By Kristen Flowers

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Table of Contents

I leaned back in the mesh chair and looked around my brand new office. My mouth fell open in a yawn as I reached up to readjust my headband. I put it on that morning in an attempt to tame my wild curls. Like so many other things in my life, it didn’t seem to work.

I sat up and opened the appointment book sitting on my desk, only to find a client was scheduled to arrive in fifteen minutes. I let out a small gasp and shot straight up out of the chair. How did I forget about the appointment? It wasn’t like I had that many to keep track of.

I placed a hand flat on my chest and the other on my stomach. My chest expanded as I inhaled deep and then exhaled slowly. I needed to get a hold of my nerves. I opened my eyes to look around the new place. It still smelled like fresh paint. It was so fresh in fact I’d occasionally find some had dripped in my hair when I took showers at the end of the day.

I loved the scent of fresh paint even more than how smooth and inviting the pale blue walls looked. Maybe I was a weirdo for that.

I sat down again and leaned back in my chair. After all, the client wasn’t due for another fifteen minutes and everything was ready to go. It had been ready to go a few minutes after I had arrived at the office. I always wanted to be prepared before anything else. I took a deep breath as if to brace myself and tried to take a sip of the homemade kombucha tea my best friend, Shellsea, gave me.

The moment it hit my taste buds I wrinkled my nose and covered my mouth, willing myself not to spit it out for its awful taste. I forced it down my throat and hurled a loud coughing breath.

“Gosh, it's like it’s already been digested.” I mumbled as I drew it away from my face to take a look at it.

I stared at the somewhat murky liquid, trying to recall all the reasons it was good for me. Shellsea had prattled them off when she packaged it up for me. I tried my best to convince myself that it was indeed good for me. But considering how it looked and how it tasted, it was a tough sell. Shellsea’s little speech on the benefits of drinking something so allegedly wondrous was rapidly becoming less convincing. I was quickly developing and aversion to the stuff.

And it only took a couple sips.

“Ugh,” I muttered, holding up the glass and peering at it against the light. I shut my eyes and shook my head. “Come on, get it together. It’ll be good... in the long run.”

I had just closed my lips around the rim of the glass to brave another sip when there was a knock at the door. I set the glass down, said a few silent prayers for not having to taste anymore, and stood up slowly. It had to be the client at the door.

“Come in,” I called out after clearing my throat of the murky wretchedness clinging to the back of my mouth. I immediately regretted not walking up to the door and actually opening it to greet my one and only client of the day. I briefly scolded myself inside my head. I was still getting used to the whole “being your own boss” thing.

The door opened and in stepped a tall, Greek god of an athlete. My jaw dropped and my eyes stared; or rather gobbled him up. I opened my mouth to greet him, but as he neared me I was struck with an instant case of mutism. He had a distractingly handsome face. He was easily taller than six feet, had light brown hair and golden tanned skin that made his hazel eyes look absolutely gorgeous.

His thin lips curled into a smile, or more like a smirk. I quickly came to my senses; he had probably already caught on that I found him drop-dead-gorgeous and it was definitely not a professional way to start the appointment. I gratefully pushed my tea to the side behind the small potted plant on my desk. I’d much rather deal with him than any more of Satan’s toilet water.

I smiled widely.

“Welcome,” I said in a soft and pleasant voice. “You’re right on time.” I took the opportunity to covertly peer over at my appointment book to double check his name before directing him to the massage table in the small room next to the office.

He nodded and strutted over, making me wonder if he always walked that way or if he was doing it just to give me a little show. Either way, I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy watching the swing of his broad shoulders and the view of his tight-toned ass. He was definitely an athlete who had lucked out to have such a distractingly handsome face. I walked up to the room and closed the door behind him, giving privacy for him to disrobe and climb onto the massage table.

After a few minutes I knocked and he murmured, “Come in.”

He already sounded rather relaxed, which would make my job a bit easier save for the fact that my mind was already running wild with thoughts of how his exposed muscles would look. Hand still on the doorknob ready to twist, I took a moment to indulge in a bit of fantasy.

Maybe if I get it out of my system it’ll be easier. I thought before drifting off into a dreamland, envisioning his golden tanned body shining under the lights of the massage room. His thick plates of muscles would be more alluring than they already had been hidden by his T-shirt.

I already knew what it would be like to sink my hands into those corded shoulders. I’ve already worked with plenty of athletes before, but that didn’t mean I didn’t crave to feel his muscles. My breath skipped as I thought about my fingers digging into those taut buttocks and kneading the muscular flesh. My pulse started to rise in spite of my need to be professional.

My eyes shot open and I made note of another mental reminder; it was far too important to be professional than to ruin anything by running away with this little fantasy of mine. It could quickly go from harmless to harmful and that wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. Job and career before fantasies—always.

Still, I gulped.

I finally twisted the knob and pushed the door open only to see him splayed out on my table, face up. I took in a deep breath, forcing calm and restraint through my system. That wasn’t how I expected to find him, but it wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary either. I spritzed some massage oil on my hands and rubbed them together before stepping forward, “Shall we begin?”

“Go for it,” he muttered coolly.

As I started to work, running my hands over his body, he let out soft groans of pleasure. It was a sound so sensual I didn’t quite know how to deal with it. I was unable to ignore it and my chest started to pound. In spite of myself, my gaze trailed down to the area of his body covered with a sheet. I quickly checked to make sure his eyes were closed as he enjoyed my touch on his sore muscles.

Then my nervous breath stopped altogether.

I saw the sheet draped over his manhood start to rise. A lump lodged in my throat. I bit my bottom lip, unable to tear my gaze off the very sizeable tent that was starting to be pitched. I stared for a moment longer before another soft groan pulled me back to my senses, at least enough to look away from his covered but obviously hardening self. I turned to watch his face relax. His lips parted in a sigh of contentment under my capable hands. I finally exhaled, feeling my spirit lift a bit.

I was getting into the groove of it, finding a way to enjoy the sensuous sounds coming from him while still remaining (mostly) professional.

Then it hit me.

The most god-awful wretched gurgling sound I had ever heard emanated from my stomach—enough to make my client open his eyes and look at me with scrunched eyebrows.

The kombucha!

I tried to breathe normally even though my stomach felt like it was being squeezed through a vice. Normal was the last thing I was capable of being. The horrific chaos the kombucha was inflicting on my poor innards was too much to handle.

This was urgent.

I placed my hands on his arm, “I’ll be just one moment...”

It was all the dignity I could muster before darting out of the room with clenched butt cheeks.

______________________________

"So no, thank you though. I really don't want any more kombucha."

I was sitting at an all-natural juice bar with Shellsea. She tossed her pretty long blond hair over her shoulder before staring off into the distance for several moments. I could tell she was cooking up something in her head. What persuasive anecdote or lecture was she coming up with now? So I started to clear my mind and prepare myself to say NO to whatever Shellsea was coming up with next. After that horribly embarrassing experience, I certainly wasn’t in any rush to have any more kombucha tea.

“I’ve figured it out,” she said slowly, still staring off into space. Shellsea’s stunning green eyes looked back at me like she had just come up with a brilliant idea. “Your gut environment must be too acidic!”

“And just what the hell does that mean?” I felt oddly defensive. My gut environment was too acidic? Nonsense. My gut environment was just fine.

Actually I had no idea what she was talking about.

“It means you need to introduce more basic elements into your diet,” Shellsea said flatly.

I got the feeling she was shocked that I didn’t know about gut environment and basic elements in diet. It wasn’t general knowledge, but Shellsea tended to act like it was, especially between the two of us. I picked gloomily at my kale and micro green salad as I thought about what she had just said. When it started to sink in, I looked up and nodded thoughtfully before staring back down at my salad in disappointment. All I wanted was a nice juicy steak and not some bowl of healthy plants that looked like they were plucked out of a field.

It made me think Shellsea had even more of a point. I shouldn’t want steak; I should want the salad.

I stuffed a forkful of salad into my mouth, telling myself I didn’t need a steak. Steak is an indulgence and everything needs to be in moderation. I told myself as I stared at my bowl of green leafy vegetables with depression.

There was a clatter from a falling plate at the table next to us and my mind went back to the ‘conversation’ I was having with Shellsea. I realized I had been nodding the whole time while slowly munching on a bite of kale. I hadn’t even been paying attention to a word she was saying.

Shellsea’s smile was brimming in an almost frightening manner. "I'll bring over my mother tomorrow!"

I had no clue how long I had been spaced out and I missed a whole chunk of the conversation. What had I just agreed to?

"Wait, your mom is coming?"

Shellsea looked at me like I was a crazy person. "That's funny, Mira. I mean the mother for the kombucha."

My eyes widened. I didn’t know what exactly the ‘mother of a kombucha’ was, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t anything I wanted to try. I had already had the regular kombucha, now I had to have the mother of kombucha. I could already feel my stomach wrenching.

“Oh,” I muttered.

I was thoroughly unconvinced with the whole thing, but I didn’t have it in me to take back whatever agreement I had just made by accident. Besides, it had to be good for me, right? I told myself that once I got my diet and “gut environment,” sorted out, then I would find inner peace for sure. And since inner peace was ultimately what I was after, I was willing to take the tough road until I reached the path of peace.

Shellsea cheerfully sorted out the trash, recycling, and compost on her tray. Then she stood up and dropped everything in the appropriate dispenser. She kissed the air next to my cheek and trotted off, leaving me alone so I could continue convincing myself this would be good for me.

Despite knowing better, I opened up my laptop the second I got home. I wanted to find out what exactly a “kombucha mother” was. As soon as the images loaded up, I nearly vomited on the keyboard. It looked beyond disgusting—the exact kind of thing I wanted to keep out of my body.

This road to peacefulness and Zen wasn’t looking very peaceful at all.

"Wait, you're firing me?" The doe-eyed physical therapist said with shock.

She had wavy brown hair pinned back in two small braids and a flowing skirt with flowers embroidered along the hemline. She was cute, but she wasn’t working out. I slid off her table and stood up. At least she had the good sense to turn away as I pulled on my pants.

I sighed, reached into my wallet and winced a little from the lingering pain around my shoulder. I peeled out a few bills. The rustling of the money got her to turn around and look at me. Her eyes lit up. Of course seeing the crisp bills in my hands caught her attention—it gets everyone’s attention.

"Severance pay, sweetheart. It's not working out,” I told her before I shoved the money into her hands. 

The young doe-eyed girl nodded. Although the edges of her mouth were turned down, her eyes shined as she counted the money. Then she stuffed the bills into her far-too-sheer sports bra top. At first I liked her so-called ‘uniform’, but now I was over and done with her.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Montgomery," she simpered. "I wish you speedy healing."

Money talks. It’s practically a fact of life. Look at how quickly she changed her tune. Now that she had extra money in hand she wasn’t trying to convince me that she could treat my injury with herbs and chakra oils or whatever she called it.

I rolled my eyes and walked out to my car before she had a chance to say anything else. The last thing I wanted to deal with was hearing some lame excuse come out of her painted red lips in an effort to squeeze more money out of me. I knew I shouldn’t have been driving even though my torn rotator cuff was mostly healed up, but I was damn tired of not doing anything for myself. 

I let out a long sigh as my phone started to ring.

“Axel,” my manager, Larry, yelled. He always talked like he was trying to get me to hear him over a wood chipper or something. “How did the session go?”

“I’m not going back to her,” I told him plainly.

Larry let out an audible and exaggerated sigh. He was obviously frustrated. I knew what was coming; he was going to try smoothing over everything in an effort to get me to go back to the therapist, but it wasn’t going to happen.

“Look, Axel, come on. I’m gonna level with you on this, okay? I’m running out of qualified sports therapists in the area. You can’t just, you know, do this sort of thing. It’s not like finding a taco stand or sandwich shop. There’s only so many therapists you can go to. You’re, well, you know who you are and what it means to get that cuff fixed. I can’t just be, you know, sendin’ you to any old therapist. J- just give her another–”

"Find someone else," I cut him off. Larry was starting to stammer and say things that nobody wanted to hear, especially me. "Doesn't matter the cost." I knew how this worked and I was lucky enough to be able to throw money where it needed to be thrown.

Larry sighed and stayed quiet for a minute too long. I quickly glanced at the screen to make sure the call hadn’t dropped. I knew Larry was either thinking up some sort of chit-chat I had no interest listening to, or he had already given in and was doing the research on the next therapist.

“Well... there’s a therapist out in the suburban wastelands. It’s a bit of a commute, but she does come highly recommended. Says she’s got great training, experience, understanding of what to do, gifted hands etcetera.”

“I like the sound of that,” I said, a small but satisfied smile curling up the corner of my lips. I knew if I didn’t give into Larry’s ramblings right off the bat I could usually get what I wanted. Even though Larry was a good manager, he could sometimes be a lazy son of a bitch.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. I knew he was annoyed, but I didn’t really care– it’s his to care, not mine. That’s what I paid for.

“What are you waiting for then? Book it,” I said before ending the call just as I was pulling up to the driveway of my house. The business day was over, at least for me. Everything else could be taken care of later. The most important thing was waiting for me at home.

I pulled up to my house and put the car in park, wincing at the pain in my bad shoulder. Just as I closed the car door behind me, the front door of the house flew open and the love of my life stood there waiting for me. I quickly grabbed my duffle bag out of the trunk and headed toward the front door.

She was beautiful in the late summer sun, blue eyes glittering with a wide smile that took my breath away. She was bouncing up and down and waving to me. My heart beat so fast I could hear it. I just wanted to have her in my arms.

It seemed like she was on the same page as me and couldn’t stand waiting any longer. She came flying out towards me with a shriek.

"Daddy!"

Little Molly slammed into my bad shoulder, making me wince, but I couldn’t care less. No amount of pain in the world could stop me from loving every second of her excitement. I carried her happily into the house anyway, pushing past the pain. Once inside, I set her down and crouched to be level with the most gorgeous blue eyes I had ever seen. I ran my hand through her dark brown hair and took in her smile, flashing a wide grin of my own.

“Guess what?” I squished her face between my two big hands before pulling a present out of the duffel bag I had placed on the floor. I gave her a new doll, which made her shriek with pure joy and immediately discard the one she had in her hand.

I laughed at how quick she was to toss her old toy aside. I kissed her on the cheek before standing up and pulling my cell phone out of my pocket to take a picture of her playing with her new doll. I snapped a few photos before deciding to record a snippet of her dancing in a circle with the toy. I smiled as I watched her, not only because nothing filled my heart more than seeing the light of my life shine so brightly, but also because she had no clue I had already bought a wardrobe for her new doll. That would only send her ecstatic happiness skyrocketing.

Molly stood up and hugged my leg, making my heart jump into my throat at the feeling of her little hands clutching at me. She pulled the doll over to the couch and climbed up to sit with crisscross legs and continue to play.

Janice, the nanny, was standing right next to the couch with arms crossed and a small smile on her face.

“Hello, Mr. Montgomery,” she greeted me, but I barely acknowledged her with a nod.

My eyes were fixated on Molly and my mind was too focused on her to properly greet Janice. I kind of blew past her in favor of tickling my daughter, who was now carefully sitting her new dolly beside her on the couch. Janice was used to that sort of treatment so she left the room and silently headed upstairs.

She didn’t take it personally. I’m sure she found it endearing to see just how enamored ‘The Axe’ was with his three-year-old daughter. She would come back down in about a half an hour to start dinner and let me have my personal time with Molly.

There was no doubt in my mind that if you pay people the right amount, they do what you want. Janice never asked for much and she didn’t take things personally. She knew this was a job. I was glad she and Molly had forged a bond. After all, I wouldn’t want Molly to feel like some stranger was raising her. But, at the end of the day, Janice knew when it was time to step aside and I appreciated that she knew her place.

I certainly paid her enough for it.

After I tickled Molly into a giggling fit, I pulled her onto my lap and watched her play with her new toy. She continued to coo and murmur nonsensical sounds. I had long given up trying to understand the conversations she had with her toys and imaginary friends. I leaned back and smiled.

“Honey,” I muttered after a few more minutes. “What did you and Janice do today?”

Molly hopped off my lap and landed with a bounce on the comfortable couch cushions, still clutching the doll. I laughed because I knew there was no taking away that toy now. Molly pointed to a little arts and crafts project on the coffee table. I didn’t have to ask which was hers, but she delighted in telling me anyway. Who was I to deny anything that made her cute little face light up?

She reached forward as she pointed at the picture and I instinctively swung my arm out to make sure she didn’t topple off the edge of the couch.

She wasn’t going to let up so I picked her up and set her down on the floor. She walked over and continued to talk about her little project. It looked like they did finger painting, but I couldn’t be sure. Arts and crafts were never a strong suit of mine. It was moments like these that made me happy that Molly had Janice around. She didn’t have much of a mother figure so I was thankful for what she did have.

In other words, I was even more grateful I had the money to keep Janice around for my daughter. With a smile on my face, I listened to what Molly had to say about her painting as I grabbed it to take a closer look. Molly squealed in delight and I immediately picked her up and planted a kiss on the tip of her nose.

My shoulder ached from picking her up, but I just pushed it to the back of my head and ignored it. 

I was lying in the center of my office floor, trying to clear my mind and focus on my breath. I was practicing a deep breathing technique that Shellsea recommended. It was supposed to help me to clear my mind and reach a ‘point of serenity.’

According to Shellsea it would help me better navigate my daily duties, but right now I was having trouble ignoring the rumbling in my stomach. I knew it was hunger, but I tried to convince myself it was my inner weakness trying to get me indulge in things I didn’t need. Everything in moderation!

This is stupid. I thought, but then immediately shushed myself.  I’ll never reach inner peace if I keep questioning everything. Then I realized I was overthinking everything. That’s what I tended to do when I didn’t check myself.

My mind drifted towards the cancellation I had earlier. I had one and only one client scheduled for the day, but got a call for a last-minute cancellation. My stomach knotted up and I knew it wasn’t just from hunger. I shushed myself again and shut my eyes, willing myself to focus on my breathing and a blank picture in my mind. I drew in another breath and exhaled.

This wasn’t the day this plan of mine was going to work out. Inner peace? There wasn’t anything peaceful about my innards at all.

My office phone rang. I practically lunged for it. I was happy for the interruption. My failed attempt at meditation was causing more stress than it should have. That was kind of the opposite of what it was supposed to do.

“Miranda Bach, massage therapist,” I answered with my best professional voice.

“I was told you specialize in sports massage,” the man on the other end of the line practically yelled gruffly. I was used to dealing with disgruntled agents, managers, and spoiled athletes, so his tone didn’t bother me. I barely even registered it.

“I do,” I responded as I checked my reflection in the mirror.

I was trying to listen to the man on the other end, but he was pretty much rambling and none of it was anything I hadn’t heard before. I leaned in closer to the mirror and wondered if I really did look a little more peaceful.

Maybe the meditation worked? I mouthed the question at the mirror. Or maybe I was just trying to convince myself I had actually achieved tranquility. I probably just wanted to believe I had. I zoned out a bit as the guy went on and on over the phone.

He probably needed tranquil meditation more than I did. I could only imagine how much spittle coated the mouthpiece of his phone.

When he finally paused to suck in a gasping breath, I took advantage of the silence, "Yes, I have extensive experience working on rotator cuff injuries.”

“That’s great, I need absolute assurance professional discretion is guaranteed. I can’t have—”

“Yes, of course professional discretion is guaranteed. I would be happy to take him on as a regular client.”

“Can you fit him in soon? If he can’t fit in soon I—”

“Yes, actually, I had a cancellation and would be happy to see him if he can make it in the next hour."  It felt like I was reciting a speech at that point, but I knew exactly what kinds of answers managers like him were looking for. Dealing with panic stricken agents was just part of the job.

The man sounded relieved and kept going on about this and that so I checked myself in the mirror again, this time turning to the side and wondering if the new gut-friendly diet Shellsea recommended was actually doing anything for the bloating I had noticed. Just as I wondered if the ‘diet’ was actually causing my bloating, I heard the man say something that caught me by surprise. There was no way I heard him correctly. 

"I'm sorry,” I interrupted. “What did you say your client's name was?"

"Axel Montgomery."

Panic.

My stomach felt worse than the moment the kombucha hit me. The very name sent a flood of angst throughout my body, fueled by teenage memories.

I suddenly felt like I was being unwillingly thrust into a time machine and shoved to the past. Sure, maybe I was too young to go to high school at the same time as him, but his shadow of fame and notoriety still loomed over the school by the time I went.

Axel Montgomery was my brother's best friend when I was growing up.

He was the walking embodiment of MAN during my late-blooming puberty years. He was always working out in our basement and playing shirtless backyard football with Zak. It was too much for my teenage hormone ridden body to deal with. He was my fantasy. To be fair, he was every girls fantasy. But I was the only girl that had him in my house twenty-four seven. I both loved and hated him being around so much when I was younger. He had always teased me; sometimes to the point of tears. But still, that never stopped me from fantasizing about him.

I gulped. I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Is that a problem?”

The man on the other end sounded slightly frazzled, but mostly impatient. He brought me back to the present. I was glad to be out of my little teenage flashback to the basement and all the other moments that shaped me as a blossoming young woman. I cleared my throat and shook my head, eyes wide and staring at my reflection in the mirror.

“Hello-o-o,” the man said obnoxiously on the other end.

I knew if I didn’t get it together I was going to lose out on a steady client. Not only that, Axel was a huge name in the sports world.

“Not at all,” I responded as brightly as possible. “I’m sorry, I had a minor interruption over here, but please don’t be concerned. That doesn’t happen often!”

The man grumbled, but told me Axel would be by for his first appointment later on. The call ended abruptly, but I didn’t care. I dropped my arm to my side and glanced in the mirror again. Now I definitely had no trace of inner peace, not even the faintest glimpse. I looked like a wild-eyed crazy person. And, maybe it was my imagination, but my hair looked like it was standing on end.

