bear some weight on legs when held uprightSeven- and eight-month-old babies are busy babies. Busy practicing skills they’ve already mastered (such as crawling, perhaps) and skills they’re eager to master (such as pulling up). Busy playing (which, with vastly improved dexterity in those chubby little fingers and hands, is at least twice as much fun, and, with greater ability to focus, is at least twice as absorbing). Busy exploring, discovering, learning, and, as a budding sense of humor emerges, laughing, a lot. This month, baby continues to experiment with vowels and consonants and may even string together those combos you’ve been waiting for (“ma-ma” or “da-da”) by month’s end. Comprehension is still very limited, but baby’s starting to pick up the meaning of a few words—fortunately “no,” a word that will come in handy in the months to come, will be one of the first understood (if not complied with). Socializing with a mirror is a favorite activity, though baby doesn’t yet recognize who that “friend” in the reflection actually is.
All babies reach milestones on their own developmental time line. If your baby seems not to have reached one or more of these milestones, rest assured, he or she probably will very soon. Your baby’s rate of development is normal for your baby. Keep in mind, too, that it may have been slowed down in certain departments (such as crawling) if baby didn’t spend much time playing on his or her belly. (Some babies skip crawling altogether, and that’s fine, too.) If you have concerns about your baby’s development (because you’ve noticed a missed milestone or what you think might be a developmental delay), don’t hesitate to check it out with the doctor at the next well-baby visit—even if he or she doesn’t bring it up. Parents often notice nuances in a baby’s development that doctors don’t. Premature infants generally reach milestones later than others of the same birth age, often achieving them closer to their adjusted age (the age they would be if they had been born at term), and sometimes later.
By eight months, your baby … should be able to:
bear some weight on legs when held upright
feed self a cracker
rake with fingers an object and pick it up in fist (keep all dangerous objects out of baby’s reach)
turn in the direction of a voice
look for a dropped object
… will probably be able to:
pass a cube or other object from one hand to the other
stand holding on to someone or something
object if you try to take a toy away
work to get a toy that’s out of reach
play peekaboo
get into a sitting position from stomach
… may possibly be able to:
creep or crawl1
pull up to standing position from sitting
pick up tiny object with any part of thumb and finger (keep all dangerous objects out of baby’s reach)
say “mama” or “dada” indiscriminately
… may even be able to:
play patty-cake (clap hands) or wave bye-bye
walk holding on to furniture (cruise)
stand alone momentarily
understand “no” (but not always obey it)
By the eighth month, a few babies can pick up small objects using the thumb and forefinger.
Most doctors do not schedule regular well-baby checkups this month. That’s probably just as well, since most babies this age don’t enjoy holding still for them—or for anything. Do call the doctor if there are any concerns that can’t wait until next month’s visit.
For most parents, the novelty of feeding their babies soon wears as thin as the rice cereal they’ve been struggling to direct into those little mouths. The lips willfully clenched, the head turned away just at the critical moment (splat!), the pudgy hand intercepting and overturning the spoon just before it reaches its destination (more splat!), and the sheer tedium of repeating this messy ritual three times a day (splat! splat! splat!), makes these parents ready to relinquish the role they couldn’t wait to take on a few months earlier. Fortunately, the opportunity to throw in the spoon presents itself fairly quickly. Most babies are not only eager but able to begin finger foods by the time they are seven to eight months old.
The transition is more sudden than gradual. Once babies discover they can get food into their mouths independently, the number of foods that they can expertly express to the mouth increases rapidly. At first, most babies hold the rice cake or piece of bread in the fist and munch on it that way, not having learned yet to coordinate individual fingers for pickup and transport. When the problem of how to get that last piece of food wrapped tightly in the palm into the mouth arises, they may demonstrate their frustration with a tearful outburst. The solution for some is to open the hand flat against the mouth, for others to put the food down and pick it up again with more of it exposed.
The ability to position an object between thumb and forefinger in the pincer grip doesn’t develop in most babies until between nine and twelve months of age—though some perfect their pincers earlier and others later. Once this skill is mastered, it allows a baby to pick up very small objects, such as peas and pennies, and bring them to the mouth, considerably expanding the dining repertoire—and the risk of choking.
Learning to handle finger foods is usually the first step on the road to dinner table independence. At first, finger foods merely supplement a young child’s diet; as facility with self-feeding grows, a large proportion of the daily intake will be delivered by baby’s own hand. Some will learn to wield a spoon respectably well by the middle of the second year or even sooner, and will switch to this more civilized style of eating; others will continue to get most of their meals to their mouths (even such dubious finger fare as oatmeal and cottage cheese) via the fingers for a long time to come. A few, usually those who were never allowed to do it themselves because of the time or mess involved, will insist on being fed long after they are capable of feeding themselves.
The foods that qualify for first finger-food honors are those that baby can gum to swallowable consistency or that will dissolve in the mouth without chewing, and that have been well received in pureed form on earlier tries. Most of these foods should be cut into manageable cubes or chunks—pea size for firmer items, marble size for softer foods. Good choices include a whole-wheat bagel, whole-grain bread or toast, rice cakes or other crackers that become mushy in the mouth; oat circle cereals, wheat or rice puffs; tiny cubes of natural (but pasteurized) cheese, such as Swiss, Cheddar, Edam, Havarti; chunks of ripe banana, very ripe pear, peach, apricot, cantaloupe, honeydew, or mango; small chunks of cooked-to-very-tender carrot, white or sweet potato, yam, broccoli or cauliflower (flowerets only), peas (cut in half or crushed); flakes of broiled, baked, or poached fish (but screen carefully for bones); soft meatballs (cook in sauce or soup so they don’t get crusty); well-cooked pasta of various sizes and shapes (break up before or cut after cooking, as necessary) if they contain no ingredients that baby isn’t allowed yet; scrambled or hard-cooked egg yolk (and once baby can have the whites, whole eggs); cubes of soft-cooked French toast or whole-wheat pancakes (again, made at first with yolk only, then, as whites are introduced, with whole eggs). About the same time you add finger foods, you can add more texture to the other foods baby is eating by using commercial toddler foods, or table foods that are chopped or mashed but that contain small, soft chunks baby can gum.
To serve finger foods, scatter four or five pieces onto an unbreakable plate or directly onto baby’s feeding tray, and replace as baby eats them. Beginning eaters, confronted by too much food, especially all in one spot, may respond either by trying to stuff all of it in their mouth at once or by sending it all to the floor with one deft swipe. As with other foods, finger foods should be fed only to a baby who is seated, and not to one who is crawling, cruising, or toddling around.
Because of the danger of choking, don’t give your baby foods that won’t dissolve in the mouth, can’t be mashed with the gums, or can be easily sucked into the windpipe. Avoid uncooked raisins, popcorn, nuts, whole peas, raw firm-fleshed vegetables (carrots, bell peppers) or fruits (apples, unripe pears, grapes), chunks of meat or poultry, or hot dogs (most varieties are too high in sodium and additives, anyway).
Once the molars come in (the first teeth are for biting, and don’t improve your child’s ability to chew), somewhere around the end of the year for early teethers, foods that require real chewing can be added, such as raw apples (cut into very small pieces) and other firm-fleshed raw fruits and vegetables, small slices of meat and poultry (cut across the grain), and seedless grapes (skinned and halved). But hold off until age three on such common choking hazards as raw carrots, popcorn, nuts, and hot dogs. Introduce them only when your baby is chewing well.
No matter what the texture, there are some types of food that you shouldn’t be in a hurry to introduce your baby to: junk foods that offer little nutrition, foods prepared with lots of added sugar or salt, and refined breads or cereals. Your child will certainly meet up with them soon enough, but hopefully by then the wholesome early eating experiences you’ve been providing will have laid a solid foundation for future dietary habits. That doesn’t mean that your child won’t ever have a taste for French fries, white bread, and doughnuts—just that he or she will also have a taste for the good stuff.
“My baby has started saying ‘ma-ma’ a lot. We were all excited until we read that she’s probably just making sounds without understanding their meaning. Is that true?”
Only your baby knows for sure, and she isn’t telling, at least not yet. Just when a baby makes the transition from sounds that mimic real words but have no meaning to meaningful speech is difficult to pinpoint exactly. Your baby may just be practicing her “m” sounds now, or she may be calling for mommy, but it really doesn’t matter which. The important thing is that she’s vocalizing and attempting to imitate sounds she hears. Many babies, of course, say “da-da” first—not a sign of favoritism, just a reflection of the consonant a baby has found easiest to pronounce initially.
In many languages the words for male and female parents sound very similar. Daddy, pappa, papa, pita, vater, abba. Mommy, mama, mummy, maataa, mutter, imma. It’s a good bet that they all developed from babies’ earliest mouthing of syllables, picked up on by eager parents trying to recognize their baby’s first word. When, long ago, a young Spanish baby uttered her first “ma-ma,” complaining in the fashion typical of babies, her proud mother probably was certain she was calling “madre.” And when an early French infant first vocalized “pa-pa,” his father probably puffed up his chest and said, “He’s trying to say père.”
When the first real word is spoken varies a great deal, and is, of course, subject to less-than-objective parental interpretation. According to the experts, the average baby can be expected to say what she means and mean what she says for the first time anywhere between ten and fourteen months. A small percentage of children start a couple of months earlier and some perfectly normal babies don’t utter a single recognizable word until midway through their second year, at least as far as anyone can tell. Often, however, a baby may already be using syllables, alone and in combination, to represent objects (“ba” for bottle, “ba-ba” for bye-bye, or “daw” for dog), but her parents may not be tuned in enough to notice until the enunciation becomes clearer. A child who is very busy developing motor skills—one who, perhaps, crawls and walks early, is involved in learning to climb stairs and ride a play fire engine—may be slower than less active babies in starting to vocalize. This is nothing to worry about as long as it’s clear from behavior that a lot of the familiar words he or she hears are being understood.
