take everything from me, everything, but I won’t give you my freedom… I’ll fight for that to the death!
MATRYONA. Oh, she’s going to kill me! She’ll kill me!
Kuroslepov comes out onto the porch. Silan comes in through the gate.
KUROSLEPOV. Matryona! Why must I keep calling you!
MATRYONA. Calm your daughter, calm her down! She wants to kill me.
PARASHA. You don’t have to calm me down, I’m calm enough.
MATRYONA. What a family I’ve fallen in with, it’s like hard labor. I’d have done better to stay an old maid with my father.
KUROSLEPOV. Now she remembers!
MATRYONA. They loved me there, they indulged me, even now they’re all concerned about me.
SILAN. Shout louder. Almost the whole town is at the gate; maybe they think it’s a fire.
KUROSLEPOV. Take a broom to her!
MATRYONA (to Silan). God help you if you do! What I wouldn’t do to you… (To Kuroslepov.) You’re the one who spoiled your daughter, you! You people have one thing on your mind, you want to ruin me. Order your daughter to give in. I won’t move from the spot.
KUROSLEPOV. Praskovya, give in.
PARASHA. But what am I supposed to give in to? I come out for a walk in the yard, and she gets after me. What does she think I am? Why does she disrespect me? I have more honor than she does! It’s an insult to me, a bitter insult!
MATRYONA. Answer her, you hairy clown…
KUROSLEPOV. Silanty, I told you to take a broom to her!
MATRYONA. I’ll take a broom to you! Tell me, sleepy peepers, is it my job to watch out for her or not?
PARASHA. There’s no need to watch out for somebody who can watch out for herself! Don’t say words like that to me!
KUROSLEPOV. All right, that’s enough! Anyone would think we’re at the bazaar! I told you to give in.
PARASHA. You too say, “Give in”? All right then, if that’s what you want, I’ll give in. (To Matryona.) Only here’s what I’m going to tell you in my father’s presence… it’s for the last time, so remember what I said! From now on I’m going to go whenever and wherever I want. And if you try and stop me, I’ll show you what it means to take freedom from a single girl. Daddy, you listen! I don’t get much chance to talk with you, so I’ll tell you right now. You people insulted me, a single girl. My conscience tells me not to quarrel with you, but I don’t have enough will power to keep quiet. After this I’ll keep quiet a whole year if need be, but this is what I’m going to tell you. Don’t try to take away my precious freedom, don’t dishonor my reputation, don’t set a guard over me! If I want what’s good for me, then I’ll guard myself, but if you try and watch over me…it’s not your place to watch over me! (She leaves.)
Kuroslepov, head lowered, follows after her. Matryona, following him, grumbles and curses to herself.
SILAN (strikes the watchman’s metal plate). Keep watch!
Decor of Act One. After nine o’clock. Towards the end of the act it is dark on the stage. Gradoboev, Silan, Sidorenko, and Zhigunov enter through the gate.
GRADOBOEV. Tell me, old fool, are the master and mistress still asleep?
SILAN. They must not be; they want supper.
GRADOBOEV. Why so late?
SILAN. They’ve been quarreling all the time. They cussed each other out for a long time, that’s why they’re late.
GRADOBOEV. And how is the case coming along?
SILAN. How should I know! Speak with the master.
GRADOBOEV. Sidorenko, Zhigunov, wait for me at the gate.
SIDORENKO and ZHIGUNOV. Yes, sir, Your Honor.
Gradoboev goes off into the house through the porch.
SIDORENKO (to Silan, giving him a snuff box). Have some snuff; it’s scented with birch.
SILAN. With some ashes?
SIDORENKO. A little.
SILAN. And crushed glass?
SIDORENKO. I put in some, in proportion.
SILAN. But why should I take snuff, why take it, my friend? I’ve gotten old; nothing affects me, it doesn’t get to me. Now if you could just put in more glass to give it some strength… shake a man up, that would be something! No, to get my spirits high it’s got to reach my brain.
They go off through the gate. Parasha comes down from the porch.
PARASHA. It’s quiet… nobody… And how my heart is yearning. Vasya’s probably not around. There’s nobody I can while away an hour with, nobody to warm my heart! (She sits down under the tree.) I’ll sit down and think about how some live free, happy. And are there many of those happy ones? Even if there’s not happiness, but just to live like human beings… There’s a star falling. Where to? And where’s my star, what’s going to happen to it? Must I keep on putting up with things? Where does a person get the strength to put up with it all! (She becomes pensive and then starts to sing.)
Vasya and Gavrilo enter.
GAVRILO. Did you come out for a walk?
PARASHA. For a walk, Gavryusha. It’s stifling in the house.
GAVRILO. Right now’s the best time to take a walk, Miss, and for talking with girls this is the most pleasant time for the heart. That’s the way it is, Miss. It’s like some kind of daydream or a dream of magic. From what I observe, Miss, you, Praskovya Pavlinovna, don’t care to love me?
PARASHA. Listen, Gavryusha, you know a person can get fed up with all this! How many times have you asked me! You know I love somebody else, so why?
GAVRILO. That’s so, Miss. I suppose even in the future I shouldn’t have any hopes.
PARASHA. What’s going to be in the future, my dear, only God knows. Is my heart really free? It’s just that while I love Vasya there’s no point in making a nuisance of yourself. You’d do better to keep an eye out that nobody comes. I want to have a talk with him…
GAVRILO. That’s something I can easily do, Miss. Because from my feeling heart, if only in this little thing, I want to be pleasant to you. (He goes off.)
PARASHA. That’s a good man! (To Vasya.) Vasya, when?
VASYA. Daddy’s business is in rack and ruin.
PARASHA. I know. But after all, you’re alive. We can live, that’s all we need.
VASYA. That’s true enough…
PARASHA. So what about it then? You know in our town there’s an old custom of carrying off brides.7 Of course, it’s mostly done with the parents’ consent, but a lot get carried off even without any consent. People have gotten used to it; there won’t be any talk. There’s only one thing bad, my father probably won’t give us any money.
VASYA. Well, there you are!
PARASHA. But what’s so important about that, my dear! You have hands; I have hands.
VASYA. I’d better get up my courage and come some time to bow down to your father.
PARASHA. Vasya, darling, I don’t have much patience.
VASYA. But how would it be, really. Judge for yourself.
PARASHA. You’re free to go about, but just think, darling, of the things I have to put up with. I’m telling you right out, I don’t have the patience, I don’t have it!
VASYA. Just a little more, Parasha. Put up with it a little more for me.
PARASHA. Vasya, what I said wasn’t any joke, understand that! You can see, I’m trembling all over. When I say I lack patience, that means I won’t have it much longer.
VASYA. Enough now! What are you trying to do, scare me!
PARASHA. A lot you’re scared! You’ve gotten scared at my words, but if you could only look into my soul and see what’s there! It’s black there, Vasya, black. Do you know what goes on in a person’s soul when patience is at an end? (Almost in a whisper.) Do you know what that is, my boy, the end, the end to one’s patience?
VASYA. But my God!… What can I do! Don’t you think I’m sorry?
PARASHA (squeezes up to him). Then hold me, hold me tight, don’t let me go. The end to patience is either the water or the noose.
VASYA. There there now. As soon as our business affairs get a bit better then I’ll go straight to your father. And if that doesn’t work out we’ll go ahead without his consent.
PARASHA. But when, when? Say the day! I’ll stop living till that day. I’ll make my heart die; I’ll squeeze it with both hands.
VASYA. All that’s as God wills. We have some receipts, some old debts, to collect; we have to go to Moscow…
PARASHA. But didn’t you hear what I said? Do you think I’m fooling myself, just thinking up things? (She cries.)
VASYA. Come now, really! What’s the matter with you!
PARASHA. Didn’t you hear me at all? Was it just for nothing that I tore my heart from my breast for you? It hurts me so, it hurts! I’m not just babbling nonsense! What kind of man are you anyway? A good-for-nothing, are you? A word and an act, with me they’re the same thing. You’re leading me on, leading me on, but for me it’s a matter of life and death. For me it’s unbearable torture, I can’t stand it another hour, and you come at me with, “When God wills, and we have to go to Moscow to collect debts!” Either you don’t believe me or you were born such no-good trash that you’re not worth looking at, let alone loving.
VASYA. But what’s gotten into you? All of a sudden…
PARASHA. Oh God, why this punishment! What a boy, what a crybaby I’m stuck with! You talk as if you’re being put upon. You look at me as if you’re stealing something. Or is it possible you don’t love me, that you’re deceiving me? It makes me sick to look at you, it only makes me lose heart. (She wants to go.)
VASYA. Wait, Parasha, wait!
PARASHA (stops). So then! You’ve finally decided something. Thank God! It’s about time!
VASYA. But why are you going off angry like this? Is that the way to say good-bye? Really now! (He embraces her.)
PARASHA. All right, say something. Oh my darling boy!
VASYA. So when can I come see you? We could have a talk, a good talk.
PARASHA (pushes him away). I thought you meant business. You’re worse than a girl, get lost! It’s clear I have to look out for myself. Never again will I put my hopes in other people. I’ll make a pledge, to do whatever I decide for myself. At least I won’t have anyone to complain about. (She goes off into the house.)
Gavrilo comes up to Vasya.
GAVRILO. Did you get to talk with her?
VASYA (scratching the nape of his neck). I talked with her.
GAVRILO. How pleasant it must be in weather like this, in the evening, to talk with a girl about love! What does a man feel at such a time? I think that it must be like music playing in his soul. As a bystander I was glad you were talking with Praskovya Pavlinovna. How did it go for you?
VASYA. It was all right! She’s just a bit angry today.
GAVRILO. Anyone would get angry from the kind of life she has. Just don’t cause her any grief! Put me in your place and if she said to me, “Dance, Gavrilo,” I’d dance… go to the bottom of the river, I’d go to the bottom. Whatever you want, my dear, whatever you want. Tell me, Vasya, what’s the secret? Why do girls love one fellow while they can’t love another for anything in the world?
VASYA. The fellow has to look impressive, be handsome.
GAVRILO. Yes, yes, yes. That’s it, that’s it.
VASYA. That’s the first thing. And the second thing is he has to know how to talk.
GAVRILO. What should he talk about, my friend?
VASYA. Anything at all, just so he’s free and easy.
GAVRILO. But with me, friend, as soon as I like a girl, right off she becomes dear to me and I start to feel sorry for her. And that’s the end for me, all the free and easy talk is gone. Even if a girl has good parents, for some reason or other I’m still sorry for her. But if she has bad parents, then it stands to reason every second my heart aches for her for fear somebody will do her some wrong. And at night I get to thinking that if I got married how much I’d protect my wife. How I’d love her and do everything in the world for her, not just what she’d like but even more, how I’d try to make things pleasant for her in any way I could. That would make me glad because so many of our women are put down and neglected; there isn’t any man, even the most worthless, who doesn’t consider a woman lower than himself. So I’d manage to make at least one woman happy. And I’d be glad in my heart that at least one woman would be living to her delight without being hurt.
VASYA. What can anyone make of all this? Why are you thinking up such stuff? What will it lead to? I can’t make head or tail of it.
GAVRILO. What don’t you understand? I’ve made it all clear to you. But here’s the bitter pill I can’t swallow. Here I feel the way I do, and I’ll end up with some piece of trash, a girl not worth loving, but I’ll love her anyway. While scalawags like you get the good ones.
VASYA. Look, do you say this nonsense to the girls or not?
GAVRILO. I started to, my friend, I tried to, only I’m so shy I can’t get any of it out right, all I do is mumble something. And then I get all embarrassed…
VASYA. And what kind of answer do they give you?
GAVRILO. What you’d expect, they laugh.
VASYA. And that’s because that kind of talk is low and common. You’ve got to say something inspired. When do you think Parasha fell in love with me? I’ll tell you. We had a party one night, only I’d gotten a little drunk the day before, and that morning I’d had an argument with my father, so all day long I’d been in a bad mood. I come to the party, and sit there quiet as if I’m mad and upset by something. Then all of a sudden I take up my guitar, and since I’m feeling so bad from arguing with Daddy, I sing this song with a lot of feeling:
O raven black, why winds your flight,
Why o’er my head your plumage soars?
Upon your prey you’ll ne’er alight;
I’m not your friend, no, I’m not yours!
Just look beyond that bush so green!
Keep watch lest something loudly roars;
My pistol’s loaded, barrel’s clean!
I’m not your friend, no, I’m not yours!8
Then I stopped with the guitar and went home. She told me later, “That’s when you shot right through my heart!” And it’s no wonder because I had some heroism in me. But what is it you’re saying? Some kind of gloomy words that aren’t interesting at all. But you wait, one of these days I’ll teach you how to talk with those girls and what sort of mood to be in. What you’re doing now is just a waste of time. Now I’ve got to find my way out of here! It’s no good going past Silan, I’ll go over the fence again. Good-bye. (He goes toward the fence.)
On the porch appear Kuroslepov, Gradoboev, Matryona, and the maidservant.
GAVRILO. Where are you going! Come back! The master and mistress came out, they’ll see you, danger! Let’s hide in the bushes till they leave.
They hide in the bushes.
KUROSLEPOV. Serapion Mardaryich, let’s you and I have a drink now under the tree. (To the maidservant.) Serve us something under the tree.
GRADOBOEV. Let’s have a drink under the tree.
MATRYONA. Why can’t you two stay still in one place!
KUROSLEPOV (to his wife). Scat, cat, under the bench! (To Gradoboev.) So tell me how it was you fought with all those Turks.
GRADOBOEV. The way I fought was very simple. And how many forts we took from them!
MATRYONA. You couldn’t be telling lies, maybe?
KUROSLEPOV. Scat cat, I just told you!
MATRYONA. Why do you keep on with that crazy cat business?
KUROSLEPOV. Don’t let it get to you, Serapion Mardaryich, God have mercy! Just don’t look at her, turn your back on her, let her howl at the wind. So tell me how you took those forts.
GRADOBOEV. We took them with our hands. Your Turk is very brave, but his spirits don’t stay up long, and he doesn’t understand his military oath, how he’s supposed to keep it. So when he stands sentry duty they straightaway chain him to a cannon or something so he won’t run away. But when they first come out of the fort that’s the time to stay away from them; that’s when they each take a glass of opirum.
KUROSLEPOV. Opirum? What’s that?
GRADOBOEV. How can I tell you? It’s a lot like drying oil. He takes that, and right away he has all kinds of courage. Don’t fall in with him then, he’ll rip you apart with his teeth. But we found a way to handle them. As soon as they roll out of their fort in one big pile and they start yelling in that lingo of theirs, that’s when we beat a retreat. We keep on retreating and leading on those Turks more and more till that courage of theirs wears off, so that after we’ve led them a long ways all their brave spirit has flown away. Now our Cossacks come riding in from the sides and chop those Turks up. Here is where you can take that Turk with your bare hands, and on the spot he’ll yell, “Aman!”
KUROSLEPOV. He doesn’t like all that! But what’s that “aman” business? What’s that for?
GRADOBOEV. It’s their word for “mercy.”
MATRYONA. You say “mercy,” but I’ve heard that some don’t show any mercy at all.
GRADOBOEV. You’ve heard the ring of a bell, but you don’t know where it is.
KUROSLEPOV. Do me a favor, don’t encourage her bad habits. Don’t listen to her, let her talk to herself. If you give her a bit to latch onto you’ll regret it the rest of your life. All right, so here we are now after that battle with the Turks, and we can have a drink.
GRADOBOEV. It’s the usual thing!
They sit down and pour their drinks.
That’s the kind of police chief I am! I tell you about those Turks, I drink vodka with you, I look at all your ignorance and don’t make anything of it. So then, am I not like a father to you, what do you say?
KUROSLEPOV. No question about it.
MATRYONA. Wouldn’t you like some pie? Eat it and enjoy it, Scorpion Mardaryich.