The mere mention of Axel’s name catapulted me into the very state I did not want to be in. I needed peace, tranquility, calmness. I didn’t need to be in some frazzled panic.

I groaned and tugged at the ends of my curly hair in frustration. I needed to do something to expel the negative energy and I needed to do it quick. I considered calling Shellsea, but that idea was fleeting. She had a hot yoga class on Tuesdays and wouldn’t answer her phone anyway. My mind switched tracks and I briefly considered calling Zak, but honestly I couldn’t deal with his jocularity when I was in full on panic-mode. And the mere thought of having to deal with that when talking to him about Axel already made my stomach tie up in knots.

I was left with only thing to do.

It was completely straying away from ‘moderation’ and sprinting straight into the arms of ‘indulgence’, but I couldn’t bring myself to give a damn. I ran out of the office, headed to the bakery two stores down, and crammed six cookies into my mouth like they were a sugary lifeline in a sea of panic and stress.

“Moderation can go fuck itself,” I muttered as I stuffed another gooey bite into my mouth. I swallowed every last morsel. I felt better already.

After wiping my mouth off and rubbing some sanitizer on my hands, I hustled back to the office. I was a little sweaty and a little agitated and I probably smelled like buttercream frosting, but it didn’t matter.

I was going to see none other than Axel Montgomery.

I had to be professional just like I was with everyone else. I walked up just in time to see a massive man hulking over the door. He was rattling the door to my office with an iron grip on the handle.

Instantly, fear flooded over me and I opened my mouth to scream for help just as I shoved my hand into my purse and reached for my pepper spray. Just as my fingers found the canister the man turned to look at me with an angry scowl on his face.

"You're late..." his voice trailed off. His eyes widened slowly, "Randy? Is that you?" He took a step forward and muttered, “Oh shit.”

I sucked in a deep breath and did everything in my power to keep my cool. I was to focused on the job and the job alone. But the moment our eyes met I knew that would be much harder said than done. Still, I pulled myself up and tried to maintain dignity even though I worried I had cookie crumbs on my face.

“Miranda, Axel. My name is Miranda”

I stared at her for a moment. The sound of her voice was the same as I remembered, only it was more grown up. The wheels in my head were turning, trying to catch up with everything. One minute I was being annoyed by my manager on the phone, the next I was angry the door was locked, and now I was standing in front of someone that used to be such a big part of my life. If someone had asked me about her on my drive over to the place I would’ve told them I would never see her again. When it hit me, the full realization that I was peering into the face of an old friend made a smile spread across my face. It was a mix of happiness and disbelief.

"You're fucking kidding me, little Randy?"

I barely paid attention to her rolling eyes as I looked her up and down. She had that same angry blush across her cheeks when I called her that nickname. She had always hated it, and apparently still hated it. She even sounded like she used to, trying desperately to correct me. It was all in vain, she was still little Randy to me. That hadn’t changed one bit but, from the looks of it however, pretty much everything else about her had changed.

Mira wasn’t just a girl a few years younger than me. She was all grown up, blossomed into a beautiful young woman. I couldn’t help but notice how fit and strong she looked. She cleared her throat, making my gaze snap back to her face. I gave her a small smile.

“Let’s step inside,” she said. Her voice was slightly shaky and I knew she was trying her best to sound cool, mature, and professional. That hadn’t changed about her either. She was always a frazzled mess.

I nodded and followed her into the office, not wasting the chance to sneak a peek at her ass. I cocked my eyebrow as I noted that it is firm and high, clearly from whatever exercises she was doing to keep her body in such amazing shape. She looked good. But then I instantly felt shitty and a little incestuous.

She’s my old buddy's kid sister.  I silently remind myself in disdain.

She turned to look at me. I was still smiling, but doubted she would think anything bad of it. I was remembering how pissed she used to get when I’d teasingly call her Randy and then pull at her curls. I admit, I probably teased her a little too much when we were kids. She must have hated me sometimes, but it was all in good fun. My eyes darted up to the top of her head and my smile grew after seeing that mop of curls was still there, wild as ever but perfectly suited for her. I had never seen anybody pull off her type of hair so effortlessly. She was one of a kind.

“I still remember you always tagging along with us Randy,” I joked.

Mira huffed and looked away from me briefly, clearly trying to collect herself. My smile widened even more as she turned to look me straight in the eyes. I was quickly reminded of her intense stare. Her big round amber eyes were just as striking as ever, only now they had a different kind of intensity—one that could only come with the years that had passed.

It wasn’t like I ever minded her trying to hang out with Zak and I. Maybe she even had a crush on me; the thought of that made my grin turn a bit more cocky. She hadn’t broken eye contact with her intense stare so I just shrugged. She finally reached up to push a stray curl off her forehead. I remembered the way I thought of her when we were younger. She was like my surrogate kid sister in a way, but looking at her now, I wasn’t sure if I felt the same way.

It’s been years anyway. I justified my thoughts in my mind. Sure, Zak and I used to tease her until tears filled her eyes, but we were all adults now. And looking at her as an adult, I realized that the once tough kid was now a totally tougher adult. I wondered if she was still ‘one of the guys’ in whatever circle of friends she hung out with. There was no argument, even though she was younger than us, she was a lot of fun. She must be a great friend to whoever she was friends with now.

That was when the question welled up in my throat and I didn’t think to stop it. It wasn’t a question about her, it was a question about Zak. After all, we were best friends and I hadn’t spoken to him since he left the UCLA team.

“How’s your brother?”

Mira seemed miffed at the question. "He's fine. Still annoying," she answered in a tone I couldn’t quite place. Could she maybe feel disappointed for some reason? I figured it was to be expected if I asked about Zak.

“Nah,” I told her in mild disbelief, “Zak was one of the good ones.”

"If you say so," she said curtly.

I watched her rub her hand on the back of her neck, eyes skimming around the office casually. I thought I should change the topic. "How are you? You've certainly grown up."

She turned to look at me again and I could almost hear her say—Well, you didn’t expect me to stay a kid forever, did you? But her mouth was closed. She scratched at her chin, just below her lip, before clearing her throat.

“I’m doing alright,” she answered in an unnaturally breathy voice. I picked up on her non-committal act. If it was anybody else the chances of her being drugged or something would be high. Mira was never that type of girl though. Maybe she was tired or nervous or something. Even as a kid she was always aloof and off in her own world.

“Just alright?”

Mira shrugged as she took a deep breath. She peered over at her desk and then back at me. She cleared her throat and quickly covered her mouth, catching a little cough in it before taking another deep breath.

“Um,” she finally said. “Alright isn’t bad, is it?”

I could tell she wanted to be vague. It was a bit annoying that she wasn’t being more open with me. But I wasn’t down to keep pushing. She said something else, but I wasn’t paying attention. Then I noticed she not only sounded even more breathy than before, but she kept heaving like she was gasping for air.

I wondered what the fuck was wrong with her, but remembered I was about to pay for her services so I dropped it. I ran my hand through my dark brown hair and smirked again, my gaze lowering from her face little by little. She turned slightly to pick something up from the desk so I seized the opportunity to let my gaze drop down even further.

She was just standing there, next to her desk, pretending to be busy with some sort of pamphlet, but I noticed her breathing wasn’t slowing down. I glanced at her breasts. They weren’t big, but they weren’t small either—a nice handful. But what made them really appealing was how perky they were. I was enjoying the rise and fall of them with each breath she took when I heard the shredding of a page.

“Oh no,” she muttered, quickly holding up two pieces of paper and pushing them together as if they would magically piece back together. She frowned and dumped both pieces on the desk before turning to look at me. “Well, there goes that.”

I eyed the torn paper. It looked like some sort of informative pamphlet she had planned on giving me. I wasn’t sure why though. I met her gaze again and shrugged, “So, should I get undressed?”

Mira gasped even louder, exhaling with an unsteady, “sure.”

I almost wanted to chuckle, but I was starting to get tired of whatever little act she was playing. I came with plenty of money to get an A-grade sports massage and she wasn’t doing much to inspire confidence in me that she was going to live up to the reputation Larry had played up for her. She nodded and motioned for me to get on the table. I walked into the little room, ready to finally get started. Just as I was about to tug my T-shirt off over my head, it crossed my mind how odd it felt to get naked for ‘little Randy’.

Then I recalled all the summers I spent in their pool; back then she watched me as avidly as...

I turned to look over my shoulder and saw that she was now avidly avoiding looking at me. I shrugged and took off my shirt followed by my jeans and then climbed onto the massage table, pulling the sheet over my hips to wait for her to come in.

I waited for what felt like a few minutes, but she wasn’t coming in. Getting agitated, I got up and opened the door.

“Ready!”

She still didn’t come in. I didn’t even see her. I stuck my head out from the doorframe and looked around the corner, peering into the main office area. That’s when I saw her. My eyes narrowed as I watched her pace in a circle before plopping down on one of the waiting room chairs and resting her hands on her knees.

She took a couple deep breaths and then got back up again. She went to her desk and snuck what looked like a cookie out from the top drawer and into her mouth. She stood back up, stretched a bit as she smiled a little, took another deep breath and then walked towards the massage room.

I quickly ran back inside and leapt onto the massage table, adjusting the sheet over my hips right in the nick of time.

I strolled into the massage room trying to look all cool and collected, but I was trying not to look at Axel.  For all the deep, calming breaths I had taken I felt no calmer. My racing heart wasn’t stopping and it didn’t feel like it would any time soon. The only thing that managed to keep me somewhat sane was the cookie I had scarfed down at my desk before walking into the massage room. He was completely nude, save for the sheet covering a certain part of him. Thanks to the cookie, I felt totally ready for this now—or as close to ‘totally ready’ as possible.

I started by rubbing massage oil into the palms of my hands. It was my special combination of oils that I perfected over the years. It was soothing, but it also helped with ailments in the long run, perfect for my athletic clients. He was lying on his stomach. I was beyond thankful for that.

I placed my hands on the center of his back and started the massage. His beautifully tanned olive skin was smooth and a delight to run my palms over. He felt even more amazing than my frustrated teenaged self could have imagined back then. I ran my hands up to his shoulder and started working down his arms. That’s when I took note of his tattoos. He had a full-sleeve of ink on his left arm and it took every ounce of self-control I had not to slow the motion of my therapeutic hands to look at the artwork coating his skin.

Looking at the rest of him was even more distracting; his body was incredible. I might have been used to working on athletes, but there was something about Axel’s muscles that made the pit of my stomach stir. I closed my eyes and gulped as I tried to keep calm. This was definitely not the time to let my imagination run wild. I had to stop myself from looking at the raised sheet where his round and firm ass was covered.

I imagined what it must be like to sink my fingers into that flesh. I felt the scarred areas around his shoulder and slid my thumb along the muscle. Finally, I moved over to start the special deep massage for his torn rotator cuff. He let out a groan. I looked at him inadvertently, and saw that his head was resting on the side with his eyes closed and lips parted. That’s when I saw the scar on his cheek. I still remembered the day he got that scar. Now it was nearly obscured by his stubble, but the small crescent shaped white line would always be hair-free. I smiled as I finally started to feel my heart calm down.

I continued my massage, fixing my eyes on the muscles I was working on. Sure I had a crush on him when we were practically kids, even though he was an ass to me more sometimes. But he was my friend after all or at least my brother’s friend. As I kept working, I recalled times when he treated me like a sister, like when he trusted me the day he got the scar. Maybe making such a fuss about seeing him wasn’t the way to go. We had a lot of history together and now I had no idea what his life must be like.

I smiled sweetly as I ran my hands along his body, remembering how I had come to the aid of a panicked Axel and Zak when a broken beer bottle sliced open Axel’s skin to form that scar.

I closed my eyes and shook my head to rid myself of the memories and continued to work. If Axel was going to be my regular client he needed to know he was making the right choice. A lot rested on my ability to help him with his injured shoulder and I definitely had the knowledge and experience to make that happen.

He was silent throughout the whole massage, only letting out an occasional grunt or moan of either pain or satisfaction. I could imagine my kneading hands felt both good and bad, but what ultimately mattered was the results. I took a couple deep breaths and finished up focusing solely on the massage, eyes fixed on the movement of my fingers around his tensed muscles.

When I was done I stood beside the massage table, eagerly waiting for him to compliment me or tell me what a great job I had done. I wanted the confirmation I was good at what I did. I wanted to know he was going to return.

Axel turned to look at me after a couple minutes and I embarrassingly realized he was waiting for privacy to get dressed. With cheeks burning red, I walked out of the massage room and over to my desk. 

"Good to see you, Randy," he said when he was all dressed and ready to go.

I looked up at him and then followed the movement of his hand, which he stuffed into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a crisp wad of bills. He pulled a couple out and laid them down on my desk. I stared at him in shock as he just walked out of my office without saying another word, leaving me with nothing but money and annoyance. I couldn’t believe he still had the nerve to call me that nickname. I had always hated it, even when I was five-years-old.

I felt my face burn again, only this time it was out of anger. “What a total football douche,” I muttered angrily.

He was always cocky and he always had high expectations of others, but it was different when he was with Zak and I. Now he seemed worse—more arrogant and dismissive.

The person I used to know would’ve never pulled what he just did. I looked from the closed door of the office, to the bunched up sheet on top of the massage table, to the crisp bills lying on my desk.

I got even angrier.

I reached out to swipe the money off my desk. He left me a $100 tip. Normally this would shock me and now was the time to feel happy about it. But at that moment all I felt was a burning disappointment coursing through my veins.

I wasn’t running to my car, but I was speed walking to it like I was in a race to get there before someone else. I unlocked the car and slid inside, promptly shutting the door and slamming down the lock. I leaned back against the headrest with my eyes shut. I jutted my chest out and noted the difference in how my shoulder already felt. It hadn’t felt that great in weeks.

“Guess Randy does have magic hands,” I muttered, deep blue eyes now open and peering at my reflection in the rearview mirror.

I sighed and chuckled at my next thought. It had been a struggle not to pop a boner on her table.

“Fuck,” I laughed, running my hand over my face. My scruff scratched at the palm of my hand and I thought it would be nice when the beard comes back in. It wouldn’t be long, considering my facial hair grows faster than a rain forest. I turned the car on and gripped the steering wheel, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of my car. I couldn’t remember the last time I had to concentrate on football, multiplication tables, and random trivia facts just to keep from creating a situation for myself and, well, Randy in this case.

I ran the tip of my tongue over my teeth as I got lost in my thoughts. I thought about just how round and firm her ass looked. I wasn’t about to deny how incredible she looked. Randy sure did grow up well.

For a split second I felt grossly incestuous again, thinking of her in that way didn’t feel right. But the image of her perky breasts pushed that notion quickly out of my mind. Not only were we not actually related, years had passed since we had seen each other. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with appreciating her good looks now. I was a little taken aback by how much I liked seeing her again. It was rare for me to be so interested in a woman, but I figured it must have something to do with our history. She wasn’t a stranger. Plus, it probably wasn’t often people like us reunited like this.

Finally, I pulled out of the parking spot and started my drive back home, mind still full of thoughts about Randy. I laughed again and muttered, “Miranda.” I smirked. I wouldn’t be letting up on her Randy nickname any time soon.

I liked the way her cheeks get rosy and her mouth purses in annoyance every time I call her Randy. I would have liked to talk to her more after the massage, but I knew it was hard enough just to be around her. My tip showed her just how pleased I was though. I knew she had to appreciate such a sizeable amount of money anyway.

I turned on the radio and blasted music the entire drive home. I wanted to have a clear mind and good mood by the time I pulled into the driveway. As soon as I was home and heading up the walkway the front door swung open and Molly came shooting out to greet me.

“Daddy! Daddy!” She shrieked and Janice was running after her to make sure she didn’t fall. I picked up the pace and crouched down to scoop her up, bouncing her just a bit.

“Hey there, kiddo!”

She giggled, “What did you buy me, daddy?”

“Hmmm,” I hummed, pretending to look off in the distance in deep thought. She shrieked again and gripped my shoulder. I felt the tips of her tiny fingers dig right into my injured muscle, but somehow it didn’t bother me the least bit.

“I brought you something,” I corrected her.

She stopped moving and looked into my eyes with anticipation only a young child could have. I didn’t hold back and picked her up, flinging her upward toward the sky. She cried out in glee as Janice walked back inside. I laughed and caught her, noticing just how great my shoulder felt. I sat her down with a pat on the head

I looked at her with a grin, “I think it’s present time.”

She jumped up and down more frantically so I took one of her hands and led her over to the car. I popped the trunk and pulled out a gift bag. I was going to have her wait until we were inside the house before she could yank it away from me. I bundled her under my arm like I was carrying a football and ran to the front door, expecting Janice to be there watching and open the door for me like she always did.

But when I reached the top step the door remained shut in my face even though Janice had been outside with us earlier. I sat Molly down and pushed it open.

“Hello?” I called out

Then I saw Janice sitting primly on the couch with her bag on the coffee table. There was no sign of dinner being ready either. I was confused. Janice got up and ran a flat hand over her skirt to smoothen it out before starting a report on what she and Molly did during the day. I noticed she was speaking very formally, but I was quickly distracted by Molly going absolutely wild.

She was eagerly pulling out the contents from the gift bag and squealing loudly in delight. She tossed up and handful of the dresses for her dolly before running across the room to retrieve her toy. I barely heard anything Janice was saying.

Finally, I teared my eyes off Molly. “How much sugar did you give her?” I demanded, interrupting Janice from whatever she was prattling on about.

Janice nearly scoffed and held her nose up high, “the entire box of fruit snacks.”

“What? Why the hell would you do something so stupid?” I was in complete disbelief. I paid her good money to take care of my daughter. How could she have done something so irresponsible. I paid her well! I was already making a mental note to consider searching for someone else when she shut me down. 

Janice smiled oddly and said, “Because I quit.” There was satisfaction written all over her tone of voice.

I was dumbfounded as I watched her walk out the door. I didn’t go after her though. I was in shock, but when my mind finally caught up to what had just happened, I was beyond pissed. I had invested so much into good childcare and my little girl forged a bond with Janice only for her to walk out like this—and so abruptly.

I automatically thought she was ungrateful and stupid. I didn’t understand how she could just throw everything away like this but, ultimately, it was her loss. For what I was paying her, I was sure I could pick from a roster of very well qualified nannies. Molly was young and friendly enough to bond with a new one anyway. I walked over to the front door and slammed it shut, making Molly jump up in the air before running over to me and hiding behind my leg. I placed my hand on her head reassuringly before picking her up and walking over to let her do a little fashion show with her doll.

I was tired the next morning. More like exhausted, but I needed to head to practice anyway. Having to show up and adhere to the strict schedule even though I just sat on the bench was one of the only things I was bitter about. My optimism of getting back in the game had quickly disappeared over the night; likely because of how little rest I got.

I came to practice like always, but I was a yawning wreck. I could feel the others shooting me curious looks; a couple of them were a little judgmental. I ignored them all. I was the best on the team and they all knew it.  There was no room for them to judge me for a few extra yawns. One of my teammates finally trotted over during a five-minute break.

“Out partying last night, bro?” The large man, with a little more pudge than muscle, asked me as he chugged down a bottle of water.

I glared at him for a moment, “No, I was up with Molly.” 

As soon as the ‘ee’ sound fell from my lips when I said Molly’s name he erupted into jeers and laughter. I crunched the plastic water bottle in my thick fist before slugging him in the shoulder. I managed to catch the attention of a couple other teammates, who bumbled over and stood by watching.

“And who is Molly?” He asked with a wink, but it just made me want to punch him square in the jaw and shut his dumb jock mouth up for good.

“She’s my daughter, dickhead,” I muttered. I stood up and towered over the guy with a pretty menacing look in my eyes. My teammates immediately apologized and gazed down at their shoes.

Dr. Killian came up and the three guys walked off to join the others to leave me alone. I nodded at the Razorsharks’ team doctor knowing he was there to see me. He took a moment to quickly look out and survey the other players before asking me how I was feeling.

“I gotta say I think I’m all healed, Doc.”

Dr. Killian scrunched his eyebrows in a doubtful expression. “You can't be healed after one session, Axel. But if you feel it’s working then you should keep going back to the new therapist.” The doctor reached out and pressed his hand to the affected muscle and nodded. “Look, let’s not get too eager here. If you’ve found a therapist you can actually work with who helps, keep it up.”

I knew the doctor was well aware of my reputation for firing pretty much everyone. That’s probably why he seemed quite keen on me going back Randy. I felt a slight pang of guilt when I thought back to her. I was maybe a bit of an ass to her last time. I couldn’t stay to chat with her, but I left her a generous tip anyway.

She should have nothing to be upset about and was probably looking forward to our next session.

I know I was.

I was spacing out and wasn’t looking at Shellsea, who was hanging out in my office doing yoga. I heard a noise outside the door and it brought me back to reality, just in time to see Shellsea settle into a cat-cow pose.

“Mmm,” she let out blissfully, eyes closed.

“That really helps,” I mumbled under my breath, mostly in poorly veiled sarcasm. I wanted to live the life of ‘moderation’ and find my ‘inner peace’, but all I could think about was that third cup of coffee I denied myself earlier and how great it would feel if I had just downed it. Shellsea would, of course, be affronted if she knew any of this. She’d remind me that indulging in multiple cups of coffee wasn’t the path to happiness. I don’t know, it would probably make me pretty happy.

Shellsea either didn’t pick up on my sarcasm or she completely disregarded it. She just launched into an explanation about one of her favorite poses, “If you just opened your mind and gave it a try, you’d understand the wonders of the gentle flow between these two combined poses. Mira, it warms the body and increases flexibility. It’s like opening yourself to full calm and stress relief. Honestly, you have no idea.” 