Long before your baby utters her first word, she will be developing her linguistic skills. First, by learning to understand what is said. This receptive language starts developing at birth, with the first words your baby hears. Gradually, she begins to sort out individual words from the jumble of language around her, and then one day, about the middle of the first year, you say her name and she turns around. She’s recognized a word. Pretty soon thereafter she should begin to understand the names of other people and objects she sees daily, such as mommy, daddy, bottle, cup, bread. In a few months, or even earlier, she may begin to follow simple commands, such as “Give me a bite,” or “Wave bye-bye” or “Kiss Mommy.” This comprehension moves ahead at a much faster pace than speech itself and is an important forerunner to it. You can encourage both receptive and spoken language development every day in many ways (see page 368).
“Some of my friends are using baby signs to communicate with their baby—and it seems to work. But I’ve also heard that using sign language with my son can slow down the process of learning to speak. I’m confused.”
You can see it in sandboxes and strollers across the country: Babies are talking. Not in so many words, but in so many signs. Sign language, once used only among the deaf, is becoming a popular form of communication between children who can hear but can’t yet speak and their parents, who are anxious to understand them.
Though baby signing as a movement is relatively new, preverbal babies have always used hand gestures and motions in an effort to express what they weren’t able to through speech. A baby who points to the refrigerator when he’s hungry or thirsty or to his coat when he wants to go outside is communicating through signs. So is a baby who pulls his ear when he sees a bunny in a book, or waves to let his parents know that he wants to go byebye. Hand games, like “patty-cake,” and finger songs, like “itsy-bitsy spider,” have been favorites for generations because they allow babies to play along even though they’re not able to sing along.
But the signs babies use instinctually aren’t always readily comprehended by their parents. This communication gap results in frustration on both sides as babies struggle to be understood and parents struggle to understand. That’s why some linguistic experts have proposed a system of parent-baby communication that bridges that gap: baby signing.
Baby signing offers many advantages. The most notable, of course, is that as it increases comprehension—allowing a nine- or ten-month-old baby to let his parents know exactly what he needs and wants long before he’s able to express it in words—it decreases frustration. Better communication leads to smoother interaction (read: fewer temper tantrums), putting more quality into their quality time together. Knowing that he’s understood also bolsters a child’s self-esteem (“What I have to say matters”), making him not only a more confident person but a more confident communicator. This confidence translates, eventually, in an increased motivation to speak. (Think about it this way: If you were struggling to speak the language in a foreign country, and the natives took pains to understand you, you’d be more motivated to continue your efforts.) Research disputes the idea that babies who use signs will be slower in their development of spoken language skills; in fact, two-year-olds who signed as babies have, on average, a bigger vocabulary than those who did not use baby signs.
The advantages of baby signing, however, seem mostly to be short-term. Though the child who has signed certainly has an easier time communicating early on, that edge, most research shows, doesn’t seem to last into the school years. Once a child can speak and be understood, the benefits of having used signs diminish and eventually disappear. So don’t use baby signs because you think it will make your son smarter or more developmentally advanced; use it, if you choose to, because it will help you communicate better with him now.
If you’d like to use baby signs, here’s how:
Get an early start on signing. Begin as soon as your baby shows an active interest in communicating with you—at least by eight or nine months, though there’s no harm in getting into the signing habit earlier. Most babies will start signing back somewhere between ten and fourteen months.
Sign what comes naturally. Develop a natural sign language that works for you and your baby. Any simple gesture that fits a word or phrase well can work (flapping arms for “bird,” for instance, or scratching under the arms for “monkey”; hands together and supporting a tilted head for “sleep,” a rubbed belly for “hungry,” a cupped hand placed up to the mouth for “drink,” a finger touched to the nose for “smell”). Although you can use ASL (American Sign Language), some experts believe it is not as easy for babies to learn as a natural sign language.
Give your baby the signs he needs. The most important signs to develop and learn will be the ones your baby requires to express his everyday needs, such as hunger, thirst, and fatigue.
Sign consistently. By seeing the same signs over and over, your baby will come to understand them and imitate them quickly.
Speak and sign at the same time. To make sure your baby learns both the sign and the spoken word, use both together.
Sign up the whole family. The more people in your baby’s life who can speak his language, the happier he’ll be. Siblings, grandparents, care providers, and anyone else who spends a lot of time with your baby should be familiar with at least the most important signs.
Follow your baby’s signs. Many babies invent their own signs. If yours does, always use the signs of his design, which are more meaningful to him.
Don’t push the signs. Signing, like all forms of communication, should develop naturally and at a child’s own pace. Babies learn best through experience, not through formal instruction. If your baby seems frustrated by the signs, resists using them, or just shows signs of sign overload, don’t force the agenda.
While signing can make life a little easier during the preverbal stage, it’s certainly not necessary for good parent-child communication, vital for a good parent-child relationship, or critical for language development. So if an official signing system doesn’t feel comfortable for you or seem to work for your baby, don’t feel compelled to create or use it. Parents have been figuring out what their children have to say for millennia without the benefit of formal baby signs (usually because they become adept at reading a variety of nonverbal signals, from gestures to grunting)—and you can, too.
“My sister’s baby started crawling at six months. My son’s almost eight months, and he hasn’t shown any interest in crawling. Is he delayed developmentally?”
It’s never fair to compare, but especially when it comes to crawling, which is considered only an optional skill and not one by which overall development can be gauged. Some babies crawl as early as six months (especially if they’ve spent plenty of supervised playtime on their bellies), but closer to nine months is typical. More babies are crawling later these days (because of less time spent on their bellies), and a significant minority never crawl at all. Neither is cause for concern as long as other important developmental milestones are being reached (such as sitting—a skill babies must master before they can even tackle crawling). Those who opt not to crawl are limited in mobility only briefly—until they figure out how to pull up, to cruise (from chair to coffee table to sofa), and finally to walk. In fact, many babies who never take to crawling end up walking earlier than proficient crawlers, who may be content for months on all fours. Because crawling, unlike sitting or pulling up, is not a predictable part of the developmental pattern, it isn’t included on most assessment scales.
Even among babies who do crawl, styles vary. Moving about on the belly, or creeping, is usually a precursor to moving about on the hands or knees, or crawling, though some babies stick to creeping. Many begin crawling backward or sideways, and don’t get the hang of going forward for weeks. Some scoot on one knee or on their bottom, and others travel on hands and feet, a stage that many babies reach just before walking. The method a baby chooses to get from one point to another is much less important than the fact that he’s making an effort to achieve independent locomotion. (If, however, he does not seem to be using both sides of his body—arms and legs—equally, check with his doctor.)
Some babies start off dragging themselves around on their belly. While many graduate to hands-and-knees crawling, a few will cling to creeping until they’re up on their feet.
A cross between crawling and walking, the hands-and-feet posture may be one that baby settles on at first and sticks with, or one that evolves into a precursor of walking.
Hands-and-knees locomotion is the classic crawling technique. Some babies are so content zipping around this way that they don’t bother with walking for months to come.
Some babies don’t crawl because they haven’t been given the chance. A baby who passes most of his day confined in a crib, stroller, baby carrier, play yard, and/or ExerSaucer or lying on his back won’t learn how to raise himself on all fours or put his hands and knees in motion. Be sure your baby spends plenty of supervised time on the floor on his tummy (don’t worry about dirt as long as the floor has been swept or vacuumed free of small particles and cleared of dangerous objects). To encourage him to move forward, try putting a favorite toy or interesting object a short distance ahead of him. Do cover his knees, however, since bare knees on a cold, hard floor or a scratchy carpet can be uncomfortable and might even discourage your baby from attempting to crawl. Wean him from the stationary walker if he’s using one, and limit play yard exile to times when you can’t supervise him.
One way or another, in the next few months, your baby will be taking off—and off into trouble—and you’ll be left wondering, “Why was I in such a hurry?”
“Our little girl scoots around on her bottom instead of crawling. She gets around, but it looks strange.”
For a baby eager and determined to get from one place to another, form and grace are of little consequence. And they should be to you, too. As long as your baby is attempting to get around on her own, it doesn’t matter how. You need be concerned only if your baby seems unable to coordinate both sides of her body, in other words, can’t move her arms and legs in sync. This could be a sign of a motor disability, for which early treatment can be very helpful.
“Now that my son is crawling around and pulling up on everything, I can’t keep up with the mess he makes. Should I try to control him—and the mess—better, or give up?”
Clutter may be your worst enemy, but it’s an adventurous baby’s best friend. A home that is kept compulsively tidy provides about as much interest and challenge to a baby who’s newly mobile as a pond would to Christopher Columbus or a suburban parking lot to Lewis and Clark. Within the parameters of reason (you needn’t let baby dismantle your checkbook or reprogram your Palm Pilot) and safety, your child needs to flex and extend his curiosity as he exercises his muscles. Letting him roam—and mess—freely is as important to his intellectual growth as it is to his physical development. Accepting this reality is important to your mental health; parents of young children who fight it, struggling to keep the house as neat as it was pre-baby, are in for a disappointment—as well as overwhelming frustration and anxiety.
