If you scored highest in Water traits on your assessment and have confirmed that your results are accurate, then Water is your primary archetype.
When Water is your primary archetype, its even, steady insight directs the way you interact with your environment. You share the gifts of knowledge, enlightenment, contentment, and courage with the world.
Water reveals itself in the simple delight of an afternoon spent basking in the beauty of nature, reflecting on the wonder of our delicate and brilliant ecosystem. Water is a deep and dreamy night’s sleep that fortifies your overworked mind and body. It’s the complete intoxication of escaping into the fantasy world of a Tolkien novel and reading all night, impervious to the passing of time and surprised by the rising of the morning sun. Water is the fortitude to see clearly through the mess of muddled emotions, worries, and time constraints of others so you can deftly and imaginatively solve complex problems.
Primary Water types are skeptics. They’re never gullible, nor do they simply accept your optimistic instincts. They want to know the motivations behind your professions of love because they do not take compliments or promises at face value. They evaluate options thoroughly and don’t hastily jump into business deals or relationships. They know deep in their soul that good things come to those who wait.
The “wise, trustworthy” friend, Water is adept at saving you from a convoluted, messy situation. Teaching us that there is deep value in pausing with our emotions instead of reacting to them is profoundly satisfying for Water types. Serving as a wise sage inculcates in them a lasting sense of self-worth.
The Water archetype, also known as “The Philosopher,” is associated with deep, immersive thought, insight, and a desire for solitude. On the flip side, Water’s typical lifestyle challenges include making sure to stay connected to their social network and avoiding the tendency to over-isolate or become too pessimistic. Primary Waters also struggle to overcome the fear of becoming obsolete or unable to contribute anything of meaning.
If Water is not your primary archetype, you will still have some amount of Water in your nature, so in order to achieve and maintain harmony throughout your lifetime, it’s essential that you know where your Water ranks with respect to the other four archetypes and practice the skills that help keep the Water in your nature balanced. The long-term maintenance practices beginning on page 258 will help you both optimize your primary archetype and harmonize overall, as well as build a firm foundation of resilience in the face of stress. If Water is your primary, practicing your long-term maintenance activities will naturally propel you to recover from feelings of fear in times of stress and will increase your ability to access your strong introspection and objectivity skills. If Water is your lowest, practicing these activities will slow down obsessive worry and panic and will empower you to nurture ideas over time and appreciate the process rather than rushing through to finish projects and initiatives.
If Water is your primary or is tied as one of your two primaries, this chapter applies most directly to you and how you understand and engage in your relationships.
As a primary Water, your courageous quest for truth is unparalleled. You have vast imaginative capabilities and radiate a wise, peaceful disposition to those around you. When you’re feeling empowered, your friends, family, and community regard you as a gentle sage who is a focused listener and an outstanding problem solver. However, when you don’t feel safe within your environment and you’re not at your best, you feel alone and misunderstood, questioning your abilities and retreating from the world. In these low moments, it becomes difficult to access your natural, impressive talents.
Primary Water types live their highest spiritual purpose by tranquilly perceiving and sharing the deeper meanings of life, from regular everyday interactions to the greater significance of why we’re here. They serve as our patient, peaceful guides, people we seek out for advice and direction. Waters living their most harmonious lives demonstrate to the world that we don’t have to get caught up in heightened emotions or worry much about our inner critics. They show us how to calmly reflect on challenging situations, perceiving new ways forward that our high levels of distress and anxiety tend to obscure. As a result of their efforts, primary Waters hope that others begin to model this peaceful seeking of answers and new possibilities by mimicking Water’s natural skills.
Primary Water types who feel confident and secure in who they are will embody distinct traits in their physical, mental, and spiritual being. Physically, Water types get good rest and maintain healthy sleep habits. Mentally, Water types are incredible listeners and problem solvers who don’t feel the need to rush to a conclusion just for the sake of speed. On the contrary, they appreciate taking the time to immerse themselves in issues and information to make sure they arrive at the wisest decision. Spiritually, primary Water types embody and share the gift of peace, demonstrating that even in the face of conflict, we can pause our racing thoughts, find quiet within ourselves, and create an effective outcome.