GRADOBOEV. Oh merciful God, where did you get that Scorpion! You’re the scorpion, I’m Serapion.
MATRYONA. Why take it out on me? I didn’t christen you! Is it my fault, what they named you? No matter how I twist my tongue it always comes out that same old scorpion.
GRADOBOEV. Look, dear lady, I think it would be a good thing if you go take a look at what’s going on in the house. It’s a lot better when you see to things yourself.
MATRYONA. Stop trying to play the devil’s tricks on me! I’m no stupider than you even if I haven’t been in Turkey land. I can see you want to drive me away, so now I’m going to stay.
KUROSLEPOV. Don’t pay any attention to her! What’s the attraction! I don’t understand it… Talking with a woman is the worst thing you can do. If only I didn’t have this money business! Drink up.
They drink.
GRADOBOEV. So what about that money of yours? What are you going to do about it?
KUROSLEPOV. No use crying over spilt milk.
GRADOBOEV. Where did you keep the money?
KUROSLEPOV. I kept it in the closet, it’s so dark in there. Besides me and the wife nobody ever goes there.
GRADOBOEV. There’s nobody you suspect?
KUROSLEPOV. Why sin? I don’t suspect anyone.
GRADOBOEV. Well, we’ve got to have some interrogating.
MATRYONA. Of course, how could you do without your in terror hating!
GRADOBOEV. Has to be done.
MATRYONA. And I’m supposed to let you carry on your disgraces in my home.
GRADOBOEV. It’s not likely we’ll ask your permission.
MATRYONA. I know why you need that in terror hating, what it’s all for.
GRADOBOEV. Of course you know, a smart woman like you. I have to justify myself or people might say there’s been a robbery in the town and the chief of police didn’t do a thing about it.
MATRYONA. Really! It’s not for that at all but simply because you’re a greedy man.
GRADOBOEV. You don’t say!
KUROSLEPOV. Turn your back on her!
MATRYONA. All you get isn’t enough for you…
GRADOBOEV. That’s true, it isn’t enough. You know what kind of salary I get, and I have a family too.
MATRYONA. So I’m right you are a greedy man! You were born a scorpion, and a scorpion you still are.
GRADOBOEV (tries to frighten her). You and I are going to end up quarreling! I warned you not to call me a scorpion! I have the rank of captain, and I’ve got medals. I’ll either fine you for disrespect or throw you in the clink!
KUROSLEPOV. Give it to her good!
MATRYONA. In the clink? Are you in your right mind?
GRADOBOEV. And besides that I’ll challenge you to a duel.
MATRYONA. And now you’ve really frightened me! You can only fight with women! It’s no great sin I called you “scorpion.” No matter what you’re called, you still want money.
KUROSLEPOV. Don’t have anything to do with her! For a long time now I haven’t talked with her about anything, a very long time because I just can’t. All I tell her is: give it here, take it, off you go… nothing more than that.
MATRYONA (to Gradoboev). You have your in terror hating, but I have my in terror hating too. I’ll lock the gate and let loose the dogs, and then you’ll have an in terror hating. What you really ought to do is catch those pirates, and you go on talking about in terror hating…
GRADOBOEV. What pirates?
KUROSLEPOV. Don’t pay any attention to her!
MATRYONA. About a hundred and fifty men sailed in from the Bryn woods.9
GRADOBOEV. Along the dry shore… And just where did you see them?
KUROSLEPOV. Stop talking to her, better be quiet, or she’ll spout such nonsense you’ll only be able to calm her down with the fire hose.
GRADOBOEV. You’re the one who should stop her.
KUROSLEPOV. I’ve tried, but that’s even worse! There’s only one thing to do. Give her free rein, let her jabber away whatever she wants, but don’t listen or answer. Then she gets tired and stops.
They drink.
MATRYONA. Those pirates are plundering Christian folk, but some people here can take it easy and drink their vodka.
GRADOBOEV. Where are they plundering? Tell me that! And who’s been plundered?
MATRYONA. How should I know? I’m no detective. They’re plundering people in the woods.
GRADOBOEV. Then that’s not my jurisdiction but the district police inspector’s.
KUROSLEPOV. What can you expect from her? I’m telling you it’s just impossible to talk with her. You can try if you want, but I guarantee that after half an hour you’ll either go out of your mind or start running up the walls. You’ll kill somebody, a stranger, a man completely innocent. I’m talking from experience.
GRADOBOEV. So I see it’s time to bring you a little gift. It’s something I bought in Bessarabia from a Kirghiz Cossack.
KUROSLEPOV. Sounds very nice!
MATRYONA. What new brainstorm is this?
GRADOBOEV. It was braided in the horde, and the handle is mounted in silver with niello decoration. But I won’t begrudge it for a friend. And how useful it can be!
MATRYONA. You people are so smart! Your gift is a whip! That whip of yours costs a lot, only there’s nobody to whip, because I’m worth more than both of you put together, let alone your whip. Go ahead, bring your whip! We’ll take it! It might come in handy to use on some lout of a guest.
GRADOBOEV. Which one of your fences leads onto the open land?
KUROSLEPOV (pointing). That one.
GRADOBOEV. We’ll have to measure how far it is from the house.
KUROSLEPOV. What for?
GRADOBOEV. To do things in order.
KUROSLEPOV. In that case, all right.
GRADOBOEV. Let’s count the steps, you from the house and me from the fence, then we’ll come together. (He goes off toward the fence.)
KUROSLEPOV. Here we go. (He goes off toward the house.)
MATRYONA. Step away, you two. You’re lucky it’s dark so nobody will laugh at you.
GRADOBOEV (comes from the fence). One, two, three…
KUROSLEPOV (comes from the house). First, second, third… wait a minute; I’m off course, let’s start again.
Each goes back to his former place, and gradually they approach each other.
GRADOBOEV (stumbling onto Vasya). Stop! Who’s this? (He grabs Vasya by the collar.) Sidorenko! Zhigunov!
KUROSLEPOV (stumbling onto Gavrilo, who trips him and runs away.) Oh, he’s killed me! Oh, he’s killed me! Help! Grab him!
Silan runs in, followed by the two policemen and some laborers.
MATRYONA. Oh, the pirates! Help! They’re killing people!
SILAN. Where are they?
MATRYONA. Over there in the bushes. They’re killing the master! Oh, help!
GRADOBOEV (to the policemen). Tie him up, twist the cord on him, the robber! So you want to steal, you want to steal, eh? And in my town at that? Oh ho ho!
The policemen tie up Vasya.
SILAN (grabbing Kuroslepov). No, you can sing any tune you want, but this time I’ve got you! It’s my hands you’ve fallen into! Why should I suffer just because of you and be under suspicion…
KUROSLEPOV. Who do you think you’ve got, who? It’s your master, that’s who! Watch what you’re doing.
SILAN. None of your tricks! You can’t fool me! I’m not getting into trouble because of you.
GRADOBOEV (to Silan). Drag him over here! Somebody get a light!
SILAN (to a yardkeeper). Run into the assistants’ room and bring a lantern.
The laborer leaves.
KUROSLEPOV. So you’re in cahoots with the robbers! You’re against your master, and a relative at that!
MATRYONA. Are there many pirates there?
SILAN. No one’ll get away, they’re all here. Hold them, brothers. Where did I put my rope? (He puts his hand into his boot.)
MATRYONA. All? A hundred and fifty! Help! They’ll make mince meat of everyone, and then they’ll get to me. (She falls onto the bench.)
GRADOBOEV. Tie them up! Oh ho ho! And in my town! You couldn’t find another place!
KUROSLEPOV. Hold on, just let me free my hands, you’ll get a lot of…
The laborer brings a lantern and puts it on the table.
GRADOBOEV. Bring them here. We’ll have the questioning right now. Ooh, am I tired! That’s what our work is like! (He tries to sit down on the bench.) Now what! Something soft here! A dead body? (He feels with his hands.) More trouble! What a life! Not a moment’s rest.
MATRYONA. Oh, now they’ve gotten to me!
GRADOBOEV. Ah, that woman! You again? (He takes her by the arm.)
MATRYONA. Whatever you do, don’t kill me and don’t touch my white body!
GRADOBOEV. All right, a lot anyone would want to do that! Well, I never! Get into the house you, that’s an order! (He stamps his feet.) What right do you have to interfere with the due process of law? (He sits down on the bench.) I’m carrying out my duties, I’ll have you arrested right now.
Matryona leaves.
SILAN (drags Kuroslepov with the help of the other yardkeepers). Here we are, Your High… Oh hell! It really is him, it’s the master.
KUROSLEPOV. Are you people crazy! (He tears himself away and grabs Silan by the collar.) Serapion Mardaryich! Chief of Police! Try him! I beg you, try him right now! (To Silan.) You ought to get every punishment in the book because of what you’ve done to a merchant who’s been exalted by society for his donations and his splendor… Your provider too… and you tied his hands in public, that’s what you did to me! Now all my honors are as good as nothing…
GRADOBOEV. Don’t worry! Nobody’s going to get away. Sit down.
SILAN. Who’d have thought it? How do you like that! And you were scolding me for not keeping a good watch! Well, I was doing it, wasn’t I? As much as was in me, and it wore me out. And see how unharmed you are! Besides… it wasn’t really my fault, it was dark.
GRADOBOEV. All right, you people can straighten that out later. Bring the real thief here.
The policemen bring Vasya.
Who are you?
KUROSLEPOV. Why it’s Vasya!
GRADOBOEV. So why, my dear friend, have you gone in for stealing?
KUROSLEPOV. Yes, he has to be the one, because his father’s business is ruined…
GRADOBOEV (to Kuroslepov). You want to do the questioning? I haven’t been doing my job perhaps? Then you put on my uniform, and I’ll put in for retirement.
KUROSLEPOV. All right, you don’t have to get mad!
GRADOBOEV (to Vasya). So how about it, dear friend?
VASYA. But please, Serapion Mardaryich! You can’t say you don’t know me and my father!
GRADOBOEV. Hold on there! You just answer my question. Why is it you’ve gone in for stealing? Did you take a liking to the trade? Or did you find it very profitable?
VASYA. But please, I, to tell the truth, came to pay a visit, and I naturally wanted to hide from Pavlin Pavlinych, because he always goes after my hair… From childhood up I’ve never had any desire to steal… Even if it’s some little thing, if it’s somebody else’s, I don’t want it.
GRADOBOEV. Are you in this business alone or is somebody in it with you?
VASYA. I don’t care what you say, I’m not in this business, sir.
KUROSLEPOV. Really now! What kind of trial is this! Do you expect him to confess? And even if he does, the money’s gone! Where does it ever happen, and especially among us, that stolen money’s been found! So there’s no point in searching and nothing to have a trial about.
GRADOBOEV. No, don’t talk like that! You’ll answer for it!
KUROSLEPOV. What’s there to answer for! You find the money, then I’ll answer for it.
GRADOBOEV. Don’t get me worked up! Don’t aggravate me! If I set out to find that money, I’ll find it. Now you’ve touched me to the quick.
KUROSLEPOV. Go on, look for it! If you find it, you’ll be right, and I’ll be wrong. But what we can do is just send him off as an army recruit from the commune. He and his father are ruined in business, so he’s loitering around with no work… so that’s the end of the matter. We’ll send him off this week, but meanwhile he can stay in jail as a suspect.
GRADOBOEV. Good enough. He can stay there meanwhile. (To the policemen.) Take him off to jail.
VASYA. But please, what for!
GRADOBOEV. March! No back talk!
The policemen take Vasya away.
KUROSLEPOV. You should pray more… (To the workers.) Go back to where you belong, why are you standing there with your mouths open!
Silan and the workers leave.
GRADOBOEV. Do you think someone else was in on it with him?
KUROSLEPOV. Probably one of my own people. I’d say Gavrilka! Well, I can settle with him myself.
GRADOBOEV. So the business is all finished?
KUROSLEPOV. All finished.
GRADOBOEV. Well!
KUROSLEPOV. Well what?
GRADOBOEV. If the business is all finished, what comes next?
KUROSLEPOV. What?
GRADOBOEV. Merci.
KUROSLEPOV. What’s that merci?
GRADOBOEV. You don’t know? That means “I humbly thank you.” Understand now? Do you really think I should go looking for that money of yours for nothing?
KUROSLEPOV. But you didn’t find it.
GRADOBOEV. You want me to find it yet! If I had found it, I wouldn’t be talking to you this way. Do you think I’m a little boy, to go about nights catching robbers at the risk of my life! I’m a man who was wounded!
KUROSLEPOV. But after all, you just happened to be coming by and dropped in for a drink of vodka.
GRADOBOEV. Vodka is vodka, and friendship is friendship, but don’t you lose sight of proper order! You know you wouldn’t sell anything without a profit. Well then, I’ve worked out my own system of getting a benefit from each case. So you give me a benefit! If I indulge you, the others will take liberties too. You eat, and I want to eat too.
KUROSLEPOV. Well, all right then, maybe tomorrow…
GRADOBOEV. Feel welcome to drop in for a cup of tea, only make it early.
KUROSLEPOV. All right, I’ll drop in.
GRADOBOEV (gives him his hand.) So long. Send Silan to me tomorrow. I have to question him. (He leaves.)
KUROSLEPOV (loudly). Gavrilka!
Gavrilo sings loudly by the window: “Neither Papa, Neither Mama.”
You’re off-key, you can’t fool me! Gavrilka!
Gavrilo enters.
GAVRILO. If you’re going to grab me by the hair again, then you might as well fire me!
KUROSLEPOV. In fact I’ll fire you right now. Silanty! Silanty! Hey!
Silan enters.
Throw his trunk out on the street, and throw him out too.
GAVRILO. But where can I go at night?
KUROSLEPOV. What’s that to do with me! My house isn’t a home of charity for undeserving people. If you don’t know how to live, then off you go, good riddance.
GAVRILO. But you owe me a hundred and fifty rubles in back wages.
KUROSLEPOV. Big deal, a hundred and fifty rubles; I’ve lost two thousand. A hundred and fifty! Or do you want to go to prison?
GAVRILO. But what’s going on? I’m a poor man!
KUROSLEPOV. It’s exactly the poor people who steal.
GAVRILO. Give me my money! I don’t want to die from hunger.
KUROSLEPOV. Try and get it from me. Oh, these damn people! Here I wanted to have supper, but now I don’t feel like it any more. And he talks about dying from hunger… and a hundred and fifty rubles! I wouldn’t let you give me a thousand rubles for this confusion. Come with me, Silanty, I’ll give you his papers. (To Gavrilo.) You stay here and you’ll end up in prison. (He goes off with Silan.)
GAVRILO. What a bolt from the blue! Oh Gavrilka, where can you go now! Wherever you show up they’ll say you were kicked out for stealing. It’s shame on my poor head! I’ve lost everything and been slandered too. What can I do now? A straight line, out the gate and into the water. Right to the bottom, up come the bubbles. Oh, oh, oh!
(Silan comes out.)
SILAN. There’s your papers. You’re free as a Cossack now. Myself, I think it’s for the best. Want me to gather your belongings for you?
GAVRILO. Please, get them for me, friend. I don’t have much stuff, it can go into one bundle; right now I feel helpless. But don’t forget the guitar. I’ll sit on this pile while I wait.
Silan leaves. Gavrilo sits down on a pile. Parasha comes out.
PARASHA. Daddy’s carrying on something fierce. What terrible thing happened to you?
GAVRILO. I can’t make it out. I’ve been fired altogether.
PARASHA. What do you mean, altogether?
GAVRILO. By altogether I mean that I don’t have a kopeck. All that work for nothing, and I’m off to the four winds.
PARASHA. You poor boy!
GAVRILO. Even so it’s not too bad for me, but they’re sending Vasya into the army.
PARASHA (with horror). The army?
GAVRILO. He’s in jail now, but in a few days they’ll send him off.