You can, however, take some steps to make coping with the reality easier:
Start with a safe house. While it may be okay for him to scatter underwear on the bedroom floor or build a house of napkins on the kitchen linoleum, it isn’t okay for him to clang liquor bottles together to see what happens or to empty the chlorine cleanser on the rug. So before you let your baby loose, be sure to make the house safe for him and from him (see page 402).
Contain the chaos. The compulsive side of you will be a lot happier if you try to confine the mess to one or two rooms or areas in the home. That means letting your baby have free run only in his own room and perhaps the kitchen, family room, or living room—wherever you and he spend the most time together. Use closed doors or baby-safe gates to define the areas. If you have a small apartment, of course, you may not be able to place such restrictions on your baby; instead, you may have to resign yourself to daily messes and nightly cleanups.
Also reduce the potential for mess by wedging books in tightly on shelves accessible to your baby, leaving a few of his indestructible books where he can reach them and take them out easily; sealing some of the more vulnerable cabinets and drawers (especially those that contain breakables, valuables, or hazards) with childproof safety locks; keeping most knickknacks off low tables, leaving only a few you don’t mind him playing with. Set aside a special drawer or cabinet for him to call his own, and fill it with such fun items as paper cups and plates, wooden spoons, a metal cup or pot, plastic measuring cups and empty boxes.
Don’t feel guilty about not letting your baby adorn the bathroom with lipstick or shaving cream, tear the pages out of your favorite books, empty boxes of cereal all over the kitchen floor, and generally redecorate your home as he pleases. Setting limits will not only help save your sanity but also help your baby’s development—children really do thrive when limits are set for them—and teach him the important lesson that other people, even parents, have possessions and rights, too.
Restrain yourself. Don’t follow your baby around as he wreaks havoc, putting away everything he takes out. This will frustrate him, giving him the sense that everything he does is not only unacceptable but essentially in vain. And it will frustrate you if he immediately redoes the damage you’ve just undone. Instead, do the serious cleaning up twice a day, once at the end of his morning play period while he’s napping or in his play yard or high chair, and once at the end of the afternoon or after he’s in bed.
Teach him a lesson in neatness—over and over again. Don’t do your intensive cleanups with him around. But do pick up a couple of things with him at the end of each play session, making a point (even if he’s not old enough to get the point) of saying, “Now, can you help Daddy pick this toy up and put it away?” Hand him one of the blocks to put back into the toy chest, give him a pot to return to the cabinet or some crumpled paper to throw into the wastebasket, and applaud each effort. Though he will be messing up a lot more often than he’ll be cleaning up for years to come, these early lessons will help him to understand—eventually—that what comes out must go back in.
Let him make a mess in peace. Don’t complain constantly about the mess baby is making or make him feel that expressing his natural and healthy curiosity (“If I turn this cup of milk over, what will happen?” “If I take all these clothes out of the drawer, what will I find underneath?”) is bad or means that he is bad. If it was something you would rather not see happen again, let him know—but as a teacher, not a judge.
You can’t beat him, but don’t join him. Don’t decide that since you’re fighting a losing battle anyway, you might as well let the mess mount and learn to ignore it. Living that way won’t help your morale and will be of no benefit to your baby. Though it’s healthy for a baby to be allowed to make a mess, it isn’t healthy for him to always be surrounded by disorder. It will give him a sense of security to know that even though he leaves an untidy world at bedtime, it will be returned to order come morning. And it will also make making a mess more fun and more fulfilling—what challenge is there, after all, in messing up a room that’s already a mess?
Set aside a sanctuary. You won’t always be able to keep up with damage left behind by your junior hurricane, but do try to preserve a place of calm in the midst of the storm—your bedroom or the den or living room, for instance—either by not permitting baby to play there or by making sure that it invariably gets picked up in the afternoon or evening. Then, at the end of every day, you will have a haven to escape to.
Play it safe. An exception to a let-the-mess-fall-where-it-may attitude should be made when it presents a threat to safety. If baby spills his juice or empties the dog’s water bowl, wipe it up immediately. Fresh spills turn an uncarpeted floor into a skating rink where falls are inevitable. Also pick up sheets of paper and magazines as soon as baby is through with them, and keep traffic lanes (stairways, especially) clear of toys, particularly those with wheels, at all times.
“My baby is always dropping her cracker on the floor and then picking it up and eating it. It seems so unsanitary—is it safe?”
Even if you don’t keep your floors “clean enough to eat off,” it’s safe for your baby to picnic on them. There are germs on the floor, but not in significant numbers. And for the most part, they’re germs your baby has been exposed to before, particularly if she frequently plays on the floor. The same is generally true of floors in other people’s homes, supermarkets, and department stores, although if your child’s recycling a cracker off a foreign floor offends your aesthetic sense, there’s nothing wrong with throwing it in the trash and replacing it with a fresh one. But keep in mind that every encounter with a virus or bacterium builds immunity and makes your baby stronger, so don’t worry the next time your baby gums the shopping cart handle.
There are exceptions, however. Although bacteria don’t have a chance to multiply much on dry surfaces, they can multiply very rapidly on those that are damp or wet. If you have the choice (in otther words, if you can intercept an item before it lands in her mouth), don’t let her eat food that’s been dropped in the bathroom, in puddles, or on other damp or wet surfaces. Moisture on food itself can also be a problem. A cracker or any food that’s been mouthed for a time, then left (even in a clean place) for a few hours while bacteria multiply, isn’t fit for consumption. So don’t leave wet discards lying around where your baby can pick them up again. You won’t always have the choice, of course; babies often reclaim long-lost foodstuffs (or sippy cups filled with three-day-old juice) and thrust them in their mouths before you can stop them. Fortunately, they rarely become ill as a result. Another exception: If your home has old lead paint that is in poor repair on the walls, floor picnics won’t be safe for your baby (see page 337).
Outdoors, too, you need to be vigilant. Though many a baby has dropped a bottle in the street and then returned it to her mouth without ill effect, there is certainly more risk of picking up nasty germs where dogs defecate and urinate and people expectorate. Replace or rinse any food, bottle, pacifier, or toy that has fallen into the street, especially if the ground is damp. Use wipes to clean a nipple or toy when running water is not available. In playgrounds, where dogs aren’t allowed and where adults usually have more sense than to spit, there’s probably less to worry about as long as the ground isn’t wet—a quick brush-off of surface dirt should suffice. But even there, puddles can harbor dangerous disease-causing germs, and babies as well as their toys and snacks should be kept away from them. To avoid having to choose between appeasing a screaming baby and playing it safe by discarding a snack that you aren’t sure is sanitary, always carry extras.
Do try to wash baby’s hands often (a good habit for her to get into early on anyway) or use wipes or antibacterial gels if there’s no soap and water nearby.
“My son puts everything in his mouth. Now that he plays on the floor so much, I have less control over what goes in. What’s safe and what isn’t?”
Into the mouths of babes goes anything and everything that fits: dirt, sand, dog food, insects, dustballs, rotten food, even the contents of a soiled diaper. Though it’s obviously best to avoid his sampling from such an unsavory smorgasbord, it’s not always possible. Few babies get through the creepy-crawly stage without at least one oral encounter with something his parents consider revolting; some can’t even get through a single morning.
But you’ve got a lot less to fear from what’s unsanitary than from what’s used to sanitize. A mouthful of dirt rarely hurts anyone, but even a lick of some cleansers can cause serious damage. You can’t keep everything out of baby’s inquisitive grasp, so concentrate on substances with the most harmful potential (see page 405 for a list), and concern yourself less with the occasional bug or clump of dog hair that finds its way into his mouth. If you do catch him with the cat-that-is-about-to-swallow-a-canary look, squeeze his cheeks with the thumb and forefinger of one hand to open his mouth, and sweep the object out with a hooked finger.
Of most concern—in addition to obviously toxic substances—are foods that are in the process of spoiling. Illness-causing bacteria or other microorganisms can multiply rapidly at room temperature, so be sure to keep food that’s gone bad or is about to—most often found in pet feeding bowls, in the kitchen garbage, and on an unswept kitchen or dining room floor—out of baby’s reach.
You should also be very careful not to let your baby mouth items small enough to swallow or choke on—buttons, bottle caps, paper clips, safety pins, pet kibble, coins, and so on. Before you put your baby down to play, survey the floor for anything that’s less than 1½ inches in diameter (about the diameter of a toilet paper tube) and remove it. Also put out of reach items that are potentially toxic, such as cleaning supplies. See Making Home Safe for Baby (page 402) for additional tips on what should be kept away from baby.
“My daughter would love to crawl around at the playground if I let her. But the ground is so dirty …”
Break out the stain remover, and break down your resistance to letting your daughter get down and dirty. Babies who are forced to watch from the sidelines when they’d really like to be in the scrimmage are likely to stay spotless but unsatisfied. Children are eminently washable. The most obvious soil can be removed with diaper wipes or premoistened towelettes while you’re still at the playground or in the backyard, and ground-in dirt will come off later in the bath. So ignore the slight to your sensibilities and, checking first to be sure there’s no broken glass or dog droppings in her path, allow your little sport a carefully supervised crawl around. If she gets into something really dirty, give her hands a once-over with a diaper wipe and send her on her way again.
Not all babies enjoy getting dirty; some would rather be spectators than players. If yours is one of these, be sure she isn’t hesitating because she thinks you don’t want her to get dirty. Encourage her to gradually become more active, but don’t force her.