When your primary archetype is Water, you’ll exhibit distinguishing capabilities and attitudes. These qualities persist and are expressed regularly in your personal behaviors and preferences, the self-care activities you favor, and the way others perceive you.
Here are a couple of basic Water archetype indicators to be aware of: When feeling resilient, primary Water people solve complex problems with ease, avoiding the trap of becoming entangled in other people’s emotions and ensnared in human drama. On the other hand, when feeling insecure, Water types lack their usual sense of tenacity and willpower, retreating into their inner thoughts and believing they don’t have anything of value to add.
This is why it’s important for Waters to recognize when it’s time to self-regulate, rather than react in a maladaptive manner when faced with challenge. Sometimes we become so caught up in our dysfunctional thoughts and belief patterns that we can’t easily distinguish between rightful action and reactive behavior. To help you know when you’re in a state of imbalance and are more likely to make a dysfunctional choice, Water types should be on the lookout for times when they:
The ultimate outcomes I hope you achieve as a result of practicing the Five Archetypes method as a primary Water are twofold: self-empowerment and empathy for others. I want you to strengthen your personal resolve. I want you to know your unique brand of Water-centered resilience so you can exercise it in the face of friction and conflict. When life’s influences and forces lead you toward choices and behaviors that feel most Water-type comfortable, such as over-isolating in times of stress, I want you to have the awareness to recognize that your comfort zone is not always your sacred path. With time and patience, you’ll establish a foundation of insight and understanding for how to maintain your individuality while simultaneously enveloping those around you with compassion and kindness.
If Water is your secondary archetype, it modifies your primary way of engaging in the world, meaning Water behaviors and proclivities more often reveal themselves within your character than your lower three archetypal traits, but not as often as your primary traits.
For instance, as a secondary Water, you may notice that Water-specific challenges such as not having enough time to think through problems can irk you. These Water-typical challenges won’t chronically provoke you the way your primary trials will, but you will likely notice times when you have Water needs you want met and Water frustrations you seek to avoid. Arm yourself with the Water knowledge in this chapter so you have access to Water-balancing activities when the need arises.
Here are some archetype-based traits you may notice in yourself or others who have secondary Water:
Becoming aware of the fact that Water is your lowest archetype sheds light on the archetype-based skills that may be harder for you to access overall. Your low Water is likely to become more evident to you in times of stress when you can’t quiet your worry or panicked thoughts.
If Water is your lowest archetype, you may not be drinking enough water or getting good sleep. You may also struggle creating adequate time to care for yourself and thoroughly evaluate the benefits and drawbacks of relationships and business opportunities. With lowest Water, you also may not do a great job of pausing regularly to recover from your busy existence. Additionally, those who score lowest in the Water archetype may find it challenging to find solutions to their own problems, relying upon and asking too many people for their opinions on what to do. Those with lowest Water may believe it’s a waste of time to rest and are more likely to feel more confident in relationships than going solo.
Having an awareness of your lowest archetype, however, can show you where you need to focus your efforts for building overall resilience to daily stress. Additionally, recognizing that Water is your lowest force and doing the work to increase Water characteristics propels you to build more rewarding interpersonal relationships and improves your ability to listen without judgment.
The Five Archetypes method begins with optimization, a process that comprises three steps, which remain the same no matter which archetype is your primary. They are:
As a result of optimizing your primary archetype, you will cultivate more empathy and compassion—for yourself and others—and replace old, ineffectual patterns with empowerment. You will embody stability and security in the face of upset. Optimization will also give you elegance and agility at times when you’re feeling powerless or tossed about like a rudderless sailboat in response to unpredictable and unstable predicaments—and help you navigate those unchartered waters with more grace and stability.
When your Water is balanced, you will notice that it contributes the strengths of deep knowledge, enlightenment, contentment, and courage to your life, your relationships, and the broader global community.
A balanced Water also helps us:
We create a peaceful sense of calm and balance in our lives and in the lives of others when we can easily access the positive aspects of our Water archetype. But sometimes our Water becomes unstable, stressed, and unavailable to us. When this happens, we don’t feel a sense of certitude, and it’s difficult to solve problems for ourselves or in our relationships. Luckily, Water gives us warning signs to help us know when this is happening.