PARASHA. No! What did you say! Because of me they’ll make him a soldier?
GAVRILO. It’s not because of you but because they found him here in the yard and falsely supposed he’s the thief, that he’d stolen that money.
PARASHA. But it’s all the same, the same thing, because it was for me he came here. Because he loves me! Oh Lord! How awful! He came to see me, and so they’re sending him into the army, away from his father and away from me. His old father will be left all alone, and they’re driving Vasya away, driving him away! (She cries out.) Oh how miserable I am! (She grabs her head.) Gavrilo, stay here, wait for me a minute. (She runs off.)
GAVRILO. Where’s she going? What’s the matter with her? Poor girl, the poor thing! Here she is with her father and mother, but she’s just like an orphan! She always has to look out for herself. There’s nobody to sympathize with her in her orphan maiden grief. How could a man not love her! Oh how it all hurts; my tears are choking me. (He cries.)
Silan comes out with a bundle and guitar.
SILAN. Here’s your hat. (He puts it on him.) Here’s your bundle, and here’s your guitar. And so, my friend, good-bye. Don’t think badly of me; think well of me.
Parasha comes out in a cloak and with a kerchief on her head.
PARASHA. Let’s go, let’s go.
GAVRILO. Where, where are you going? What is this!
PARASHA. To him, Gavrilushka, to my dear boy.
GAVRILO. But you know he’s in jail. How can you, what are you doing!
PARASHA. I have some money, look! I’ll give it to the guards, and they’ll let me pass.
GAVRILO. You can do that in the morning, but where are you going to spend the night? (He bows down at her feet.) Stay here, my dear girl, stay here.
PARASHA. I’ll spend the night with my godmother. Let’s go! Let’s go! There’s nothing to discuss.
SILAN (to Parasha). You want to see him beyond the gate, is that it? All right, see him there. That’s a kind thing to do. He’s all alone in the world.
PARASHA (turning toward the house, she looks at it silently for some time). Good-bye, home of my childhood! How many tears I’ve shed here. Good Lord, how many tears! And now you’d think at least one little tear would drop, for after all I was born here, and it was here I grew up… It wasn’t long ago I was a child, and then I thought there was nothing in the world nicer than you, my home, but now I don’t care whether I ever see you again. You can go to the devil, my maiden prison! (She runs off, Gavrilo following.)
SILAN. Wait! Where are you going? (He makes a gesture of helplessness.) It’s none of my business! (He locks the gate.) What a life! Nothing but punishment! (He strikes the watchman’s metal plate.)
Square at the town exit. To the left of the audience is the police chief’s house with a porch. To its right is a jail with iron bars in the windows; at its gate an invalid soldier stands guard. Straight ahead is the river and a dock, beyond which is a rural view.
Aristarkh is sitting on the dock, fishing with a rod. Silan approaches and looks on silently. A crowd stands near the porch of the police chief’s house.
ARISTARKH (not noticing Silan). Just see how clever he is, oh, he’s the sly one! But you just wait, I’ll outsmart you yet. (He takes out the rod and adjusts the hook.) You’re tricky, but I’m trickier. A fish is tricky, but man is very wise, by God’s will… (He casts the line.) To man such cleverness was given that he is master of everything, what’s on land and beneath the land and in the waters… Come here! (He pulls up the rod.) What? You got caught? (He takes the fish off the hook and puts it into a fish pond.)
SILAN. That’s the way to catch them!
ARISTARKH (turning around). Greetings, Silanty!
SILAN. When you cast a spell like that… really… You know a lot of all that spell business, but I don’t know it yet, so I don’t catch the fish.
ARISTARKH. What spell?
SILAN. It’s a prayer, they say, or something, some kind of words. I’ve heard them, but didn’t understand. But the fish come when they hear them.
ARISTARKH. No, Silanty, what spells! I was just talking to myself.
SILAN. So what! If you know the right words, that makes it even better… It’s like prayers… You say the words with nothing special in mind.
ARISTARKH. Did you come to do some fishing too?
SILAN. Fishing! I’m here to see the chief of police.
ARISTARKH. What for?
SILAN. At home everything’s an awful mess. It’s as though Khan Mamay passed through… Some money’s disappeared… that’s the first thing. Then your god-daughter’s run off.
ARISTARKH. That’s not surprising! Anyone would want to leave there. Where’d she go?
SILAN. She’s with her godmother, I dropped in there. She told me not to let her father know… As if I’d want to do that.
ARISTARKH. But what about the money? Who could have taken it?
SILAN. You tell me! That thief committed one sin, but our master has committed ten; how many people he’s slandered! He kicked out Gavrilo, and right now Vasya Shustry is being held in jail awhile.
ARISTARKH. In jail? No! That’s a sin!
SILAN. Sin is right… They’ve committed more sins than there’s grains of sand on the seashore.
ARISTARKH. So what’s to be done? We’ve got to get Vasya out of this. Who got him in jail? The master?
SILAN. The master! He has the power, so he can do crazy things. Has the chief of police waked up yet?
ARISTARKH. Go find out.
SILAN. Why go? He’ll come out on the porch himself. He sits on the porch all day, looking at the road. And what a sharp eye he has for anybody without papers! Even if you had a hundred men all bunched up together, right away he’d look at his man and wave him over: “You just come here, my dear friend!” That’s the way things are here. (He scratches the back of his head.) But I suppose I’d better go. (He goes toward the police chief’s house.)
ARISTARKH. What goings-on in our town! What inhabitants! They might as well be Samoyeds! But even the Samoyeds must have better manners. What a crazy state of affairs! Oh my! God bless us! (He casts the rod.)
Gradoboev comes out in his dressing gown. He has on a military cap, holds a cane and a pipe. Sidorenko is with him.
GRADOBOEV (sitting down on the porch steps). “To God above it’s high, our Tsar on earth’s not nigh.” Have I spoken the truth?
VOICES. Yes, Serapion Mardaryich! Yes, Your Honor!
GRADOBOEV. But I am near to you, and that means I’m your judge.
VOICES. Yes, Your Honor! That’s true, Serapion Mardaryich.
GRADOBOEV. So then, how do you think I should try you now? If I should try you by the laws…
FIRST VOICE. No, why do that, Serapion Mardaryich!
GRADOBOEV. You speak when you’re asked, and if you start interrupting, I’ll give it to you with the cane. So, if I should try you by the laws, then we have a lot of laws… Sidorenko, show them how many laws we have.
Sidorenko goes off and returns quickly with a whole armful of books.
That’s how many laws! That’s just what I have, but there’s a lot more in other places! Sidorenko, put them back in their place.
Sidorenko goes off.
And the laws are all strict. In one book they’re strict, in another stricter yet, and in the last strictest of all.
VOICES. That’s true, Your Honor, exactly so.
GRADOBOEV. So, my dear friends, what do you want? Should I try you by the laws or the way I like, as God puts it in my heart?
Sidorenko returns.
VOICES. Judge as you like; be a father to us, Serapion Mardaryich.
GRADOBOEV. All right, fine. Only don’t make any complaint, for if you do make a complaint… Well, then…
VOICES. We won’t, Your Honor.
GRADOBOEV (to Zhigunov). Are there any prisoners?
ZHIGUNOV. We picked some up last night, Your Honor… for disorderly conduct… two tailors, a shoemaker, seven factory workers, a clerk, and a merchant’s son.
GRADOBOEV. Lock up the merchant’s son in the store room and tell his father to come and get him out and bring the ransom. Let the clerk go, and as for the others… Do we have any work to be done in the vegetable garden?
ZHIGUNOV. Yes. We need two men.
GRADOBOEV. Then pick out the two healthiest-looking ones and pack them off to the garden. The others can go back to jail; we’ll decide about them later.
Zhigunov goes off with the prisoners.
Do we have any other cases? Come up one at a time.
FIRST MIDDLE-CLASS CITIZEN. Here’s some money for your Honor, on a promissory note.
GRADOBOEV. Fine, very good, one business off my shoulder. Sidorenko, put it in the table drawer. (He gives the money to Sidorenko.)
SIDORENKO. We have a lot of this money piled up, Your Honor. Shouldn’t we send it off in the mail?
GRADOBOEV. Send it off! What new fashion is that! It’s our job to collect it, and we’ve collected it. If somebody needs that money, then let him come himself for it, and we’ll give it to him. And you want us to send it, Russia’s a big country! And if a man doesn’t come for it, that means he doesn’t need it very much.
The second middle-class citizen comes up.
What do you want?
SECOND MIDDLE-CLASS CITIZEN. This is a promissory note. The man won’t pay.
GRADOBOEV (taking the promissory note). Sidorenko, stick it behind the mirror.
Sidorenko goes off.
SECOND MIDDLE-CLASS CITIZEN. How come you’re sticking it behind the mirror?
GRADOBOEV. And where else should I put it? Do you want me to frame it? Yours isn’t the only one I have there. There’s about thirty of those promissory notes stuck there. If sometime I run into your debtor I’ll tell him to pay up.
SECOND MIDDLE-CLASS CITIZEN. But if he…
GRADOBOEV. But if he… but if you give me any more of your lip, then you’ll see. (He shows his cane.) Clear out! (Catching sight of the third middle-class citizen) So, my dear friend, you’re here! Debts to pay, you don’t have money, but for getting drunk you do. The promissory note against you has been stuck there behind the mirror going into the second year now. It got moldy a long time ago, but you keep on getting drunk. Go into the entry and wait. I’m going to put a promissory note on your back, and I’ll take out a payment with my cane.
THIRD MIDDLE-CLASS CITIZEN. Show God’s mercy, Your Honor! You know our means… show mercy!
GRADOBOEV. So be it, I’ll show you mercy, beat it! (Noticing Silan.) Hey, you there! Follow me inside. You and I’ll have a long conversation. (To the others.) Well, God go with you. I don’t have the time to try you now. Anyone who has to, come back tomorrow. (He goes off with Silan.)
All disperse. Gavrilo enters with a cloth sack on his shoulder.
ARISTARKH. Ah! The man who was kicked out. Hello!
GAVRILO. So you heard?
ARISTARKH. I heard.
GAVRILO. Where is righteousness?
ARISTARKH. You really don’t know? Lift up your head.
Gavrilo lifts his head.
That’s where it is.
GAVRILO. I know. But where should we look for justice?
ARISTARKH. Justice is over there! (He points to the police chief’s house.)
GAVRILO. But what if I want true justice?
ARISTARKH. If it’s true justice you want, then wait. There’ll be true justice too.
GAVRILO. Will it come soon?
ARISTARKH. Well, not too soon, but when it comes it’ll be good. It’ll judge everybody, the judges and the judged, those who gave an unjust judgment and those who didn’t give any.
GAVRILO. I know what it is you’re talking about.
ARISTARKH. So you know, why ask? Are you wearing that sack or going on a trip?
GAVRILO. I’m going on a pilgrimage.
ARISTARKH. A pleasant trip! Where to?
GAVRILO. To a hermitage.
ARISTARKH. Alone?
GAVRILO. No, there’s a lot of us, and your goddaughter too.
ARISTARKH. The one who ran away? They must be looking for her at home.
GAVRILO. No, her godmother sent word that they’d gone off on a pilgrimage and not to look for her. And who’s going to cry for her over there? Her stepmother will be glad she’s gone, and it won’t make any difference to her father since he’s lost all understanding. He won’t give me my back pay, a hundred and fifty rubles.
The chief of police and Silan come down from the porch.
GRADOBOEV. I’ll go crazy with this damn business; I can’t sleep nights now. It’s as if somebody stuck a nail in my head. But I’ll get to the bottom of it. (To Silan.) Now you just speak some sense, you dummy!
SILAN. I won’t say a thing, so there. It would be a great sin. This is a mixed-up business! Yes! Mixed up! Terribly mixed up!
GRADOBOEV. Well, and the master, before Vasily, did he suspect anybody then?
SILAN. His eyes were bloated, I say, bloated, all dimmed over. He can’t see what’s real, and because of his craziness, he just spouts nonsense.
GRADOBOEV. I’ll take you in hand. I’ll put you in prison.
SILAN. Just look! He’s thought and thought, and come up with something new. All from a great mind!
GRADOBOEV. Who do you think you’re being insolent with! You watch out who you’re being insolent with!
SILAN. This is all stupid and has nothing to do with anything.
GRADOBOEV. I can see you haven’t been in jail for a long time.
SILAN. Because that’s not where I belong.
GRADOBOEV. Be quiet!
SILAN. I’m quiet.
GRADOBOEV. I’ll make you talk, brother! (Advancing on him). Who stole it?
SILAN. If you try to scare me… then I don’t know a thing… that’s what I’ll say over and over again… You can burn me with fire… So that’s how it is. I’m telling you, you can look for an answer from a stone quicker than from me.
GRADOBOEV. You people are all barbarians! But you’re sure it wasn’t Vaska?
SILAN. How should I know? Vaska is small fry, you can pester him any way you want, but all the same, he has a soul, it has feelings.
GRADOBOEV. And it wasn’t Gavrilka either?
SILAN. That again is not my business. Gavrilka is an honest man no matter how you twist him. And do you think he has a miserable penny to his name? Not at all! But compared to some others he has a conscience… He has enough of that.
GRADOBOEV. So, then it comes down to you?
SILAN. To me? I don’t know a thing, that’s the long and short of it!
GRADOBOEV. All right then, to prison you go. There’s no point in talking with you any more.
SILAN. Even if you put me in prison it won’t change anything. So there… (Decisively.) I don’t know a thing… How could you try to scare me, an old man!
GRADOBOEV (running up to him and showing his fists). But I’m not trying to scare you. I’m using tenderness with you, do you understand, tenderness.
SILAN. But even with tenderness…
GRADOBOEV. You know, if you help me, I’ll seal the deal with something nice… say, ten or fifteen rubles.
SILAN. It would be easier for you to get a stone priest to give you iron communion wafers than…
GRADOBOEV. Not another word, you scoundrel! Show respect for the town’s chief official.
SILAN. What do you mean, respect? I’m showing it, my hat’s off.
GRADOBOEV. Listen! (He whispers into Silan’s ear.)
SILAN. Yes!
GRADOBOEV. Often?
SILAN. Almost every night.
GRADOBOEV. Well, listen. (He whispers.) You give the sign right away. Shout.
SILAN. I’ll do it!
GRADOBOEV. Only not a word to anyone or you’ll hear from me!
SILAN. All right…
GRADOBOEV. So go!
SILAN. Good-bye. (He leaves.)
Gavrilo approaches.
GRADOBOEV (seeing Gavrilo). And what are you doing here, my dear friend, loitering?
GAVRILO. Your Honor, I don’t have a job any more, sir.
GRADOBOEV. That’s bad. It’s the man without a job who ends up a scoundrel.
GAVRILO. Serapion Mardaryich, none of this is my fault. And it isn’t just that I don’t have a job; I don’t have a single kopeck.
GRADOBOEV. That’s even worse! Now you and I have an extra sorrow. My friend, I’ll have to look after you as if you’re my own son.
GAVRILO. Don’t abandon me.
GRADOBOEV. I won’t abandon you. I’ll keep both eyes peeled on you so you won’t steal a thing. For it’s when a man doesn’t have a kopeck in his pocket that he looks at other men’s goods, that’s when his hands itch. And people like that are dear to my heart.
GAVRILO. What do I want with other people’s goods! It’s my very own that’s not being given me.
GRADOBOEV. Not being given?
GAVRILO. The master kicked me out but didn’t pay me.
GRADOBOEV. He kicked you out? The robber! So what do you want me to do with him at this point?
GAVRILO. Show God’s mercy to me.
GRADOBOEV. I’ll do it. You wait till your master comes and ask him for a settlement in my presence. Then I’ll get satisfaction from him.
GAVRILO. And will that turn out good for me, Your Honor?