Soft shoes or sneakers will protect her feet when she’s crawling on concrete; on grass in warm weather, bare feet are fine. It will be easier on her knees (though a challenge to your laundering skills) if she wears pants or overalls during these excursions. If you take pride in her looking fresh and clean in public, keep a set of play clothes in your diaper bag and change her into them before handing over her traveling papers; then wash her up and put her back into clean clothes before you set off again.
“When I’m diapering my baby, he sometimes gets an erection. Am I handling his penis too much?”
As long as you’re handling his penis only as much as it needs to be handled to be cleansed at diaper changes and bath times, you’re not handling it too much. Your son’s erections are the normal reaction to touch of a sensitive sexual organ—as are a little girl’s clitoral erections, which are less noticeable but probably as common. A baby may also have an erection when his diaper rubs against his penis, when he’s nursing, or when you’re washing him in the bathtub. All baby boys have erections sometimes (though their parents may not be aware of them), but some have them more often than others. Such erections require no particular notice on your part.
“My daughter has recently started playing with her genitals whenever her diaper is off. Is this normal at such an early age?”
If it feels good, humans do it. Which is what Mother Nature banked on when she created genitals; if she made them pleasurable to touch, they would be touched, at first by their owner and eventually, when the time was ripe, by a member of the opposite sex—thereby ensuring the perpetuation of the species.
Babies are sexual beings from birth or, more accurately, from before birth—male fetuses have been observed having erections in the uterus. Some, like your baby, begin fledgling explorations into their sexuality in the middle of the first year, others not until year’s end. This interest is as inevitable and healthy a part of a baby’s development as fascination with fingers and toes was earlier. Trying to stifle such curiosity (as generations past have felt obliged to do) is as misguided as stifling her interest in fingers and toes.
No matter what anyone may tell you, there is no harm—either physical or psychological—in babies or children touching their own genitals. Making a baby or child feel that she’s “dirty” or “bad” for engaging in such play, however, can be harmful and have a negative effect on future sexuality and self-esteem. Making self-stimulation taboo can also make it more inviting.
The fear that fingers that touch their genitals aren’t clean enough to go into their mouths is also unfounded; all the germs that are in a baby’s genital area are her own and pose no threat. If, however, you see your little girl probing with very dirty hands, it would be a good idea to wash them, to avoid the possibility of a vaginal infection. A boy’s genitals are not susceptible in the same way, but both boys and girls should have their hands washed after they’ve touched a soiled diaper area.
When your baby gets old enough to understand, you will want to explain that this part of her body is private, and that though it’s okay for her to touch it, it isn’t okay for her to touch it in public or to let anyone else touch it.
“When we bought our play yard a couple of months ago, our baby just couldn’t seem to get enough time in it. Now he screams to get out after only five minutes.”
A couple of months ago, the play yard didn’t seem confining to your baby; on the contrary, it seemed his own personal amusement park. Now he’s beginning to realize that there’s a whole world—or at least a family room—out there, and he’s game to take it on. The four walls that once enclosed his paradise now represent frustrating barriers to him, keeping him on the inside looking out.
Take your baby’s hint and start using the play yard for emergency duty only, for those times when he needs to be penned in for his own safety or, briefly and not too often, for your convenience—while you mop the kitchen floor, put something in the oven, answer the phone, go to the bathroom, or straighten up for last-minute company. Limit the time he’s sentenced to it to no more than five to fifteen minutes at a stretch, which is about as long as an active eight-month-old will tolerate it. Vary the company he has to keep, rotating his stock of toys frequently so he won’t become bored prematurely. If he prefers to be able to see and hear you as he plays, keep the pen near you; if he seems contented longer when you’re out of sight, keep it in the next room (but make sure he’s within earshot and check on him frequently). If he protests before he’s done his time, try giving him some novel playthings—a few pots and pans, perhaps, or an empty plastic soda bottle or two (without the cap)—anything he doesn’t usually play with in this setting. If that doesn’t work, parole him as soon as you reasonably can.
Be alert to the possibility of a jailbreak. The extremely agile and resourceful baby may be able to escape by climbing on large toys—so keep them out of the play yard. Also avoid hanging toys across the top.
“My daughter could stay in the play yard all day if I let her, but I’m not sure I should.”
Some placid babies seem perfectly happy to stay in the play yard for hours on end, even late into the first year. Maybe they just don’t know what they’re missing, or perhaps they’re not assertive enough to demand their freedom. But though such a situation lets a parent accomplish plenty, it prevents a baby from accomplishing enough, intellectually or physically. So encourage your baby to see the world from a new perspective. She may be hesitant at first to leave the play yard, a little uneasy about losing the security of its four walls. Sitting with her on the wide-open floor, playing with her, giving her a favorite toy or a favorite blanket, or cheering on her attempts at crawling will make the transition easier.
“I’d like my daughter to develop an interest in reading. Is it too early to start reading to her?”
In an age when television seduces children away from books easily and early, it’s probably never too soon to start reading to a child. Some even believe there’s value in reading to a baby still in the uterus, and many begin their babies on books shortly after birth. But it isn’t until some time in the second half of the first year that a baby becomes an active participant in the reading process, if only by chewing on the corners of the book to start with. Soon she begins to pay attention to the words as you read them (at this point, to the rhythm and sounds of the words rather than their meanings) and to the illustrations (enjoying the color and patterns, but not necessarily relating the pictures to known objects).
To make sure your baby catches the bookworm early, use the following strategies:
Read to yourself. Reading to your baby will have less impact if you yourself spend more time in front of the TV than behind a book (or newspaper, or magazine). Though it’s hard for parents of young children to find a spare moment for a quiet read, it’s worth the effort; as with any behavior, desirable or undesirable, children are much more likely to do as you do than to do as you say. Read a few pages out loud from a propped-up book while you nurse or give your baby a bottle, read a book in her room while she plays, keep a book on your nightstand for reading before you fall asleep and for showing your baby (“This is Daddy’s book”).
Start a juvenile collection. There are thousands of children’s books on the shelves of bookstores, but only a limited number are appropriate for a beginner. Look for the following:
Sturdy construction that defies destruction. Sturdiest are books with laminated cardboard pages with rounded edges, which can be mouthed without disintegrating and turned without tearing. Laminated or soft cloth books are good, as long as they can lie flat. A plastic spiral binding on a board book is a plus, since not only does it allow a book to lie flat when open, but also baby can play with the fascinating spiral design (make sure it’s flexible, not rigid, so little fingers can’t be pinched). Vinyl books are good for bath time, one of the few times some very young children sit still long enough for a reading session. To keep these free of mildew, dry thoroughly after each bath, and store in a dry place.
Illustrations that include bold, bright, realistic pictures of familiar subjects, particularly animals, vehicles, toys, and children. The pictures should be simple, not cluttered, so that baby won’t be overwhelmed.
Text that is not too complicated. Rhymes have the best chance of holding a baby’s attention when you’re reading to her since she’s listening largely for ear appeal, not comprehension, and it’ll be many months before she’ll be able to follow a story line. One-word-on-a-page books are good, too, since they help her to increase her comprehension vocabulary and eventually her spoken vocabulary.
Activity tie-ins. Books that stimulate games like peekaboo, touch-and-feel books that encourage learning about textures, and books that have surprises hidden under little flaps encourage audience participation.
Discardable reading matter. Babies also like to handle and look at magazines with a lot of full-color illustrations, so instead of recycling old ones, keep a rainy-day collection for your baby. Of course, when she’s through with them, you’ll probably have to recycle them anyway.
Learn to read parent-style. Yes, you know how to read aloud, but when you read to a baby, you need to read with style. Tempo, tone, and inflection are important; read slowly, with a lilting singsong voice and exaggerated emphasis in the right places. Stop at each page to stress salient points (“Look at the little boy rolling down the hill,” or “See the baby doggie laughing?”) or to show her animals or people (“That’s a cow—a cow says ‘moo,’” or “There’s a baby in a cradle—the baby’s going ‘sleepy-time’”).
Make reading a habit. Build reading into baby’s agenda, doing a few minutes at least twice a day, when she’s quiet but alert, and when she’s already been fed. Before nap time, after lunch, after bath, and before bed are all good reading times. But keep to the schedule only if baby’s receptive; don’t push a book on her when she’s in the mood to practice crawling or to make music with two pot covers. Reading should never be a chore.
Keep the library open. Store precious, destructible books on a high shelf for parent-supervised reading sessions, but keep a small (to prevent baby from being overwhelmed) rotating (to prevent baby from becoming bored) library of babyproof books where she can reach and enjoy them. Sometimes a baby who resists being sat down for a reading session with mommy or daddy will be happy to “read” to herself, turning pages and looking at pictures at her own pace.
“I’ve noticed that my baby picks up and reaches for toys with either hand. Should I try to encourage him to use his right?”
We live in a world that’s not equal-handed when it comes to handed-ness—catering to the right-handed among us, leaving lefties to fend for themselves. Most doors, irons, potato peelers, scissors, and table settings are designed for righties. And lefties are destined to bump elbows at the dinner table, to shake with what to them is the “wrong” hand, and wear their watch on what is considered the “wrong” wrist. In the past, some parents, reluctant to relegate their children to this minority status, routinely tried to force right-handedness onto lefty-prone offspring.