Stressed Water manifests as:
At its core, recognizing your strong and stressed Water characteristics in Step One is about shifting how you use your time. Many of us rush through life, hoping everything goes well and nothing gets in the way of our ticking off all the items on our to-do list. In such a state, we are more likely to ignore the early signs of internal stress and relationship problems. However, early detection allows us to stave off issues well before they become annoying, difficult situations.
Step One in the optimization process invites you to make time to notice subtle clues that may direct you to course-correct, or perhaps to stay right where you are and move a little faster toward your goal.
Start practicing this step by recognizing and tracking your Water stress and strength states. Recognizing asks you to look and observe, not judge and criticize. There is no right or wrong, good or bad in these states. They’re your teachers. They help you know what type of action to take so you continue to develop internal strength and expand healthy relationship skills. Just notice your feelings and thoughts when you decide to engage in and sustain—or, alternately, to avoid—smiling at or making eye contact with someone who’s looking at you. Become aware of when you’re being overly negative about potential events or projects. Familiarize yourself with these things, and remember to simply pay attention to your Water tendencies.
Once you get used to noticing when and how your Water states make themselves apparent in your daily life, you may also choose to track your symptoms or challenge states. Many people are pleasantly surprised at how easy it becomes to take more control over their more challenging states and to self-regulate just by taking a little time to notice their inclinations throughout the day.
Over time, you may surprise yourself by spotting patterns of thoughts and behaviors you usually miss when moving through your day detached from the motivations behind your actions. When you slow down and make a concerted effort to notice your Water states, you’re more likely to become aware that your stress thoughts and behaviors always reach a peak around certain types of people in your life. You may notice that when you can take your time getting things done for a new client because there’s no strict deadline, you usually feel more resilient to the times when people want to excessively engage in small talk when you never really realized that connection before. You may also start to become cognizant of the fact that you don’t need to spend inordinate amounts of time with close friends and family to demonstrate how much you care about them, which is different from how some others engage in relationships. In those moments, you may begin to appreciate the unique value of your Water gift of silence and retreat in nurturing the growth of relationships. The more you pay close attention to your Water tendencies in your daily interactions, the more frequently and clearly you’ll recognize with empathy the impact your Water thoughts, behaviors, and propensities have on other people.
You now know how Water looks and feels when it’s strong and when it’s stressed, but let’s take a look at why primary Waters get stressed out in the first place.
As Dr. Cowan teaches in the Tournesol Kids #PowerUp program—a nonprofit we created together to teach parents, teachers, and kids the skills for self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy—we only experience our stress states when our particular needs for safety are not met. Our individual needs for feeling secure correspond directly to our primary archetype. Just as Water’s strength and stress conditions are unique, so are the particular needs a primary Water type requires to feel balanced and avoid feeling too much stress.
For example, you’ll see in the list on the next page that primary Water people require regular quiet time and space to think through ideas and solve problems. When Water people go too long without these needs being met, their stressed behaviors and feelings begin manifesting. However, it’s up to them to recognize which of their needs are not being met and to make a plan to bring peace and calm back into their lives. If primary Waters were to expect others to meet their needs for adequate space and quiet, they would be setting themselves up for disappointment, which leads to aggravation and annoyance toward themselves and toward the people who “don’t get” them. Ultimately, expecting others to fulfill your needs for you only drives a wedge in your relationships and stokes emotions that make it difficult for you to access your naturally wise Water gifts.
This is why I’ve created a “needs list” for primary Waters, inspired by what I’ve learned from Dr. Cowan, so you as a Philosopher can better understand your specific needs and avoid getting stuck in situations that distract you from your gentle path. Recognizing and meeting your individual needs for safety will help you feel articulate, protected, and motivated to take good care of yourself and your relationships.
NOTE: If Water is not your primary archetype, you can still refer to this Water’s Needs List to better understand and empathize with the primary Water people in your life. The more skilled you become at empathizing with the needs of others, the more success you’ll have in your interpersonal relationships. For more information on how to more harmoniously interact with the other Water types in your life, turn to page 264.
If your primary archetype is Water, use the needs list to help you:
To help you get started, think of a current struggle you’re having. Then take a look over the needs list to see if there is a need related to your struggle that you wish you could fulfill right now.