GRADOBOEV. I don’t know, my friend. Here’s what I think will happen. The master will curse you out, but you’ll insist. Then he’ll give you a good thrashing, and I’ll add to it.
GAVRILO. Then how can I get the money from him, Your Honor?
GRADOBOEV. What does that have to do with me? Any way you want!
GAVRILO. So I’m supposed to die of hunger?
GRADOBOEV. So you’re supposed to die. But who knows, maybe he’ll give it to you.
GAVRILO. No, he won’t give it. Not unless you order him to.
GRADOBOEV. Order him to! But first think of this, whether you’re such a high and mighty bird that for your sake I should have a quarrel with your master. I’m not about to grab him by the collar or reprimand him with the cane, the way I do with you. If I go and intercede for some merchant’s assistant what will all the masters say! The assistants aren’t going to send me any flour, or any oats for my horses. Are you assistants going to feed me? So, hasn’t your desire to go to court just passed away? If it hasn’t, you just wait, my friend, you just wait!
GAVRILO. I think I’d better…
GRADOBOEV. Exactly, you’d better… get going, and quick, or else I’ll give orders to detain you.
GAVRILO (stepping away and bowing). I’m going…
GRADOBOEV. Go!
Gavrilo goes off quickly.
Stop him! Ha-ha-ha!
Gavrilo runs away and hides behind a corner.
Ah, work, work! Now for the sake of order I’ve got to go down to the market! (He shouts.) Sidorenko!
Sidorenko appears in the doorway.
SIDORENKO. Would you like something, Your Honor?
GRADOBOEV. Bring a sack and catch up with me. I’m going to the market. (He leaves.)
Sidorenko runs after him with a sack. Gavrilo and Parasha enter. She is dressed as a pilgrim. Aristarkh goes up to her.
ARISTARKH. Why, my beauty, are you wandering about town?
PARASHA. Godfather, how could I get to see Vasya?
ARISTARKH. Why bother with him? Leave him alone!
PARASHA. No, Godfather, that’s impossible. It’s because of me he’s there, but he’s innocent. I’ll tell you the whole mess right away; I don’t have to feel ashamed with you. He came to see me, but they took him for a thief.
ARISTARKH. I see! Yes, it’s a bad business all right! But you’re the daughter of a rich father; probably somebody would take notice.
PARASHA. It doesn’t matter! They won’t recognize me. You see how I’m dressed and I’ll cover my face with my kerchief. And even if they do recognize me, what’s the harm! I’m not a rich father’s daughter any more; now, Godfather, I’m a soldier’s wife.
ARISTARKH. What’s that, what did you say? Wife of a soldier?
PARASHA. That’s right! (She undoes the bundle in the kerchief.) I’ll marry him for sure in a few days, and if somebody stops me, then I declare ahead of time that I’ll do something shameful, I’ll go off to him in the barracks. (She gives him money.) Here, take this money and give it to the soldiers on guard.
ARISTARKH. Are you out of your mind! Good heavens!
PARASHA. But what’s the matter! What are you afraid of? Am I not responsible for myself? Don’t be afraid! Why! My conscience is compelling me so this must be necessary. People have treated him badly, taken everything from him, everything… separated him from his father. Really! He loves me, and this might be all he has left in the world, so why should I take this last joy from him? Why should I be proud before him? Is he worse than I am? In any case, I wouldn’t stay single, you know that. They’d marry me off, Godfather. Do you think it would be easier for me to try and please some drunken merchant against my will? Not only wouldn’t I want to, but I even think I could murder him with a knife! But here there’s no sin, it’s for love.
ARISTARKH. Well, I can see nobody’s going to outargue you. What can anyone do with you! But what do I need with your money? I have money of my own, and you may need yours. (He gives back the money and goes off into the jail.)
GAVRILO (putting his sack onto his shoulders). Are we going to set off soon?
PARASHA. As soon as I get to see Vasya.
GAVRILO. All right, you two see each other. Aristarkh and I’ll keep watch so nobody sees you.
Aristarkh comes out.
ARISTARKH. The prisoners are going for water now, and they’re going to let him out with them.
Two prisoners come out carrying a tub, and they pass by on their way to the river. Behind them come Vasya and a soldier. Aristarkh and Gavrilo go off to the dock.
PARASHA (bows). Hello, Vasya.
VASYA (completely overwhelmed). How did you get here? Oh God! This makes it even harder for me! (He wipes away tears.)
PARASHA. It’s all right, Vasya, it’s all right! Don’t cry! (She embraces him.) I left home for good, now I can be with you the rest of my life. However you live, I’ll live.
VASYA. How can that be?
PARASHA. I’ll marry you, we’ll get married… it’s all right, don’t cry… He’s my husband, I’ll say, I can’t be separated from him, I’ll say… don’t pull us apart, I’ll say, you’ll do better to give us a church wedding.
VASYA. Thank you! (He kisses her.)
PARASHA. Well, that’s settled. Now let’s talk about our life, Vasya, my darling Vasya!
VASYA. Let’s talk about it.
PARASHA (squeezing up to him). In the army they’ll beat you a lot.
VASYA. I’ll try hard.
PARASHA. Try, Vasya, try! And here’s what to do. As soon as you’ve gotten all your training and been transferred from the recruits to a regiment and you’re a real soldier, then you ask the chief himself, whoever’s the most important, to send you to the Caucasus and straight into combat!
VASYA. What for?
PARASHA. And you try to kill as many as you can, as many of the enemy as you can. Don’t spare yourself at all!
VASYA. But what if I’m the one to get…
PARASHA. Well, all right, we all have to die sometime. At least I’d have something to cry about. I’d have real grief then, a most solemn grief. But you just stop and think. If you don’t ask for combat duty and they transfer you to garrison duty, you’ll start getting spoiled… you’ll steal from the vegetable gardens… what kind of life would I have then? The worst of all. It wouldn’t be grief, but it wouldn’t be happiness either; it would be a low and vile life. My heart would be in anguish just looking at you.
VASYA. I imagine they’ll send me to the guards, to St. Petersburg.
PARASHA. All right, fine, still combat duty would be better. Just imagine. If God helps you, they’ll promote you for your bravery to officer, and you’ll get a leave. You and I’ll come to this very town, and we’ll walk around arm in arm. Then let these villains take a look at us. (She embraces him.) Eh, Vasya? Maybe you and I, to make up for all our trouble, will live to see such joy.
VASYA. Why not, what’s so surprising, if a man has courage…
PARASHA. So, Vasya, I’m going to a hermitage now, and I’ll pray to God for you. I’ll pray all day, Vasyenka, all day long that God grant us everything you and I have thought of. Could my sinful prayer really not reach Him? Where could I go then? People are treating me badly… (She cries.) Here’s what, Vasya. I’ll come see you tomorrow. I’m living with my godmother now, and I won’t go back home for anything! As soon as I stepped over the threshold, could you believe it, I felt I’d rather go through fire than go back there. When I’m there I feel cold, as if there’s no light and there’s somebody to hurt you in every corner, it’s as if I’m being cursed there forever and ever, and I’m full of anguish. It’s just as if I’d been thrown into a pit, a pit. (She becomes pensive.) But never mind, Vasya, you take courage and get ahead of those others…
SOLDIER. Hey, you! It’s not permitted to talk with prisoners.
VASYA. Just a minute, soldier, just a little bit longer. (To Parasha.) You seem like some angel from heaven now…
PARASHA. So, my dear, good-bye for now.
VASYA (kisses her). Good-bye. (He kisses her.)
Parasha goes off and bows from afar. Vasya goes toward the gate with the soldier.
PARASHA (to the soldier). Oh wait, soldier, wait!
The soldier and Vasya stop.
Vasya, here is a little money for you, even if it’s just to buy a little loaf of bread. Good-bye, darling.
VASYA. But that’s enough now!
SOLDIER. Let’s go! What do you think this is! It’s not permitted!
PARASHA. All right, God be with you!
Vasya and the soldier go off. Parasha looks after him for some time.
Wait, soldier, wait!
Aristarkh and Gavrilo approach.
GAVRILO. Let’s go quickly. The pilgrims have just left town.
PARASHA. Stay away from me! (She walks to the jail, looks at the windows, then sits down on the bench by the gate and sings.)
I see my friend off far away,
A man exiled he’s gone to stay.
I go with him, we both go down
To stony Moscow, mother town.
The merchants there at us did stare,
Who says good-bye, what kind of pair?
Not brother’s sister, husband’s mate?
Or some brave lad’s most pretty Kate?10
(She wipes away the tears and comes to Gavrilo.) All right, let’s go. Don’t be mad at me.
GAVRILO (giving her a staff). How could I be! Here’s a staff I picked out for you.
PARASHA (takes the staff). I have to start a new life, Gavryusha. And it’s hard for me. You can say what you want, Gavryusha, but women don’t have the strength of men.
GAVRILO (through tears). There’s some carving on the staff. It’s very pretty!
ARISTARKH. Go, Parasha, go! The chief of police is coming with your father.
PARASHA. Good-bye, Godfather!
Parasha and Gavrilo leave.
ARISTARKH. She’s not my daughter, but I feel so sorry for her, so awfully sorry!
The police chief, Kuroslepov, and Sidorenko enter. Sidorenko has some sacks.
GRADOBOEV (to Sidorenko). Tell them to get some refreshments ready.
Sidorenko goes off.
KUROSLEPOV. You find her for me! That’s your first order of business! That’s why you’re chief of police here.
GRADOBOEV. Don’t you teach me. I know my job and why I have it. It wasn’t you who made me chief of police, and you have no right to tell me what to do.
KUROSLEPOV. If you’re going to let people run away and not pay any attention whatsoever…
GRADOBOEV. What do you mean, run away? She went off on a pilgrimage with her godmother.
KUROSLEPOV. A pilgrimage?
GRADOBOEV. There, you see? I know more about it than you do. That’s why I’m chief of police, that’s why I’ve been honored with an official position. But you’re a peasant, and it’s a peasant you’ll stay for ever and ever.
KUROSLEPOV. But how could she go without asking?
GRADOBOEV. Who was there to ask? Her stepmother wouldn’t let her go, and you sleep all day. But she has some energy.
KUROSLEPOV. Anyway, when she comes, you send her to me with a guard…
GRADOBOEV. A guard?
KUROSLEPOV. On a rope.
GRADOBOEV. A rope too?
KUROSLEPOV. We’ll lock her upstairs so she can’t get out.
GRADOBOEV. Just what kind of people are you? Why do you enjoy doing every shameful thing? Others are ashamed of doing shameful things, but for you it’s the greatest pleasure. Do you have any understanding of what honor is or not?
KUROSLEPOV. What honor is? I’ve made my bundle, there’s honor for you. The more money you have, the more honor you have.
GRADOBOEV. Well, the peasant will show himself! You’re coated with ignorance, like a tree with bark. And that bark couldn’t be broken even with a cannon.
KUROSLEPOV. So what!
GRADOBOEV. His daughter, unmarried, and he wants her led by a guard on a rope.
KUROSLEPOV. It’s because of… it’s for her lack of respect… so she should feel…
ARISTARKH. Poor thing!
KUROSLEPOV. Who’s that? Who was that talking?
GRADOBOEV. It’s Aristarkh, your daughter’s godfather.
KUROSLEPOV (to Aristarkh). Who is that poor thing you’re talking about?
ARISTARKH (bowing). Good day, honored sir.
KUROSLEPOV. No, who’s that poor thing?
ARISTARKH (with a sigh). A little fish.
KUROSLEPOV. So why is it a poor thing?
ARISTARKH. Because a big fish treats it badly.
KUROSLEPOV. You and your fish. But if you’re getting too big for your breeches, then…
GRADOBOEV. You’ve said enough already; you’re not going to add anything that makes sense.
KUROSLEPOV. And when was it you became godfather to my child? It was when I didn’t have money.
GRADOBOEV. Let’s go, let’s go. There’s refreshments waiting for us. (He leads Kuroslepov away.)
ARISTARKH. Why do I like to catch pike? Because it harms the other fish. It’s a big fish with teeth, so it grabs. A poor little fish can flounder and flounder about, but there’s no way it can get away from the pike!
A song is heard in the distance.
What’s that? Our people? They came at a good time.
A boat approaches. In it stands Khlynov without a jacket, his arms akimbo. Also in it are six rowers and a gentleman with a large mustache.
Why are you people carrying on like hooligans, you’re frightening the fish! (To Khlynov.) Look at you, you’ve been getting drunk since morning. A man can’t hide from you anywhere.
Khlynov and the gentleman with the mustache are helped out onto the dock.
KHLYNOV (importantly). How can you talk like that, brother! The river’s not prohibited to anyone.
ARISTARKH. Come here, brother, over here. (He leads Khlynov to the front of the stage.) If you want to be a merchant to make people sit up and take notice, then stop pouring champagne on the sand! Nothing’s going to grow there.
KHLYNOV. All right, brother, cut it short! I don’t have time now to listen to your sermons…
ARISTARKH. Look, do at least one good deed. Then people will start talking about you. Then you’ll show yourself to good advantage.
KHLYNOV. I can do anything…
ARISTARKH. Do you know Vasily Shustry? He’s in jail, but he’s innocent. You take him out on bail.
KHLYNOV. That’s of no consequence! Speak faster brother! You can see I don’t have much time.
ARISTARKH. He’s being sent into the army simply out of spite, but you can buy him off; he’ll earn the money back for you. You can hire a volunteer replacement for him or you can buy an exemption11.
KHLYNOV. This is such a worthless business you’re bothering me with, brother.
ARISTARKH. A man is being ruined unjustly, and he calls it a worthless business.
KHLYNOV. You’re not making any sense to me, brother. What kind of honor is it for me to buy him off! All those words of yours aren’t worth a thing. But this is what is all adds up to. Since Vaska has begun to understand very well how to play the tambourine and since, for that very reason, he gives me a lot of pleasure, that means I’ll settle this business in a second. Because, if I take a liking to somebody, don’t anyone dare touch him.
ARISTARKH (with a bow). Fine, as you wish, as you wish. Just don’t let them do him any harm.
KHLYNOV. How dare you give me orders! At home we can talk things over, but in town you’re no comrade of mine. Keep your distance, move back! (To the gentleman.) Sir, Your Honor, let’s go to the chief of police.
ARISTARKH. And you don’t have your jacket! That’s how to go visiting!
KHLYNOV. You heard me, keep your place! To the rear table, with the musicians! And keep all those sermons to yourself; we don’t find them very interesting.
GENTLEMAN. I’m not going, it’s not proper, it’s ill-bred.
KHLYNOV. According to my understanding, it’s just your pride.
GENTLEMAN. It’s not pride at all, mon cher, what do I have to be proud about? But it’s just not proper. You know I don’t like this trait in you. You’ll have to excuse me.
KHLYNOV. Yes, sir. And what is this trait, may I ask?
GENTLEMAN. Your swinishness!
The chief of police and Kuroslepov come out. Sidorenko is in the doorway.
KHLYNOV. Governor of our town! (He bows.) Colonel, sir, we have come to pay Your Honor a visit! Our respects to Pavlin Pavlinych, our merchant leader. (To the gentleman.) Sir, look at them, our authorities! Colonel Gradoboev and Mr. Kuroslepov, most worthy… worthy merchant. But for you and me this doesn’t matter, for we can be free and easy…
GRADOBOEV. Mr. Khlynov, you’re carrying your wild pranks too far!
KHLYNOV. Colonel, sir, you are absolutely right; there’s been more than enough of our wild pranks. Colonel, sir, please set a fine on me for my wild pranks, set a fine! Whenever I do something very bad, you say straight off, “Khlynov, a fine!” Please take the money, Colonel, sir.
KUROSLEPOV. Why are you putting on all this show?
KHLYNOV. And why shouldn’t I put on a show, Mr. Kuroslepov? My whole arsenal’s full of show. Gentlemen authorities, please give me an answer. Why are you holding Vaska Shustry?