I stared at Shellsea for a second, watching the way her blond hair pulled into a ponytail fell perfectly in the concave crevice of her back. I let out a long sigh and leaned my head back to stare up at the ceiling instead. Sure, inner peace sounded amazing and all, but I figured it was hard to actually achieve it when quietly fretting over the rent that was due soon. I didn’t know how much longer I could get away with barely making ends meet. Even with my office way out in the suburbs, it still wasn’t cheap enough to be feasible. I clenched my eyes shut and rubbed my temples as I let out another gust of breath.

“I’ve told you all that sighing is bad for your health,” Shellsea muttered as she stretched her body into another pose.

I ignored her; it wasn’t like I wanted to feel that way.

“You’re just not working hard enough. State of mind is a choice.” Shellsea said as she stretched and balanced on one leg. She had mentioned state of mind being a ‘choice’ before. I started to feel guilt well up in me. Still, the pressing matter of the rent was very real and very serious no matter how I framed it in my mind.

“Times like these make me wonder if I made the right choice,” I said as I looked down at the floor in defeat. “Maybe I should have just sucked it up and gone on a date with ‘Dr. Creeper’. I mean, honestly, what’s the worst that could have happened? At least I’d have rent money in hand now.”

The doctor I was referring to was actually named Dr. Kyle. He was my boss at my last job where I stormed out of the office as I told him how much of a self-righteous pig he was. That’s what led me to opening my new place in the suburbs. I was in a constant state of worry ever since I pulled the trigger and left. I was starting to wonder now if I really made the right decision.

Shellsea took a deep breath and stood in mountain pose. She pressed her hands together and whispered, “Namaste.” Then she turned to look at me, "Working in that toxic environment would have poisoned your soul, Mira.” Her tone was very matter-of-fact.

To me there was only one matter-of-fact thing in my life. And that was the current state of my finances and career. I sighed again and pointedly ignored the look of disapproval Shellsea shot me. She couldn’t seem to understand what it meant to leave a very high-priced, high status physical therapy clinic with benefits and security only to wind up like this.

It wasn’t exactly nice to worry about some fifty-something year old doctor, who happened to be the head of the clinic, propositioning me. But it was great to have the memory of flipping him off as I walked out the door. He had to know he couldn’t get away with pulling that kind of shit. But now I had to worry about making it on my own—not just making the rent and bills, but making it in the field as a private start up with no client base. I had lost every client I had and it was starting to weigh down on me and shake my confidence a bit. None of it was my fault entirely, but I certainly felt like I was the one paying all the consequences.

“You know it’s true,” Shellsea said, finally breaking the silence.

“Yeah, it is, but you know what else is true? That place was doing a bang up job of paying the rent and covering my bills.”

Shellsea looked at me sympathetically, “You'll get new clients, Mira. You’ll get back on your feet. You just need to put that intention out into the world.”

“And that’ll land me a long roster of clients?” I knew there was a bite to my tone of voice, but at that point I was too anxious to care.

Shellsea recoiled a bit, “My, my. That is not the intention you want to put out there, my darling. Rent is important, but how do you expect to solve any problems if you’re just a big ball of nerves?” She placed her hand on her flat stomach and took a deep breath. “Sometimes we just have to give in and wait. And that’s okay. Take me, for example. Jude’s on a kick about cleansing his soul and honoring his body so he’s abstaining from sex for thirty days.” Shellsea paused for another deep breath and then another before going on. “His restraint is admirable, but I'm struggling here. I just have to wait though. He has to do what he has to do.”

My eyebrows shot up as I watched her for a minute. She closed her eyes and took slow deep breaths, hand still flat on her stomach. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I busted into laughter. Shellsea quickly opened her eyes and looked affronted. I covered my face and let out muffled laughter into my hands.

The fact that she was hard up for sex but was trying to deal with it through her healthy lifestyle and good vibes was too funny. Sometimes biology wins over “good vibes” and kombucha tea. 

“Why are you laughing?” Shellsea finally snapped and looked away from me. She looked miffed which wasn’t typical for her. I tried not to laugh, thinking I was witnessing the rare spotting of a wild animal in its natural habitat. “You know the body is sacred.” Shellsea said with a huff.

I wanted to joke about Jude honoring Shellsea’s body since it was so sacred, but I didn’t have it in me. “I'll tell that to my clients... You know, if they ever show up.” 

Shellsea stood up and stretched before going over to my desk. She sat across from me and reached out to grab my wrists. I glanced down, but wasn’t surprised. This was the sort of thing Shellsea did when she was trying to comfort someone. She stared at me until I met her gaze. We looked into each other’s eyes in silence for a couple moments.

I had a feeling this was supposed to ease my nerves, but I just found it awkward even though it wasn’t the first time she had done it. There was something about direct eye contact that made me feel like I was standing naked on a stage with a million people staring at me. Needless to say, it was hard not to tense up even when Shellsea did it.

“Okay,” she said softly. “Let’s breathe deeply. Chant along with me.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line and held back the urge to giggle. This was at least teetering on the line of ridiculous. I knew my best friend only wanted to lessen my ‘anxious energy’. I knew it would do me well to be a less frazzled person. So I took a deep breath in time with Shellsea and allowed myself to be directed, no matter how close I was to laughing.

I repeated the chants after her before we started to say them together. We sat and chanted for a few more minutes before going silent and sitting still. Then Shellsea drew in one last, long breath and let her hands fall away as her eyes fluttered open.

“See? Not only was that relaxing and great for our connection, now the intention is out there. It’s just a matter of waiting for the universe to answer at this point.”

I could already feel my eyes start to roll and just when I was about to make some snide comment about the universe’s long waiting times—

Ring!

I nearly jumped out of my seat as the loud sound filled the office. I stared at the phone, unable to believe it really worked. I took a moment to chastise myself inside my head for being so doubtful. Then I reached forward and grabbed the phone. I pulled it up to my ear and saw Shellsea smiling at me with smug satisfaction.

My eyes went squinty as I shot her a warning expression. She mouthed the words, “I told you so.”

“Miranda Bach,” I answered. Even though there was a hint of pleasant disbelief in my voice, I sounded quite professional. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. I could only hope when the voice came in on the other end that it was bearing good news.

“This is Larry,” an obnoxiously familiar voice barked over the speaker. I gulped. I could only think of one reason he was calling. I struggled to determine if it was a good thing or bad thing. Of course I wanted a client and regular one was the best I could hope for, especially with such a famous name. But did I really want my client to be Axel Montgomery of all people? Still, I knew I was in no position to get choosy, especially over something like that.

“Listen, he wants to book another appointment with you so when are you open?”

“I’m sure I can accommodate his earliest–”

“Accommodation is an absolute must. Axel is the best player in the league and it’s absolutely imperative...”

That was the moment I zoned off from Larry’s impromptu sermon. He continued to drone on, but I did catch something along the lines of him being “glad I knew how to treat an all-star” and he, “isn’t just talking about the therapy.” This left a sour taste in my mouth, but I had to ignore it because I already made up my mind to take the appointment anyway.

I let Larry go on for a couple more minutes, musing on how obvious it was he was the one who would jump through hoops for Axel. He even addressed him as “The Axe,” at one point and I had to bite back a laugh. That was a nickname Axel had carried with him since high school, but I always found it cheesy. When I cleared my throat Larry finally came to his senses so we could proceed with booking the appointment. I scribbled it into my book and said a cordial goodbye. Before he had another chance to ramble on about nothing, I quickly hung up the phone.

Any negative feelings had completely left my body. I was thrilled and excited. My hands were shaking and I was grinning from ear to ear. I turned to look at Shellsea, who looked equally as excited. I scooted back and did a little happy dance in my chair.

Once I stopped waving my hands, Shellsea excused herself to go refill her bottle of water. I stared out the window. I couldn’t figure out why I was so happy. Only moments ago I wasn’t sure if Axel returning was actually good news.

He may be a bit of a jerk, but he was an old friend and I desperately needed the money. But when I closed my eyes I couldn’t get the image of his face out of my head. I told myself it was just residual feelings from my teenage crush on him, but my mind couldn’t stop thinking about the way his crescent shaped scar looked with all his scruff surrounding it.

I wondered what it would feel like to kiss it. I instantly felt heat race through my body. I drew in a rattling breath and gulped, patting down my hot cheeks and ignoring the hotness that was bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I needed to stop these feelings from getting the best of me if Axel was going to be a regular client.

I plopped down on my desk chair and wrote a check to my rental company. I was hoping they would sit on it long enough so it didn’t bounce. Hopefully I could hold out until Axel paid me again.

Paying bills was what I needed to focus on, not drudging up some old childhood feelings about Axel Montgomery.

Mira seemed happier this time. She had no reason to be mad at me for last time. Maybe she just wasn’t all that friendly anymore. It annoyed me to think that, particularly because I paid her so well. But I was still looking forward to my second session with her. If all else failed, I wasn’t looking to reconnect with an old friend. First and foremost, I needed to heal.

I was tired of being benched. I was sick of seeing my teammates fumble plays I knew I could execute flawlessly. So when Mira opened the door to her small office and had a smile on her face, I relaxed into a smile myself. It was a weird and brief moment, but it felt genuine.

I stepped inside and she took a couple steps back, looking me in the eye. I couldn’t be sure, but she seemed slightly timid with her expression. I wondered if we were going to get started anytime soon. “How does it feel to have your dream of being a quarterback in the pro league come true?”

“I don’t know, I’ll let you know when I find out.” I said, half in jest.

Mira arched a brow and looked at me questioningly. “You’re the star quarterback for the Razorsharks, aren’t you? Everyone knows your name.”

“Well, yeah,” I muttered, “But I’ve been benched all season, you know.”

“I do know,” she responded, pointing to my area of injury. “I’m treating the reason, as I’m sure you know.”

There was a bite to her response. I kind of liked the sass, even if it was usually something I found off-putting; especially from someone I was handing money to. Maybe she felt a certain comfort level because of our past.

“What were your passing yards last year?”

I was barely paying attention when she went on to ask me another question about my stats, but I caught the tail end of it. I was taken aback; maybe ‘impressed’ was more of an accurate word. She clearly knew a decent amount about football. Maybe it was because of her profession. Either way, it was odd for such an attractive woman to be asking me about football.

“Just over forty-nine-hundred. I had hopes of shattering it this season, but it doesn’t look like that will be happening.” I said as I reached up to massage my shoulder. I watched her as she stared up at me with gleaming eyes. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking about, but it didn’t seem to be my stats.

“I practically grew up listening to you and Zak talk about every sport under the sun, none nearly as much as football though.”

I chuckled and nodded in acknowledgement. It was obvious to me now why she had pursued a physical therapy career. She was surrounded by sports and athletes growing up.

“Why did Zak quit football, anyway? He was pretty good, that guy.”

Mira grunted, “Zak’s working as an office drone now.” She paused, enjoying the look in my eyes though not as much as she enjoyed watching me try to keep it low-key. “It probably sucks, but he loves having the free time to fuck around on nights and weekends. That shouldn’t surprise you.”

“Yeah,” I laughed, “I remember that all right. So I guess some things never change.”

Mira eyed me for a second, “You’re a pro football player and a famous one at that. Your life has to be fucking around constantly.”

I drew my eyes to the floor. My life hadn’t been ‘fucking around’ in a very long time. My thoughts instantly went to Molly. She had been crying for Janice the night before. I wanted to comfort her, but she wouldn’t take it. She wanted her nanny and I wasn’t it. She was used to Janice, after all. It pained me that little Molly had now lost out on her relationship with Janice, but that only made me even more angry. I cleared my throat and pushed the image of my tear-stricken daughter out of my mind.

“I’m not doing any partying these days,” I told Mira quietly.

A weird silence hung between us for a moment. I found myself wondering if I should tell her that I had a daughter. Molly wasn’t a secret per se, but I was careful about letting people know about her. I knew how my line of work was. I just wanted to protect her.

I looked back up at Mira and her nickname ‘Randy’ came to mind. It made her angry, but even after all these years I still used it. She was an old friend after all so maybe there wouldn’t be any harm in telling her about Molly. Then again, she was an employee. Not only was it a bad idea to blur the lines between professional and personal life, I wasn’t keen on treating someone I was paying as a friend. I cleared my throat and shifted my weight from one foot to the other; things were a bit more complicated with Mira than with other people I had hired.

“Why don’t we get started,” Mira suggested, motioning toward the massage room.

I nodded and headed inside, closing the door behind me to disrobe and climb onto the table. I laid face down and was glad I didn’t have to struggle against the pain as much to drape the sheet over my hips. Even with one session she had managed to work magic on my injury. I found her work promising. I smiled and turned my head to the side, waiting for her to come in.

“Come in!” I said after there was a light knock on the door. She definitely looked less wound up than our first session.

I watched her rub the massage oil into the palms of her hands and closed my eyes the moment she made contact with my back. She rubbed smoothly and easily along my entire back, working me into a state of relaxation. I loved how she worked on everything just enough before focusing on the affected area of my shoulder. It was a whole package kind of treatment that was perfectly measured. However, what I liked most about her method was that I didn’t have to instruct her. She was so good at what she did she was able to figure things out all on her own. She was so in tune with my needs even though it was only our second time working together.

She calmed me further, sinking her thumbs into the knots of tension that flared up in my shoulder after practice. I groaned and exhaled long and slow, eyes still shut. She repeated the movement with alternating pressure and I creaked a little whimper a couple more times, falling into a deep state of relaxation. It wasn’t long before I started jabbering away.

“I’m glad I found you,” I muttered. I felt Mira’s hands pause momentarily.

“Oh? That must mean this treatment shows promise.”

I thought I detected some kind of undertone in her voice, almost like she was nervous, but I blew it off. I nodded and let out a small moan.

“For sure.” It was honest, but non-committal, just how I liked things to be. “The team spent so much money on getting me and I’m not delivering. It’s like they invested in a loss, you know? It makes me feel pressured, but so far you’re the only therapist that’s made me think I might get off the bench a bit sooner.”

Mira’s hands slowed and I almost thought she was leaning in closer to me, as if to speak in my ear, but I didn’t crack my eyes open to check. It was too weird to take a peek. I was afraid it would result in something too intimate for my taste. Either way, it wasn’t something I was down with. I wanted to stay relaxed and get treated.

“Axel,” she finally spoke up, “I hope you know you’re a human being and not a commodity to be traded. You’re not some item on the stock market rapidly losing value.”

I stayed quiet. I felt her words settle over me like a comfortable blanket. It was odd to be talked to with such comfort and understanding. I was used to being around a bunch of alpha male types who didn’t have time for feelings.

I thought about what she had just said long and hard as her hands continued to work on my sore spots. In the sports world, I was viewed as something rapidly losing value. I was easily one of the largest investments for the team, but the payoff wasn’t coming through. This was the first time I actually thought it was different though. I was a person not a trading card.

I groaned again, only this time it was because thinking about this and trying to sort how I felt about it was distracting from the relaxation. I decided to push it out of my mind. I needed to change the subject.

“How are you doing, Randy?”

Mira huffed and I felt her hands tense for a second, “I, Miranda... Well, I honestly wondered if you’d ever get to this point.”

That was what it took for me to finally open my eyes and turn to look at her. She was making it a point to avoid eye contact and stare at her hands working down my arm. I smirked. I could tell she was interested in my tattoos.

“Get to what point?”

She pursed her lips and moved her hands back up to my shoulder before swiping over to the other side. “Oh, you know, just talking about me.”

“You make it sound like I’m a terrible date,” I joked.

Mira forced a chuckle. I adjusted my head to get a better view of her face, but she quickly moved around the table and pressed down on the center of my back. She did an excellent job of keeping my head turned in the opposite direction. No matter what though, the quality of her work wasn’t compromised in the slightest.

“I guess maybe I didn’t expect much talking,” she admitted. Her words stung a little bit and I was surprised they bothered me at all. “Most of my clients back at the clinic were pretty quiet.”

“The clinic?”

“It’s where I used to work. Now I’m starting out on my own and, honestly, it’s scary being a small business owner.”

“But isn’t it, like, most people’s dream to open up their own place?”

“I guess, but it has to be what you want and it should happen at the right time, not because it feels like the best or only option in a crappy situation.” Mira paused and so did her hands. She let out a long sigh and mumbled an apology.

“Don’t be,” I said without thinking. It wasn’t the way I treated anyone who worked for me, but nobody was little Randy. “Crappy situation,” I repeated before asking, “Why did you leave your old job?”

“I didn’t feel comfortable there.”

“But they paid you, right?”

I didn’t get it. It shouldn’t really matter how she felt if she was getting compensated for her work. That was how the world works. My thoughts switched to Janice and I could already start to feel the anger bubbling over. I paid her and I paid her well. So why did she have to go and bring emotion into it? Was that the sort of thing Mira does too? Maybe I just didn’t know the whole story. Maybe I was less willing to judge her as harshly as I judged Janice.

Mira looked at me sideways. “Some things are more important than money, Axel.”

I barely had a moment to decide she was wrong before she sank her thumb into an awful knot. I instantly jumped and yelped in pain. Then, as quickly as the pain came, I felt it dissipate as I thought more about what she had said.

Once I was finished with the massage Axel leaned up. I couldn’t help but glance at his deep muscular back and butt draped in the sheet. I could feel my pulse in my throat as my eyes traveled across his body. My tongue ran along the bottom of my lip. I bit it and shook my head, turning to look at the wall. I couldn’t get caught staring at him, much less staring like someone ready to eat the world’s tastiest food.

He positioned his body to lay on his side, smoothly adjusting the sheet to make sure he stayed covered up. I didn’t miss the knowing little smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, but I thought I did a good job acting totally chill. 

“I want you,” he said. I turned to look at him just as he continued, “To work for me. Exclusively.” I had to suppress a glare. I knew he added that pregnant pause on purpose.

Still, my mind focused on what he was actually telling me. "What?" 

“I'll pay you,” he quickly assured.

I rolled my eyes. He seemed to think money was everything. No wonder he didn’t get why I left my old job. It didn’t matter; he didn’t need to understand. He wasn’t my boyfriend or even a friend. He was just the lavish, arrogant incarnation of the guy I once had a crush on.

He’s my client. I reiterated inside my head.

“Look, you need money and I need your hands. Plain and simple.”

I paused for a moment, “It's not about the money.” I didn’t know why I had just said that. What was it about, then? And what was I supposed to say if he wanted me to explain? My heart started racing. I had Axel Montgomery, who wanted to book out daily appointments for the foreseeable future, with me and I was questioning it! Not to mention I was being annoyingly vague with him.

I leaned back against the door of the massage room. I hemmed and hawed for a couple minutes; I didn’t want to be caught in a bad situation by not having other clients, but at the same time I knew I had to at least consider it. I thought about my rent and the prestige of working on an all-star player. Well, not just any all-star—it was Axel Montgomery, ‘The Axe’. He was the cream of the crop.

I had worked on professional athletes before, but none of them came close to being as famous as Axel. If I took him up on his offer I wouldn’t only have steady work that was well paid, I would have the opportunity to advertise myself as the exclusive therapist to The Axel Montgomery.

I met his gaze and then glanced at his body when he looked away. That sealed the deal.

Fuck it. I stepped forward and reached out to shake his hand. He looked at me with a little smirk. There was obvious satisfaction in his eyes. I remembered that smirk of his. He always gave that look when he got his way. I knew it all too well from our youth. His hand closed around mine and I felt my knees nearly give out. I checked to make sure he didn’t notice and breathed a sigh of relief when it appeared he hadn’t. That relief didn’t last long; he held my hand a little too long and I felt a ball of nerves stir at the pit of my stomach. 

He looked at our hands. He looked up at me. I felt his penetrating stare. It was like we were connected. The moment hung heavy in the air and I didn’t know how to handle it. I was acutely aware of the fact that he was practically naked as he held my hand.

Were it not for the sheet draped over his lap, I would be able to reach out and... I licked my lips.

“I missed you,” I said throatily. I had no idea why I said it, but it was out now and there was nothing I could do about it. I silently cursed myself for being so stupid. That could easily be something he held over my head.

“It's good to see you again,” he said, voice thick and heavy. I felt my knees go weak again and I gripped his hand a bit tighter as if that would save me from collapsing to the ground. Then he swallowed and a glint came to his eyes. He was about to speak and my heart was racing a million miles an hour with anticipation. I was on pins and needles.

“Randy,” he said, smirk reappearing in an instant.

My cheeks went hot with irritation. The moment was ruined, which was probably for the best, but I was far too annoyed to actually care. I turned and left the massage room to give him privacy to get dressed. The session was over and I had no business hanging out in there anyway. I could hear him laughing as I closed the door behind me. I felt my face grow red-hot.

“I need to calm down,” I mumbled to myself. I walked to the corner of my office, where Shellsea left her a yoga mat, and I unrolled it. I had to try calming down somehow so I figured yoga might work; especially with how Shellsea always went on and on about the different poses. I dropped down to the mat and got started. I was bent in downward dog when he came out of the room. My butt was practically waving in his face.

“Nice," he hissed, bordering on a whistle.

I blushed deep red and shot straight up into the air, turning to face him but looking at the blank space of wall next to his head. I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact with his piercing blue gaze. I went to my appointment book and decided to blow past the infuriating moment and make everything about work. It was the only way out of the horrifyingly embarrassing moment. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves as I tried to force out all the bad feelings coursing through my body.

“I’ll see you here tomorrow.” I said in the most professional and well-put-together voice I could muster.

He shook his head and my heart dropped. Did he change his mind? 

“It's a real pain in the ass for me to come all of the way out here. Come meet me at practice tomorrow.” He looked me in the eye and then nodded before turning around and leaving.

I cursed under my breath and lifted my two middle fingers toward the door, totally cancelling out any sort of Zen I might have achieved that day.