Be mindful that this needs exercise is not about what others aren’t giving you or doing for you, as Dr. Cowan teaches. Instead, it’s about gaining an awareness of which of your core needs for safety are not being met at that moment and figuring out what you can do to have your needs met.
Keep in mind, your individual “needs” work is about empowering yourself to observe how you’re feeling and to take control over creating internal harmony. It’s about figuring out how you can get your own needs met, not about expecting other people or outside circumstances to change so that you get what you want. I’d be willing to bet you’ve tried that before and have come up empty-handed. Expecting others to complete us simply doesn’t work—sorry, Jerry McGuire!
This is not to say we shouldn’t empathize with and care for each other or meet each other’s needs within relationships. The sign of a strong relationship is when we can have compassion for and meet each other’s shared needs for safety. Take a look back over Neha Chawla’s advice for building and nurturing strong relationships on pages 36–38 for a refresher.
Remember that the only thing in this world you can control is you. Take some time to review the needs list that corresponds to your primary archetype. When your stress states creep up, pause instead of reacting. Then practice taking action to acquire the items on the list that you need in your life. Doing so will reduce the frequency and severity of your stress states and allow you to recover from them more quickly and easily. As a result, you’ll feel better more of the time and enjoy more fulfilling relationships.
The highest level of having your needs met is being able to meet them for yourself. Being aware of and figuring out how to meet your needs for safety is the way to continuously grow stronger throughout your lifetime. When you’re self-aware, self-reliant, empathetic, and empowered to meet your own needs, your life experience is exponentially elevated.
Step Two in the optimization process requires that you recognize which specific unmet Water needs for safety are initiating your unpleasant emotions. The more you practice noticing your stress and strength states, the easier it will be for you to identify and even predict why you’re feeling low. Making this connection subsequently brings you closer to taking control over the seemingly inexplicable ebb and flow of your emotions.
For example, a frequent stress trigger for primary Water people is feeling inextricably tied to someone else’s timeline. When primary Waters feel pressured to conform to a particular schedule, their fear of not having enough time and space to adequately make decisions is roused. In the face of such fear, a primary Water person may become grouchy, aggravated, and absentminded, and seek to escape and be alone.
When left unaddressed, these worrisome emotions magnify. In Water types, this intensification could result in:
To start practicing Step Two as a primary Water, examine a current stressor that’s bothering you. Next, identify the feelings that come up for you as a result of this particular challenge. Your emotions are your need identifiers. Water types sometimes react to challenging situations by feeling a sense of alarm or trepidation. However, here I’m asking you to pause with these uncomfortable emotions instead of reacting to them and consider that your feelings are there to help you identify your unmet needs for safety in this moment. Once you’ve identified your feelings, pause for a moment and ask yourself what unmet need(s) the emotions are telling you that you should focus on from your needs list.
If you’re feeling anxious, afraid, indifferent, or withdrawn, Step Two asks you to notice it. Observe and don’t react. Try to identify what your frightful Water emotions are telling you that you need in that moment. Are you feeling pressure from other people about a looming deadline? Are your friends or coworkers pushing you to participate in too many non-essential group activities? Are people around you being too dramatic or asking you to make decisions you’re not ready to make?
Any of these examples can push buttons for primary Water people, but the more you practice pausing and observing what comes up for you in challenging situations, the more you’ll remain calm and notice which of your needs aren’t being met instead of experiencing a lack of confidence or self-critical thinking. When you know what is causing your Water energy to get caught up in fright and apprehension, you grow closer to becoming more resilient to your triggers on a regular basis.
Step Three in the optimization process is about taking action. This is the step for building your foundation of resilience and making new stress-response choices. This is where you begin to build new habits and behaviors, which translate into the creation of new and healthier neural pathways over time and, ultimately, to balance within your primary archetype.
Armed with new information about the source of your stressors from Step Two, you’re more aware of where your unpleasant feelings are coming from. You understand that they’re directly related to whether or not you’re having your needs for safety met. Other people and outside circumstances may initiate uncomfortable events, but how you choose to respond is ultimately your decision. If you elect to react while your Water is unbalanced, you and those around you will spend more time in discomfort.