Experts once believed that such parental pressure to change what is most probably a genetically determined trait led to stuttering and a variety of learning disabilities. Now, though they still don’t recommend trying to change a child’s natural handedness, they suspect that several traits are genetically intertwined with left-handedness. Many of these appear to be related to differences between lefties and righties with respect to development in the right and left hemispheres of the brain. In lefties, the right side of the brain is dominant, making them excel in such areas as spatial relations, which may be why they are overrepresented in such fields as sports, architecture, and art. Since more boys than girls are left-handed, it is also theorized that levels of testosterone, a male hormone, somehow affect brain development and handedness. Much more study is needed before we fully understand what makes a person left- or right-handed and just how handedness affects various areas of one’s life.
Most babies use both hands equally at first; some show a preference for one hand or the other within a few months, others not until they reach their first birthdays. Some seem to favor one hand at first, and then switch. What’s important is letting baby use the hand he’s most comfortable with, not the one you would like him to use. Since about 70 percent of the population is strongly right-handed (10 percent are left-handed, and the other 20 percent is ambidextrous), you can assume, until he demonstrates otherwise, that your baby will be, too. Offer things to his right hand. If he reaches over and grabs them with his left, or takes them with his right and then passes them to his left, he may be on his way to winning twenty games for the Yankees or to designing the world’s longest bridge.
As baby becomes more active and adventurous, a whole world opens up, and along with it, a whole lot of potential for getting into trouble. And though the crib may seem like the very safest haven for your little explorer, it won’t be long before he or she will be capable of scaling its four rails. While some babies never attempt an escape from their cribs, many do, so it’s wise to begin taking measures to prevent one now:
If you haven’t done so already, lower the mattress as far as it can go. Also check the mattress supports periodically to be sure they’re not loose; if they are, an active baby can push the mattress down and get hurt.
Consider removing the bumpers, which some babies figure out how to climb on to facilitate their escape. (Some parents of restless sleepers prefer to keep the bumpers in place to protect their babies’ heads from bumps.)
Don’t leave big toys in the crib that baby can pile up and use as a stepping stool to freedom—and trouble. Take down any mobiles that baby could pull up on.
Continue to avoid using pillows and fluffy comforters in the crib; not just because of the SIDS danger (which is still present but much smaller), but because a clever baby (aren’t they all?) can pile them up to use as a ladder.
Never use a canopy over the crib. It looks sweet, but it can strangle or suffocate your baby.
Pull the crib at least one foot away from all furniture and walls to avoid giving your baby a leg up on climbing. As always, make sure the crib isn’t within reach of a drapery or window blind cord (all cords should be tied up).
Once baby’s pulling up, he or she will probably use the crib railing as a teething biscuit. If you’d like to protect the railing from your baby and your baby from it, install a teething rail.
If, no matter what, your baby tries to escape the crib, put some pillows or fluffy blankets on the floor next to the crib to cushion his or her landing.
When baby reaches 35 inches, it’s time to graduate to a bed.
“I always said that a baby wasn’t going to change the way we live. But with our daughter’s crawling around, many of the valuable things we’ve collected over the years are at risk. Should I pack them away, or try to teach her to stay away from them?”
Many china shops would be as happy to host a bull as a seven- or eight-month-old baby. And, indeed, your breakable valuables might stand as much of a chance of surviving in a living room with your baby as they would in a ring with El Toro.
So if you don’t want to see the Baccarat bowl you picked up in Paris or the Wedgwood vase your best friend gave you for a wedding gift shattered at your baby’s feet, put them well out of reach until she’s old enough and responsible enough to treat them with respect—which may not be for a couple of years. Do likewise with objects (of art or otherwise) that are heavy enough to hurt her should she pull them down.
Still, your family shouldn’t spend the next years in a house stripped bare of objects—for your child’s sake as much as for yours. If you want her to learn to live with the finer and more fragile things in life, she should be exposed to some even at this age. Leave a few of the sturdier and less pricey pieces in your collection within your baby’s reach. When she reaches, firmly tell her, “No, don’t touch that. That’s Mommy and Daddy’s.” Hand her a toy and explain that it is hers. If she persists in reaching for the forbidden object, take it away (too many nos begin to lose their effect) and put it out another day. Though you can’t count on compliance now (young babies have short memories), eventually your child will understand. As she gets older, you can host practice sessions—when she can hold and appropriately fondle breakable objects while you supervise closely, giving her valuable experience in the handling of valuables. Once she can be trusted to steer clear or handle with care, you can bring on the Baccarat and Wedgwood.
Put a fragile day-old baby next to a sturdy seven-month-old and the newborn will seem, in comparison, so helpless, so much more vulnerable to harm. But, in reality, it’s the older baby who’s more vulnerable. Newly acquired skills unmatched by good judgment, in fact, make babies in the second half of their first year extremely hazardous to their own health. And once babies are able to get around alone, the average home becomes as dangerous for them to explore as it is exciting.
An independently mobile baby in a home that hasn’t been babyproofed is an accident waiting to happen—and happen again. It usually takes a combination of factors to trigger an accident or injury, including a dangerous object or substance (in the case of a baby, perhaps a staircase or drug), a susceptible victim (your baby’s a prime one), and possibly environmental conditions (ungated steps, an unlocked medicine chest) that allow victim and danger to come together. In the case of baby injuries, it may also hinge on the faltering vigilance—sometimes only for a moment—of a parent or other care provider.
To minimize the possibility of an injury, all of these factors must be modified in some way. Dangerous objects and substances must be removed from reach, the susceptible baby has to be made less susceptible by gradual safety training, the hazardous environment must be modified (with gates on stairs, locks on cabinets), and, possibly most important of all, care providers must be ever on the alert, especially at times of stress, when most accidents occur. Because a great many injuries occur at the homes of others—particularly the homes of grandmas and grandpas—you should extend many of these safety measures to homes baby visits often and offer this chapter as reading material to those who frequently care for your child. Here’s how to modify the factors that contribute to accidents.
Since modifying baby’s behavior will be a long, slow educational process, which can begin now but won’t be complete for many years, it’s your behavior that will have the most impact on the safety of your child at this stage.
Be eternally vigilant. No matter how carefully you attempt to childproof your house, remember that you can’t make it completely accident-proof. Your attention, or that of another care provider, must be continuous, especially if yours is a particularly resourceful child.
Don’t let your attention be diverted in midactivity when using household cleaning products, medicines, electrical appliances, or any other potentially hazardous object or substance when your baby is on the loose. It takes no more than a second for baby to get into serious trouble. Very dangerous items—such as power tools—should not be used while baby’s on the loose unless a second adult is on baby watch.
Be particularly alert during times of stress and stressful times of day. It’s when you’re distracted (the phone’s ringing, the television’s blaring, dinner’s boiling over on the stove) that you’re likely to forget to take the knife off the table, strap baby into the high chair, or close the stair gate.
Never leave baby alone in a car or in your home, not even for a moment. Don’t even leave him or her alone in a room of your home (except in a play yard or crib, or in a thoroughly babyproofed room and then only for a few minutes while you’re in earshot, unless he or she is sleeping). Do not leave a baby alone, even “safely” enclosed in a crib or play yard, awake or asleep, with a preschooler (they often don’t know their own strength or realize the possible consequences of their actions) or with a pet (even a docile one).
Choose appropriate clothing. Use only flame-retardant sleepwear; be sure that pajama feet aren’t too floppy, pants cuffs too long, or socks or slippers too slippery for a baby who is pulling up or starting to walk. Avoid long scarves or sashes that can trip baby up, entrap him or her, or pose a strangling risk; likewise shun strings over 6 inches long (remove them from sweats, hoods of jackets, and other clothes).
Become familiar, if you aren’t already, with emergency and first-aid procedures (see pages 572–599). You can’t always prevent injuries, but knowing what to do if a serious one occurs can save lives and limbs.
Give your baby plenty of supervised freedom. Once you’ve made your baby’s environment as safe as possible, avoid hovering (though not watching). Though you want your child to be safety-conscious, you don’t want to discourage the normal experimentation of childhood. Children, like adults, learn from their mistakes; never allowing them to make a mistake can prevent growth. And a child who is afraid to run, climb, or try new things misses out not only on the education that comes through free play, but on a lot of the fun of childhood as well.
Until now, your baby has seen your home mostly from your arms, at your eye level. Now that he or she is beginning to get a look at it from down on all fours, you will have to begin looking at it from that perspective, too. One way to do this is to actually get down on the floor yourself; from there, you will see a multitude of dangers you may not even have realized existed. Another way is to examine everything that is within three feet above the floor—the usual range of a baby’s reach.
Every year more than a million unintentional poison exposures of children five and under are reported in the United States. Sad, but not surprising. Children, particularly very young ones, do a lot of their discovery of the world orally. Virtually anything they pick up will go right to the mouth. They haven’t yet learned to categorize substances or objects as “safe” or “unsafe”—everything is merely “interesting.” Nor are their taste-buds sophisticated enough to warn them, as ours do, that a substance is dangerous because it tastes terrible.
To protect your innocents from perils, follow these rules without fail:
Lock all potentially poisonous substances out of reach and out of sight of your baby—even crawlers can climb up on low chairs and stools or cushions.
Follow all safety rules for administering or taking medicines (see page 536).
Avoid buying brightly colored or attractively packaged household cleansers, laundry detergents, and other substances. They will attract your baby. If necessary, cover illustrations with black tape (but don’t cover instructions or warnings). Also avoid toxic substances with attractive food fragrances (such as mint, lemon, or apricot).
Purchase products with child-resistant packaging, when possible.
Make it a habit to return hazardous items to safe storage immediately after each use; don’t put a spray can of furniture polish or a box of mothballs down “just for a minute” while you answer the phone.