He was still an asshole, that much hadn’t changed.

It was early afternoon and practice had just ended. I felt the painful knots in my shoulder. They weren’t as bad now as they were a week ago, thanks to Mira’s magic hands, but they were certainly still there. I had already showered and changed into something casual and easy to throw off as I waited for her to arrive for our appointment. I was happy she agreed to come out to me but, then again, that was the way I felt it should be.

I stood near the team doctor's office waiting for her. Today would take a bit longer to get through just because it wouldn’t only be the massage, but also a meeting prior to it. Dr. Killian needed to sign off on Mira now that I decided to take her on as my exclusive massage therapist. I felt a certain satisfaction at having nabbed her. As I was standing there smiling with smug satisfaction I saw her walking up.

I watched her, completely baffled and amused, as she struggled to carry her massage table across the parking lot. There was sweat dripping from her forehead and I could see some veins popping out in her neck. She was really exerting herself and I was enjoying the unexpected entertainment of it all. 

“You know,” I said when she was finally in earshot, “We have those here.” I teased as a wide smile spread across my face. I could practically see the anger bubbling up inside of her and, sure enough, when she finally got to the door she looked like she wanted to murder me. That only made me want to laugh, but I held it back, at least for now. Mira grunted and slammed the table against the wall before dusting off her hands and swiping the back of her palm across her forehead to get the sweat off. Then she looked down at my hand and grimaced. I bit back another laugh.

“Come on, Dr. Killian’s already inside waiting for us.”

Mira shot me another angry look as I pulled open the office door and motioned for her to walk in first. She walked past me and I caught a faint whiff of her conditioner. I couldn’t make out what the scent was, but it was pleasant. Vanilla and flowers? I cleared my throat and shook my head; her hair wasn’t something I should be noticing, much less thinking about.

“Dr. Killian, this is Ra- I mean, Miranda Bach.” 

“So you’re the therapist who is working wonders on The Axe,” the doctor said with a terse smile. He wasn’t rude or cold, but he was definitely all business. That was something I had grown used to when speaking with him. He nodded at a stack of papers lying on top of his desk and Mira looked down at them. She looked confused, which was something he picked up on because he promptly began explaining to her what the meeting was about and what all the paperwork was for.

“You’ll understand we’ve just got to have a Non-disclosure agreement.” It wasn’t a question. I was watching her for some sort of reaction, which I could tell was starting to bother her. She gave a curt nod and the doctor continued, “You’ll have yourself a very high profile client and the Razorsharks have to be sure any of his information or interesting anecdotes won’t get spread around.

Mira looked at the doctor straight in the eye, “I’m a professional, Dr. Killian. There is no way and no reason I’d betray any confidentiality.” I could tell she was clearly irked by the whole situation.

“Of course there is also this privacy policy we need to review and have you sign.”

“Okay,” she muttered, the disdain more evident in her voice now. “I just want to let you know I always make sure to follow proper procedure...”

I drowned out her voice until I just heard muffled sounds between her and the team doctor. It was all boring talk and really there was no reason for me to even be there. I preferred to keep my mind occupied with other things, like looking at Mira’s facial expressions when she was talking to the doctor. I squinted and watched the look in her eyes. I took note of how fierce her chin was as it jutted forward, particularly when she was standing her ground. I knew most people would be intimidated in her place, but she wasn’t having any of it. Still, she managed to stay professional.

I liked the way her lip curled into a snarl like a lion cub learning to hunt as she leaned forward to point at something on the paper, like she was arguing against it in a court of law. I thought it was a perfect mix of cute and sexy. A little voice inside my head reminded me that she was the once little Randy. The thought of her as my sports massage therapist got kicked to the back of my mind.

I leaned forward so much to see her lips more closely that she actually noticed and took a giant step away from me and shot me a funny look.

I shrugged and grinned, trying to play it cool even though I was caught. I didn’t care. I had never been bashful and was always carefree. I rarely noticed cute or interesting little things about a woman. All of that was different with Mira. There was something about her that made me want to study her every move.

As I continued to watch her a bit more covertly now, I realized very little of it had to do with the fact that she was an old friend. That excuse was wearing thin fast. I gulped and silently told myself to pull it together. There was no reason for me to be acting that way, much less allowing my thoughts to run wild on dangerous territory. But my eyes wondered to her fiery curls running wild on her head. I loved the way they playfully danced and bobbed with every turn of her neck. I cleared my throat, causing both Dr. Killian and Mira to turn and look at me.

“Nothing,” I muttered as I leaned back against the wall. I spaced out again as soon as they continued talking. Before long it seemed like they had agreed on everything. She took a pen off the desk and looked ready to sign. I smirked and snuck a peek at her round, firm ass when she bent over to sign the paperwork still strewn about on the desk. I had to hand it to her—it was a great ass. One of the first things I noticed when I saw her at her little practice was how great her body was.

She wrapped up the meeting with the doctor and the two of us left the office. As we walked back to the massage room near the doctor’s office, she snarled at me. “You could have told me I’d be signing my life away.” 

I shrugged. “The money’s right, right?”

Mira looked angry, but I couldn’t figure out why. As far as I could see, I had just offered her the deal of a lifetime so there was no reason for her to behave like that. If anything, she could come off a bit ungrateful, but I knew better. I knew there was more to her attitude. I just couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Let’s just get started,” she told me, taking a seat outside the room with the massage table.

She looked at me impatiently so I stepped inside and got naked, quickly climbing on the table with the sheet draped over my ass. As soon as she stepped inside and put her oil-slicked hands on my skin she started pummeling my back like she was getting revenge.

“Oh! What the-” I cried between groans of pain and discomfort. I turned to look at her and she let up for a moment. Neither of us said a word and I placed my head back down, expecting her to start working her magic like always.

But I was in for a rude awakening. When she dug into the knots again I yelped in pain.

“Stay still!”

I froze, but not because she told me to, but because I wasn’t sure how to handle it. In all the years I had known Randy, this wasn’t the kind of behavior I thought she was capable of. I knew she had to be really pissed about something, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was. The confusion started to well up inside of me. It quickly turned to anger the moment she pressed and twisted another knot. I was just about to snap and tell her off. She had great and steady income now thanks to me and she had the nerve to do this.

Just as I opened my mouth to talk she interrupted me.

“How the hell is it that your shoulder could get so bad from yesterday to today?” Her voice was demanding, but even then I detected a trace of disappointment in her question.

“It's from throwing my daughter around,” I snarled back. Was I disappointed there were more knots in my back? Sure. Was it frustrating to have good progress halted? Of course it was. Was any of that worth letting up on playing with my daughter and making her happy? Not even a little bit. I made no apologies for it. Mira hit a nerve and I wasn’t afraid to show it.

Then I went stiff, realizing what I had just said. I felt Mira’s hands go still. I could feel the buildup in my body, the tension and defense ready to go. 

“You—you have a daughter?”

Her voice was dry. I knew she was shocked. She probably couldn’t imagine me as a father, much less a good father. I hated the fact that whether or not I was a good father probably crossed her mind. But I really hated the fact that I couldn’t blame her if it had. I liked to pride myself on treating my daughter like a queen, but I had my doubts. I dropped my gaze down to my hands, the very hands that expertly pass footballs to make big money, most of which I was happy to blow on gifts for my little girl. I finally nodded to let Mira know that yes, I had a daughter.

“What’s her name?” Her tone was hushed and her hands still hadn’t continued working.

I lied back down on my stomach and stared at the wall across from me. “Her name is Molly,” I said warmly, a genuine smile curling up the corners of my lips.

“Molly,” Mira repeated quietly as she placed her hands on my back. I closed my eyes as her palms glided over my bare skin, working their magic like always. She relaxed me, taking the time to soothe my muscles before working on my shoulder.

“And the mother?” Mira asked cautiously.

“She’s been out of the picture for years. Drugs. I used to think I was a fool for hooking up with her, but then I would have never had my daughter. A part of me feels terrible about bringing a person into this world that has a mother like her. But all I can do is try and be the best dad I can be.” I drew in a long breath to try and steady my nerves.

“I’m sorry to heart that.”

“It’s okay. She’s three years old, my little Molly.” I paused and my smile grew wider. As soon as I started thinking about her I couldn’t help but laugh. “She’s a spoiled little spitfire and I love her more than anyone or anything in the world.”

It was open and honest and totally emotional; this was definitely crossing all sorts of boundaries I set up with all people, let alone those on my payroll. I could feel Mira’s genuine interest in getting to know more about my baby girl and even about me. There was a definite shift in the vibe between us. It felt like we were in a strange new in-between relationship of grown-ups just getting to know each other and childhood friends. It was comfortable. Mira started to work on my shoulder and I winced. It hurt like hell, but I knew it would feel better as soon as she was done.

“I can tell,” Mira finally broke the silence.

“You can tell what?”

“How much you really love her.”

I nodded, “She fucked up my life.” I felt Mira’s hands freeze again, if only for a brief moment. She continued working, but I could feel she had tensed up. I had to clarify. “She fucked up my life because now that she’s in it, I know how fucked I'd be without her.”

It was one of the most honest, even vulnerable, things I had ever said to another person. Mira’s hands stopped moving so I opened my eyes and turned to look at her. When I did, I saw her staring down at me. Her eyes were glinting with tears.

The second my eyes met hers she quickly looked away.

I sat up. I was sure I saw tears and she was trying to hide them.  That was the last thing I was expecting. Not five minutes ago she was taking her anger out on my back and now she was crying. Sure, bringing up Molly had definitely eased things, but this was a drastic shift in mood.

“Why are you crying?”

Mira turned away but I could see her ear was red and her cheek was glistening slightly from the tears.

“I’m not,” she mumbled.

I gave her a doubtful look, “That’s bullshit.” I paused for second and waited for her to say something, maybe even look at me, but had no such luck. “I know what you look like when you’re trying to hold back tears. I’ve seen it a thousand times.”

Mira shot me a look. I could tell she was trying to work out what I had just said and call on memories that were probably buried pretty deep.

“It's not like I haven't been responsible for making your eyes well up more than once,” I told her. I had tormented her in her youth so much I’d recognize that face like the back of my hand. I was a bit ashamed of that fact. There was no doubt about it—I was too harsh on her growing up. I knew I did it all as fun and games, but it was inconsiderate; she never particularly cared for my way of joking around.

Mira was now looking at me in shocked surprise. She probably couldn’t believe that I remembered treating her so badly in the past. I think what got her the most was that she couldn’t believe I noticed she was about to cry. The two of us stayed silent for a minute or two. We didn’t stop looking at each other. I saw another tear drop from at the corner of her eye, but the emotion running across her face was different now.

“I—I don’t know,” she said softly.

I turned to my side and looked at her. I knew she wasn’t telling me whatever was on her mind; maybe she was embarrassed to be honest with me. Maybe she thought we needed to keep things strictly professional. But looking at her big, amber eyes and her wild curls made me think maybe I didn’t want to keep things so strict. It was so unlike me, but Mira brought out a different side of me. It was a side of me that even I wasn’t familiar with.

"Come on, you can tell me.”

“That was just really sweet, what you told me about your daughter. I bet you're a great dad, Axel.”

I felt my chest swell with pride, gratitude, and something else. It was something I hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever. I scooted to the edge of the table to be closer to her. She looked at me uneasily, but didn’t back away. I stared into her eyes. There was a charge between us. This was more than physical attraction; this was a connection. My concern about being a good father faded away. If someone like Mira thought that based only off of how I talked about Molly, there must be a kernel of truth to it.

I leaned forward slowly, not breaking eye contact even to blink, and watched her reaction carefully. I could almost hear her heart pounding rapidly inside her chest, but she didn’t step away from me. Her gaze timidly flicked between me and the ground.

I took my chance and leaned in all the way, pressing my lips gently to hers. She froze for a second, but little by little she pressed into me. I held onto her arm and kissed her fully, feeling the tension in her body dissipate with every second that passed.

I knew in my head that kissing her should feel wrong, but it didn’t.

It felt long overdue.

I felt like my mind was short-circuiting. Axel Montgomery was really kissing me.

My heart was racing and the pulse inside my ear sounded like fireworks. My eyes were closed and I could almost see explosions in the darkness every time his lips moved with mine. It was exactly like my fantasies so many years ago. It felt like my whole life had led me to this point—the countless hours of watching his shirtless figure play football in the back yard, leaving my old job and starting my own practice, the sheer luck of landing him as a client. It felt like destiny landing over me in the form of his kisses.

I doubted my love-struck teenaged self could have even imagined a moment like this one. I breathed in, taking in the scent of his body and the massage oil. My body trembled and I felt my cheeks grow hot. I quickly held onto his arms to avoid falling; the oil on his skin made him slick to the touch and I melted even further into his kiss. He ran his tongue along my lower lip. I opened my mouth, enjoying the way his tongue slipped sensually over mine.

His hands roamed down and I inhaled deep, tasting his kisses, and leaning into him more for support than anything else. A million thoughts and memories sped through my mind faster than a bullet train. I ran my hands up his muscular arms to rest them on his broad shoulders. I reveled in the scratch of his beard against my soft skin as he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arm around my lower back and pulling me closer.

We finally pulled back from to take in air, but I felt it catch in my throat when he looked into my eyes, his deep blue gaze was gorgeous and penetrating as ever. I ran my hand slowly up his neck until I was running my fingers through his beard. I leaned in to kiss him again.

I couldn’t get enough of him. It was a literal dream come true and I didn’t want to wake up from the dream, not even a second sooner than I absolutely had to. His hands landed on my hips and he pulled me closer until my legs bumped against the edge of the massage table. I looked at his chiseled features with want before his lips landed against me with force. His hand slipped under my shirt and trailed up my back until he was fumbling with the clasp of my bra.

My breath stuttered. The surrealism of the situation washed over me with his hands. I felt like I was floating on clouds. As soon as my bra popped open, he broke the kiss to look at me with a mix of affection and unmistakable desire. I felt knots coil hot down in the pit of my stomach. It was all sudden and unexpected but so, so very welcome. I had never felt anything like this before.

He kissed me hard and passionately, fingers toying with the straps of my bra. It was sensual and slow. He wasn’t rushing to have his way with me bent over the massage table, the way most people probably imagined he would do things. Hell, I would have assumed he would be just as aggressive sexually as he was on the field, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the kisses and his hands exploring every inch of my skin, slowly but surely.

He ran his hands back down and swiped his thumbs over my lower abdomen before grasping the hem of my shirt and pulling it up. Even then he didn’t stop kissing me; even when he pushed the shirt over my breasts his lips stayed firmly locked onto mine.

He placed his hands flat on my bare back and pulled me closer until my breasts, just barely covered with my loosened bra, were pressed up against his chest. I went still as he pulled back a mere centimeter, his hot breath heavy on my lips. He looked at me with a tiny smile playing at the corner of his lips. I knew he was searching my eyes to make sure I was okay with everything so I reassured him by making a little ‘mmm’ sound and pressing my lips to the corner of his mouth. He turned his head and kissed my cheek, my chin, and then the little dip between my collarbones before pulling back enough to finally yank the shirt off my body. A light shiver raced up my back from the sudden nakedness.

He swiped his tongue along the line of my cleavage sending another shiver down my spine. Then he pulled off my bra and let it drop to the floor where my shirt was in a heap. I could feel my cheeks burning a bright red and my chest felt almost uncomfortably warm and flushed. Every nerve in my body was buzzing and electric as I stood in front of him naked and exposed. He leaned in and pressed his lips to one of my collarbones before licking and kissing straight down, stopping just before he reached my budding nipple. He glanced up at me with a devilish grin. I sighed, letting my head drop back when his warm mouth closed around the tip of my breast. I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes, enjoying the way his tongue felt swirling around my peaked nub.

“Axel,” I mouthed silently.

His beard brushed over my skin as he moved to my other nipple. I felt his fingers roll over my other breast and I gasped, this time a little louder than before. It was baffling how he managed to make even these simple actions feel so great, but I reveled in it. Every flick of his tongue made me tremble. Every brush of his hand made my skin scatter with goosebumps. Every thought was out the window; my brain only had the ability to focus on pleasure and desire.

He left a trail of soft kisses on my chest and neck until he was kissing my lips again, hands slipping slowly under the waistband of my pants. He cupped my firm ass and gave it a squeeze. I could feel him smiling against my lips as I leaned into him for support. 

“Been wanting to do that for some time, huh?” I giggled and he nodded.

“Since the first day I showed up to your office,” he confessed, unabashed.

He gave my ass another firm squeeze and latched his lips onto the side of my neck, suckling gently. A gasp escaped my lips when he scooted forward and his hardness pressed against me. He paused, but soon enough he was kissing me passionately again, his hands pushing me forward so his hardness rubbed against me to create very enjoyable friction. I let out a breath moan against his mouth.

Then it hit me—he was completely naked under that thin sheet draped over his lap. I broke the kiss and looked at him, wide-eyed and breathless.

“What?”

My gaze lowered to the sheet and then back up to meet his. There was already a knowing smile spreading across his face and I bit my lower lip, gulping audibly. I looked at his body in awe. His olive skin glistened with the oil under the lights of the massage room. Every rippling muscle was defined and mouth-watering.

I pressed my hands against his bare chest. My body felt like it was on fire. I leaned in and pressed my lips to one of his wonderfully firm muscles. The feel of his hot, oil-slicked skin against my mouth was almost more than I could take; the room felt like it was spinning and I had to hold onto his bulging arms to keep from falling. I drew my head back and turned to look at his left arm, covered in tattoos. I held his hand and extended his arm out and took the time to admire the details of the artwork on his skin.

Then I pressed his hand to my chest as I leaned over even more, one hand running slowly from his knee up his thigh. I felt him jerk and tremble. I smiled against his kisses. It was satisfying to make the famed Axel Montgomery tremble with anticipation.

I stopped just short of the sheet, which was still draped over him only now there was a large and noticeable tent pitched. I moved forward and let my hands roam over his bare back and torso. I kneaded his back and he groaned in pleasure, pushing his face into the crook of my neck.

I heard him breath in my scent before his tongue darted out to wet my skin. I marveled at how captivating and irresistible he was; it may not be the first time I saw his fit body or felt his smooth skin, but it was the first time I enjoyed him in this way. He kissed along my jawline and over my lips before seizing me with a fervent press of his lips. The taste of his mouth was intoxicating. He pulled his hands out from the back of my pants and trailed his fingers along my waistband before unbuttoning and unzipping them.

I shuddered and my heart started to beat even faster. This was really happening.

My entire body went stiff as he pushed my pants down. I shimmied out of them, kicking them off to the side once they were down at my ankles. Axel pulled me closer and shifted his position until his erection brushed between my legs, the friction of him rubbing against the crotch of my wet panties made me suck in a gasp of air. I knew he could feel how wet I was against him.

“Guess you’re all ready to go,” he muttered against my kisses.

He smirked as he slipped his hand under the edge of my panties, slowly walking his fingers down until I felt them graze over my wetness. He pressed the palm of his hand firmly against me and I moaned, gripping his shoulder tightly. He moved his hand down just enough so that he could easily run the tip of his finger slowly over my lips, from bottom right up just before he reached my clit.

I let out a shaky breath and felt my eyes glaze over. He licked and kissed up my neck and toward my ear, the palm of his hand pressing against my mound as his fingertips lightly tickle me.

“But it’s always important to warm up,” he said with a little chuckle, as if he was talking about football practice.

When he pushed his fingertip in past my entrance, just a bit, I gripped his shoulder so tight my fingernails dug into his skin. I giggled before biting my lower lip, moving my hips forward to feel more of his penetrating touch. He pushed his finger in a little more and twisted until he was hooking it upward, pressing against me from the inside. I whimpered and whined when I felt his hand move away.

I looked at him in disappointment. He just sniggered as he pulled the sheet off his lap. I instantly looked down. He was rock hard and easily the longest, thickest I had ever seen. I gulped; almost nervously. Without a word, I reached and grabbed hold of him. I felt a quiver run through me the moment my fingers wrapped around his girth. I desperately needed to know what he’d feel like inside of me. 

“Oh, Axel,” I whispered excitedly, eyes lighting up.

I started stroking him slowly, hand holding him loosely. He let out a low groan. It sounded similar to the sounds he gave on the massage table. I loved those sounds. But this time there was so much more need behind his groans. I didn’t think I could wait any longer.

“I think we’re both warmed up enough,” I said with an eager smile.

Axel looked deep into my big, amber eyes and brought his hand up to loop my curls around his finger. He cupped my chin and pulled me into a kiss that was surprisingly tender. I melted right into it, lost in his scent, taste, and the feeling of his oil slick skin rubbing against mine. He pushed me back suddenly, not roughly, but just so that we were slightly apart.

I looked at him in confusion, but as soon as he started to tug at my panties I knew what he wanted. I took it upon myself to pull them down and kick them away, not wasting a second after to pull him back into a kiss. We both moaned when his bare hardness rubbed against me as it slid between my legs. He smiled against my lips as he snaked his hand around to squeeze my firm ass again.

He moved his hand down to the bottom of my ass cheek and slid between my legs from behind, rubbing my slit with the tips of his fingers. I moaned and pushed my hips forward, feeling his erection rub against me. We stopped kissing for a brief moment and we meet each other’s gaze, both intense with lust. It all still felt like a dream as I looked at him panting and hard. He kissed me again and pulled me toward him. He wanted me to climb up and straddle his lap. I happily obliged, gasping sharply into his mouth when the tip of him pushed against my wet opening.

“Fuck,” he groaned, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“Axel...” I trailed off and moved my hips around so the tip of him was rubbing all over me, coating him with my wetness. I whimpered with desperate want and need. “Yes,” I breathed hot and heavy against his lips.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded and then ground my hips down, moaning loudly as I felt his entire length plunge into me. My mouth fell open and my eyes clenched shut the moment I felt my body envelope around him. 