GRADOBOEV. All right now, Mr. Khlynov, putting on a show is one thing, but don’t go meddling in other people’s business or else I’ll put some limits on you.
KHLYNOV. It’s not other people’s business at all, because at present I have need of him.
KUROSLEPOV. And we don’t like pranks in our town either.
KHLYNOV. If it’s a question of his pranks, I’ll answer for him. I’ll bail him out right now.
KUROSLEPOV. He’s going into the army from the commune. We find a place for everybody.
KHLYNOV. I’ll arrange for a replacement, Mr. Chief of Police; please release Shustry to me on bail. If gratitude is in order, we won’t let that hold things up. (He searches in his pocket.)
GENTLEMAN. That’s enough, how can you!
KHLYNOV. Shhh, not a word! Colonel, sir, please, you set the amount yourself.
GRADOBOEV. Sidorenko, go tell them to release Shustry.
SIDORENKO. Yes, sir, Your Honor! (He goes off.)
KHLYNOV. Gentlemen, please come and eat with me at my summer home. I most humbly beg you, eat my cabbage soup and porridge! And maybe we’ll scrape up some fish, some sterlet. I hear they’ve gotten tired of staying in the fish ponds; they’ve been asking for some time to be put into fish soup. We’ll drum up some wine too, I have a bottle around somewhere. And the servants won’t be idle; they’ll go down to the cellar and drag up a dozen or two bottles of champagne. Since you’re authorities, we’ll drink to your health along with a shot from the cannon, and we’ll set people in the garden to shout hurrah. You’re welcome, gentlemen!
GRADOBOEV. When you talk sense like that, it’s a real pleasure to listen to you.
KUROSLEPOV. My wife will be expecting me, she might dream up something.
KHLYNOV. We’ll send your spouse a dispatch; we’ll supply an express messenger.
Sidorenko leads in Shustry.
KHLYNOV (to Vasya). Know the proper customs! How awfully ignorant you are, brother! Bow down to the town’s governor!
Vasya bows to Gradoboev.
To his worthy honor!
Vasya bows to Kuroslepov.
To me!
Vasya bows to Khlynov.
Get into the boat and take the tambourine!
Vasya gets into the boat.
Gentlemen, please!
All get into the boat.
Aristarkh, take the rudder!
Aristarkh takes his position by the rudder.
Canteen keeper! Do your business!
One of the rowers gives him a flask of vodka and snacks to go with it.
Please, gentleman, something for the trip, so we can go in boldness.
All drink and eat.
Aristarkh, brother, watch out for the shallows and the rocks under water. As soon as you see a dangerous place, tell us so at that very moment we can take something for our insides to give us courage. We’re off! Start! Vaska, strike up the tambourine!
A song. They sail off.
Garden at Khlynov’s summer home. Entrance to the house is at the left. Gradoboev, Kuroslepov, Khlynov, the gentleman, and Khlynov’s servants are coming out of the house.
KUROSLEPOV. That’s what I call a treat! God only help me survive it. That’s the way you could pay respects to the governor general himself. I must say it does you honor!
KHLYNOV. And why do we struggle if not for honor? That’s the one thing we hold to.
KUROSLEPOV. So, then, it’s good-bye; my horses have come for me. They’ll take me home now.
KHLYNOV. Hold on now, you can’t leave just like that. You’ve got to have a last drink for the road. (To a servant.) Hey, brother! Go see if we have any wine. I think some could be found.
The servant leaves.
GRADOBOEV. You people drink. I’ve had enough.
KHLYNOV. Colonel, sir, we have a saying: a guest is a prisoner.
GRADOBOEV. You’ve already made me enough of a prisoner.
The servant brings in a bottle of champagne.
KHLYNOV. Town governor! My respects! Brave warrior! Don’t wound your host, don’t dismay the merchant Khlynov. (He gives him a glass.)
GRADOBOEV. No, that’s an old trick. A man can’t drink all the wine you have. Drink it yourself.
KHLYNOV. Colonel, sir, if you would like to see whether your citizens behave correctly, we’ll show you straight off. (To Kuroslepov.) O leader, sir, I beg of you! (To the gentleman.) Sir, save the situation!
They drink.
It all seems right and proper. (He shows Gradoboev a glass.) Because I like things to be exactly right in my house. (To the servant.) Guess what we want, brother, guess what we want.
SERVANT. It’s ready sir. (He serves another bottle.)
KUROSLEPOV. No, really, you’ll have to excuse me, or else I won’t make it home, I’ll fall out of the carriage.
KHLYNOV. We’ll send somebody with you.
KUROSLEPOV. You’re stubborn, but I’m even more stubborn. You can kill me, but I won’t drink any more. I did you the favor, let it stop there. Besides, you should see the dreams I’ve started having. Lord! Always wild animals, and they have trunks, always grabbing at you and catching you, and with the sky falling… Good-bye, I’m going. (He starts off.)
KHLYNOV. Don’t forget us!
KUROSLEPOV. Your humble guest. (He leaves.)
KHLYNOV. Hey, boys! Put Mr. Kuroslepov into his carriage. And if he doesn’t prove to be a real fortress, then one of you sit opposite him and hold him by the shoulders till he gets home. (He wants to go along.)
GENTLEMAN. You stay here with the colonel. I’ll see him off. (He goes off. Several follow him.)
KHLYNOV (with a glass on a tray). Colonel, sir, you first!
GRADOBOEV. I’m not going to! Am I speaking to you in Russian or not?
KHLYNOV. I have a rule, sir. If a man won’t drink up, then we pour it on his head.
GRADOBOEV. A lot I need to know your rules. You have a rule, but I have a cane.
KHLYNOV. You won’t win, Colonel, sir; we’ll pour it on you. I’ll make a bet with you on it.
GRADOBOEV. You just try! What I’ll do to you!
KHLYNOV. You won’t do a thing to me, that’s how I understand it.
GRADOBOEV. You’ll get such a sentence there won’t be room for you in Siberia.
KHLYNOV. I’m not frightened, Colonel, sir; don’t try to scare me! Really, you better not try to scare me! Because that only makes it worse. And would you like to make a bet I’m not afraid of anything? I’ll reason it out good and clear for you right now. Let’s just suppose you do something bad to me. At that very moment I go straight to the governor general himself. And the very first word from His Excellency will be this: “You, Khlynov, are doing all kinds of disgraceful things!” And I’ll answer, “I do those disgraceful things, Your Excellency, because of the way I was brought up, lots of beatings but no good from them. I’ve heard that your fire brigade needs to have some repairs made, and that’s a matter I can take care of without charge.” “So,” he’ll say to me, “Is it true that you have a violent disposition?” “It’s violent, Your Excellency, I don’t like my disposition myself, I’m a wild beast. And the jails are in bad shape too, Your Excellency. Next thing you know the prisoners will escape. That too is something I can take care of without charge.” So there you have our policy, Colonel, sir. But that’s not all. From him I’ll go to his wife. “Wouldn’t it give you pleasure, dear lady, if I built a house in town for the orphans, as a donation?” Because not only can I see her whenever I want, but I’ve even had tea and coffee with her there, and rather offhanded too. So that’s how it is, Colonel, sir, and what it all comes down to is that it’s not very profitable for chiefs of police to quarrel with me. They might frighten other people, but for me they’re nothing at all. So you better not try passing sentence on me, for I can outsmart you straightaway. You better just fine me for my disgraceful acts a hundred rubles in silver. (He offers the wine.) Please, don’t stand on ceremony!
GRADOBOEV (takes the glass). You leper you! I wasn’t so afraid of the Turks as I’m afraid of you devils! It’s against my will that I’m drinking for you, you barbarian. When will you choke on your damn wine!
KHLYNOV. All this, Colonel, sir, has been done for your benefit… If sometimes it seems a lot to take, at other times it can happen to be even more…
GRADOBOEV. Happen! This happens with you every day.
KHLYNOV. Maybe so. But if it’s done with prayer and, the main thing, nobody tells on me… what harm can there be!
GRADOBOEV. Good-bye! You’re not going to tempt here again soon.
The gentleman returns.
KHLYNOV. But why is that, sir! And here we were hoping you’d be our constant guest. (He takes out his wallet.) Allow me! (He gives him three one-hundred-ruble notes.) Consider this a fine.
GRADOBOEV. Oh you, you shouldn’t do that!
KHLYNOV (embraces him and forces the money into Gradoboev’s pocket). It’s impossible not to! I can’t let you go without a present. We too understand very well what your job is like.
GRADOBOEV. You’ve broken me, you devil.
KHLYNOV. It’s not your fault, so please don’t worry about it, because it was forced on you.
GRADOBOEV. Well, good-bye. Thank you.
They kiss.
KHLYNOV. You people there! See off the town governor. Stand at attention.
All but the gentleman leave. Vasya enters.
GENTLEMAN. Well, how’s your business coming along?
VASYA. I got the exemption, but I don’t know about Mr. Khlynov… He…
GENTLEMAN. He’ll pay the money.
VASYA. You think he’ll really pay?
GENTLEMAN. He’ll pay all right, only he’ll make a clown out of you.
VASYA. But why should I make a fool of myself!
GENTLEMAN. You mean you don’t want to? You’d rather go into the army?
VASYA. Of course.
GENTLEMAN. No, you have to be joking! I’ve seen enough people of your stripe. You’re just not the soldier type; your knee joints aren’t firm. You’re made to be a clerk, to curl your hair and grease it, dangle a bronze watch chain, copy tender poetry in a notebook, that’s what you’re made for. You’re just no good for the soldier life. But here comes Khlynov himself; talk with him.
Vasya steps back timidly. Khlynov and several servants enter.
KHLYNOV. They’ve gone. Well, here I’m left, my friend! Because of all my money I have to die of boredom.
GENTLEMAN. You’re bored of your own free will!
KHLYNOV. But what am I supposed to do? Run up and down? Look at you in wonder? See what kinds of patterns you’ve got on you?
GENTLEMAN. In the first place, you be more careful how you express yourself. And in the second place, you have Aristarkh for that, to think up distractions for you.
KHLYNOV. Yes, and he probably hasn’t thought up a thing. I told him a little while ago: sit, brother, don’t move, think up something for me to do tonight. (To a servant.) Where’s Aristarkh?
SERVANT. Here, in the garden. He’s lying under a tree.
KHLYNOV. Thinking?
SERVANT. No, he’s playing a pipe; he wants to attract the hawks.
KHLYNOV. He was told to think, and he’s playing a pipe. Call him here right now.
The servant leaves. Khlynov, catching sight of Vasya, sits down in an armchair, sprawls out, and speaks with a tone of importance.
So, you’re here! Come here, I want to talk with you. Because I, brother, in view of your poverty, wish to be your benefactor,
Vasya bows.
and about that very matter I want to ask you what your thoughts are.
VASYA. We got the exemption, sir.
KHLYNOV. And what might be the going rate on such documents?
VASYA. You mean the price, sir?
KHLYNOV. Look, brother, you should have understood that right off. I can’t repeat things ten times for every no-account fellow.
VASYA. Four hundred rubles, sir.
KHLYNOV. And exactly where were you hoping to get that money from?
VASYA (bowing low). Don’t abandon me, Tarakh Tarasych!
KHLYNOV. Do you imagine, brother, that your bows are worth an awful lot?
VASYA. God will provide. Daddy and I’ll get ourselves straightened out, and at that time and with our gratitude you’ll be…
KHLYNOV. How dare you, brother, and at my own summer home, say such things! Do you think I’m your equal, that you can pay me back money? You want to borrow from me maybe, like friends? When I look at you, brother, I can see you don’t have any education at all! You’ve got to wait, to see what kind of mercy I might want to show. Maybe I’ll forgive you this money or maybe I’ll make you turn a somersault and call it quits. How can you know my soul when I don’t know it myself, because it all depends on what kind of a mood I’m in.
VASYA. It’s all as you will, Tarakh Tarashch, but right now I’m as good as dying.
KHLYNOV. That’s the tack you should have taken in the first place… submission… Now then, brother, here’s what I’ve decided. For me four hundred rubles isn’t worth spitting on, but for that money you’ll work for me one year, at any task I pick for you.
VASYA. Tell me what it’ll be, Tarakh Tarasych; I’ll explain why. Daddy knows a lot of people, we’re upper class in the town, and we’re merchant class too…
KHLYNOV. When you’re with Mr. Khlynov, brother, you’ll be the leader of the chorus. That’s the rank and class you’ll have with me.
VASYA. But Tarakh Tarasych, I’ll be shamed in front of my friends.
KHLYNOV. If you’re going to be shamed, brother, then I won’t force you. You can go into the army.
VASYA. Please, Tarakh Tarasych, let me think about it!
KHLYNOV. Once again you end up a fool and ignoramus! Did you just become a senator, that you suddenly feel like thinking! It’s for clever people to do the thinking. But if you want to think, brother, then I’ll have them take you back to jail. You can think better there.
VASYA. No, how can you say that, Tarakh Tarasych, don’t ruin my youth. Whatever you want, let it be.
KHLYNOV. It didn’t take you long, brother, to do your thinking.
Aristarkh enters.
Where have you been, brother…
ARISTARKH, Now you just hold on, you disgusting man! (To the servants.) When you people stagger about drunk in the garden, then watch out you don’t fall into the trap I set there, it’s for skunk. And the household servants too! They’re no worse than the master. And I have a snake there under the tree.
KHLYNOV. What do you have a snake for? How stupid can you get, brother! It will bite somebody.
ARISTARKH. That shows how smart you are. It’s a paper kite, we call it a snake. I glued it together and set it there to dry.
KHLYNOV. For what purpose?
ARISTARKH. We’ll put it up at night with a lantern, from a boat. And to that boat I’m attaching a kind of contraption. It works by hand, and I’ve ordered wheels for it; it’ll be something like a steamship.
KHLYNOV. But how about it, brother, I told you to think up how I’ll spend the time tonight.
ARISTARKH. I’ve already thought it up, let me tell you. (He takes a chair and sits down.) Listen! Not far from here there’s a gentleman by the name of Khvatsky. He used to have a good estate, only he ruined it trying out all kinds of things. He broke up his house, took apart all the stoves and partitions, and he made a theater of it; he himself lives in the bathhouse. He bought a lot of scenery, all kinds of costumes, wigs, headpieces to show baldness, all sorts of things. Only he didn’t have anyone to act or look at this theater. Now he needs money badly, because he planted potatoes in all his fields, wanted to make starch out of them, but his crop was frostbitten, and it stayed in the ground. So now he wants to go to Astrakhan to make fish glue, and he’d sell his whole theater for almost nothing.
KHLYNOV. But brother, why are you preaching us this long sermon?
GENTLEMAN. Wait, I think I can see some sense in this.
ARISTARKH. Of course there is; I’m not about to talk for nothing. Listen, you disgusting man, to what comes next. I’ll go and buy all his costumes from him. And at night we’ll dress up all our people like robbers; he has big hats, with feathers. Our robbers won’t be Russian ones but the kind they have in the theater; I can’t describe them to you; what I don’t know I don’t know. And we’ll dress up too; I’ll be a hermit…
KHLYNOV. But why a hermit?
ARISTARKH. Is there anything you understand! If I say something, that means I know what I’m talking about. Robbers always have a hermit with them; that makes it more fun. And we’ll all go out into the woods, to the great highway, near where the hut is. We’ll dress up the gentleman as the chief, because he has a stern look anyway, and then there’s his mustache. We’ll dress you up as a robber too, only we won’t have to disguise you very much; you look like a robber as it is, and in the woods at night you’ll be perfect.
KHLYNOV. Careful, brother, don’t you go forgetting yourself!
ARISTARKH. We’ll whistle in the bushes, and we’ll stop people going by and take them to the chief. We’ll give them a good fright, then we’ll get them drunk and let them go.