On the other hand, if your Water is balanced, you will be more in control of your reactive states under stress and actually reduce the amount of time you and the others spend in uneasiness. Reducing your reactivity enables clear thinking, creative problem solving, smoother conflict resolution, and limitless compassion for yourself and others. When you have more control over your stress reactions, you will live a more fulfilling and well-adjusted life.
Let’s get to the core of how to cultivate a balanced Water archetype. While Water is the power of understanding the deeper meanings behind everyday occurrences, if it’s not nurtured and channeled properly, it can distort your ability to share your brilliance with the world. The Water archetype needs to support you by contributing its steady and articulate guidance, not its stressed qualities. You also need your Water to be balanced so it can help temper and balance the stress states of the other four archetypes within you. Ultimately, as a primary Water, your Water archetype needs to work for you so it can improve your life, instead of making it stressful.
Balanced Water presents itself as the ability to consistently access and share our wisdom with the world, while patiently teaching others to access their own determination, courage, and capabilities.
As you know, Water is guided by the need to create an existence steeped in purposeful meaning. Waters are deeply devoted to their family and small circle of friends. But just as water without boundaries disappears deep into the ground or, on the surface, evaporates under too much heat, Water’s instability can manifest as becoming too unfocused or as withdrawing completely.
We become balanced by taking specific and consistent action that builds and protects the body, mind, and spirit components of our archetypal nature. Eastern well-being philosophies like TCM state that whole health is not achieved by simply addressing one of these three aspects of our overall being. They teach that these three aspects are inextricably connected within us. For example, a physical imbalance is likely to cause emotional unrest that, left unmanaged, can manifest as larger existential conundrums. Consummate balance is the result of a combined effort to empower all three intertwined parts. You’ll notice that the tasks for balancing all five archetypes draw upon all three realms: mind, body, and spirit.
Now that you’re familiar with Steps One and Two of the optimization process, in which you learned about Water’s archetypal traits and needs for safety, it’s time to learn how to balance your Water archetype—and even how to help other Water types do the same.
There are two important ways of doing so:
Water self-care in a moment of emotional alarm requires specific archetypal skills, which are different from those you’ll use for building resilience over time. Faced with an exceedingly difficult situation, a primary Water person will have a hard time avoiding growing feelings of aggravation and withdrawal. In these heightened states of stress, primary Waters will also not have easy access to their usually outstanding ability to problem solve.
But in Water’s most frustrating moments, such as when fear and negative thinking become exceptionally intense, Wood serves as Water’s immediate stress-release valve. Wood activities, behaviors, thoughts, and people are all great at soothing Water types and helping them recover quickly from stress.
Some Wood tools for releasing the initial pressure include:
Once the severity of the emotions subsides and a calm sensibility returns, primary Waters regain the composure to mobilize skills from all five archetypes to help resolve the problem that initiated the feelings of insecurity in the first place.
When you, as a primary Water, feel adequately composed and prepared to begin problem solving, choose the archetype-based activities from the lists on pages 258–63 that correspond to the strengths you most need in the moment. Examples of the strengths that correspond to each type are:
Another way to achieve balance in your Water archetype is to practice your maintenance activities over the long term to ensure you remain resilient in the face of stress as you progress. With a strong, reliable foundation of resilience built over time, you will be better able to observe your challenges and not react to them. The better you become at avoiding reactive states, the more quickly you recover from stress and return to enjoying life.
Begin your maintenance regimen by practicing activities that support your primary Water archetype. Start first by choosing one or two activities from the Water list to practice every day.
Next, identify one or two activities from the archetype list that correspond to the archetype in which you scored the lowest. Add these items to your daily Water archetype routine. Don’t forget, it’s important to practice your lowest archetype, even if it’s your least favorite type of activity (which I’m willing to bet it is). Exercising your most vulnerable archetype minimizes the gap between your highest and lowest archetypes, expanding your ability to be more emotionally dexterous when challenges arise.
Finally, practice activities that correlate to the challenges you’re currently facing. Here are some examples to help you identify which archetypal skills in the lists on pages 50–59 you will need and will find most helpful as a primary Water:
Choose from among these Water activities to get you started on building your Water maintenance regimen:
Metal-Building Activities
Wood-Building Activities
Fire-Building Activities
Earth-Building Activities
Ultimately, your Water archetype is balanced when you:
I don’t want to leave you hanging, wondering when and how you’ll know you’re in harmony as a primary Water.