“Fuck!”

We both cried out at the same time and leaned in to kiss. The kiss was messy and desperate as I slowly move up and down on him, our moans mixing in each other’s mouths. He grabbed onto my waist with one hand and placed his other flat on the center of my back before turning me over until I was lying on the massage table. I loved the feeling of his body pinning me to the table. He ran his hand over my thigh before wrapping my leg around his body as he positioned himself to enter me again. 

“You’re sure,” he muttered, the tip of his shaft grazing against my soaking wet slit.

“Yes,” I practically screamed.

A smug smile spread across his face at my very obvious desperation, but I could see the same thing in his deep blue eyes and the lines of his gorgeous, chiseled face. I felt his head push inside me and he captured my moan with his mouth, initiating another sloppy kiss as he slowly drove the rest of his length inside.

I arched my back and bit down on his lip. He grabbed onto my hips with a grunt and started rocking back and forth, his hardness thrusting in and out of me at a steady pace. The otherwise quiet room filled with the rhythmic slapping of our bodies. I threw my head back and stared at the ceiling as he pushed into me again, making my breasts bounce with each push of his hips. His thrusting got a bit faster as he took one of my nipples into his mouth.

“Axel,” I gasped as I felt him nibble and lick at my breast. 

After all the buildup and excitement, with all the feelings of my teenage years bubbling to the surface with more intensity than ever, feeling him touch me and penetrate me was enough to make me tremble and shake. He slowed his pace and looked into my eyes, his hand resting on my forehead as he pushed a mop of curls away.

Our sweat had mixed with the oil and we were both slick as ever, the heat between us was nearly unbearable. I looked into his deep blue eyes and felt myself melt. I skimmed my hand up his arm and over all his tattoos. I could feel every line and ripple of his muscles. I cried out when he suddenly plunged himself inside of me after going slow. I felt my body lunge and my back arch high, breasts pressing into his muscular chest.

I started rolling my hips to match his rhythm, but had trouble keeping up. His thrusts got faster and deeper each time until he was pounding into me. The table squeaked underneath us in rhythm of our slapping skin. He was getting carried away by the moment and I loved it. I loved the weight of him on top of me, the way he filled me, how he managed to get so deep inside me.

We were both fueled entirely by our desire to have each other, to connect in this new way that neither of us had ever imagined. In all my years of teenaged fantasy, my most lurid and dirty thoughts were nothing compared to this. 

He slowed, pulled out, and rubbed his head up and down my slit, making me moan into his ear. He reached between us and grabbed a hold of his shaft to keep rubbing his head on my sensitive spot, making me wither underneath him with an endless stream of whimpers falling from my lips. I opened my eyes to see him studying my face. He loved watching me experience such immense pleasure; I saw his gaze linger on my lips for a moment as I let out another panty whimper. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.

I felt my heart skip a beat; for so many years my ultimate dream was to hear those words come from him. Now here we were, together in the most intimate way imaginable, and he was actually saying them. I breathed out hot air as he kissed me again. It was the most tender, meaningful kiss yet. I was lost in a dream world, but that had no bearing on how much my body wanted and needed to be satisfied. I knew it was the same for him when his hands roamed and clawed over my naked body.

He ran a hand over my leg and I wrapped it tightly around him, drawing him slowly back inside of me. He placed his other hand under my back, pushing my body up so he could ease in deeper. His thrusting went faster, but this time he grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap as he rested back on the balls of his feet, positioning my body so that when he pushed inside it was at an angle. He hit a sensitive spot and I cried out sharply.

“Oh! Fuck! Axel!”

He pushed into me hard and fast, hitting the same spot over and over, until I was shaking and whimpering and trembling. My breath stilled and gasped and the sweat glistened over my body. My muscles were tensing and my hips instinctively rolled and rocked against him. I tensed up and felt the orgasm spread over every inch of my skin and inside every part of my body.

As soon as the wave of tingles finally started to subside I fell limp. He pulled out of me, rolling onto his back and pulling me over so that I was lying on top of him. I rested on top of him, nudging my face into the crook of his neck. I laid there for a minute to regain strength, but I was soon ready to go; feeling his hardness press into my leg was all the incentive I needed. I kissed his neck as I reached down and wrapped my hand around him, slowly stroking him up and down. 

“Mira,” he whispered before brushing his lips against mine.

I sat up, straddled his thighs, and started stroking him feverishly. His eyes raked over my body. I loved the way his tongue ran across his lips as he watched me. I ran a thumb over his swollen head and scooted down from his lap, adjusting my body so that I could lean forward and run the tip of my tongue straight from the base of his shaft right up to the ridge.

Axel let out a barreling groan so deep and rumbling I could feel it against my tongue. He struggled to breathe out my name, but I heard it anyway and I looked up at him just in time to see the pleasure in his stunning deep blue eyes. A sheen of sweat coated his chiseled features and his full kissable lips were absolutely gorgeous, the beard on his face was as sexy and manly as ever. He was even more irresistible now than in our youth, something I wouldn’t have thought possible if I hadn’t seen him with my own eyes.

He was sexy and stunning back then, but now he was all testosterone and man.

I licked my lips hungrily before wrapping them around his head and slowly taking his entire length in my mouth. He groaned loud and his hand grabbed a lock of my hair tightly. I didn’t mind it as I started to bob my head up and down, sucking and tasting him with eagerness. I could still taste myself on him and it made my heart race even more.

I moved faster, placing my tongue flat on his shaft as I moved before letting him slip out of my mouth. I licked along his length before flicking the delicate underside of his ridge with the tip of my tongue. I ran my tongue in circles on his engorged head before swallowing him again, this time sucking harder until he let out a guttural groan and his hips rolled upward.

“I’m – about –to – come,” he warned in broken heavy breaths.

I nodded with him still in my mouth and rolled my tongue in playful circles around his tip while I worked the other half with my hand. I moaned and sent vibrations down his hardness as I kept working him with my lips and jerking fist. He clutched at the sides of my head and with one more thrust his orgasm spilled into my mouth. I drew in a deep breath through my nose as he pulsed against my tongue with a grunt.

I giggled at the way his body jerked and trembled. Then I let him pull out of my mouth before I stood up to lay on top of him. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his check. It took less than two minutes for the realization of what had just happened to fully hit me. As soon as it did, I jumped off of him and staggered, grabbing hold of the edge of the massage table to keep from falling. He sat up and looked at me in confusion, but I just scurried to pick up my clothes.

“I- I just... Look, we... I j-just can’t...” I stammered like a mad-woman, but then trailed off and bolted into the bathroom. Now more than ever I was thankful that there was a small bathroom connected to the massage room. I walked over to the sink and splashed water on my face. I stared at my face in the mirror, but promptly clamped them shut as I tried to do some deep breathing exercises in an attempt to calm down the anxiety flooding over me.

How could I have been so stupid? I had just let a childhood crush get the best of me, and it led to professional misconduct. I could lose my license. I just did the very thing that made me want to leave my last job in the first place?

I smacked my wet cheeks and winced. Nothing was helping ebb the anxiety overtaking me. I knew it wasn’t only risky, it was something I had always disapproved of. I was supposed to be the woman who took a moral stand and left her old job in a blaze of glory. Now I was having sex with a client!  And it wasn’t just any client—he was ‘The Axe.’

Letting him fuck me on the massage table was NOT part of my job description, let alone anything that would help his torn rotator cuff heal.

“Shit,” I muttered, looking at my reflection with disgust and disapproval.

I leaned back against the cold tile of the bathroom wall and yelped from the shock of it against my warm skin. Then I remembered I was still naked. I dried my face and quickly got dressed before finally coming out of the bathroom.

Axel was standing there already dressed in his uniform. He looked devastatingly hot. I gulped and quickly looked away from him, hating that I couldn’t ignore the coiling heat brewing at the pit of my stomach.

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head but I had to tell him what was on my mind. “You’re crazy,” I said, still not meeting his gaze. “Do you know I could lose everything if we’re caught?”

Axel nodded. I made my point. I sighed in relief. Then he said, “So tomorrow’s appointment.”

I nodded. I was too distracted to think of the next appointment, “I'll meet you here.” I thought maybe I could convince him to keep the door open because I didn’t know if I could trust myself to stay professional, at least not so soon after our little escapade.

“I don't have practice tomorrow,” he informed me. I looked up at him and scrunched my brows. “Come to my house. I’ll text you the address.”

I nearly gawked at him. I was dumbfounded. Did he not get what I was saying? Did he not understand that we couldn’t do that again? I got a sinking feeling as the thought crossed my mind—he won’t have any trouble restraining himself if he was alone with me.

Even though the door was closed, he looked left and right before leaning down and kissing my cheek.

“See you tomorrow,” he whispered with a smirk. “Oh, and uh, you’re magic.” He looked at me with his devilish grin before turning and walking out of the room.

I just stood there with a gut full of butterflies and a mind racing with confused thoughts.

What the hell did I just get myself into?

It was the next day and I couldn’t believe how quickly the time had arrived. I didn’t know where the past twenty-four hours had gone. Mira was about to arrive any moment, the house was a disaster, and there was nobody there to help me clean it up before she called over the gate’s intercom.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a groan of frustration. Molly's toys were everywhere. All the little gifts I had bought her, some clothes, even random objects around the house she decided were hers were strewn about. I walked over to stand in front of the mirror in the foyer.

“At least there isn’t anything gross like leftovers lying around.” I muttered to myself. It was a small comfort.

I checked my reflection in the mirror to make sure I looked better than the inside of my house did.

“What the hell am I doing,” I mouthed.

I wondered if I was going crazy because I didn’t see why I gave a shit what I looked like. Mira was coming over as my massage therapist, nothing else. She was on her way over because I was paying her for a service. It wasn’t a social call so it shouldn’t have mattered what I looked like.

“For the massage,” I said out loud to my reflection. Then I really thought I was going crazy as I talked to myself. I was taking the necessary precautions to make sure no lines were crossed, or even blurred. This time around I was going to be different.

I turned and leaned back against the wall, my mind wandering back to the day before. I had gotten naked for the massage, but things took a surprising turn.

“Not again,” I said to myself.

Mira made it clear that it was a one-time thing. I had to stick to that as well. She worked for me and that was it. But I couldn’t help thinking about the way she melted against me. Then a heavy realization slammed into me—she really did have a crush on me all those years, back when Zak was my best friend.

I remember Zak’s friendly smile and I absent mindedly reached up to tug at my beard. Zak had a beard even back at our young age. It was strange, really, how I hadn’t spoken to him in years. Now I had somehow ended up banging my ex-best-friend’s little sister.

I knew I should have felt guilty about it, but it was hard to feel that way when I knew how much she had enjoyed it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it myself. There was something different about her. She made me feel things I had never felt before. She really was magic. I hated to think of it as a ‘one-time thing’. I took a deep breath and thought about her bare skin on mine. Just as I started to think about her cute smile and the way her eyes clenched shut during sex, the intercom buzzed.

“Shit.”

As soon as that word dropped from my lips a huge smile spread across my face. I pressed the buzzer to let her in and waited, hand flat against the back of the door. Then I heard a wild shriek and for a split second my heart leapt into my throat.

That only lasted until I saw Molly tear past the downstairs bathroom in a streak of beige. My mind clicked and I let out a mixture of a gasp and a chuckle.

“Wait Molls, are you naked?” I laughed, but at the same time I was frantically thinking I needed to get her covered up quick.

My daughter's bare butt was a blur as she zoomed past me and out the front door. She went screeching outside like a bat out of hell. I didn’t even get a chance to stop her, much less slam the door shut before she got out. I ran after her as she made her way down the lawn. Even in her excited state she was smart enough to keep off the driveway, which I was glad for when I saw Mira’s car stopped short in the middle of it. Molly was laughing like a lunatic, pointing at the car before running in a small circle and letting out a million giggles.

“Molly! Stop!” I shouted. I had stopped running after her, but before I got set and going again, I saw Mira hop out of her car.

Without hesitating, she scooped up my nudist little girl and turned her head shyly in the other direction as she jogged over to hand her to me. Mira was laughing a bit, but her cheeks were bright red. Molly, meanwhile, was flailing her little arms and giggling like a maniac.

“So this must be Molly,” she deadpanned.

I held Molly tight against my chest and laughed. I nodded and turned to carry her inside after telling Mira where she could park. As ridiculous as the whole scene was, I had to hand it to my baby girl—she took a lot of stress out of my anxious anticipation. There was no time to worry about how to greet each other when we were both focused on my hyped up daughter. Mira walked in shortly after while I was busy holding Molly’s hand and straightening out one of her shirts.

“My nanny quit a few days ago and I haven't found anyone to take care of her yet. When I’m at practice or away I have to leave her at the daycare. She's naked and living solely on chicken nuggets so we're basically in survival mode over here.” I dropped the shirt to the floor and picked it up quickly before Molly grabbed a hold of it and flung it across the room. Then I looked up at Mira and saw her rosy red cheeks. Her mouth was pressed in a thin line and I just knew she was holding back laughter.

“What?”

Mira finally busted out laughing. I glared at her, but had to quickly look away to calm Molly, who had started jumping up and down while trying to peel my hand off her wrist. She finally settled down and tugged at the shirt in my hand.

“I'm sorry,” Mira said with a wide grin. She watched as I coaxed a t-shirt over Molly's thrashing head even though she agreed to wear it just ten seconds ago. I heaved a sigh once the shirt was on and then looked at Mira, who was still grinning from ear to ear. I could see it in her eyes—she loved watching me struggle.

“I kind of love this.”

I rolled my eyes but grinned anyway, “Make yourself useful and throw me that skirt.”

Mira scoffed teasingly before crouching down and daintily grabbing the discarded skirt. It was cute and fluffy and Molly loved wearing it; most of the time that is.

Mira stifled a giggle as she walked over to hand me the skirt. I grabbed it as Molly started protesting with the kicking of her feet. Mira laughed, but she dropped down beside me and the two of us worked in perfect unison to get Molly dressed. She was thrashing about and complaining, but she finally stilled enough for us to finish dressing her. She even let Mira straighten up the t-shirt before I let go of her.

Molly instantly ran off. I turned to Mira and, for a moment, everything else around us shut down. Our gaze met and we shared a look that lasted a little longer than usual. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. I felt my mind getting cloudy; I was trying to clear it up but instead I took a step forward. Mira wasn’t backing away, but I could see it in her eyes—she was just as confused as I was. I stopped and just then we were interrupted by the sound of the buzzer. Mira shot me a look. She didn’t know the set-up I had made to be sure we stayed within our professional boundaries.

“Uh, that's my manager,” I said.

Mira tilted her head and squinted, clearly confused. “Your manager is here?”

“He's here to, um, babysit,” I explained. Realization dawned on Mira and she quickly looked away, the tips of her cheeks turning pink. I didn’t have to worry about opening the door for Larry since he had the key code to the gate.

“I should go get my massage table,” Mira mumbled. She started to walk toward the door, but then paused and turned around, “Or do you have one of those here too?” She looked over her shoulder at me and I could see a trace anger in her face from the day I let her drag the table across the parking lot. I laughed guiltily and shook my head so she walked out to her car to get it.

Something clicked in my mind. I took a couple giant steps to catch up to her, “Let me go get it.”

Mira held her hand out to stop me and shook her head. She was firm and I didn’t want to push it because I could tell she wasn’t in the mood. She walked out just as Larry was getting out of his car. He was too busy fussing with his gold chains and using the tinted windows of his obnoxiously flashy car as a mirror, to notice her. Mira was heading back up to the house with the massage table just as Larry was peering at his noticeable hair plugs using one of the side mirrors of his car. He cleared his throat loudly, straightened up, and walked right up to me. 

“Uncle Larry!” Molly ran up to him, shouting, before anybody else had a chance to say a word. Molly started loudly jabbering something that didn’t make much sense, but it ended with her wrapping her hand around two of his fingers and dragging him off to her playroom.

Mira walked in the house to see the slightly sweaty, reluctantly balding man sitting in a tiny pink chair. He looked awkward, but Molly was delighted to be hosting him at a tea party. He at least had the good sense to humor the little girl, his pinky raised with a miniscule flowery teacup in hand.

Mira had to stifle another laugh as she walked back to where I was standing. I was watching her, but she didn’t think much of it because her interest was with Molly.

“I have to say, Axel, this was definitely not what I was expecting on my drive over here.” She giggled silently behind her curled fist, glancing over to the playroom for a moment.

“You were expecting a full-blown NFL player party package?”

Mira shrugged, “Well yeah, pretty much.” She tapped her finger on her lips and looked around. I felt embarrassed. She was probably noticing just how messy the place was. “Can you really blame me?”

“Huh?”

“Can you blame me? You’re ‘The Axe’, you know? You’re a pro football player with a lot of money and even more fame. I guess it’s bad to judge, huh?” She crossed her arms and turned to look at me. I couldn’t figure out the expression she was making, but there was something like warmth and understanding in it.

“Guess not,” I conceded. I was sure a few years ago I would have lived up to the superstar image. Molly changed everything, but there was no way I would give that up for the world. I smiled and my gaze traveled to the playroom. Even if Larry was annoying and tried too hard to act like a high-roller-cool-guy, only coming off as a middle-aged wannabe, he treated Molly well and she enjoyed his company. He was a walking and talking cliché with his razzle-dazzle chains and his balding head, but he had a good heart.

Molly didn’t care about the man’s hair plugs or what his silly gold chains said about him; all she cared about was that he was nice to her.

“I used to be into the superstar lifestyle until my ex burned me,” I said with a rueful smile. My eyes flicked to the ground. It wasn’t the first time I had been open with Mira, but it was probably most vulnerable; anything relating to Molly was.  “Yeah, her mom. She doesn't know her as mom or, well, she actually doesn't know her at all.” I grimaced, “I intend to keep it that way.”

“It’s tough to trust the wrong people,” Mira said with a soft voice. I looked at her and she could see the question marks in my eyes. “I trusted the lead doctor back at my old work place. I really did,” she said.

“Listen, sorry about last time when you mentioned that situation.”

“Yeah, well,” Mira said woefully, “It is what it is, right? I trusted him; looked up to him, even. But little did I know the more I trusted him the more dangerous it was. He took advantage of that bond I had forged with him and he pushed me. He pushed a little each day until he took things too far. His propositions started off benign, just asking for coffee in the break room. Eventually it was clear what he was really after and he wasn’t letting up. I finally broke, told him off, and got the hell out of there.”

“Sounds like you did the right thing,” I told her. She nodded. “I know it’s tough getting out there on your own, but you’re really great at what you do. Plus, it can’t hurt to have a name like ‘The Axe’ on your list.” I grinned smugly, but it was obvious I was at least half-joking. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m making the right choice but when I look at her I know I’ll do anything to make sure she’s happy and healthy and safe.”

Mira reached out to place her hand on my forearm. I turned to look at her, the warmth of her fingertips flooding through my veins at once.

“I know,” she said.

Just then Larry walked out of the playroom and Mira jerked her arm away, resting it on the massage table. “That massage all about done now?”

I could see the panic in Mira’s eyes.

“I haven’t felt this good in years.” I turned to look at Mira and there was a charge between us; we both know I wasn’t just talking about her massages.

I called Zak the following night. I couldn’t stop thinking about Axel and how we connected. It was all so unexpected and moving, so quickly I found it hard to believe it was actually happening. I had spent all day thinking about the fact that this guy used to be my older brother’s best friend. It felt weird to see him so often and get close to him. Still, I knew I had to leave certain details out when talking to Zak.

“What’s up?” He sounded lazy, like always, but I was glad he actually answered.

“Wow, I managed to get you on the phone,” I said dryly.

“Gotta answer once in a while or else you’ll blow up my phone,” he shot back.

“Like you’re that important,” I laughed.

“You know it,” he said confidently, and I could already picture the look on his face. It had been a while since I saw him, but I was sure that friendly smile of his hadn’t changed.

“Yeah, whatever. So what’s Mr. Important got going on right now?”

“Building a tree house,” he said like it was the most normal thing in the world. I chuckled. He was quick to shut me up, “new neighbors, new kids. These people are friendlier and they’re paying so why not?”

“Oh my gosh, remember when dad tried to build a tree house?”

“It’s a good thing he tested it before he let you climb up there with your princess gear,” Zak laughed. I cracked up remembering how I stood there in my dress, crown, and this little bag I insisted was only suitable for my royal getup. I had dragged my favorite teddy along and a book, all ready to spend my time locked up in a tower. “He came tumbling down faster than someone could yell ‘timber.’ That was classic.” The two of us had a good laugh before he told me all about how the treehouse project came up.

“That sounds pretty cool,” I said. I was glad he took on a fun project and was getting friendly with the neighbors.

“Speaking of cool,” he said, “How’s that super Zen friend of yours? Does she know all about your caffeine addiction and affinity for big, juicy steaks yet?”

I laughed, “No chance. I mean, she knows stuff I like, but she’s hell bent on getting me to ‘moderate’ everything. I’m into it, though. Moderation is–”

“Says the girl who drinks her weight in coffee each day,” Zak snorted.

“Hey! I don’t do that. Not anymore, anyway. Kind of. Shut up, Zak. At least I’m trying to find inner peace here.”

“And depriving yourself constantly of what you really want achieves that how?”

I stayed quiet, but only because my mind was on Axel now. I really wanted him, but I had to deprive myself. He wasn’t allowed even in moderation. I let out a heavy sigh. I wanted to bring him up, but didn’t want Zak to get suspicious of anything. Then I remembered how Axel had picked up the broken pieces of wood and leaned them against the tree for a makeshift tree house... on the ground. I started cracking up.

––––––––

“What’s so funny now?”