GENTLEMAN. That’s a great idea.
KHLYNOV. Not bad, we’ll do it. A very interesting business. So you go ahead with it while I take a little nap. (He goes off.)
GENTLEMAN. First we’ll have a rehearsal with our people. This is going to be a great prank, noble and pleasant. Yes, devil take it, this is going to be funny, and just when I was dying of boredom. (He leaves.)
Vasya approaches Aristarkh.
VASYA. Aristarkh, I’ve thrown in my lot with Khlynov.
ARISTARKH. That’s your business.
VASYA. But I still wonder about it! Sometimes I think, wouldn’t it be better to be a soldier! And if things weren’t so hard, I’d do it right now… because I have a heroic spirit…
ARISTARKH. So you and your heroic spirit have become a clown.
VASYA. It couldn’t be helped. It’s awful! But if I dared to, I think I could do some great deeds.
ARISTARKH. That’s enough talk! How could you do anything! You’ve just eaten too much white bread. You have almost no spirit at all, so what’s the point in bragging! Heh, heh, heh! You’re a small piece of goods, sewn together with bast! All your life you’ve been feeding on bits and pieces, never seeing a big piece of anything, all the time trying to bolster yourself up so people won’t think you’re low class. You’re always thrashing about, on the move, afraid you might be caught lying in the mud.
VASYA. It may be true…
ARISTARKH. When you’re young and still have your strength and are still worth something, it somehow doesn’t seem right for you to be turning somersaults. Of course it’s really none of my business, but the words came to mind, and I said them.
VASYA. That’s true enough. But what worries me is what Parasha will say if I stay leader of the chorus with Khlynov! But then what should I care what people think! If she loves me, she should think the way I do. Whatever’s best for me. So why cry over it? A man’s got to look out for himself, right, Aristarkh? And I’ll be a dashing singer too.
He goes off with Aristarkh.
Clearing in a forest. On the left is a small wicker shed for hay. Near the shed, on the side facing the audience, a board has been put on two stumps to serve as a bench. On the right are two or three stumps and a felled dry tree. In the background trees are everywhere, and beyond them are visible a road, beyond the road fields, and in the distance a village. The sun is setting.
NARKIS (off stage). Who-oa-oa! Damn you! Where’ve I gotten to? It’s all thicket! It’s not a matter of getting through with a horse, you can’t even get through on foot! (He comes out on the stage.) How did I end up in such a mess! I must’ve dozed off. (He stops.) What little hut on chicken legs is this? It’s a shed! Ah, this is the second time I’ve come to the very same place. I’ve gone in a circle! It’s the doings of evil spirits! May this place be holy! But how could I have circled round, it’s still light. No, I must’ve dozed off. And it’s no wonder, the drinking I did with those peasants! What did I drink? God help me remember. Two glasses, then half a glass, and two cups of tea, then another half glass, then a glass. But why keep count, to your health! I’m one that can manage it, for me it’s like water, though there’s some people couldn’t handle that much water. Keeping count’s a sin; they say you can get thin from keeping count… Altogether it’s only three miles to home, but I’m just not getting there. I’ll lead the horse out onto the road and give it the whip, then we’ll be home in no time. If not, it will be embarrassing! The master sent me on business, and I got lost. People might even think I’d been drunk. (He goes off.)
Out of the woods in marching formation come Khlynov, wearing a Spanish cloak over his waistcoat and also a velvet hat with feathers; Aristarkh dressed as a Capuchin; the gentleman; behind the gentleman Khlynov’s men paired off in various costumes, Vasya among them. Two baskets with drink and food are being carried in the rear.
KHLYNOV. Forward, march! (He wants to go out onto the road.)
ARISTARKH (stopping him). Wait, you disgusting man! Where do you think you’re going?
KHLYNOV. Someone just went by, brother.
ARISTARKH. Well, so what?
KHLYNOV. Shouldn’t I look into it?
ARISTARKH. It’s still too early to go out of the woods, it’s too light. (He looks at the road.) I can tell you right now who went by. That’s Narkis, Kuroslepov’s assistant, on his master’s wagon. They sent him somewhere, and there he is rocking back and forth, must have dozed off! Where is the crazy man headed for! Oh well, the horse knows, it’ll get them onto the road.
KHLYNOV. You got this business started, brother, so get it organized.
ARISTARKH. Everybody stop here! This will be our halting place. (To the gentleman.) Sir, and you landowner Khlynov, you two sit down on the bench behind the shed, no one can see you there from the road; somebody take the baskets into the shed.
KHLYNOV. Canteen keeper, prepare a snack, brother, so we can stay sober.
He and the gentleman sit down on the bench.
ARISTARKH. Now we’ll split up. You two go to the little hill, you two to the bridge, and hide well behind the bushes; don’t go to the country road; only peasants and pilgrims go there. If you see someone going by on foot or by horse, first let them go by, then whistle. And the rest of you sit down near here in the bushes. Only sit and don’t make any noise, don’t sing any songs, don’t play heads or tails, don’t get into any boxing matches. When I whistle, then come out. (He goes up to Khlynov.)
KHLYNOV. Why, brother, are we just sitting here? Your first concern is to keep me occupied. As soon as I don’t have anything to do, I can get bored and fall into sadness. And when I’m sad and bored, brother, bad thoughts come into my head, and from that I can suddenly grow thin.
ARISTARKH. But why be bored! It’s so quiet here! I hate to leave the woods, it’s such a wonderful evening!
KHLYNOV. What’s a wonderful evening? What’s good about it? What can you understand, brother? The pleasant thing about a summer evening is that it’s easy to drink champagne, because the weather’s cool. But without the champagne what good’s the evening? (To the gentleman.) Sir, shouldn’t we break into a bottle?
A whistle.
ARISTARKH Wait! (He whistles.)
Khlynov’s men come out of the woods.
Quiet!
NARKIS (off stage). Whoa-oa-oa! Damn you! I wish a wolf ’d eat you up! Where’ve you brought me! Whoa-oa-oa!
ARISTARKH. I’ll go take a look. (He goes to the bushes and returns.) It’s Narkis, he’s lost in the woods. (To Khlynov.) There’s a good catch for you!
NARKIS (off stage). It’s really weird! I just can’t get out of here no matter what I do. I’ve got to pull the devil back by his tail. Where’m I stuck this time? I’ll have to look around.
ARISTARKH (to the men). Surround him, and when I give the sign, grab him and bring him here.
Narkis comes on stage. Khlynov’s men come from all sides.
NARKIS (looking around). How about that! The shed! Here I am again, for the third time. Good for me! Now isn’t that the work of the devil! No, you can say what you want, but the business is clear enough. It’s when it gets dark I get frightened. It’s him playing jokes, it’s the devil come out now; when it gets dark he comes out; he never comes out when it’s light, that’s not for him, he can’t then… Well, let him have his little jokes, just so I don’t see him. They say his looks strike so, no man dares look straight at him! Now when am I going to get home? No, I’m fed up with all this! This time I’ll lead the horse by the bridle, and I won’t doze off. Just so long as he doesn’t come at me, for if he does, I think I’d even leave the horse. No, I’ll be home soon, I’m no coward. Of course, if he suddenly popped up in front of me, then I might be frigh… (He goes toward the horse. At a sign from Aristarkh one of Khlynov’s men bars the way to Narkis.) There he is, it’s him!… How do you like that! Speak of the devil! I’ll just go another way and not look at him. (He goes in another direction. Another man bars his way.) There’s another one, really! (Aristarkh comes out from behind the shed and gives the sign to take him.) A third one! The wood’s full of them! But that one must be the real one! I’m not drunk any more. Should I shout or not? But what’s the good of shouting? Besides the wood demon no one’s going to answer. (He waves his hand at Aristarkh.) May this place be holy. (He whispers.) Didn’t work! It’s the end of me.
Servants take him by the arms and lead him to Khlynov. Others bring wine and a glass. The gentleman signals him to drink.
You mean I’m supposed to drink? Is it some kind of poison? Will it make me explode?
The gentleman nods no.
Is your word good? All right, I’ll drink it. (He drinks. They pour him some more.) So, more? The first went off good enough. I’ll try another. (He drinks.) Thank you. Now allow me to ask you, are you people, more or less, or something else?
GENTLEMAN (in a deep voice). We’re robbers.
NARKIS. Robbers? You don’t look like it. You look more like those you shouldn’t mention at night but only in the daytime, especially that one there. (He points at Aristarkh.) This is really scary, especially in the woods and at night.
ARISTARKH. Tremble!…
NARKIS. But I’m trembling already. I’m trembling all over.
GENTLEMAN. We come from foreign lands.
NARKIS. You do? You just came? Say, do you spend your time murdering people?
GENTLEMAN. No.
NARKIS. That makes me feel better. You know, that’s a good thing, that you don’t kill people. And do you rob a lot?
GENTLEMAN. No.
NARKIS. What do you mean, no? But why don’t you rob? You’re making a mistake there. You’re from foreign lands, you don’t know our people. Our people’s a simple, peaceable, and patient people. I’m telling you, you can rob it. There’s even a lot of people who don’t know what to do with all their money. That’s right. Take Khlynov, for example, why not rob him! It might even make him feel better.
KHLYNOV. Brother, how can you…
ARISTARKH (sternly). Quiet!
NARKIS (to the gentleman). Tell you what, kind friend, have them bring another little glass. Without that I’ll be shivering from fright.
The gentleman nods his head.
After that you can do what you want with me. I’m sure your wine is imported, but what they sell us, kind friend, is a fraud. (They bring the wine; he drinks it.) You say you don’t rob?
GENTLEMAN. We don’t rob.
NARKIS. Then what do you do with us?
GENTLEMAN. We take people, make them drink, and let them go.
NARKIS. That’s very good. That’s wonderful.
ARISTARKH. You like that?
NARKIS. Couldn’t be better. It’s unheard of; if somebody told me, I wouldn’t believe it.
GENTLEMAN. Would you like to join our band and be our kind of robber?
NARKIS. Your kind of robber? What’s it like? Are you a collective artel or do you have a boss and salary?
GENTLEMAN. There’s a salary.
NARKIS. Do you eat your own grub or the boss’s?
GENTLEMAN. The boss’s.
NARKIS. That’s a good setup. I’d join you with the greatest of pleasure, only here’s the thing, my friend…(Looking around at Khlynov’s men.) What are they standing there for! Send them away, don’t worry, I won’t go away. We’ll sit on the grass, I like good company.
Aristarkh makes a sign, and the men disperse. Narkis, Khlynov, the gentleman, and Aristarkh sit down on the ground.
The thing is, my only friend, I don’t know what to call you…I’d really like to… but I won’t be coming with you.
GENTLEMAN. Why not?
NARKIS. Because I have the life now… do I have the life! It’s the berries! Like that I could live forever, everything top grade. I have a stupid master; he sent me to come to terms with the peasants on farming out the meadows, but I don’t have much respect for him. With his wife, though, I’m in love and perfect agreement.
ARISTARKH. I don’t believe it.
NARKIS. It’s the honest truth. I don’t say things for nothing. I get fed and the rest… everything… that’s where I’m going right now… come be my guest! While you’re there first thing I’ll call for wine, brother, all kinds, red, white, and rum… all kinds. And next I’ll say, bring me a thousand rubles! In the shake of a lamb’s tail! And she’ll bring it.
ARISTARKH. You’re making it up!
NARKIS. It’s true! Wouldn’t be the first time! She’d bring me two thousand if she could swipe it easily from her husband. It’s just awful how much she loves me! I’m telling you, my only friend, there’s no words to tell how much she loves me. Now take not long ago, she brought me two thousand with her very own hands. And then and there, my only friend, I put it in a box under my pillow… I turn the key, and the key goes onto my cross. So now when I get there I’ll tell her to bring me a thousand, and into the box and click with the key. Because, kind friend, I want to set myself up as a merchant. That’s how I think of myself, what I need. And that’s how it is, dear friend…
ARISTARKH. Looks like you love her, right?
NARKIS. It’s not exactly that I love her; it’s just that, the way I feel about things, it’s all useful to me.
ARISTARKH. So be it! I’d like to go with you, but we get as much wine as we want. (He beckons to one of the men.) They’ll help you lead your horse out. (To the man.) Give him lots to eat and drink, (quietly) then lay him in the wagon and see him to town. (To Narkis.) Go with him, he won’t do you any harm.
NARKIS. Thanks for your company. (He leaves.)
ARISTARKH (to Khlynov). What about it, are you satisfied? Every cloud has its silver lining. Now I’ll explain all this to the chief of police so innocent people won’t suffer because of that scoundrel.
KHLYNOV. It’d be a good thing now, brother, if we could catch some nobleman, to drink some champagne with him.
GENTLEMAN. Or some young lady, one well brought up, one from an institute for young ladies!… I’d fall on my knees before her right away, and I’d act out some scene from a tragedy.
ARISTARKH. Let’s go out on the highway; we might run into somebody there. But we’re out in the country here. Look, there come some pilgrims.
Pilgrims pass along the road.
KHLYNOV. We can’t have any fun with people like that, brother, it’s just a waste of time.
They go off. Parasha and Gavrilo appear on the road.
PARASHA. I’m so tired! I don’t have any more strength! I can’t move from the spot, I won’t make it to the next town.
GAVRILO. Rest a minute, Praskovya Pavlinovna. Sit down here in the clearing, on the logs. Don’t sit on the grass, there’s dew. We’ll rest a bit and then catch up with the others, it’s still early. We’ll reach the town before ten.
PARASHA. Let’s stay awhile, I can’t go on, I just can’t!
GAVRILO. It’s not so much the road as your feelings.
PARASHA. I’m falling, I’m falling.
GAVRILO. Please, let me hold you by the elbow. (He leads her to the logs.)
PARASHA. I’m just tired, but after I’ve prayed I’ll feel better. I don’t know how to thank you. Without you I’d have never made it here.
GAVRILO. But you know I had to come myself…
PARASHA. No, don’t say that, I know you came just for me. My head… and my legs and arms feel as though they don’t belong to me, it’s as if I’m unconscious. And there’s a noise in my head, but I don’t feel any pain, and I feel so good, and it’s so pleasant, and I’m imagining something… only what is it? There’s some noise, a kind of noise, like a stream over the rocks or a mill… I feel faint, Gavryusya, I feel faint!
GAVRILO. But what’s the matter, my dear! I’ll go get some water, there was a spring here somewhere.
PARASHA. Go, go!
Gavrilo goes. Whistles sound in various places. He comes running back.
GAVRILO. Somebody’s whistling.
PARASHA. What? I don’t hear anything.
GAVRILO. Somebody’s whistling in the woods.
PARASHA. Well, it doesn’t matter, they’re just having fun… Go.
Gavrilo goes off. The whistling intensifies. The gentleman comes out of the bushes and, catching sight of Parasha, runs up to her. She looks at him in fright. Khlynov’s men appear in several places.
GENTLEMAN. O beauteous one! At last I’ve found thee. (He takes her by the hand.)
Parasha wants to escape, but her strength abandons her. The gentleman supports her, embracing her with one arm.
GAVRILO (grabbing a large branch, he throws himself at the gentleman). Don’t touch her! I’ll die on the spot, but I won’t let you touch her!
The gentleman shoots from his pistol; Gavrilo falls.
PARASHA. Oh, he’s killed, he’s killed! (She covers her face with her hands.)
GAVRILO (getting up and feeling himself). No, I seem to be alive. I must have fallen from fright. It deafened me. But what’s going on, good Lord! (He gets up.)
The gentleman makes a sign. Men run in and carry Gavrilo off.
GENTLEMAN. You don’t recognize me? Oh I’ve loved you a long time. Why have you made me so unhappy? I left the world of people and ran off to the woods to get together a band of robbers. At last you’re in my arms. You will be mine. Oh!…
PARASHA (tries to push him away). No, no! Vasya, Vasya!