Again, harmonization is not an absence of stress and challenge. For primary Waters, it’s about being able to navigate the challenging moments of your own life while empathizing with and supporting those around you whose Water archetype may be low and in need of a boost. At its core, harmonization allows you to have unconditional love for yourself and those around you.
When you, as a primary Water, are harmonized, you’re likely to experience many, if not all, of the attitudes and behaviors noted below.
As our personal awareness and resilience in the face of stress expands, we are less triggered by other people’s opinions, moods, and tendencies. We also become less likely to attach to relationships that don’t serve us well or in which our needs for safety aren’t being met. As we strengthen our individual Five Archetypes skills, we are better equipped to form equally strong bonds with individuals from any one of the Five Archetypes because we see the benefit and the beauty of the gifts they each bring to the companionship.
In this section, Waters will gain guidance for building and maintaining propitious relationships, and non-primary Waters will learn how to engage in healthy relationships with primary Water types.
To be a good Water partner in any relationship, practice staying in balance by knowing your strengths, challenges, and needs, and by practicing the Water long-term maintenance activities beginning on page 258 to remain a consistently stable partner. This will ensure that you approach relationship challenges from a place of calm compassion for yourself and your companions.
When you commit to doing the work that keeps your Water in balance, you contribute the following strengths to your interpersonal relationships:
When your primary Water is balanced, you also possess the following characteristics that benefit the global community:
On the other hand, when your primary Water is not in balance, it shows up in your interpersonal relationships as:
When your primary Water is unbalanced, watch out for these potential behaviors that could manifest and affect your global community:
In the following pages, you will learn how primary Waters exhibit themselves at work, in intimate relationships, and as parents. Remember, The Five Archetypes is a primer for beginners, so I’m just touching on the basic concepts to help you understand, evaluate, and adjust the flow of the primary Water archetype within you for the best personal and interpersonal outcomes.
When applied to the workplace, the Five Archetypes method expands your ability and the ability of your coworkers to get things done efficiently. Moreover, when employees and colleagues feel safe, seen, understood, and appreciated in the workplace, they navigate challenges more easily and therefore are less reactive when in stress states, which ultimately translates to a healthier bottom line.
To enhance your awareness of times when your Water staff or coworkers feel safe and when they feel insecure, there are some common tendencies to watch out for. When you see your colleagues exhibiting their insecure states, it’s time to pause and fortify yourself so you don’t jump into your reactive states as a result. Get to know these common strengths, needs, and stress states:
Enjoying mutually gratifying friendships starts with you knowing how to be a good friend to others. To consistently show up as a steady, sincere, reliable friend, check out these Five Archetypes guidelines:
As a friendship grows, how do we continue to nurture and strengthen that bond using the Five Archetypes method? When you know your friend’s primary archetype, you will better understand what makes them feel safe and what makes them feel insecure. Here are some additional suggestions for what primary Water people will likely appreciate in a close friendship.
Waters like spending time with people who:
When you care about someone, you sympathize with their pain and want them to feel better. The Five Archetypes model helps us understand that people have unique stress triggers and also have different paths to de-stressing. Here’s how to help your primary Water friends recover more quickly from stress states.
Cheer up a Water friend by demonstrating confidence in his abilities. Point out how his wisdom and determination helped you believe in new potential and feel more confident taking courageous action to improve your own life. Water will also benefit from spending time with you doing something methodical, like organizing a closet or rearranging the furniture in a room.
Primary Water people bestow a sense of calm groundedness upon a union. Your Water partner will listen to you with patience and stillness to help you gain a broader perspective on your dilemmas. Water will write you a love poem that touches your heart with profound meaning. He makes sure you balance your social life with adequate rest and is fully committed to his family unit. Water will hold you for a long time at night and laze around in bed on Sunday morning for hours like there’s no place else in the world to be.
When Water types feel insecure, they exhibit specific patterns of disharmony in a relationship. Stressed Waters fear being vulnerable and making the wrong choice. When they really feel low, they worry about being misunderstood and spend too much time alone, disconnecting from conversation and becoming prone to bouts of depression.
Here are some tips for how you can be a strong partner to a primary Water type.