“You remember the time Axel made his own broken ass tree house. He called it ‘The Axe House’? Sounds like a bad horror movie.”

Zak snorted and I took the chance to guide the conversation, “He was fun.”

“Of course you’d say that, you were so gaga for him that you failed to realize what an annoying kid sister you were being, always butting into my friendships.”

“Oh, come on, all kid siblings are annoying. That’s our job.” I laughed with him. I knew he was rolling his eyes on the other end of the phone. “When was the last time you even talked to him?”

“Don’t start this up,” he teased. “You were so totally in love with him, it was embarrassing. Please put that memory away,” he pleaded with a laugh. I felt myself blush and I hurriedly mumbled something about having to meet up with a friend before getting off the phone.

I wondered how Zak would react if he found out about Axel and I? It was weird to think about the past again. I knew I was crazy for Axel when we were younger. And back then the feelings weren’t reciprocated. But now I wanted to think the feelings weren’t totally one-sided. I sat in silence for a second.

“This is all too fucking weird,” I mumbled.

I was so consumed in my thoughts that I nearly jumped a mile when my text message alert went off. I quickly grabbed the phone. It was Shellsea. The text message read:

-I’m outside. -

I blanked for a moment then realized I had totally forgotten that we were supposed to brew kombucha together. My heart sank at the thought of having to drink that nasty sludge again. I remembered how I reacted to it before and even though some time had passed, I wasn’t keen on drinking it again any time soon. Like ever.

But the time was now and Shellsea was outside with the ‘kombucha mother’. I had to will myself not to throw up in my mouth a little and I hadn’t even tried it yet.

I went to the door, ready to put a brave face on, but Shellsea busted in with an uncharacteristic rage before I had a chance to open it. I watched as she slammed down a reusable fabric bag full of something heavy. She tugged down the fabric to reveal a bunch of liquor and not the gut wrenching kombucha tea I was expecting to see. I said a little prayer under my breath. Anything but that stuff would have been welcome. But now things were even more confusing.

“Uh, Shells, what’s this?”

“Chocolate martinis,” Shellsea responded like she couldn’t believe I didn’t know.

“You don’t drink,” I reminded her with an off expression. Shellsea rounded on me with such rage in her eyes that I actually took a step back.

“I do when I find out that Jude stopped fucking me, not because of some enlightenment bullshit, but because he's too tired after his ‘five-hour tantric sessions’ with some D-list bimbo with bolt-on boobs.” She pulled out several bottles of top-shelf liquor and a bottle of chocolate syrup from her bag before turning to look at me. I was staring at her in total disbelief. “What?” She shrugged, “I'm getting a colonic tomorrow anyway. This doesn't count.”

“It’s not that, Shells.”

Shellsea frowned, “I know.” She crossed to the kitchen and pulled out two glasses before walking back over and dropping down on the floor, cross-legged, in front of the coffee table. She opened the liquor bottle first and poured a copious amount into each glass, then opened the chocolate syrup and squirted some inside each. “Come on,” she said. I shrugged and joined her on the floor.

“So Jude,” I said after my first sip of the very strong, unsavory drink she had handed me.

“That asshole,” Shellsea corrected with a scowl. “All those stupid parties I went to with him and his so-called celebrity connections. Do you know how ridiculous some of those were?” Shellsea practically downed her drink and immediately fixed herself a refill.

I sipped mine quietly thinking that, yes, I did know how ridiculous some of those parties were. I was glad Shellsea only dragged me to one because that was enough to reaffirm my decision to stay far away from them forever. Jude had somehow managed to be friends with C-list actors and low-level reality stars. Most of them shared a common love to be choosy spiritual and physical health nuts.

“He met her at one of those parties,” Shellsea grumbled into her glass. She took a huge gulp before going on, “She isn’t even pretty, you know? She’s definitely not smart or interesting. I don’t know what the hell he sees in her, but whatever she does when fucking him must be amazing if that’s all he wants.” She downed her second drink and poured more alcohol into her glass, this time with a lot less chocolate.

I was still on my first glass but I decided not to let my best friend get drunk alone. I downed the rest of my drink and fixed a second one, making sure to make it a little more palatable this time since I was my own bartender now.

“Tonight we can get a little reckless and have fun, but I won’t let you get off track.” I said with a reassuring bump of the elbow.

“Off track of what?”

“You can keep calm and achieve a higher state and you know it,” I told her.

“But sometimes something else is in order,” Shellsea objected, raising her glass.

“I know but that’s only sometimes.”

“I’m the one who taught you about moderation, or are you already forgetting that?”

I laughed and clinked my glass to hers before downing the rest of my drink in one gulp. The two of us spent the next couple hours drinking before we ended up singing our favorite songs from a decade ago. It was fun and therapeutic in its own way. By the time Shellsea passed out on my couch, I was completely plastered.

I grabbed a blanket out of my closet and threw it over Shellsea before walking over to bolt my door shut. I drank a glass of water then poured a glass for her and left it on the coffee table. Then I walked to my bedroom and took off all my clothes to climb into bed.

“Fuck it,” I whispered. As I thought about all the kombacha tea, yoga, deep breaths, and Zen states.

Moderation and professional decorum could go fuck themselves. I did enough to suppress everything I wanted and like my older brother keenly pointed out, what did that really help? I didn’t feel any closer to being ‘Zen’ just because I had stopped myself from eating and doing and acting how I truly wanted to.

Maybe what I really needed to moderate was how I defined ‘moderation’ itself. I had always wanted to fuck Axel Montgomery. There was no question about it, even if my young teenaged mind had thought about it being all cute and sweet like in a movie. Now that I had gotten the real thing, and damn was it amazing, I wanted it again. I didn’t want to stop myself from everything, especially not from this.

I shut my eyes and remembered what we did in the massage room. I thought about his muscular body, slick with oil and shining under the lights. His skin felt so smooth and hot. Then I thought about his manhood—all throbbing and thick and thrusting into me.

I reached down and brushed my fingertips between my legs, thinking about how amazing it felt to have him inside of me.

Moderation be damned, I wanted more.

I was running across the field, holding the football in my hands. The sun was beating down on me and a line of sweat ran down from my forehead, but I was feeling good. I heard some angry yelling from one of my teammates, but it didn’t concern me. I kept going until the whistle blew and I made my way back over to the water cooler where the coach was standing.

It was the first practice I was able to participate in after what had felt like an eternity. It felt amazing to be back on the field, it didn’t matter if it was only practice. I was just glad to be out there, crunching the grass under my feet rather than sitting my ass on the bench. My shoulder ached some but that was to be expected. What mattered was that the sharp pain was gone and I could power through pretty much anything now.

I knew it was especially thanks to my time with Mira. Firing that old hippie-type massage therapist was one of the best decisions I had ever made. Pestering Larry to find me another massage therapist sure had paid off. From the first massage I knew she was the one for me. But I never thought I would think of her as more than a therapist.

I tossed the ball in the air and caught it. I didn’t wince. I quietly thanked Mira under my breath. It wasn’t just about the massages she gave me with her magic hands. I smirked, thinking about how I told her she was magic. It was strange how just sitting next to her on my couch was so fulfilling. That was something I never felt with my ex. With her I was always on edge.

The coach caught my attention and snapped me out of my rambling thoughts. I jogged over to him, football tucked securely under my arm. “Yeah?”

“Go easy on the shoulder, Axe, you look rough out there,” the coach advised as he handed me a cup of cold water.

I gulped it down gratefully, “Yeah, things are still really tight. I need to be sure to get that massage in so things keep going in the right direction.” It was mostly a lie, I just wanted to keep seeing her. She was supposed to be there later that day and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Thinking of her kept me distracted during practice.

“Alright well go ahead,” the Coach nodded and dismissed me early. I turned away, ignoring a call from one of my annoying teammates.

I turned to check on the locker room area and saw Mira already standing there. A huge grin spread across my face. I walked over to her, paper cup now crumpled up in my hand. The thought of her watching me as I played gave me a little spark of energy. I was happy she finally had a chance to see me in my element, even if it was a weak practice. I picked up my pace until I was jogging, making my way quickly up to her.

I didn’t give a damn about my sweaty uniform or who might be loitering in the area. As soon as I walked up to her I backed her into the tunnel going underneath the stadium and pressed her up against the wall with a kiss. I pressed my lips against hers, sidling her body between me and the wall and enjoying every second of it to the fullest.

To my surprise, she didn’t hesitate. She fell into it and kissed me back. She stilled her body against mine and wrapped her arms around me. I wanted to make a snide remark about how she said we needed to stay professional, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop kissing her. She tasted sweet and her body was warm. I loved the way she felt against me. I took a moment to catch my breath and cracked my eyes open to look into hers. They were bright with excitement.

“Hey,” I mumbled, my lips brushing against hers as I spoke.

“Hey.” She smiled back

It was new and exciting to hear her talk like that. It was all I needed. I grabbed the back of her head and kissed her again. She sighed softly against my mouth and wrapped her hand around the back of my neck.

That was all the invitation I needed to take her to the massage room and lock the door behind me.

My mind was in a haze. My skin was on fire with Axel leaving a burning trail everywhere he ran his fingers. My decision to let go of moderation, professionalism, and everything else holding me back had not wavered; and the more Axel kissed me and pushed me up against the door, the stronger I felt about being with him. The doorknob dug into my back and I yelped.

“Sorry,” he muttered before landing his lips on mine again.

I opened my eyes and leaned my head back, breathing heavily as he kissed my neck and ran his hand under my shirt. I loved the way it felt when he grabbed my waist and touched my stomach. I lifted my leg up instinctively and jutted my chest out, prompting him to bury his face between my breasts even though they were covered by my shirt. I loved the fact that he found me so irresistible. I rolled my hips forward and felt his hardening bulge push against me. We both groaned with pleasure.

This time there was more urgency to our movements. It was like we both kicked down a figurative door to fun and adventure and not the reserved professionalism we tried to maintain. Now we weren’t willing to wait to walk through it. We charged forward. We wanted each other so badly. There was heat and want and need generated between our bodies. I spotted a chair in the corner and pushed him back.

I smirked, but didn’t say a word; instead I took off my polo shirt in one a swift motion and threw it at him. He opened his mouth as if he was going to protest, but instead slung the shirt over his shoulder and started to walk back toward me. I ducked out of his reach and walked casually over to the chair, dropping down on it with one leg over the other. I looked over at him expectantly, pupils wide with lust.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” My voice was low and sultry. I unbuttoned my tight slacks and slowly pulled the zipper down, staring Axel dead in the eyes the entire time.

I gave him a little seductive smirk when I saw him gulp. I knew he wasn’t used to this side of me and, truth be told, I wasn’t either. This was completely out of character, but there was something about him that brought it out of me. It was fun and fulfilling; it was sexy and exciting. It wasn’t moderation. It wasn’t Zen. But it sure was exhilarating.

He walked over and once he was standing directly in front of me, he grabbed the hem of his football jersey to take it off. I jumped up and stopped him.

“What?”

I looked at him in awe and whispered, “You look so fucking hot in your uniform.”

“But I’m all sweaty and it’s dirty,” he said even though he knew it didn’t matter.

I let out a long breath, ran my tongue over my teeth, and looked at him like he was tastiest piece of meat I had ever seen. Every juicy steak I spent my time fantasizing about every time Shellsea made me feel guilty for not being more committed to moderation completely paled in comparison to Axel. He was far more delicious and satisfying. My eyes traveled along his broad shoulders. He looked even bigger with the shoulder pads on. His thighs were firm and muscular, strong just like the rest of him. I stepped forward, smiling deviously as I wrapped my arm around him to give his ass a squeeze. 

“Nice and firm,” I giggled. “Just the way I like it.”

“I could say the same about you,” he said with a devilish smirk as he reached around and gave my own butt a pinch. I jumped and giggled. It hurt a little but the heat in my chest meant I liked it. He gave my ass cheek a slap. The still air of the massage room filled with a resounding smack.

The two of us laughed and looked around, even though we were perfectly aware that there was no one there and the door was locked. Then, quite suddenly, Axel barreled toward me and grabbed me in his arms. I wrapped my legs around him in and instant. He held me up as his lips landed on me in the most fiery kiss I had ever experienced. I had no clue what had just happened or how, all I knew was the desperate need to feel him was stronger than ever. My hips rocked against him, rubbing insistently against his rock hard bulge. We moaned against my mouth before I broke away our kiss with a whimper.

“Fuck me,” I whined, face feeling uncomfortably hot.

Axel spun around to drop down on the chair with me landing on his lap. He watched my perky breasts bounce as I landed in the chair with him. I felt his hand tugging down at my bra to find my nipple, rolling it between his fingers. I brought my hand up to my mouth and moaned into my palm. I was keenly aware of where we were and I didn’t want anybody outside to hear.

“Oh, fuck,” I whimpered into his ear when he started thrusting against me, hand tugging at the ends of his dark brown hair. I slid off his lap and hurriedly took off my slacks and panties. If it was any other man I might have felt awkward standing in front of him wearing nothing but a polo shirt and bra, but all I wanted was him and I wanted him as quickly as possible. I bent over and fussed with his football pants until he finally helped me out. As soon as his hardness was out I grabbed a hold of him, leaning in to kiss him eagerly. I felt out of control but, for once, I was perfectly okay with it.

I straddled him, still holding him from the base of his shaft, and guided him between my legs. As soon as I felt the tip of him breach my opening my heart went still. Then, in one quick movement, I plopped down on his lap and felt him push into me. We both drew in a rattling breath. I placed my hands on his shoulders and held on tightly as I started to ride him. I moved slow and steady at first as I made exaggerated motions with my hips. Then I yanked his jersey up, wanting to see and feel the defined muscles of his body.

In a flash he reached up and unfastened his shoulder pads, tossing them to the ground in a heap. I ran my fingers over the thick crevices of his muscles and slowed my motion a bit when he cupped my ass in his large hands. I picked up the speed of my rocking hips. In perfect rhythm I drew my body up to the head of his shaft then slammed back down onto his lap. Faster and faster. The way he closed his eyes and clenched the muscles of his jaw shut spurred me on even more. 

Axel wasn’t far behind; he buried his face in the crook of my neck and sucked a kiss as one hand slid under my shirt to unclasp my bra with expert precision. He shoved my shirt and bra up enough to expose my breasts. I was the perfect handful for his calloused hands. With a smile, he took my breast into his mouth. I started riding him faster, adding a circular motion until he groaned against my flesh.

I had never had sex like this before. I had never been such a wild beast filled with lust and want. But, then again, this was the first time I was with someone who really drew it out of me. Every time I looked in his eyes I saw a million nights of teenaged fantasies where I would go to bed disappointed after. Now was my chance to make up for all those nights. Now was my chance to taste what I had only dreamed of before.

He bit down on my nipple and I cried out, but the pain was soon washed away when he swiped his tongue gently over it. At the same time, he gripped my hips and pushed up to match my rhythm, pushing deeper inside of me. He slammed up into me rough this time, but I liked it. His teeth clenched. His eyes stared at my breasts as they bounced from his bucking hips. Knowing he was as out of control as I was made everything that much hotter. I dug my nails into his flesh, my body jerking wildly on top of him. Heat coiled in my center and was ready to boil over any second.

––––––––

I wasn’t even aware of how loud I was when the orgasm smashed into me like a freight truck. Instantly I crumpled onto him and buried my head into his neck.

“I’m gonna cum,” he warned. As soon as he spoke I hopped off and dropped to my knees. I swallowed his entire length in one go and hollowed my cheeks, almost immediately feeling his hot orgasm explode over my tongue. I tossed my head back and swallowed the last of it before collapsing back on the ground. He bent down and joined me on the floor with a satisfied huff.

I was lying on the floor, idly running my hands over his injured shoulder as I felt the pleasant tingles slowly fading throughout my body. He was by my side lying on his stomach, head turned to face me. His eyes were just as droopy and love drunk as mine.

“I’ve always had a thing for you,” I admitted abruptly.

Axel laughed, “It was pretty obvious... Randy.”

I socked him and paused before rubbing his shoulder a little more, working on the knot. We sat in silence for a bit with me working on his shoulder. He sighed with relief. I could only imagine how much his shoulder was affecting him.

“You know,” I said, “This is actually the best I’ve felt it, the injury. You feel loosened up.”

“Well, good sex relaxes me,” Axel sniggered.

I sighed instead of laughing or feigning flattery. I caught the look he gave me. “I don’t know what relaxes me, to be honest. I’ve tried just about everything, or at least it feels that way. I do yoga and all the healthy stuff my best friend gets me into, but at the end of the day I’m still just a ball of nerves.”

“Hmm, I’ve got an idea,” he said. I looked at him curiously as he stood up but he was soon pulling me up just enough to get me lying back on the massage table. He took off my shirt and bra completely before resting his hand by my shoulder and looking into my eyes.

“What? Are you going to massage me?” I asked jokingly.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it a massage,” he said before pushing my legs apart.

I let out a gasp when I felt his mouth press against the inside of my knee. He left a trail of small, wet kisses up my thigh until he reached my center. His hot breath landed on my most sensitive area and it made shivers erupt over all my skin. My body gave a small shudder. I leaned my head back with eyes closed just as he pressed his lips to my center.

“Ah,” I breathed out, hands curling over the edges of the massage table.

He dipped the tip of his tongue into the crevice right at the base of my slit and slowly dragged upward, giving a flick to my clit before repeating the motion. He did it again, only faster and with a bit more pressure. It didn’t take long for my knees to tremble and my toes to clench. He closed his mouth over me and sucked while wiggling his tongue up and down my wet lips. I moaned again before silencing myself by biting my lower lip. But when I felt him slide his whole tongue inside of me I bit down a bit too hard and cried out with both pain and pleasure.

“Oh, fuck! Axel!”

He groaned against me. I loved the way it sent vibrations into my tingling flesh. He kept working me with his tongue, never neglecting my clit, until I was writhing on the massage table. I was moaning loud and gripping the edges so hard my knuckles were white. Finally, the orgasm ran through my body like a tidal wave. I shook, muscles clenching and trembling. He stood up straight and wiped his mouth and chin off with the back of his hand. When I sat up to look at him I noticed how hard he was again. I couldn’t help but smile and giggle a little.

He arched his eyebrows with a smug smile, “I can go all night, babe.” 

I reached behind me and squirted some massage oil on the palm of my hands before scooting down to the end of the massage table. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss; the moment our lips touched. I wrapped my hand around him and started stroking. He whimpered against my mouth as I placed my other hand on the back of his head to keep him from breaking the kiss.

He rocked forward. I wasn’t jerking him for long when he was already thrusting into my hand. He picked up speed, especially when he started touching my breasts. His thrusting went so hard and fast the massage table was bumping against the wall. His hips jerked forward and I knew he was about to come, so I cupped my hand just as his orgasm shot out and dripped all over my hands.

I got up and washed my hands in the bathroom. When I was done getting dressed, Axel only had his boxers on. He was fixing up his dirty uniform to throw in the hamper once he headed back to the locker room.

He turned to look at me with a smile, “Like what you see, huh?”

I laughed and smacked him playfully on the arm. Then pressed my lips to the exact same spot, as if a sweet peck could ease the pain. He cupped my chin and pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth before moving to finish getting dressed. I lounged in the chair as he finished up, pulling at my curls and watching them bounce.

“Even now it looks good,” he winked.

“I’m a wash-and-go kind of girl so I guess there isn’t much to mess up.” It was a lie, but it was one I was hell bent on keeping up. I had no clue why, but I was obsessed with keeping it secret just how much time and effort I actually put into styling my hair every day. It was embarrassing.

When we finally emerged from the massage room we saw Dr. Killian standing against the wall across from the door.

“Long session?” he asked, with raised eyebrows.

I felt my cheeks blush and something heavy drop to the pit of my stomach. My throat went instantly dry. I thought of how loud we were and how stupid it was to have done that. I was too busy cursing myself in my mind to respond to him, but luckily Axel stepped up and did the talking.

“I was a mess and she fixed me right up.”

I had three nanny interviews scheduled. It was tedious, but it was also the most important person I would have to hire. I wanted only the best for my little girl so I needed to be sure I picked not only the most qualified person, but one I got good vibes from. She had to get along with Molly and she couldn’t just up and leave like Janice did.

I didn’t want to find myself in another situation like that one. I grit my teeth and pushed the thought of Janice away because all it ever did was cause me to get angry. I still thought she was ungrateful and not worth a crap as a professional. What the hell kind of professional gives up a steady, high-paying gig like the one I had offered her? And to top it off, she left with no notice.

So I spent the day watching each of the three nannies play with Molly. They were all nice enough and Molly was receptive to each one. I should have found comfort in that but, instead, I felt a twinge of guilt I had never felt before. Was I just pawning my kid off onto some stranger. Whoever I hired was just someone else on my payroll and, for some reason, that idea bothered me for the first time ever. No matter how qualified the nanny may have been and how well she might get along with Molly, she still wasn’t family to my little girl. I was entrusting the well-being of my child to someone I wrote a check for—just like my manager.

When the last one left, a busty blond young lady who was obviously into me, I leaned back on my couch and let out along sigh. I felt drained and unaccomplished; it was annoying. Even though Molly was taken with the last nanny I knew she was off the list. I didn’t feel like having someone like her around; I could tell she would constantly be flirting with me. I didn’t want that by a longshot.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my cell phone ringing. Molly was off in her bedroom doing something silly, no doubt, and I was too tired to move. I lazily reached out for the phone and answered the call; it was Larry.

“How’d the interviews go, Axe?”

I rolled my eyes at the mention of my nickname. When it was used off the field or outside of official football events it seemed stupid. It was probably just the way Larry said it that bothered me, but Larry was over the top with everything.

“Unhelpful,” I muttered.

“None of them hot enough for ya?” He laughed. I could practically see the man patting himself on the back.