GENTLEMAN. Would you like some brocade? Velvet, diamonds? They’re all yours. Only love me.
PARASHA (tries to free herself, but her strength diminishes). Oh no, no! I don’t want them, I don’t want anything! Let me go! Have pity on me… I beg you, I implore you, have pity on me! (Almost in a whisper.) I don’t belong to myself now. I belong to somebody else, I belong to Vasya… Vasya, Vasya! (She faints.)
The gentleman places her on the bench by the shed and supports her. Khlynov and Aristarkh enter.
KHLYNOV. What’s all that shooting?
GENTLEMAN. Come quick! See what a beauty I’ve found! She must have gotten a big fright, she needs some help.
KHLYNOV. That girl’s first-rate, brother. You have my approval.
ARISTARKH (running up). Oh you barbarians! This is my goddaughter Parasha, Kuroslepov’s daughter. (To Khlynov.) Send for a carriage right away, I’ll take her home.
Khlynov sends one of his men.
(To the gentleman.) And you, sir, really found someone to take advantage of. You clearly have the mind of a small child. Give her to me, you bandits, she’s too good for you drunkards! Stay away you, stay away! (He sits down on the bench next to Parasha and fans her with a kerchief.) Get some water! (Some men run for water.) How dared you touch her with your dirty paws! Her a dove and you little better than devils. Great joke! And to think I, stupid fool that I was, wanted to give you some amusement! I should know by now you can’t play a single trick without hurting somebody. Your greatest joy is to harm people who’re poor and defenseless. (They bring some water; he pours several drops on her head.) As if this girl hadn’t been hurt enough, you have to go and add your bit. They pestered her to death at home, somehow or other she got away…
Parasha gradually comes to and listens.
and she went off to pray to God, to ask Him for protection… So her father, sleepy eyes, being egged on by her stepmother, told the chief of police this morning to catch her and shame her by having her led on a rope by a guard through the town. Then he’d lock her up in the store room for half a year, maybe even a year.
PARASHA (rises and talks as if in a delirium). Through the town with a guard? In the store room? Where is he, where’s the head man here? Let’s go! Let’s go together! I’ll go with you…
GENTLEMAN AND ARISTARKH. Where? Where?
PARASHA. To the town, to the town! I’ll go myself…(With a shout.) They can’t abuse me! They can’t make me stay in the store room! I’ll set fire to my house at all four corners. Let’s go! I’ll lead you, I’ll lead you straight there. Hand me something!… A gun… fire, fire again. (She weakens.)
ARISTARKH. Parasha! What’s the matter! God be with you! It’s me, your godfather. (He takes off his hood.)
PARASHA (looks at him). Godfather?
ARISTARKH. Yes, yes, your godfather! Aristarkh. Recognize me now? We were playing a joke. That there’s the contractor Khlynov! Have you heard of him? An ugly type. But he can’t help it; he has a lot of money and has to amuse himself.
PARASHA. But where’s Gavrilo?
ARISTARKH (turning around). Where’s Gavrilo?
ONE OF THE MEN. He got away from us and ran away.
ARISTARKH. Now he’ll go running to town and get everybody there upset. But it doesn’t matter, with the horses we’ll get there first. You know, Parasha, Khlynov paid to keep Vasya out of the army.
PARASHA. Paid for him?
KHLYNOV. I paid four hundred silver rubles.
ARISTARKH. But where is that Vasya? He was with us.
Vasya comes out of the grove.
PARASHA. Vasya! Vasya! (She throws herself on his neck.)
VASYA. What are you doing? It’s not right with people around.
PARASHA. You’re free?
KHLYNOV. I’ve made him my singer now.
PARASHA (stepping back). Singer?
VASYA. So what, a man has to do something for his bread.
KHLYNOV. For that money I paid out I’ve taken him into bondage for a year.
PARASHA (with fright). Bondage?
ARISTARKH. What a thing to brag about! Benefactor! Making clowns out of people.
KHLYNOV. And suppose I do make them clowns, brother, who’s going to stop me? He’s bankrupt, and for my money I can make him work at anything I want, and that’s what he’ll want. I hired him as a clown, so a clown he is. Vaska, keep your distance! To the rear table! Young lady, would you like some entertainment? I can order a gay song for you right now. Hey, people! Vaska, get your tambourine, step lively!
Vasya goes off.
PARASHA (with tears). Vasya! Vasya!
VASYA (going towards her). What is it?
PARASHA. Vasya, why did you take that money?
VASYA. What should I do, go into the army?
PARASHA. Yes, yes. I was already praying about it… I had committed myself to that. Yes, yes, into the army. It would have been a shame, but it would have been honest… You know, we had decided, we’d agreed on it, you wanted to… did you really… did you really…
KHLYNOV. Vaska, know your place!
Vasya goes off.
PARASHA. Did you really… turn coward?
Vasya is given the tambourine; he takes it silently.
Answer! Answer me! Did you turn coward? Did you get frightened?
Vasya shakes the tambourine angrily.
Such a handsome boy, such a brave young lad, and he turned coward. And there he stands with the tambourine! Ha, ha, ha! It’s that that hurts. What am I? What am I? He’s a song and dance man, so what does that make me? Somebody take me away! I lived just for him, for his sake I put up with things. I, the daughter of a rich merchant, wanted to be a soldier’s wife, to live in the barracks with him, but he!… Oh, Godfather! It’s so hard for me… I need courage!… I need courage… but I don’t have it. I’ve been beaten down by fate… beaten down… and he… he has finished me off. (She falls into Aristarkh’s arms.)
ARISTARKH. Bring the horses quick! God grant we can get her there alive! You poor thing, you poor martyr!
Scenery of Act One. It’s ten p.m. Matryona comes down from the porch and walks in the yard. A little later Kuroslepov comes out onto the porch. Silan is at the gate.
KUROSLEPOV. Matryona!
MATRYONA. What next! I have to babysit him like a little boy. Seems he’s waked up, his eyes are open.
KUROSLEPOV. Come here!
MATRYONA (turning). Well?
KUROSLEPOV. Why do you leave me alone! It’s nighttime…
MATRYONA. If it’s nighttime then go to sleep! What more do you want?
KUROSLEPOV. It’s time to sleep, that’s right… but I’m troubled… where’s Narkis?
MATRYONA. Don’t worry, he’ll turn up. Narkis isn’t a needle; you lose that and you won’t find it right away.
KUROSLEPOV. But what’s going on? How could he do such a thing! I ought to throw him out by the neck. Sent on his master’s business, and I gave him orders…
MATRYONA. And if he’s home?
KUROSLEPOV. Then why doesn’t he show himself?
MATRYONA. And what if he’s asleep! He’s a human being, or isn’t he?
KUROSLEPOV. What you’re saying is he’s drunk.
MATRYONA. And were you sober when you came home from Khlynov’s? A servant sitting there in front of you holding you up by the shoulders. And in the daytime too, through the town.
KUROSLEPOV. Everybody knows I’m the master. But what’s he?
MATRYONA. What the master’s like his people are like. Who sets the example if not the master?
KUROSLEPOV. Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes! I’m not in my second childhood yet. When a man’s sent on a business, should he give an accounting or not? Speak, should he?
MATRYONA. As if tomorrow’s not going to be a day for you! You two can talk things out then. Let’s hope they’re not affairs of state.
KUROSLEPOV (with horror). Matryona! Matryona!
MATRYONA. What’s the matter with you?
KUROSLEPOV. Look up! Look!
MATRYONA. Oh! How sudden you are for us women, Pavlin Pavlinych! How frightening you can be! We women are so weak any little thing can grow to anything! Some day you’ll turn me into a monster. My heart sunk. I’m hardly alive, I feel empty.
KUROSLEPOV. Look up there! I’m telling you!
MATRYONA. What for?
KUROSLEPOV Is it falling?
MATRYONA. What falling, you nut?
KUROSLEPOV. The sky.
MATRYONA. All right, that’s enough! Now you’ve said it, let it go at that. Go to bed! You’ve worn me out! They ought to tie you up and put you in the crazy house! How can the sky fall when it’s fixed firm? That’s what they call it, the firmament! Go to bed! Go without arguing. With you there’s not a moment’s peace.
KUROSLEPOV (going off). Then to bed it is. I’m off.
MATRYONA. What’s that you’re hiding in your boot?
KUROSLEPOV. Money.
MATRYONA. Is it a lot?
KUROSLEPOV. Add a ruble, and it’ll be six hundred and forty.
MATRYONA. You lose that from your boot, and you’ll start another hullabaloo.
KUROSLEPOV. No, do you know where I’m going to put it now? In the bedroom there’s a bag with nuts, so I’ll put it under the nuts, on the very bottom, and it can stay there till tomorrow. It’ll be safer there, in those nuts. (He goes off.)
MATRYONA. Silanty!
SILAN (approaching). What do you want?
MATRYONA. How’s Narkis?
SILAN. He’s all right, he’s come around. He’s combing his hair now.
MATRYONA. But where was he?
SILAN. Are there only a few places for him? He goes where he wants! He was bargaining with the peasants, the whole community there.
MATRYONA. Then what?
SILAN. The same old thing. The peasants don’t have a duma or senate building. They have only one building for judging their community business.
MATRYONA. So that’s what it was!
SILAN. What else? It’s been the custom, and they’re not about to change it. So you figure it all out for yourself since he’s got a weakness for the stuff. But there he is now, Narkis himself. (Silan goes off from Matryona and out through the gate. Narkis enters.)
MATRYONA. You’re debauched, you’re just a debauched man! You wait, you’re going to get if from the master.
NARKIS. I’m not awfully afraid. Don’t try to scare me. I’ve just seen horrors a lot worse than that, and I didn’t get scared. If you’d seen all that horror I’d like to see what you’d say. One of them had on such boots, just from the boots alone you’d have been scared stiff. And you should have seen the hats! All with feathers. And one had a cloth bag on his head.
MATRYONA. When a man goes on a spree like you there’s nothing he can’t dream up. Enough to talk about for two days.
NARKIS. I ought to know whether I dreamed it or not. Even if it didn’t scare me much, I’m still a bit shaken up. What I need now is a good remedy.
MATRYONA. What kind of remedy?
NARKIS. A bottle of rum, or better two…That’ll warm me up for the night.
MATRYONA. Lime blossom would be better for you.
NARKIS. More nonsense! And why shouldn’t I drink a little rum? My belly has an awful need for some dampness. I told you, rum. I know my constitution better than you.
MATRYONA. But where can I get rum?
NARKIS. Look for it! Since you won’t find it in the dark, light a lantern.
MATRYONA. This world has never created a man mean as you.
NARKIS. And while you’re at it, along with that rum grab me off a thousand rubles. By my count what I’m lacking now is exactly a thousand.
MATRYONA. No, no, no! Not for anything! Don’t even talk about it!
NARKIS. I’m not talking about it, I’m just telling you in plain language. If you don’t do it then I won’t let you come to me, not even to the threshold. And tomorrow, when I give my accounting to the master, I’ll tell him all about your doings, the whole business.
MATRYONA. And aren’t I the one who’s been doing favors everywhere for your ugly mug? Don’t you have any pity for your benefactor?
NARKIS. How many times have I told you there’s no pity in me? Don’t ever pin your hopes on pity from me.
MATRYONA. Oh, you’ve destroyed me, you’ve destroyed me!
NARKIS. Now look, speak quieter, don’t make a scandal before you have to.
MATRYONA. But where can I get so much money?
NARKIS. Well, if there’s a little lacking, I’ll forgive you.
MATRYONA. And how can I come to you? What if Silanty sees me?
NARKIS. Here’s what to do. Take your husband’s long cloak or overcoat and put it on, then his hat on your head. If Silanty sees you, he’ll think it’s the master himself come to bawl me out. And I’ll go heat up the samovar so I can have something warm…
He goes off into the wing, and Matryona goes into the house. Silan enters through the gate.
SILAN. They’ve left each other and gone their ways. That’s something new! And the chief of police is waiting out there. I’d better go and tell him to go home. You’ve been out enough nights, I’ll tell him. Go home, I’ll say, poor old man, go home. What a job they have! You have to be sorry for the man! The master is asleep, but the chief of police has to protect him. And who is it he’s protecting? What kind of man? And yet they make all those demands. They tell him, “You weren’t watching out; you failed again.” The master needs his rest but why? What’s he done, overworked himself? He’s filled himself up with food and drink, and then it’s plop on his feather bed like some log or stump. He never had any army service, never wore himself out in campaigns from beginning to end, never looked at the cup of death. So there he lies like a boar and says, “You guard me from misfortune!” No, they can say what they want, but I’m sorry for our old chief of police. In the first place, he’s old, and then he was wounded…
Matryona comes out in an overcoat and hat.
What wonder is this! The master came out! I can’t get over it, because at this time you can only get him up with a lever or a pulley. (He goes up to Matryona.) What do you want? Can’t you sleep? Don’t worry, I’m here.
MATRYONA (changing her voice). Go outside the gate. There’s nothing you haven’t seen here.
SILAN. Outside the gate? I was outside the gate.
MATRYONA. Get going, I told you.
SILAN (to himself). Aha! So that’s it! (To Matryona.) I’m going, I’m going, master. I’ll stay all night by the gate… don’t worry about a thing. (He goes to the gate. Matryona goes in to Narkis.) No, you’re playing tricks! You can’t fool me. You take short steps, and your feet are mixed up. What does she have in her hands? Some sort of bag. She must be carrying nuts to Narkis, so they can enjoy themselves. (He goes to the gate and opens it.)
Aristarkh and Parasha enter.
SILAN. How did you get here?
ARISTARKH. A magpie brought us on its tail. Did she go by?
SILAN. Who? Move on, brother, move on. You don’t have any business here. Whatever there is is between the master and me. We don’t have to blow a trumpet.
ARISTARKH. Don’t put on airs with me! The chief of police sent me. We’re looking for a witness.
SILAN. Then why didn’t you say so! She went by, brother, she went by. (To Parasha with a bow.) You’ve been to prayers?
PARASHA. God sent His mercy, Silanty.
ARISTARKH (to Parasha). You go now, my beauty, into your little nest, and don’t worry about a thing, I’ll answer for you with my life. There’s going to be trouble, only not for you. Don’t be mad at your father. It wasn’t so much from spite as his weakness. What can you do when the wife rules the roost! But as for that villain, God willing, we’ll curb her tongue.
Parasha goes off into the house.
SILAN (loudly). Keep watch!
Gradoboev, Vasya, Sidorenko, some policemen and invalid soldiers enter.
GRADOBOEV (to Sidorenko). Station your command at the windows, the doors, and the gate so even a fly can’t get by. Oh ho ho! So I can’t find stolen money! Can’t find stolen money! I’ll show him how I can’t find it. I’ll find his money and stick his nose in it. Look, I’ll say, look! I can’t find it? Do you see it now? And now, so you won’t go on insulting old and deserving officers, I’ll just put this here money in my pocket. Sidorenko, do you have those papers with you, to write the decree?
SIDORENKO. I have them, Your Honor.
GRADOBOEV. Are the witnesses here?
SIDORENKO. They’re behind the gate, Your Honor.
GRADOBOEV (to Silan). Now you bring us your master.
SILAN. You mean wake him? But what good’s that? When he’s just waked up he’s crazy!
Kuroslepov comes out onto the porch.
But there he is himself…Now you can do what you want with him…
KUROSLEPOV (on the porch). That’s nuts for you! Matryona, Matryona, you haven’t seen where the nuts are, have you? (He looks up.) Oh Lord! It’s falling again! There, there… No, it’s not falling, but it’s as if cut in two…
SILAN (to Gradoboev). You hear what he’s saying.
KUROSLEPOV. Matryona! Silan! Hey! Anyone alive here!
Matryona appears in the doorway of the wing.
SIDORENKO (barring her way). It’s not permitted!