Store food and nonfood items separately, and never put nonedibles in empty food containers (bleach in an apple juice bottle, for example, or lubricating oil in a jelly jar). Babies learn very early to identify where their food comes from, and won’t understand why they can’t drink what’s in the juice bottle or lick what’s in the jelly jar.
Avoid buying and displaying nonfoods that look like foods (such as wax or glass fruit).
Discard potentially poisonous substances. Empty them as instructed on the label, rinsing the containers before discarding unless the label instructs otherwise, and putting them out in a tightly closed trash can immediately. Never dump them in a wastebasket or kitchen garbage can.
Choose the relatively less hazardous product over the one with a long list of warnings when possible. Among those household products generally considered less hazardous: nonchlorine bleaches, vinegar, Bon Ami, washing soda, lemon oil, beeswax, olive oil (for furniture), non-chemical flypaper, Elmer’s glue, mineral oil (for lubrication, not internal use), compressed air drain openers (rather than corrosive liquids or granules).
Put POISON labels on all poisonous products. If you can’t locate such labels, simply put an X of black tape on each product (but don’t cover instructions or warnings). Eventually, your child will also come to recognize that these products are unsafe.
Think of all of the following as potentially poisonous if swallowed by your baby (those that are asterisked probably shouldn’t be in your home at all):
Alcoholic beverages
Ammoniated mercury (not useful medicinally)*
Antifreeze
Aspirin or acetaminophen
Boric acid
Camphorated oil
Chlorine bleach
Cosmetics
Dishwasher detergents
Drain cleaners
Furniture polish
Insect or rodent poisons
Iron pills or drops (even baby’s own)
Kerosene
Lye*
Medicines of all kinds (children’s varieties that smell and taste good can be especially tempting)
Mothballs
Mouthwash
Nail-care products
Perfume
Petroleum (i.e., gasoline)*
Turpentine (not useful)
Oil of wintergreen (not useful medicinally)
Sleeping pills
Tranquilizers
Weed killers
Changes throughout the home. As you tour your home, look at and alter as necessary the following:
Windows. If they are above ground level, install window guards according to manufacturer’s directions; or adjust them so they can’t open more than 6 inches. Keep climbable furniture away from windows.
Cords to blinds or draperies. Tie them up so baby can’t become entangled, and avoid loops; do not place a crib or play yard, or a chair or bed baby can climb on, within reach of any cords. Call the Window Covering Safety Council at 800-506-4636 for free cord safety kits.
Electrical cords. Move them out of reach, behind furniture so that baby won’t mouth them, risking electric shock, or tug at them, pulling lamps or other heavy items down; don’t put them under carpets, where they could overheat and cause a fire.
Electrical outlets. Cover with outlet plate covers or place heavy furniture in front of them to prevent baby from inserting something (such as a hairpin) or probing with a drooly finger and getting a shock.
Unstable furnishings. Put rickety or unstable chairs, tables, or other furniture that might topple if baby pulls on it out of the way for the time being; securely fasten to the wall bookcases or other structures that baby could pull down.
Dresser drawers. Keep them closed (and, if possible, safety-latched) so baby won’t climb in them and pull the dresser down or the drawers out and on top of himself or herself; if the dresser isn’t stable, consider fastening it to the wall.
Painted surfaces within baby’s reach. Be sure they are lead free; if they aren’t or if you aren’t sure, repaint or wallpaper. If testing shows lead in the paint, get expert advice on the best way to proceed.
Ashtrays. Put them out of reach so baby won’t touch a hot butt or sample a handful of ashes and butts; better still, for your baby’s health as well as safety, banish tobacco from your home entirely.
Houseplants. Keep them out of baby’s reach, where baby can’t pull them down on himself or herself or nibble on them; be especially wary of poisonous plants (see page 415).
Loose knobs on furniture or cabinets. Remove or secure any that are small enough to be swallowed (smaller than baby’s fist) or cause choking.
Radiators. Put barriers around them or radiator covers over them during the heating season.
Stairs. Put a gate at the top and another three steps up from the bottom.
Banisters and railings. Be sure the gap between upright posts on stair or balcony railings is less than 4 inches, and that none is loose. If the gap is too large, install a Plexiglas, clear plastic, or mesh barrier across the railing.
Fireplaces, heaters, stoves, floor furnaces. Put up protective grilles or other barriers to keep small fingers from hot surfaces (even the grille on a floor furnace can get hot enough to cause second-degree burns) as well as fire. Unplug space heaters when not in use, and whenever possible store them where children can’t get at them.
Tablecloths. If they hang over the side of the table and are not well anchored, remove them until your baby knows not to pull up on them or, alternatively, keep baby off the floor when you have a cloth on the table.
Glass-topped tables. Either cover with a heavy table pad or put them out of reach temporarily.
Sharp edges or corners on tables, chests, and so on. If baby can bump into them, cover them with homemade or purchased cushioned strips and corner guards.
Scatter rugs. Be sure they have non-skid backings; don’t place them at the top of stairs or allow them to remain rumpled.
Floor tiles and carpets. Repair all loose areas to prevent tripping.
Rubber ends from door stoppers. Remove because they pose a choking risk. Or, remove the entire stopper completely and install a v-shaped hinge pin at the top of the door.
Heavy knickknacks and bookends. Place them where baby can’t reach out and pull them over; babies have more strength than you may think.
Toy chests. These should have lightweight lids with safety closing mechanisms (or no lids at all), as well as ventilation holes (in case baby should become locked in). Better still, don’t use toy chests at all. In general, open shelves are safer for toy storage.
Crib. Once your baby starts showing interest in pulling up (don’t wait until the feat has been achieved), it’s time to make some adjustments; see page 401.
Floor clutter. Try to keep it out of traffic lanes to prevent tripping. Wipe up spills and pick up papers immediately.
Garage, basement, and hobby areas. Lock securely and keep children out, since these areas usually contain a variety of hazardous implements and/or poisonous substances.
Other areas with hazardous or breakable objects, such as a living room housing a collection of fine teacups. Put up a gate or other barrier to keep baby out, or lock objects up.
Also be alert to the host of hazardous items found in the typical home and see that they are safely stored, generally in childproof drawers, cabinets, or chests or on absolutely out-of-reach shelves (you’d be surprised at how high some babies can manage to climb). When you’re using such items, be sure baby can’t get at them when you turn your back, and always be sure to put them away as soon as you’ve finished with them or as soon as you spot one that has been left out. Be particularly careful with:
Sharp implements such as scissors, knives, letter openers, razors (don’t leave these on the side of the tub or in the wastebasket), and blades.
Swallowable notions such as marbles, coins, safety pins, and anything else smaller than 1
inches in diameter (about the diameter of a toilet paper tube).
Pens, pencils, and other writing implements (substitute chunky nontoxic crayons).2
Sewing and knitting supplies, particularly pins and needles, thimbles, scissors, yarn and buttons.
Lightweight plastic bags such as produce bags, dry-cleaning bags, and packaging on new clothing (babies can suffocate if such a bag is placed over the face).
Incendiary articles such as matches and matchbooks, lighters, and hot cigarette butts. (For that matter, any cigarette is hazardous—both as a poison and as a chokable.)
Tools of your trade or hobbies: paints and thinners, if there’s an artist in the house; pins and needles if someone sews; woodworking equipment if there’s a carpenter; and so on.
Toys meant for older children. Toys that belong to older siblings generally should not be played with by babies or toddlers under three; this includes building sets with small pieces, dolls with small accessories, bikes and scooters, miniature cars and trucks, and anything with sharp corners, small pieces, removable or breakable small parts, or electrical connections.
Button batteries: the disc-shaped type used in watches, calculators, hearing aids, cameras, and so on (they are easy to swallow, and can release hazardous contents into baby’s esophagus or stomach).
Food fakes of wax, papier-mâché, rubber, or any other substance that isn’t safe for a baby or child to mouth (a wax apple, a candle that smells and looks like an ice-cream sundae, a child’s eraser that smells and looks like a ripe strawberry).
Cleaning materials.
Glass, china, or other breakables.
Lightbulbs, especially small ones, such as those in night-lights, that a baby can mouth and break.
Jewelry, particularly beads, which can be pulled apart; and small items such as rings (all are attractive to baby and easily swallowed). Babies shouldn’t wear jewelry, for the same reason.
Mothballs (they’re poisonous).
Shoe polish (besides making a mess, it can make baby sick).
Perfumes and all cosmetics (they are potentially toxic); vitamins and medicines.
Toy whistles (baby can choke on them, and on the small ball inside should it come loose).
Keep the purses or bags of guests out of your child’s reach. They may contain toiletries, medications, or other items that aren’t safe for baby.
Balloons (uninflated or burst, they can be inhaled and cause choking).
Small, hard finger foods, such as nuts or raisins, popcorn, or hard candies that may be left around in candy dishes (baby can choke on them). Ditto pet kibble.
Guns and ammunition, real or toy (if you must have them in the home).
Lye and acid; for example, some drain-cleaning products (better not to have these in your home at all).
Alcoholic beverages (an amount that merely relaxes you could make your baby deathly ill).
Strings, cords, cradle gyms, tape cassettes, or anything else that could get tangled around a baby’s neck and cause strangulation.
Anything else in your home that would be dangerous if mouthed or swallowed by a baby. See list of poisons, page 405.
Fire-safety changes. Hearing that a child or children perished in a fire is upsetting enough. To know that the fire could have been prevented, or could have been discovered before it spread to fatal proportions, is even more disturbing. Check every corner of your home for possible fire hazards to be sure “it can’t happen here”:
Be sure your baby’s and children’s sleepwear meets federal standards for flame resistance.