I rolled my eyes, “I’m not looking to hire a call girl, Larry. I’m looking for someone who is going to take care of my child.

Larry stopped laughing at once, “Right. So tell me the problem.”

I didn’t really feel like getting into it, least of all with Larry. The man wasn’t capable of understanding any of it.

“None of them felt right.” I could almost hear him reeling on the other end, wanting to make a joke along the lines of me feeling them up and them not being my ‘type’. I rolled my eyes again even though he never made the joke. I was frustrated and I knew Larry was picking up on it. No matter how dense he could be, sometimes even he wouldn’t miss that.

“Well, who cares how they felt? They just got to do the job, and do it well I mean, and then go home. I mean, what else is there to it? It's just a job to them anyway.”

Right at that moment Molly bounced into the room where I was sitting. There was a huge grin on her face, but I could see it in her eyes that she needed a short nap. I pulled her onto my lap protectively and rocked her as she curled up comfortably.

“It shouldn’t be just a job,” I protested. I was thinking out loud more than telling him.

Molly squawked about being interrupted from her nap. She looked up at me with her cute, blue eyes and my chest tightened. She was too precious to be left in the hands of someone who saw her like they saw any other job. I cupped her cheek and nudged her head so that she rested it against me again, lovingly stroking her dark brown hair.

“Look, Larry, I’ve got to go.” Before he could object I ended the call and sat the phone aside. I would much rather be with Molly than talking to him.

She sat up and looked at him. Her eyes were still sleepy, but I could tell she was in the mood to fight the nap. She’d rather be playing. She pulled her doll to her chest and started twirling the hair around her fingers, humming a song from one of the television shows she liked to watch with Janice. I felt the twinge of guilt again. Molly moved around a bit before settling in, leaning her head on me for a moment. She placed her doll on my leg and reached up to tug on my ears instead. She giggled loudly and I gave in with a wholehearted laugh.

“What’s up, buttercup?” I asked with a bright smile.

“I’m happy you my daddy,” Molly said with the cutest little smile I had ever seen.

I kissed her on the forehead and she snuggled against me. I saw the doll on the couch, at her side, and I realized I hadn’t bought her anything new in a while. For once, it didn’t really bother me. I usually couldn’t go more than two or three days without bringing her a small present. She didn’t seem to care. Something about that made me smile. I wanted to buy her something, but the affection she had just shown was more heartwarming than the excitement she had when I handed her yet another gift.

“I’m happy I’m your daddy too,” I whispered against the top of her head.

I was lounging around in bed when my phone rang. I was surprised to see it was Zak calling.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, big bro?”

“Hey,” his voice came in. “How’s it going?”

“Not bad, not bad at all.”

“Sounds like there’s something to tell,” he said right away. I could already feel the brotherly third degree surfacing.

“Maybe,” I said vaguely. I knew it drove him nuts when I did that. Taking my duty as the annoying kid sister seriously, I never missed a chance to bug him.

Zak scoffed, “Oh, you’ll spill. Anyway, guess who’s all done building that tree house? The kids love it.”

“Way to pat yourself on the back there,” I laughed.

“Well, why shouldn’t I? I did a good job. I deserve a pat on that back.” He paused and I already knew what was coming. “Or maybe a massage.”

“Get over it,” I said, popping a cookie into my mouth. It was total gluttony but they were too delicious for me to care. I was all about sweet treats the past couple of days.

“I can hear you crunching over the phone, you know. It’s kinda gross.”

“Yeah right,” I mumbled, still munching away. “It’s nothing compared to the T-rex noises you make every time you eat.”

“Excuse me,” he objected. “I eat just fine, thank you very much. You on the other hand... You’re just a desperate fatty cat lady, or at least a repressed version of one.”

I huffed and shoved the package of cookies aside. I knew it wasn’t true, but he still ruined the joy of gorging myself with sugar. “I’m not desperate. Actually, I’m seeing someone.”

True to form, Zak laughed annoyingly, “Oh, the poor guy.” He kept laughing for a few more seconds.

Maybe it was out of anger and for all the wrong reasons, but I went for it anyway. “Go fuck yourself, Zak.”

He mocked being hurt. I could picture him clearly, clutching his chest and contorting his face like I had just shot him through the heart. When he finally stopped his noises of pain I decided to come clean. “You know him, actually.”

“Did you poach one of my buddies behind my back?”

“Not exactly,” I told him rather sheepishly. “It’s Axel.”

Zak's laughing and playful jokes went quiet in an instant. My heart sank and I started to feel a bit nervous, thinking I had made a mistake to bring it up so soon. Just before my mind went totally into overdrive he spoke up, “Oh Randy. Oh shit.”

“Don’t call me Randy,” I snapped.

“Fine,” he bit back.

“What’s the problem?” I tried to sound firm when I asked, but I knew Zak would pick up on the quiver in my voice. I was nervous, but I hoped he was done messing with me and, if he was being serious, that he didn’t try to make light of it.

“Axel,” his voice was angry. “Fuck. I'll kick his ass.” He was getting overprotective, but this time I wasn’t sure just how serious he was being. Either way I couldn’t imagine an actual fight between the two so I decided not to worry about it.

“No you won't,” I finally teased. “He's like double your size.”

“Stay away from him,” Zak warned. He wasn’t joking and I could tell he didn’t care for the comment I had just made either. It was a rare occasion I got this side of my older brother so it made me even more concerned.

“And why should I?”

“Don’t you ever wonder why I stopped talking to him? Guy is a giant douche. I swear, he thinks he can just buy the world and everyone in it. I wasn't his friend; I was his employee.”

There was disappointment in his voice. I realized this really was the first time he had talked to me so openly and honestly about what happened between him and Axel. Apparently that was all one big letdown and now he was worried the same thing was going to happen to me. I had a twinge of unease inside my gut. Guilt, sadness, and paranoia all mixed into one jumbled mess.

I pursed my lips and buried my face in my hand, sighing into it. I started thinking about how Axel hired me. It all started with me being his employee, so how could I even try to ignore what Zak was warning me about? Being my regular client wasn’t enough for him; Axel had to nab me away from the rest of the world and make me his personal therapist. I was now essentially at his beck and call; I even signed my life away at his request. And through it all he had treated it like the most trivial thing in the world. I felt my stomach drop further. It burned. I hated feeling like I had made a terrible mistake, that my brother was totally right about all this.

“Look, Mira, all I’m saying is don't let him treat you like just some hired hand. Don’t let him treat you like crap the way he is with everyone he hires. He just thinks of them as people he throws money at, like they’re less than him or something. You're so much better than that, sis.” Zak sounded genuinely concerned for me.

I didn’t want him to worry too much about me, especially not for this. He had done enough by being so honest. I wanted to resent him for bursting my bubble, but deep down, I knew it was for the best. Living on cloud nine only made the fall that much harder and with someone like Axel I really needed to stay grounded. Plus, I was getting misty at my big brother being so protective of me. It wasn’t something I wanted to take for granted. I figured living in my little dream land where Axel was concerned also shouldn’t be taken for granted.

“I know,” I said softly. “I’ll think about everything you told me, Zak. I know you’re only doing it because you care. Just remember I value myself too much to let some dude treat me like crap, okay? I won’t let him get away with that.” I was trying to placate his feelings, sure, but there was truth to my words.

“I’m glad to hear it, sis. You should value yourself.”

I felt my chest swell. It was rare for Zak to earnestly let me know he thinks I was amazing so when he did it really got to me. “Thanks, Zak.” I was about to end the call but I added, “You should too, you know.” I told him I loved him and he said he did too. Then the call was over. I curled up in bed feeling crappy from the conversation.

“This sucks,” I complained to the empty room. I really wanted to think I wasn’t stupid for going after Axel when I had the chance, but it was hard to think anything else. I loved it, but I didn’t want to be played a fool.

I sat up and stared at the open door of my bedroom. I placed my hand on the fluffy comforter and felt how soft it was. I thought about how I had never gotten Axel in my room. We had only ever done it in the massage room at his workplace and on his schedule. I slammed my fist down on the bed angrily. Maybe I already had been played the fool and I just didn’t want to admit it.

I pushed myself up off the bed and went to the liquor cabinet, where the leftover alcohol and chocolate syrup from Shellsea’s last visit was stored. I made a chocolate martini, just as strong as Shellsea had during her own moment of despair. When I caught a whiff of the stuff it dawned on me that excess and taking what I wanted was what got me mixed up in this mess to begin with. My journey toward ‘moderation’ and ‘Zen’ was correct the whole time.

I promptly walked over to the sink and poured it down the drain.

It was time to get my life in order.

It was time to head out for practice, but I wasn’t ready to go yet. There was no one to watch Molly; I couldn’t bring myself to hire any of the nannies I had interviewed and I wasn’t able to schedule a last minute slot for her at the daycare. I was frustrated and stressed. I couldn’t miss practice; coach didn’t like anybody to skip practice, ever.  I knew there was only one option, but I didn’t like it and I knew the coach and teammates wouldn’t either.

“Shit,” I muttered under my breath just in case Molly was hiding somewhere near me. The last thing I needed on top of everything off was for her to go off spouting curse words in front of others. I had to take her to practice, but I wasn’t prepared for it. I scurried to stuff essential items in a reusable tote bag and called out for her. She didn’t show up and the house was silent. I got irritated. This wasn’t the time for games.

“Molly,” I called out again, walking toward her playroom. Sure enough, she was wearing a little apron over her clothes and was hiding in the standing closet for some reason. She popped out and screamed. I didn’t have the energy to act scared, but when I saw a pout form on her lips I immediately tried to fix it.

I dropped to the floor and crawled backward to the other wall, bringing my legs up as I pretended to shake. I clamped my eyes shut and yelled, “Monster in the closet!”

Molly let out a shrill laugh and screamed, “No, daddy! It me! Molly! Molly, Molly Molly!”

I cracked one eye opened and peered at her before letting out a very loud and exaggerated sigh of relief. “Oh! I was so scared!”

“I got daddy!” She ran to me hopped straight into my arms. I pulled her in tight and kissed the top of her head. As much as it broke my heart to end this moment, I was already running late for practice. I knew the coach would be irritated when I showed up late and with my kid. That wasn’t quite the stellar return I had in mind during all the time I spent on the bench.

“Alright kiddo,” I said in all seriousness. Molly slid off and sat on the floor, cross-legged and with her hands in her lap. I smiled tenderly thinking she was all ready for kindergarten, but I quickly had to push that thought out of my mind because I got emotional. “Guess what? You’re coming to practice with daddy today!” I tried to sound as upbeat about it as possible just to get her excited.

She clapped and jumped up and down before running right back into my arms. It was extremely rare for her to go out with me during practice and she had a much different recollection of how it went than I did. She didn’t pick up on the eye rolls of my teammates when she started screaming or the annoyance everyone felt when she got insistent on playing with the football.

It was always a bit of a mess and hard to deal with, resulting in significantly less productivity and positivity. I didn’t hold it against the guys; they all loved Molly otherwise and totally fawned over her, but to have a toddler disrupt practice was a different story.

“Daddy already packed up for you so it’s time to go,” I told her. She instantly looked around her playroom and started running around, grabbing things at random.

“I want these.”

Sometimes it amazed me just how strong of a character she was for being so young. I heaved a sigh and tried to reason with her, “We don’t need to take all these, sweetheart. I packed your favorite dolly and a couple dresses and another toy. We won’t be too long.”

“But I want these,” she said flatly.

She had her ‘no discussion’ look on her face. I hated contradicting her, but this time I knew there was no way around it. “I’m sorry, Molls. We can’t take these today.”

She instantly flew into a fit of the kind she rarely had; I couldn’t believe my luck that she was choosing to behave this way today of all days. She stamped her feet and spoke loudly, “No! I want these! I take these!” She picked up the toys and clutched them tight to her chest, but some of them fell out of her grasp.

My hands grabbed the sides of my head as I looked at her with exhaustion. It took way too long to finally pack up her and her toys to go to practice. I was already late as it was.

“It’s about time you...” The coach was ready to give me an earful when he spotted Molly getting tugged behind me. He gave me a look before turning on his heel and walking out of the tunnel and onto the field, where the rest of the team was already warming up.

“Are you done being mad at daddy?” I crouched down in front of her. She promptly looked away from me, her little arms crossed. I looked to the massage room and wished I could just leave her in there and not have to bring her out on the field with my teammates. I only hoped that she would be too busy being angry with me to not cause much disruption during practice.

Maybe I’d get lucky and she would just sit on the bench, dutifully playing with her doll and keeping to herself. I knew it was a long shot, but at the rate we were going I had at least a bit of hope for that best-case scenario. I took her hand and she reluctantly walked with me out to the field. All the guys turned to stare at us. I could instantly feel the tension.

I lead her over to the bench and saw her continue to keep glancing over at the team; I knew she wanted to greet them like always, but she also wanted to keep her angry act up. She was hardly this petulant so I just dropped it, especially because I had kept everyone waiting long enough.

And that was when I saw Mira standing at the mouth of the hallway to the field, watching me with Molly. I was so relieved to see she had come early that I failed to notice the look on her face. There was no smile or affection. She was serious and standoffish, but all that was lost on me. I started running over to her without mentioning anything to the coach or my teammates.

“Hey, Montgomery! Now where are you going!”

I just waived the coach off and kept running, not caring that the man would be fuming with me later. I stopped in front of Molly with a smile, “Am I glad to see you! Would you mind watching Molly while I practice?”

Mira bristled. She drew herself up to her full height, crossed her arms, and I saw her entire body tense up. “So that’s why you’re glad to see me,” she said.

“Mira-”

She shook her head and interrupted me. “I'm your therapist, not your babysitter.”

I recoiled a bit. I didn’t know whether I should be hurt or angry. It didn’t necessarily occur to me that I could feel both at the same time. “I thought you two got along.”

“We did,” Mira said. She paused and looked over at Molly. Her gaze softened and she took a deep breath before turning back to me. “We do. We do get along.” She looked back over at Molly, who as just sitting on the bench watching my teammates warm up. “She’s adorable and we have fun together.” I felt hopeful. Maybe I had struck gold. Sure enough, Mira finally agreed to watch her for a bit during practice. “Don’t make a habit of it,” she warned me.

I was beyond relieved and happy. I thanked her before excusing myself to run back to the team and join them for the end of warm ups. I kept watching to make sure Mira reached Molly okay. I was curious if my daughter’s anger would let up now that she was with Mira. Sure enough, it took only a couple minutes to happen. I was finally able to really get into practice, but every once in a while I looked over at the bench where Mira sat with her. I’d catch glimpses of them laughing or talking or playing with the doll.  It made one of the most genuine smiles I had ever had spread across my face.

“Keep your head in the game,” the coach warned in a low voice during a water break. He pulled me aside. I didn’t think the coach suspected anything between Mira and I, so I figured he was just talking about keeping an eye on my little girl.

“I am,” I told him.

“Well, do it more,” the coach persisted before shoving a cup of water into my hand and walking away to yell at another teammate. I huffed but gulped down the water anyway; I was still the best damn player on the team. It didn’t matter if I was injured or had my daughter around. I wasn’t the type to constantly screw something up, even when hours of practice went into getting it right. I knew the coach was just mad about the whole situation. I couldn’t really blame him, but it still bugged me to be yelled at like I was some irresponsible teammate. I practically was the team.

I turned to look over at Molly and Mira. I stood there for a moment as I tried to make sense of the relationship I had with Mira. It all seemed undefined—like I was entering uncharted territory every time we were together.

I gulped and found myself wishing I had more water because my mouth was feeling suddenly dry. I shook my head crumpled both cups in my hands and focused on how well Molly and Mira got along. I stood there and watched them play together and I felt something warm in my chest; then the whistle blew and I had to get back to practicing.

I did my best to keep focused on the game, if only to prove a point to the coach. After completing a particularly difficult play, I turned to see both Molly and Mira watching me. They were smiling excitedly and Mira was pointing me out on the field, explaining something to Molly. I loved how they looked together. It truly looked like Mira played with Molly like a mother would, not like a nanny. I felt like there was real love there, not like she was playing with her for a paycheck.

I felt a jolt in my stomach that shot up to my heart. Coach yelled at me to get my head on straight, but I just shrugged him off. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Mira was with her. I had never seen another woman interact like that with Molly. Was it because she loved Molly? Or because she loved me?

Maybe I was being ridiculous or maybe I was finally picking up on something; maybe I really had struck gold. I pushed myself to get through the rest of practice and mumbled something at the end about having to watch my shoulder to try quelling the coach’s anger. As soon as we were done, I ran over to Molly and Mira feeling more excited than ever. Mira was still a little tight-lipped around me.

“We can skip today’s session if you’re feeling a tired. I’m feeling a little loose today anyway.” I said as I rolled my shoulder in a circle.

Mira shook her head, “I came here to do my job.”

I didn’t want to argue or get into anything so I just took Molly’s hand and we followed Mira to the massage room, but as soon as we turned into the hallway, we were stopped by Dr. Killian. He had a strange look of disappointment and anger written over his face.

Something was definitely wrong.

The three of us stopped in our tracks, but Molly tugged at Axel’s hand; she didn’t know what was going on. I gulped nervously. Something didn’t feel right.

“Just a moment Doctor.” Axel said as he crouched down in front of Molly. “Daddy has to have an important talk with this man, okay? Can you be good and keep quiet?” Molly nodded and pressed her lips together in a fine line. Axel smiled and nodded before standing back up and facing Dr. Killian.

“What is it?”

I was unsettled by Axel’s way of talking to the doctor, especially because I was panicking like a mad woman on the inside. I noticed that he was holding a paper and my heart started to race, breath coming in short and fast. Axel turned to look at me. I could tell he wanted to comfort me.

Dr. Killian held out the contract I had signed. He waved it in my direction when I didn’t immediately take it. I reached out with a shaking hand and grabbed it from him reluctantly. I knew what it was and I dreaded whatever he had to say about it. Axel gave a little snort of his nose and I looked down to notice his hand clenching in a fist. I could practically feel him seething next to me. I just silently hoped he didn’t do anything rash to make matters worse.

The doctor reached out and pointed to a line in the contract, “Miss Bach, can you go ahead and read this out loud?”

“Oh, come on. What are we in kindergarten?” Axel said with disdain.

“No,” Dr. Killian responded. It was obvious he wasn’t amused, but I doubted Axel was trying to amuse him anyway. Axel probably thought this was flat-out ridiculous. If not for my intense dread, I might have saw it the same way. “Read it.”

I cleared my throat and read it out loud in a weak voice, “Any improper contact with the players or staff for whom the signee works for or with is immediate grounds for termination.” My heart dropped and I felt like vomiting. It really was the worst case scenario. One second I was pissed and hurt, the next I was losing my job and my only source of income. I felt humiliated. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

Axel opened his mouth to protest, but Dr. Killian stopped him. “Don’t even try to deny anything,” he said shortly. “The security cameras caught you and her in the hallway. So even if what I heard won’t stand up, that footage certainly will.”

I was aghast. The dread reached every part of my body and I went numb. I lost all feeling and it started to feel like the ground was slipping out from underneath me. Looking into the doctor’s eyes I could tell he had every intention to take this all the way. I wondered if he had always had it in for me for some reason. Or maybe he had it in for Axel?

I thought of everything I had to sign but, more importantly, the way Dr. Killian talked to me during our meeting. I distinctly remembered feeling like he thought I was some idiot woman only after one thing—to get ahead by using Axel’s name, never mind our complicated past. Did Dr. Killian always suspect me of doing something wrong? Did he have a strange vendetta against me? None of that mattered. The end result would be the same anyway.

I thought of all the work I had put into being my own boss and the reason it all started. That was when I found myself glaring at Dr. Killian; like it was back at my old place, there I was at the mercy of some tight-ass doctor. I felt so many strong emotions at once that my head started to spin. I thrusted the paper back into the doctor’s hand and placed mine flat on the wall to hold myself steady.

“So, you’re saying...” My voice trailed off and I looked away from Dr. Killian. I couldn’t even bear to look at him. This was too much. What was I supposed to do now? I didn’t know if this was worth it, but it was too late now. Horror overtook me, flooding my system until it slowly changed to anger.

That was when I had the awful, sinking realization that this really could cost me everything. From one moment to the next, everything I had worked so hard for could be over. My license was on the line. As my mind raced a million miles an hour I heard Axel growl. My instinct was to turn and look at him, but I couldn’t even do that. I felt frozen.

“The team can't fire her. She is mine.” Axel said with clenched fists.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s all yours Mr. Montgomery, but that’s the problem to begin with.”

I knew the doctor was testing Axel, taunting him, but I couldn’t take my focus off Axel’s words. I really hated the way he referred to me as ‘his’. Being hired by him wasn’t the same thing and I thought of what Zak had said earlier. Maybe my older brother was right and Axel was just incapable of knowing the difference.

“You know what I mean,” Axel snapped. Dr. Killian made a snorting laugh, almost as if he was delighting in causing me pain. “She is my personal employee and that means I’m the only one with power over her.”

And that was when I snapped back into the moment at hand, despite the panic and surge of emotions flowing through me. I turned to look at Axel. He was completely serious. I couldn’t believe my ears. I couldn’t believe it even though I was standing right next to him and heard it for myself. Now I knew that was how he saw me. It hurt and I hated to admit it, but after what Zak had told me, there was no two ways about it. My brother warned me and now, there I was, just one day later and I couldn’t believe just how right he was.

I ran through the series of events quickly in my mind and I grew livid. I was ashamed and disappointed in myself. I fell for Axel’s act, let myself get carried away by an old crush and how sweet he was with his little girl.

It had to have been the stupidest thing I had ever done. I berated myself. Even today he decided to treat me like a high-priced babysitter and I gave in. Axel didn’t know what the word ‘no’ meant because nobody ever said it to him. I was guilty of never saying no to him also. I hated that about myself. Standing there in that moment, I knew it had to be the truth. He was an even bigger asshole than I remembered him being.