MATRYONA. Aie! (She goes off into the wing.)
KUROSLEPOV. So, somebody’s getting killed. Just try and live here. Stealing in the house and robbing outside. It’s clear the last days have come, that crack in the sky had a reason.
GRADOBOEV. That’s enough of your forecasting! Come here, we’ve been waiting for you a long time.
KUROSLEPOV. What kind of man are you?
GRADOBOEV. Come down, I tell you! We don’t have time to waste.
KUROSLEPOV. Ah! So it’s you! Well, now I feel a lot better. But it’s happened again, brother… a whole bag of nuts.
GRADOBOEV. It’ll be found.
KUROSLEPOV. Yes, that’s what you always say, it’ll be found, but nothing ever gets found. You promised…
GRADOBOEV. Well, I have news for you. Your money’s been found, only it’s awkward to take it.
KUROSLEPOV. How come?
GRADOBOEV. You’ll see for yourself! Let’s go together.
KUROSLEPOV. Let’s go.
GRADOBOEV. Zhigunov, bring your command. Forward, march!
Zhigunov and several soldiers march into the wing.
KUROSLEPOV. Stop!
GRADOBOEV (to Zhigunov). Halt!
KUROSLEPOV. There’s something I want to ask you, to put my mind at rest… Look up.
GRADOBOEV. I’m looking.
KUROSLEPOV. Did the sky crack? Is it a little on the slant?
GRADOBOEV. What do you think I am, an astronomer or something? I’m busy up to my neck without that. If it’s cracked, let them fix it. What does that have to do with us! March!
The door to the wing opens. Matryona appears in an overcoat and hat.
SIDORENKO (not letting her by). Not permitted.
KUROSLEPOV. Now my death has come! Whatever wonders happened to me before, this never did. No, it’s clear enough, my friend, no matter how hard I try, I can’t get away from it all. Because, look! Here I am with you, but over there, on the threshold, there I am again.
Matryona, catching sight of her husband, disappears into the wing.
GRADOBOEV. You’ll see more than that, just wait! March!
Zhigunov and the soldiers go off into the wing, Gradoboev and Kuroslepov following.
ARISTARKH (to Vasya). Now, Vasily, your affairs are taking a turn for the better.
VASYA. And I’m going to be strict with him, because he shouldn’t dare put me to shame! I’ll get even with him for taking away my honor… He would have put me in the army, and all because of him I’d have been in bondage. But now, the way things have worked out, I can be bold and demand his daughter. We may be little people, but what right does that give him to stain our name! No, now he can give me his daughter. Everybody knows I climbed over the fence to see her, you can’t keep that a secret in our town. So what it means is, I’m her fiancé. That’s the custom with us.
ARISTARKH. Do what’s best for you, brother.
VASYA. For I’m a man with character, Aristarkh, a lot of it. And people like us aren’t going to let anyone step all over us.
Out of the wing come Gradoboev; Kuroslepov; Matryona; Narkis, bound; Zhigunov and the soldiers.
GRADOBOEV (to Kuroslepov). Do you understand now?
KUROSLEPOV. Why shouldn’t I understand? I wasn’t born yesterday. Well, Matryona Kharitonovna, what do you have to say for yourself?
MATRYONA. Do you think I did it of my own free will? You can see yourself, it was the devil mixed me up. The whole blame should be put on him. He mixed me up, mixed me up, that’s what it was…No matter how hard I fought against him, no matter how I asserted myself, you can see how strong he is… He can rock mountains, let alone us sinners in our weakness.
KUROSLEPOV. Is that so? Mountains… Yesterday you were preaching at us that at your father’s it was better than anywhere, that they do all kinds of things for you there, so now you can just go hotfooting it to him!
MATRYONA. Of course. And I ought to enter a complaint about you. Who is there here to stand up for me! At least I can complain to my father that you put me to shame. Since you’ve been a scoundrel to me all my life here, what more could I expect from you? And what’s more, we’ll take you to court for a big trial.
KUROSLEPOV. That’s not so frightening. For now you ought to hide your nose in your pillow for shame. And tomorrow, as soon as it’s light, we’ll send you off.
Matryona goes off.
GRADOBOEV. That’s how to do it, good for you.
KUROSLEPOV (to Narkis). And what do you say about it?
NARKIS. A fat lot I care.
KUROSLEPOV. You’re not going to be praised for that.
NARKIS. Well, whatever happens, at least I’ve had some fun. It’s a shame I didn’t join up with those robbers! That’s my real calling.
GRADOBOEV. So then, what are we going to do with him? Make a decree and get the business started in proper form?
KUROSLEPOV. What for, why dirty up your paper? Tell them to take him to jail. We’ll put him in the army instead of Vaska, and that’s the end of it!
GRADOBOEV. Sidorenko, take him to jail and let the witnesses go. Hey you, soldiers! March home!
They go off, taking Narkis with them.
VASYA. But really, what is all this! Why were you against me when I was innocent all the time? Do you think that’s good, to wrong me like this!
KUROSLEPOV. I did wrong, brother! I was in too much of a hurry. You’ll have to be in the army, only not right away. Well, all right then, since you’re innocent, you can have fun for a while, till your turn comes.
GRADOBOEV. So, I have your money here, you and I’ll divide it up tomorrow. You remember our conversation, how you insulted me, and we’ll settle that then. But right now it would be a good thing to wet our whistle after our labors, drink a toast to what we’ve recovered.
KUROSLEPOV. Silanty, tell them to bring champagne.
SiIan goes off.
GRADOBOEV. So now you’ll lead a normal life, your daughter in charge of the household, and you be sure to take a good son-in-law into the house.
KUROSLEPOV. Daughter! My daughter ran away.
GRADOBOEV. That’s something you saw in a dream.
KUROSLEPOV. What’s that again!
ARISTARKH. It was a dream, Your Excellency.
KUROSLEPOV. What are you talking about!
Silan enters.
Where’s my daughter?
SILAN. Where should she be! As everybody knows, she’s home.
Parasha enters with a bottle of champagne and a glass on a tray.
Here she comes now with something to drink.
KUROSLEPOV. Wait! (He leads Gradoboev aside.) Listen, be my friend, I beg you with tears in my eyes, tell me honestly: have I gone absolutely crazy or is there a spark of sanity left inside me? If I’m absolutely crazy, then you better put me behind bars so I won’t mix with people.
GRADOBOEV. Look me in the eye! No, it’s too early for you yet behind bars, you can still have some fun. I’ll tell you when.
KUROSLEPOV. Well, all right. (To Parasha.) Serve our guests. You’d better get used to being lady of the house.
Parasha pours a glass and gives it to Aristarkh.
That just shows how little you know. Serve people in order of rank.
PARASHA. I don’t know those ranks of yours, I’m serving first the one who loves me most. If I’m lady of the house then don’t give me lessons. (She serves Gradoboev.)
GRADOBOEV (drinks). Really, brother, you ought to marry her off, it’s time. Everything tells me it’s time.
Parasha serves her father.
KUROSLEPOV. Do you want to get married?
PARASHA. Why not! Only I’ll tell you ahead of time, so we won’t have an argument! Give me the man I love myself. Don’t you try forcing me against my will! For if I get married against my will, then, with the kind of heart I have, don’t expect any good from it.
GRADOBOEV. So that’s what she’s like! I say, marry her off quick!
A loud knock at the gate.
SILAN. Now who! (He opens up.)
Gavrilo runs in.
GAVRILO (not noticing Parasha). Good Lord! I’m exhausted! Pavlin Pavlinych! I’m all out of breath! There’s trouble!
KUROSLEPOV. What happened, did you break loose from the gallows?
GAVRILO. Worse than that! They took her away, they took her out of my hands!
KUROSLEPOV. Who?
GAVRILO. Your daughter, your Praskovya Pavlinovna! I was running to help her, but he took a shot at me with a pistol. But that doesn’t matter! I’d gladly give my life for her, but he didn’t kill me, he didn’t kill me.
KUROSLEPOV. I can see he didn’t kill you.
GAVRILO. I organized two villages, and we searched the whole woods, but there wasn’t anyone, he’d carried her off. They took her out of my hands, out of my hands… Pavlin Pavlinych! (He bows.)
KUROSLEPOV. Now what should I do with him? Try water from the tub on him?
GAVRILO. Oh God, my friends! It was an evil fate that made me take her along, fool that I was! What for me was dearer than anything in the world, what I would guard like the apple of my eye… I think I could spend all day just blowing every speck of dust off her. And here just like that they took her from me…
KUROSLEPOV. Well, Gavrilka, I can see you and I’ll have to be chained together!
GAVRILO. You forgive me, for God’s sake! I just ran in to tell you, and so for me there’s only one thing left…From the bridge, from the bridge! From the very middle and with a rock. Forgive me, Orthodox Christians, if in some way there’s somebody I’ve… (Catching sight of Parasha.) Oh! (He wants to run away.)
SILAN (stopping him). Hold on there! Where are you going? That’s quite a joke, your bridge there!… Some calamity you thought up! But I’m not going to let you… There’s no good in that, believe me.
Aristarkh goes up to Gavrilo and whispers in his ear.
PARASHA. It’s all right, it’ll pass off. He’s unhappy because they took away his job. (She serves Gradoboev.) Please!
KUROSLEPOV. You ought to have another bottle brought for us.
PARASHA. It’ll be brought right away. Silanty! Get a bottle from the hallway.
Silan goes off.
Just now I began to say something, but I didn’t finish. (To her father.) You give me your absolute promise you won’t make me marry somebody who’s not dear to me.
GRADOBOEV. Yes, and we’ll be witnesses.
KUROSLEPOV. I’ll give it to you right now if you want. Tell me the man you love, and you can marry him.
PARASHA. The man I love? Tell you that? Well, all right, I’ll tell! (She takes Vasya by the hand.) Here’s the man I love.
GAVRILO (wipes away tears). Well, thank God!
VASYA. Yes, now you can speak right out.
PARASHA. And now I will speak right out. (To her father.) Here’s how much I love this man. When you wanted to send him into the army, even then I wanted to marry him, I wasn’t afraid to be a soldier’s wife.
GAVRILO. That’s good, everything’s fine now.
PARASHA. And now, when he’s free, and I have the money, and there’ll be a dowry, and nobody to stop us…
GAVRILO. God grant it!
PARASHA. Now I’d marry him only I’m afraid he’d leave his wife to become a dancer. So I won’t marry him even if you cover me with gold from head to foot. He couldn’t manage to take me when I was poor, so he won’t when I’m rich. But here is the man I’m going to marry. (She takes Gavrilo.)
GAVRILO. No, no, Miss! You made a mistake. That’s not it at all, Miss.
PARASHA (to her father). If you won’t give me to him, then we’ll run off and get married. He doesn’t have any money nor do I. But we won’t let that frighten us. We’ll manage somehow. At least we could deal in rotten apples at bazaars, but we won’t go into bondage to anybody! But what means most to me is to know for sure that he’ll love me. I saw him for one day, but I’ll entrust myself to him for the rest of my life.
GAVRILO. But that’s impossible, how can you say that!
PARASHA. And why is it impossible?
GAVRILO. What kind of a match am I for you! Am I really an honest-to-goodness man, like the others?
PARASHA. And why aren’t you an honest-to-goodness man?
GAVRILO. That’s how it is, Miss, I’m not a complete man. I’ve been grabbed a lot by the back of the neck, from the very start to this very day, so I’ve a lot of feelings knocked out of me, the kind a man ought to have. I can’t walk straight ahead, can’t look people in the eye, can’t do anything.
GRADOBOEV. That’s all right. You’ll get straightened out after a while.
KUROSLEPOV. Well, all right then, marry Gavrilka. There’ll be more honor in the house than there’s been so far.
PARASHA. Thank you, Daddy, for remembering me, a poor orphan. It’s been many years now, but this is the first I can bow to you with the feeling a daughter ought to have. For a long time I’ve been a stranger to you, but it wasn’t my fault. I don’t want to force my love on you, but if you want my love, then try to cherish it. Godfather, we’ll take you on as assistant in place of Narkis. You can move in tomorrow.
Silan brings some wine.
KUROSLEPOV. You didn’t even ask me.
PARASHA. If it’s something I don’t know about, I’ll ask, but if it’s something I know about, why should I ask?
KUROSLEPOV. Well, all right, you do the managing, you do the managing.
PARASHA (serving the wine). Please!
GRADOBOEV. Congratulate the bride and groom!
KUROSLEPOV. So, children, may God grant you a better fate than ours.
GAVRILO. We humbly thank you, sir. (To Parasha.) But is this all really true, Miss?
GRADOBOEV. Now that we’ve drunk to it, that means it’s all settled.
KUROSLEPOV. How many days are there in this month, thirty-seven or thirty-eight?
GRADOBOEV. Whatever it is, it seemed like a long month.
KUROSLEPOV. It was long all right.
GRADOBOEV. But why keep count! No matter how many days it adds up to, you still have to live to the next month.
KUROSLEPOV. Yes, of course, you have to. Only it’s been an unlucky month for me. What’ll the new one be like? What only didn’t happen to me this month! Money stolen, people not paying their debts; yesterday I thought the end of the world was here, today the sky kept falling, and twice I dreamed I was in hell.
GRADOBOEV. Did they judge you worthy of acceptance?
PARASHA. Well, dear guests, I can see it’s Daddy’s bedtime. He’s already begun to say this, that, and the other.
GRADOBOEV. Well, good-bye. When’s the betrothal going to be?
PARASHA. Give us a little time to put things in order, and we’ll send out invitations. Good-bye, Godfather. Good-bye, Vasya. Don’t be mad at us, visit us.
All leave.
(To her father.) So, good night, Daddy. Sleep, and God be with you! And now I’ve lived to see beautiful days, now I’m going to stay out in the open all night long with my darling under our little tree, and I’ll tell him openly whatever I, a young maiden, want to say. He and I’ll chirp together like the swallows till the clear dawn itself. Then the little birds will wake up, and they’ll start chirping their way, it’ll be their turn, and then we’ll part and go home.
She embraces Gavrilo. They sit down on the bench under the tree.
CURTAIN
NOTES
1. F.A. Burdin, a friend of Ostrovsky and an actor in St. Petersburg, was responsible for the predating of the play’s action. The censor felt that the portrayal of the chief of police had too much contemporary relevance. Burdin managed to get the play through censorship by predating the action on his own, notifying Ostrovsky later. We need not take too seriously the fact that the office of gorodnichii (chief of police) was abolished in 1862, and we can safely assume that the play reflects the recent past relative to 1869. It is of incidental interest that the play reflects a certain amount of social change in the decade following Ostrovsky’s writing of The Thunderstorm. See next note.
2. Kalinov is a fictitious place. Ostrovsky used the same place name for his earlier play The Thunderstorm (written in 1859, published in 1860).
3. A folksong with several variants, dating as early as 1799.
4. Described is a dramatization of an old Russian folksong “Down Mother Volga” (Vniz po matushke po Volge). The actors are ataman (Cossack chief), pirates, a rich landowner and his family. This dramatization has been dated as early as 1814.
5. A play (Dvumuzhnitsa, 1832) by Alexander A. Shakhovskoi (1777-1846).
6. A variant of a folksong recorded by T.I. Filippov (40 narodnykh pesen, Moscow, 1882).
7. Ostrovsky had noted such a custom in the town Torzhok (considered by some a model for the fictional town Kalinov) when he participated in an ethnological expedition in the upper Volga valley in 1856-57.
8. A romance in the repertory of tavern guitarists. Recorded as early as 1839.
9. At one time brigands took refuge in the Bryn woods, dense woods along the Bryn River in Kaluga Province.
10. From the song “Don’t rage, stormy winds” (Ne bushuite, vetry buinye).
11. As the text suggests, it was possible for a recruit to avoid army service by hiring a volunteer replacement or by buying an exemption from the government.