Your parent-child relationship is impacted not only by the intersection between your and your child’s primary archetypes but also by how you perceive your purpose as a parent. When you see your parental role as compassionate guide and teacher and empower your kids to master life skills so they become strong, resilient adults, you’re more likely to build a strong relationship with your child and feel fulfilled by the parenting journey.
To create a gratifying and lasting relationship with your primary Water child using the Five Archetypes method, start by identifying and balancing your own primary archetype. Get to know yourself in strength and in stress. Understand your button pushers so that you’re best able to remain in a state of resilience and compassionate power when faced with your triggers. You’ll be the most outstanding advocate and nurture a respectful, strong relationship with your child when you serve as a heroic example of how to manage stress, triggers, and disappointment.
Then find out your child’s primary archetype. Help him become more self-aware and self-reliant by teaching him how to recognize and celebrate his gifts. Empower him to overcome stress states with ease by understanding what pushes his buttons and giving him the Five Archetypes tools to become more resilient to his triggers.
As you know, Dr. Cowan is a pioneer of using the five types as a methodology for healthy child development. Here are some points, inspired by his work, to keep in mind when parenting a child whose primary archetype is Water:
Water people prefer wellness activities that don’t require conformity to someone else’s specific or strict timeline. They’ll gravitate toward individual pursuits they find meaningful, rather than joining a group class or a high-energy competitive sport. For example, Water people appreciate the benefits and practice of meditation, but would more likely meditate on their own rather than join an organized class they had to attend at a specific time each day.
Water people may also struggle sticking to a food plan or regimen. They may find it hard to eat enough or to stop mindlessly grazing throughout the day. While they’ll thrive with structure, Water people shy away from it, so a diet that offers some amount of flexibility and self-management may work better for them.
If you’re a primary Water, focus your wellness pursuits around gentle structure, autonomy, and deep meaning and you will be more likely to stick with the program.
With regard to incorporating Ayurvedic wellness practices into your everyday life, remember that the Water archetype corresponds to the first Chakra. In the chart on the next page, you will find some gentle Ayurvedic practices that will help engage and balance this chakra.
The first Chakra is known as the Root Chakra. According to Ayurveda, the Root Chakra governs security and survival; when in balance, it correlates to Water’s courage and steadfast will.
Using Ayurvedic practices is a safe and empowering option to complement any health-care regimen. Peruse the selection of Ayurvedic lifestyle practices below that correspond to your primary Water archetype. Feel free to try the ones that feel like a good fit as you assemble your menu of healthy lifestyle practices.
Oversees: Connection of divine consciousness with material life, connection with Mother Earth, security, survival, physical energy, self-preservation |
Location: Base of the spine, kidney, spinal column, back, feet, hips, legs |
Color: Red |
Mantra: Lam |
Yoga: Mountain pose, sun salutations, wide-legged forward fold, bridge pose, savasana |
Gemstones: Red garnet, black tourmaline, tiger’s eye |
Mudra (a hand gesture that’s said to stimulate a specific sense of focus and balance): Prithvi mudra, hakini mudra |
Foot marma (a pressure point that’s said to enhance mind-body balance when massaged): Point on the outside edge of the foot about two inches from the heel at the bottom quarter of the foot |
Aromatherapy: Black pepper, rosemary, cedar wood, vetiver, angelica, ginger, frankincense, lavender |
Taste: Astringent |
Dear Water Friends,
I want to leave you with some parting thoughts as you ponder your future with a Five Archetypes perspective on life:
Remember, you have an unparalleled capacity to create new methods for solving age-old conundrums. Please remember to share your wisdom, because at times you can get caught up thinking about myriad possibilities rather than enlightening us with your wonderful insights. We are quite moved and appreciative of hearing what you have to offer.
You are singular in your ability to listen, learn new things, and problem solve. I am personally indebted to you for:
- Compassionately showing me the reflection of myself in your reactions to my Fiery behavior so I more adeptly self-correct.
- Teaching me to be less gullible.
- Reminding me that there is benefit in meditation even when my Fire would rather be doing absolutely anything else more entertaining.
I wrote a haiku for you in honor of the gifts you bestow upon the world.
- Your will runs so deep
- A courage that doesn’t halt
- The world needs you more
With a humble spirit,
Carey