He finally turned to meet my gaze.

I looked at him, utterly stricken with shock before turning around and walking away as fast as I could.

I watched Mira rush off. It took only a second for me to realize I had fucked up. It took a couple seconds longer for my mind to kick into high gear and try to run after her; but I was stopped by Molly. I couldn’t leave her and now she was getting extremely fussy.

“Molly,” I said seriously, crouching down in front of her.

I had no effect on her as she continued twisting and turning her wrist, trying to escape from my grasp. I wondered if she wanted to run after Mira or if she just wanted to get carried to have a nap. Either way, Mira was gone but I was still determined to find her. I couldn’t leave things like that.

“We need to go, Molls.” Molly whined and muttered something; that was when I saw the tears well up in her eyes and I knew what was coming.

Please not now. I needed to get away from Dr. Killian and chase after Mira with the small hope that I could fix what I had royally screwed up. With no time or patience, I scooped up the protesting Molly.

“We’ll talk later.” I said curtly to Dr. Killian.

I turned on my heel and jogged off toward my car, screaming toddler in my arms and the bag I had packed for her bouncing against my thigh. I packed her into the car, throwing a soft fleece blanket over her and letting her cradle her doll in her arms. She promptly fell asleep in the car seat by the time I was buckled up and ready to go.

“Yes,” I whispered with joy, checking her one last time in my rearview mirror before peeling out of the parking lot.

For some reason the only place I could think to check for Mira was at her office. I had no clue why she might go there now, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to stop by. I drove to her office while fighting crosstown traffic, hell bent on not giving up. I thought of the way she reacted to me when I asked her to watch Molly and her reaction to what I had told Dr. Killian. All I could hope for was that everything wasn’t lost. I needed to fix things.

I turned into the parking lot, parked the car, and hastily grabbed Molly from the back seat. I just carried her because convincing her to walk would take too long. She was a bit subdued from feeling worn out. I walked fast until I reached the door to Mira’s office. I knocked, but there was no answer. I jiggled the door to no luck. I knocked louder, but still nothing.

I muttered a few curse words under my breath and carried Molly back to the car seat. I muttered a few more choice words when I realized I didn’t even know where Mira lived.

“Shit,” My eyes darted immediately to the rearview mirror to make sure Molly wasn’t listening. I racked my brain for answers. Her address had to be on one of the forms she signed, but I knew there was no way I was getting anything from Dr. Killian. I leaned my head back and sighed. There was only one person I could call.

I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket and opened up my old email account to fish out a number from my contacts, one I hadn’t called in years. I braced myself before hitting the call button. I had no idea how this conversation was going to go down, but I didn’t feel great about it. A few seconds later there was an answer.

I cleared my throat, “Hey Zak, uh, it’s me, Axel. Axel Montgomery?”

There was a moment of silence followed by a simple but dry, “Yeah?”

I counted my blessings. I was relieved that he hadn’t started off with a slew of cuss words. I couldn’t just jump into asking for him for his little sister’s address though.

“Hey man, look, I’m sorry.”

Zak laughed mockingly, “Of course you are now that you need something. Never thought you’d seek help from us commoners, huh?”

I let out a long, quiet breath. As annoying as it was, Zak had a point. When I thought of my past behavior I actually cringed; and then I realized I wouldn’t have had that type of reaction were it not for Mira’s influence. I turned to look back at Molly, but she was sleeping peacefully in my car seat, in the comfort of the air-conditioned car, so I had nothing to worry about.

“I can’t argue with you on that. I was an ass. I know. It took me a long time to even realize it. Too long actually. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. And yeah, I need something, but I’m not full of it.” I paused, trying to think of a way to get Zak to believe me. “Think about it, man. Would someone like me really call and say these things?”

I heard an audible sigh come through the phone. I knew I had at least gotten him to hear me out. “Probably not. You were a real son of a bitch but, from where I stand, not much has changed.”

“Guess not,” I said. I debated how much I should actually tell Zak. I had no clue if Mira had filled her brother in on all that had gone on between us. “Well, I hadn’t changed. But then I did something to make myself realize I needed to.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” I breathed out, the image of Mira glaring at me before she rushed away burned into my brain. “I’m finally realizing it’s not all about money and fame. There’s more to it, especially when dealing with people. There are those like my manager who see me and only care about dollar signs and then there are others who I need to treat better than I have been. But the most important of all are the people I love.”

“The people you love,” Zak repeated flatly.

“Yeah.” I looked in the rearview mirror at my sleeping daughter. A smile curled around the corners of my lips. “Money doesn't do shit when you fuck up and don't have the people you love in your life. I’m sorry if I wasn’t a good friend Zak. I miss hangin’ with you. You were the only person in my life that didn’t run around kissing my ass. You were genuine and that means something.”

“And this realization came suddenly?”

“Isn’t that how it happens though? I mean it started slowly, but the realization happened a little while ago.”

“I know about you and Mira.” Zak said in his same flat tone. My heart dropped a level.

“I figured she told you. I fucked up, man. I really like Miranda and I fucked up. I just need to talk to her. Can you give me her address so I can go apologize in person and set things right? I drove out to her office on the off chance I could find her, but she wasn’t there.”

Zak stayed quiet for a long time. I could only hope he was considering helping me out. I couldn’t have been more sincere. Now I was left clutching to the tiny chance that he’d forgive me for all the times I was an asshole in the past and give me the opportunity to set things right. There was nothing else I could do. I had never felt more helpless. All the times I had treated people badly in the past was finally catching up to me. Now all I could do was wait and hope Zak would show me some kind of forgiveness.

“She must mean a lot to you,” Zak finally said. He didn’t sound nearly as harsh or dry anymore.

“She does,” I admitted, my chest swelling with a deep breath.

“You know how I know? You finally called her Miranda instead of Randy.” The two of us busted out laughing.

“I like how that’s what really convinced you and not the whole pouring my heart out speech,” I laughed.

“Cheesy speeches can be ripped off from movies, but a detail like that requires some brains to pull off. And we all know you don’t have those, so you must be genuine.” Zak joked.

“Damn, man, pretty harsh,” I laughed. It was refreshing to be joking with Zak again. It felt like old times.

“My sis is gonna kill me, but here you go.”

As soon as he gave me the address I kicked my car into drive and was eager to hang up the phone. “I can’t thank you enough!”

“Axel!” Zak barked before I had a chance to end the call.

“Yeah?”

“You’ve always been the best at everything you do. So be the best for her. She deserves it.”

My heart sank and a lump lodged in my throat. His words hit me harder than any sprinting linebacker ever could.

“I will.”

I was lying in the middle of my living room floor with loud music blasting through the speakers I rarely used. Occasionally I sat up only enough to slurp more of the chocolate martini I was drinking, which had far more liquor than chocolate syrup.

I took another slurp, not giving a damn about moderation or decorum. I tried moderation, messed it up and got screwed over, and now I was done with everything. I needed to be done with everything for at least one night to move forward. I had to get it all out of my system before I went absolutely bonkers.

I sang along obnoxiously and rolled around a bit before I noticed my drink was running low. I pushed myself up off the floor and poured more. I was mid drink and knee deep in chocolate martinis when my intercom buzzer went off. I turned sharply to look at it, but then remembered I didn’t have one of those fancy video intercoms like Axel. I laughed before taking another huge gulp of my drink and stumbling over to push the talk button on the little white box.

“Who’s here?” I asked, not thinking that my voice probably wasn’t heard over the loud music. I was slightly drunk, or maybe a bit more than that, and decided to throw caution to the wind. There was only a handful of people who would be stopping by anyway; probably Shellsea. I pressed the button to let the mystery visitor in only for my intercom to buzz annoyingly less than a minute later.

“What the fuck!” I was already mad, but I smacked on the open button again, only for my intercom to buzz three times in a row. “Oh, come on!” I pushed the talk button again, “Stop fucking around! What do you think this is? Get a life, loser.” It was totally unlike me, but I had too many emotions and too much alcohol coursing through me to give a damn.

“Come meet me outside,” a loud voice came in over the little white speaker.

I froze, eyes wide. “It can’t be,” I mumbled. I stared at the intercom as if it would magically sprout a video feed and show me if it really was him standing outside. Then I got an idea. I was only on the third floor and I could see down to the building’s entrance form my bedroom window. In a flash I did an awkward run and stumble to my bedroom. I fidgeted with the window for a moment, before slinging it open and sticking my head outside.

“Axel?” I yelled out, peering down to the covered patio of my building’s entrance. Axel stepped back and looked up at me. Even though I knew it had to be him, my heart still lurched the moment I saw him. There he was, standing below my window. Even at home I couldn’t get away from him.

“Just give me three minutes, one chance,” he pleaded as he stared up at me.

My heart started to race and suddenly the liquor I had downed was gurgling inside my stomach.

“How the hell did you find me?” I asked with an awkward yell-whisper. I didn’t want to disturb any of my neighbors and yelling out the window would probably do just that.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said back with hands outstretched to his sides. He sounded genuine; it tugged at my heart and I hated it, but I couldn’t find it in myself to ignore him. “Can we talk?”

“I’m not coming down.” I said as I glared down at him. His shoulders dropped as he stared up at me with disbelief.

“How did you get my address?” I asked.

“Don’t kill Zak,” Axel said.

I glared at him and reached for my phone only to realize I had left it in my living room. “Mother fu...” My eyes widened and I looked around wildly for Molly, and then sighed in relief when I saw the precious little girl napping in the car with a running engine.

“Miranda,” Axel said.

“Oh, I’m going to kill him,” I interrupted, talking out loud more so than to Axel. “Once I sober up, I’m going to kill him.”

“I’m going to fix this for you,” Axel said loudly. He was trying to sound reassuring, but that only set me off further.

“Stop trying to fix me like I’m something you own!”

“I’m sorry! That’s not what I’m doing. I promise.”

“Oh, you promise? That must make it true!” I nearly clawed at the windowsill with clenched fists. I tried to regulate my breathing so I didn’t get too worked up. If I flew off the handle now it wouldn’t be any good. I looked back down at Axel; I didn’t know what nerve he had hit, but I was getting set off in ways I didn’t even know I was capable of.

“It is true,” he said calmly. “But I get if you don’t believe me. Look, Mira, I’m not trying to fix you. I’m trying to clean up the mess I helped create. I don’t want you to lose your livelihood on account of me. And I thought—” 

“Just shut it Axel. Give it a rest. You were always an ass to me and when I saw you standing outside my office that day I nearly had a panic attack. Then I got to know you again and I saw you with Molly and I thought maybe you had changed. But you haven’t. All you care about is your money and what you can buy with it. Well you can’t buy me! There’s more to life than that and some dumb jock like you will never understand that! Now can you please fuck-off and leave me alone.” I was so angry I was panting for breath.

Axel just looked up at me with his shoulders slumped and hurt in his eyes. I had gone too far and I instantly felt regret. But I didn’t have it in me to apologize. I couldn’t stand looking at him anymore, not because of how angry he made me, but because I was so ashamed of how cruel I just was.

I quickly ducked my head back into my bedroom and fell to the floor with tears in my eyes. I leaned my head against the wall and tried to take a deep breath in.

“Mira! Can we please just talk.” I heard Axel call out from the open window. “Can you give me a chance?” I didn’t dare poke my head back out. I just sat on the floor, trying to fight the tears welling up in my eyes.

“I’ll stay here for as long as it takes until you at least talk to me.” Axel called out again. For all he knew, I had already left.

I drew in another long breath as I tried to make sense of my mixed up emotions.

Molly was still sound asleep in the backseat of the car as I plopped down on the steps leading up to the building’s front door. I told Mira I was going to stay there until she came down to talk to me, but realistically I knew I only had until Molly woke up and started fussing with me.

I let out a long sigh as I cradled my head in my hands. Mira was right, for most of my life I had been a complete asshole. I expected so much out of others and I always thought money could buy me anything. I looked up to see Molly through the car window, sound asleep and cute as ever. She only reaffirmed how right Mira was about me. I could never buy the relationship I had with Molly and I could never buy the relationship I had with Mira either. And that’s what hurt the most. I had to make this right on my own. If only Mira would come down and actually talk to me.

My phone started to ring and shocked me out of my thoughts. I looked at it and instantly let out another long sigh. It was Larry and I knew exactly why he was calling. Having that conversation was the last thing I wanted to deal with, but I needed to make some moves to protect Mira above all.

“Hey Larry.”

“Axe. I heard what happened. I’m with the team manager and Dr. Killian. They want to have a conference call. They’ve already agreed not to record this since nobody wants this leaked to the press.” My heart dropped a little at the thought of talking to the team manager, Mr. Houston. But it needed to be done. “You sure you’re up for this?” Larry asked. I could hear the fear dripping off his every word. Whether or not I was up for it—he clearly wasn’t.

“Yea, this needs to be done.”

“Okay, I’m putting us on speaker phone.”

As soon as he turned the speaker phone on and everyone said their hellos Mr. Houston went straight to the point.

“I have to say Mr. Montgomery, I’m disappointed.”

“Hiring your girlfriend and engaging in intercourse on Razorsharks’ property is the kind of nepotism that’s a breach of contract.” Dr. Killian said. I could practically feel his smug and condescending tone over the phone. My gut wrenched with anger.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Mr. Houston said, “which is why we are reporting Ms. Bach for ethics violations and—”

“Let’s just cut to the chase gentleman.” I said, interrupting Mr. Houston.

“Axe maybe you should—”

“Not now Larry.” I barked before continuing. “Let’s stop beating around the bush so I can tell you two exactly how this is going to go down. You report anything about Ms. Bach and I walk off the team when I’m a free agent next season. Because really, what the fuck do you have on me? I’m an unmarried all-star professional football player. It would be odd if I wasn’t fucking my hot massage therapist. The press won’t give a fuck if they find out about that. But you guys on the other hand—you’ll have to explain how you fucked up the opportunity to have a once-in-a-generation-quarterback on your team. Who’s really going to look like the incompetent fuckwit if that happens. Explain that one to the owners Mr. Houston.

“As for you Dr. Killian, you can take your little video tape, your completely uncalled for witch hunt, and your ethics violation and shove up your arrogant-smug-ass. At the end of the day, you don’t put fans in the seats—I do. It would be wise of you to recognize that and start treating me and Ms. Bach with a little more respect. You guys can fine me or keep me benched for the rest of the season for all I care. But if I catch a whiff from either of you perusing any wronging done by Ms. Bach, I’ll be signing with another team faster than I can throw the football.”

As soon as I was done there was a long silence on the other end. Finally, Mr. Houston spoke up, “very well Mr. Montgomery, have it your way.” With that the conference call ended. I cradled my head in my hands again as I took a deep breath and tried to steady my nerves. Just as I was finally starting to calm back down I heard the front door to the building open up behind me.

“Axel?”

I turned around to see Mira standing in the doorway looking completely shocked.

My legs still felt a little wobbly and my eyes were probably bright red from crying.

“Why would you do that for me?” I asked, still in shock.

“Do what?” Axel asked as he stared up at me from the bottom of the steps.

“Put your neck on the line like that? Talking to your manager like that? For me?” I took a few steps down the stairs as I tried to make sense of the emotions coursing through my body.

“You heard that?”

“The window was open.” I pointed up above us. He looked up to see my curtains still blowing around from the night breeze.

“It was the right thing to do.” He said as his gaze fell to the ground. “I’ve thought a lot about what you said and you’re right. Too much of my life focused around money and who I could buy with it. But all that changed the moment I saw you and Molly at practice earlier. I didn’t see a babysitter. I didn’t see someone I paid to take care of my daughter. I saw two people I love having a wonderful time together.”

He was staring at me now with a glint in his eye.

“That was the moment I knew I had been living totally wrong. You’re the person I desperately want a chance to be with. I never meant to make you feel like anything less than that. You are an amazing, strong, and beautiful woman. You deserve the best and I only hope you’ll give me a chance to be the best man I can be for you.”

I swallowed hard against a dry throat and stood there on shaky feet. His words hit me like a freight train.  He stared right at me, eyes glinting from the building’s lights, shoulders slumped and completely vulnerable to me as he waited for me to say something.

All of my life I suspected there was a softer side to Axel’s gruff and sometimes rude exterior. Then I saw him with his daughter and I thought maybe a more loving side of him really did exist.

Now I knew it did.

I practically flew down the last few steps and into his embrace. His arm swung around my back and pulled me close. His scent, his arms, his touch—they all filled my world as his lips slammed into mine. I would have fallen over if he wasn’t holding me so tight. My eyes clamped shut as a tear rolled down my cheek. His hand cradled the back of my head as our kiss deepened. It felt like a million fireworks went off inside my body as tiny tingles fluttered down my back and radiated out my limbs.

He pulled away from me and flashed the biggest smile I had ever seen. This wasn’t his typical cocky smirk, it was a huge and genuine grin. Then he cocked his head to the side with a sigh.

“What?”

“Molly just woke up,” he said, nodding at the car just behind us. I couldn’t help but laugh as I saw her cute little face starting to light up.

“How’d you know?”

“I have a sixth sense with these sort of things.” He laughed as he broke away from me and headed toward the car. It took ten seconds before his little girl started waving her hands and kicking her feet.

I laughed, “Do you guys want to stay with me tonight?”

His face lit up with a huge smile, “That would be wonderful.”

He leaned in and gave me a sweet peck on the cheek before turning and heading to his car. He pulled the bag he originally packed for football practice toward him and rested it on the ground before unbuckling Molly. She was wide awake now with her usual jibber jabber.

“This isn’t home, daddy,” she said as he pulled her out of the car and into his arms. He laughed and shook his head before giving Molly a little bounce.

“You’re right.”

“Where are we?”

He nodded toward me. I was standing at the bottom of the steps with a wide grin spreading across my face. “My home,” I called out.

Molly clapped and cheered, “Yay! Are we going to play, Mee-nah?”

Both Axel and I busted out laughing at the way Molly called me “mee-nah,” but it was the most endearing thing I had ever heard. I felt like I could melt into a puddle right then and there.

“You ask a lot of questions,” I said through my laughter.

“She’s a curious one,” Axel said fondly, pushing his nose into Molly’s round cheek.

Molly huffed and pushed her dad’s face away “I don’t want to get boogies all over my face, daddy!”

There was more laughter before he finally picked up the bag from the floor and walked over to me. I let the two of them go inside first, making sure the lobby door closed securely behind us. I watched Molly playfully slap and run around Axels legs. He looked like a hulking redwood tree standing next to her.

My heart skipped and fluttered as I watched the two of them walk down the hallway. I felt like I was floating on clouds as a huge grin stretched across my face. Axel had come crashing out of the past and back into my life. Sure he was still the same dead sexy and sometimes crass man I remembered him being, but now there was something different about him. Now he looked like a man who knew how to love.

As I watched him playfully chase Molly down the hallway with the biggest and proudest grin I had ever seen on a man—

I knew I had found something truly special.

In my mind, it seems like yesterday when Axel came crashing back into my life. I can still feel that lump in my throat when I saw him rattling my tiny office door. Now everything is different. Axel isn’t just my teenage crush; now he’s the man who loves me.

I no longer have a tiny office out in the suburbs. Now I have a new office. It’s bright and cheerful and far from being out in the middle of nowhere. With Axel’s help, it’s become a booming success. It isn’t out of the ordinary to see a celebrity or two walking in and out of our doors.

Shellsea is leading a yoga stretching class for athletes in the main studio. She’s still into her health nut, pure mind and body lifestyle, but now she doesn’t guilt me quite as much. She also stays away from shitty men like Jude. Instead she says things like, “Men like that are only around to pollute my soul and I refuse to let that happen again.” She always reminds me of how happy she is now that she’s doing the kind of work she firmly believes in.

Axel is in the main office on the phone while I’m completing some paperwork. He hangs up the phone and turns to me, “Think you can handle another injured football player?”

I laugh, “My appointment books are full for weeks. I think you are the one who is supposed to know that.” Ever since my reputation began to spread like wildfire, more and more clients have started to pour in. For a moment there it seemed like we weren’t going to be able to keep up with all of them. Plus, there is the added benefit of having Axel ‘The Axe’ as a training consultant. With that, my reputation, and our unique packages combined, we have managed to make this the hottest rehab facility in town.

“I do know, but that’s why I’m asking.” He teases me, “I think you can handle it. You’re a tough old bat.”

I scoff at him. “Excuse me, I’m far from being an ‘old bat’ I will have you know.”

Axel drops his voice, “Oh that I know.”

I shoot him a look before getting back to my paperwork; I know better than to indulge in this sort of behavior. Still, I can’t help but be amused by him. I stretch my hands out to take a rest from scribbling on the paperwork and take a moment to look at the diamond that sparkles on my finger. It’s big and beautiful, but it does tend to get in the way of my massages, so I wear it on my necklace a lot.

Axel never cares when I take it off, he just says, “That way it’s closer to your heart.”

I always make a show of rolling my eyes and telling him he needs to stop watching bad romantic comedies but, deep down, I love it. Seeing a little sappiness come from such a hulking manly-man always makes my heart melt.

“So you’ll take the injured football player then?”

“Sure,” I shrug. What’s one more client, anyway? I stand up and stretch, looking over at Axel.

“We're packed to the point of needing a waitlist,” he says.

“This is all happening so fast. It feels so reckless.”

Axel stands up and walks over to place his hands on my hips. “Well, it’s a good thing you’re at your best when you don’t hold back.”

I smile as he plants a kiss on me.

“I love you,” he says, lips brushing mine.

“I love you too.”

He gives me a tight hug and I shut my eyes, taking just a second to remember everything is exactly as it should be.

The End

Thank You so Much for Reading!