If smoking is permitted in your home, dispose of all cigar or cigarette butts, ashes, pipe ashes, and used matches carefully and never leave them where a baby can get at them. Any smokers in your home should make a habit of disposing of butts immediately, and you should empty ashtrays promptly when you have smoking guests.
Do not permit anyone (visitors included) to smoke in bed or while falling asleep on the sofa.
Keep matches and lighters out of the reach of children and babies.
Do not allow rubbish to accumulate (especially combustibles such as paint or paint rags).
Avoid using flammable liquids, kerosene as well as commercial products, for spot removal on clothing. Another reason to avoid these: They are poisonous if ingested.
Don’t let anyone (adult or child) near a fireplace, woodstove, candle, or space heater while wearing trailing sleeves, dragging scarves, or hanging shirttails, any of which could unintentionally catch fire.
Keep candles out of reach of curious hands in places where they won’t be knocked over, and be sure to blow them out before leaving the room. Keep Christmas tree lights high enough so a child can’t reach one and pull the whole tree down.
There’s more to buying for baby than cute clothes, snappy strollers, and the latest car seat. You’ll also need to fill your shopping cart with the following child-proofing essentials, to make your home safe for baby:
Cabinet and drawer locks (to keep kitchen cabinets and drawers safe from prying fingers)
Cabinet latches (to do likewise)
Stove guards
Doorknob guards (to make it difficult for little ones to open doors)
Clear plastic corner cushioning (to soften corners of tables)
Edge cushions (to do same for sharp edges)
Outlet plugs or covers
Tub spout safety cover
Nonskid decorations for bathtub bottoms
Skid-resistant step stool
Kidproof patio door locks
Potty proofer (suction cups or latch to keep lid down when not in use)
Cover halogen bulbs with a safety shield.
Have your heating system checked annually, be careful not to overload electrical circuits, always remove plugs from sockets properly (don’t jerk the cord), and check electric appliances and cords regularly for wear and/or loose connections. If you have fuses rather than circuit breakers, use only 15-amp fuses for lighting; never substitute anything else for a fuse.
Avoid using space heaters when there are children in the house. If you must use them, be sure they turn off automatically if toppled or if something is placed against them. And don’t leave baby unsupervised around one.
Place extinguishers in areas where fire risk is greatest, such as in the kitchen or furnace room, near the fireplace or woodstove, and in the garage. Check the pressure gauge at least yearly or, preferably, two times a year (you can do it when you change the batteries on your smoke detectors). Buy only those that have been tested by an independent laboratory and label for the type (ordinary combustible, flammable liquids, or electrical) and size of the fire they can extinguish. (In an emergency, bicarbonate of soda can be used for putting out kitchen fires.) Try to put out a fire only if it is small and contained (such as one in your oven, a frying pan, or a wastebasket) and if you are between the fire and an exit. If it is not contained, get out of the house instead.
Install fire and smoke detectors as recommended by your local fire department, if you haven’t already. Check monthly to see that they are in good working order and that batteries haven’t run down.
Install rope ladders at selected upper-floor windows to facilitate escape; teach older children and adults how to use them. Practice getting down holding a doll.
Devise an escape plan and practice it so that everyone who lives or works in your household will know how to get out safely and quickly in an emergency and know where to meet other family members. Assign parents and other adults to evacuate specific children. Be sure everyone (including baby-sitters) knows that the priority in case of fire is to evacuate the premises immediately—without worrying about dressing, saving valuables, or putting out the fire. (The only exception is a well-contained fire that can be put out with a fire extinguisher.) Most deaths occur from suffocation or burns due to hot fumes and smoke, not from direct flame. The fire department should be called as soon as possible from a cell phone, street phone, or a neighbor’s house.
Changes in the kitchen. Make a special tour of the kitchen, one of the most intriguing places in the house to your newly mobile baby—and also one of the most dangerous. You can make it safer by taking the following steps:
Attach child-guard latches to drawers or cabinets that contain anything off-limits to little ones, such as breakable glass items, sharp implements, hazardous cleaning compounds, medicines, or dangerous foodstuffs (such as nuts or popcorn—on which a baby could choke—and hot peppers). If your baby figures out how to unlatch the safety latches (some very wily ones do), you will have to relegate all dangerous items to out-of-reach storage areas or just keep your baby out of the kitchen entirely with a gate or other barrier. What is truly out of reach will change as your baby gets older, so your storage arrangement may have to as well.
Set aside at least one cabinet (baby is less likely to catch his or her fingers in a cabinet than in a drawer) for your little explorer to enjoy freely. Some sturdy pots and pans, wooden spoons, strainers, dish towels, plastic bowls, and so on can provide minutes-at-a-time of entertainment and may satisfy your baby’s curiosity enough to keep him or her out of forbidden places.
Keep the handles of pots and pans that are on the stove turned toward the rear and out of baby’s reach, and use back burners whenever possible. If controls are on the front of the range, erect some sort of barrier to keep them untouchable, or snap on stove knob covers. An appliance latch will keep conventional and microwave ovens inaccessible.
Keep the dishwasher door tightly closed at all times. A baby who uses an open door to pull up on can encounter numerous dangers, including knives.
Don’t sit baby on a countertop near electrical appliances, the stove, or anything else that might be hazardous—or you may find him or her with fingers in the toaster, hands on a hot pot, or a knife heading for an open mouth the moment you turn your back.
Be sure not to leave a hot beverage or a bowl of soup at the edge of a table where your baby can reach it.
Keep boxes of plastic wrap, foil, wax paper, parchment paper, or any other box with a serrated edge (that could easily cut little fingers) in a locked drawer or in a high cabinet.
Keep plastic bags out of reach.
Place refrigerator magnets high enough so your child can’t reach them—or don’t use them at all. They pose a choking risk.
Keep garbage in a tightly covered container that baby can’t open or under the sink behind a securely latched door. Children love to rummage through garbage, and the dangers—from spoiled foods to broken glass—are many.
Clean up all spills promptly—they make for slippery floors.
Empty pails of water immediately after you’re finished with them; a baby or toddler can tumble in and drown.
Follow the safety rules for selecting, using, and storing kitchen detergents, scouring powders, silver polishes, and all other cleaning supplies (see page 404).
Changes in the bath. Nearly as alluring to a baby as the kitchen, and equally dangerous, is the bathroom. One way to keep it off-limits is to put a hook and eye or other latch high up on the door, and to keep it latched when not in use. Baby-safe the bathroom by taking the following precautions:
Keep all medications (including over-the-counter ones such as antacids), mouthwashes, toothpaste, vitamin pills, hair preparations and sprays, skin lotions, and cosmetics safely stored out of baby’s reach.
Keep the lower shelves of the bathroom closets and cabinets free of cotton balls, swabs, or anything else that may pose a choking hazard to young children.
Don’t use, or let anyone else use, a hair dryer near your baby when he or she is in the bath or playing with water. Don’t blow-dry baby’s hair.
Never leave small electrical appliances plugged in when you aren’t using them. A baby could dunk a hair dryer in the toilet and get a fatal electric shock, switch on a razor and get cut, or get burned on a curling iron. Unplugging appliances won’t be enough if your child has good manual dexterity (those little whizzes often figure out how to plug in an appliance, with possibly disastrous results). Better not to leave these appliances out at all.
Keep water temperature in your home set at or below 120°F to avoid accidental scalding, and always turn off the hot water faucet before the cold. Routinely test bathwater temperature with your elbow before putting baby in the tub. If your tub doesn’t have a nonskid finish, add some skidproof stick-ons.
If you live in a multifamily dwelling—such as an apartment building—you may not have access to the water heater or ability to set it to a safe temperature. Check with the landlord. If the temperature is not set safely, look into installing an antiscald plumbing device on the bathtub, where tap water scalds are most common. (Some housing codes may require it.)
When not in use, keep the toilet lid closed with suction cups, latches, or another device made expressly for this purpose. Most babies see the toilet as a private little swimming pool, and love to play in it any chance they get. Not only is this unsanitary, but an energetic toddler could topple in headfirst, with catastrophic results.
Invest in a protective cover for the tub spout to prevent bumps or burns should baby fall against it.
Do not leave your baby in the tub unattended, even once he’s sitting well, and even in a special tub seat. This rule should be in force until your child is five years old.
Never leave water in the tub when it’s not in use; a small child may topple into the tub at play, and a drowning can occur in as little as a couple of inches of water.
Changes for a safer outdoors. Though most injuries to infants occur in the home, serious ones can also occur in your own backyard—or someone else’s—as well as on local streets and playgrounds. Many of these accidents are relatively easy to prevent:
Never let an infant or toddler play outdoors alone. Even a baby in a safety harness, napping in a carriage or stroller, needs to be watched almost constantly—he or she could suddenly wake and become tangled in the harness while struggling to be free. A sleeping baby who is not strapped needs to be under someone’s watchful eye full-time. Any child left alone for any amount of time can be harmed by an unleashed pet, or become a victim of abduction.
Keep swimming or wading pools and any other water catchments (even if filled with only a couple of inches of water) inaccessible to babies and toddlers—whether they are crawling, walking independently, or navigating a walker. Fence a swimming pool on all sides with a self-closing, self-latching gate. Keep gates or doors to the pool locked at all times; empty and turn wading pools upside down, and drain any other areas where water can accumulate before allowing baby to play nearby.
Check public play areas before letting your baby loose. Though it’s fairly easy to keep your backyard free of dog droppings (they can harbor worms), broken glass, and other dangerous debris, park attendants may find it more difficult to do so.
It’s not enough to plead, “Please don’t eat the daisies!” Avoid planting, or at least fence in where baby definitely can’t reach them, poisonous plants (see box, page 415). Also begin teaching your baby that eating plants, indoors or out, is a no-no; even if a plant isn’t poisonous, stop any leaf or flower nibbling immediately.
Be sure that outdoor play equipment is safe. It should be sturdily constructed, correctly assembled, firmly anchored, and installed at least 6 feet from fences or walls. Cap all screws and bolts to prevent injuries from rough or sharp edges, and check for loose ones periodically. Avoid S-type hooks for swings (the chains can swing out of them and they can catch clothing), and rings anywhere on the equipment that are between 5 and 10 inches in diameter, since a child’s head might become entrapped. Swings should be of soft materials (such as leather or canvas rather than wood or metal) to prevent serious head injuries. The best surfaces for outdoor play areas are 12 inches of sand, mulch, wood chips, pea gravel, or a shock-absorbent material, such as rubber paving blocks. Openings in guardrails and spaces between platforms and between ladder rungs should measure less than 3½ inches or more than 9 inches so that children do not get trapped in those openings.
Injuries are much more likely to happen to those who are susceptible to them, and, of course, babies easily fall into that category. But it isn’t too early to begin safety-proofing your baby even as you safety-proof your home. Teach your baby about dangers whenever you encounter them. Pretend to touch the point of a needle, for example, saying “Ouch,” and pulling your finger away quickly in mock pain. Build and use a vocabulary of warning words (“Ouch,” “Boo-boo,” “Hot,” “Sharp”) and phrases (“Don’t touch,” “That’s dangerous,” “Be careful,” “That’s an ouch,” “That will give you a boo-boo”), so that your baby will automatically come to associate them with dangerous objects, substances, and situations. At first your little dramatizations will seem to be going right over your little one’s head—and they will be. But gradually the brain will begin storing the information, and one day it will be apparent that your lessons have taken hold. Begin teaching your baby now about the following:
Sharp or pointy implements. Whenever you use a knife, scissors, razor, or letter opener in front of your baby, be sure to mention that it is sharp, that it’s not a toy, that only mommy and daddy or other grownups can touch it. As your child becomes older and gains better small motor control, teach cutting with a child’s safety scissors and a butter knife. Finally, advance to supervised use of the “adult” versions of these implements.
Hot stuff. Even a seven- or eight-month-old will begin to catch on when you consistently warn that your coffee (or the stove, a lit match or candle, a radiator or heater, a fireplace) is hot and shouldn’t be touched. Very soon the word “hot” will automatically signal “Don’t touch” to your baby. Illustrate your point by letting him or her touch something hot, but not hot enough to burn—the very warm outside of your coffee cup, for example. When a child is old enough to strike a match or carry a cup of coffee, he or she should be taught the safe way to do so.
Steps. Parents are often advised to put up safety gates at stairways in homes where there are babies who are beginning to be mobile—either independently or in walkers (see page 331 for why mobile walkers are not advisable). On the one hand, this is an important safety precaution and one that too few families take. On the other hand, the baby who knows nothing about steps besides that they are off-limits is the one who is at greatest risk of falling the first time an open stairway is discovered. So put a gate at the top of every stairway of more than three steps in your home—getting down is much trickier, and thus much more hazardous, for a baby than getting up. But also put a gate three steps up from the bottom so that baby can practice going up and down under safe conditions. When he or she becomes proficient, open the gate occasionally to let baby tackle the full flight as you stand or crouch a step or two below, ready to lend support if a little foot or hand slips. Once going up is mastered, teach baby how to come down safely—a much more challenging task and one that may take several months to achieve. Children who know how to climb up and down steps are much safer should they happen upon an unprotected stairway, which every child does now and then, than those with no climbing experience. But continue to keep the gates in place, fastening them when you’re not around to supervise, until your child is a very reliable step climber (somewhere around two years of age).
Electrical hazards. Electrical outlets, electric cords, and electrically operated appliances all have great appeal for curious little minds and hands. It’s not enough to distract a baby on the way to probing an unprotected outlet or to hide all the visible cords in your home; it’s also necessary to repeatedly remind the baby of their dangerous potential (“Ouch!”), and to teach older children respectful use of electricity and the risks of mixing it with water.
Tubs, pools, and other watery attractions. Water play is fun and educational; encourage it. But also teach a baby not to get into the tub, a pool, a pond, or any other body of water without mommy or daddy or another grownup—and that includes babies and children who have gone through swimming classes. You can’t sufficiently “waterproof” a young child, so you can never leave one alone near water, but you can begin to teach some water safety rules.
Poisonous substances. You’re always careful about locking away household cleansers, medicines, and so on. But your parents are visiting and your dad leaves his heart medicine on a living room table. Or you’re at your sister’s house, and she has chlorine bleach and dishwasher detergent in an unlatched cabinet under the kitchen sink. You’re asking for trouble if you haven’t begun to teach your baby the rules of substance safety. Repeat these messages over and over again:
Don’t eat or drink anything unless mommy or daddy or another grownup you know gives it to you (this is a difficult concept for a baby, but an important one for all children to learn eventually). Don’t eat or drink anything that isn’t “food” or “drink.”
Medicine and vitamin pills are not candy, though they are sometimes flavored to taste that way. (Never refer to baby’s medicine or vitamin drops as “candy” or “yummy.”) Don’t eat or drink them unless mommy or daddy or another grownup you know gives them to you.
Don’t put anything in your mouth if you don’t know what it is.
Only mommy or daddy or another grownup can use medicine, scouring powder, spray wax, or any other potentially poisonous substance. Repeat this every time you take or give a medication, scrub the tub, polish the furniture, and so on.
There are dangers outside your home, too, that your baby needs to be prepared for:
Street hazards. Begin teaching street smarts now. Every time you cross a street with your baby, explain about listening and watching for cars, about crossing at the green and not in between, and waiting for the “Walk” light. If there are driveways in your neighborhood, then you should explain that it’s necessary to “stop, look, and listen” at them, too. Once your child is walking, teach him never to cross without holding on to an adult’s hand—even if there’s no traffic. It’s a good idea to hold hands on the sidewalk, too, but many toddlers love the freedom of walking on their own. If you permit this (and you probably will have to at least some of the time), you will have to keep an eye on your child literally every second—that’s all it takes for a child to dart into the path of an oncoming car. Infractions of the don’t-go-in-the-street-alone rule deserve a sharp reprimand.
Be sure, too, that your baby knows not to leave the house or apartment without you or another adult. Every once in a while a toddler toddles alone out the front door and into trouble. An out-of-reach lock will help prevent this potential tragedy.
Auto safety. Be certain that your baby not only becomes accustomed to sitting in a car seat in the rear, but as he or she gets older, understands the reason why it’s essential. Allow an exception even once and your child will find it very difficult to accept that using a car seat is nonnegotiable. Also explain other auto safety rules, such as no throwing toys around and no playing with door locks or window buttons.
Playground safety. Even a baby can begin learning playground safety rules. Teach yours not to twist a swing (when they or someone else is on it, or even if it’s empty), push an empty swing, or walk in front of a moving one. Observe these rules yourself, and regularly mention them to your baby. Also explain that it’s necessary to wait until the child ahead of you is off the slide before going down, and that it is unsafe to climb up from the bottom.
Many common house and garden plants are poisonous when eaten. Since plant leaves and flowers are no exception to a baby’s everything-in-the-mouth-that-fits rule, poisonous varieties must be off-limits for babies. Place house-plants high up, where leaves or flowers can’t fall on the floor below, and where baby can’t get to them by pulling up, crawling, or climbing. Better still, give poisonous houseplants to childless friends. Label with the accurate botanical name any houseplant you do keep, so that if your baby accidentally ingests some leaves or flowers or berries, you will be able to supply the accurate information to the poison center or your baby’s doctor. Place all plants, even nonpoisonous ones, where they can’t be toppled with a tug.
The following houseplants are poisonous, some in very small doses:
Dumb cane, English ivy, foxglove, hyacinth bulbs (and leaves and flowers in quantity), hydrangea, iris rootstalk and rhizome, lily of the valley, philodendron, Jerusalem cherry.
Outdoor plants that are poisonous include:
Azalea, rhododendron, caladium, daffodil and narcissus bulbs, daphne, English ivy, foxglove, hyacinth bulbs (and leaves and flowers in quantity), hydrangea, iris rootstalk and rhizome, Japanese yew seeds and leaves, larkspur, laurel, lily of the valley, morning glory seeds, oleander, privet, rhubarb leaves, sweet peas (especially the “peas,” which are the seeds), tomato plant leaves, wisteria pods and seeds, yews.
Holiday favorites holly and mistletoe, and to a lesser extent, poinsettia (which is irritating but not poisonous), are also on the danger list.
Kids learn volumes through their parents’ example. So the best way to teach your baby about safe living is to practice it yourself. Make a habit of buckling your seat belt and obeying traffic signals, and your child will be likely to grow up with the same good safety habits.
1. Babies who spend little time on their stomachs during playtime may reach this milestone later, and that’s not cause for concern (see page 210).
2. Some children enjoy using pencils or pens just like mommy and daddy; if your baby does, allow such use only when he or she is safely seated and you can supervise closely.
