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INTERNATIONAL Day OF SELF-LOVE

SANAH JIVANI

I would like to tell you that the toughest day of my life began the morning I woke up to find all my hair on my pillow. But that was not really the toughest day of my life.

It was definitely soul-crushing, though—a sight I’ll never forget. The mere thought of getting out of bed overwhelmed me. Even more terrifying was the idea of looking at myself in the mirror. When I finally did muster the strength to face the mirror, I could barely stand, let alone breathe. Fear and self-hatred immediately filled my being.

Will I ever be able to truly love myself again?

It was a long time before I could answer that, but I was soon diagnosed with alopecia universalis, an autoimmune condition that causes complete hair loss. My immediate reaction was to rush out and purchase a wig to hide the condition. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to see what I saw in the mirror that morning.

When I walked into school for the first time after my diagnosis, it seemed rumors instantly began to spread about why I was wearing a wig. The bullying was endless, cruel and, well, original. From gum in my wig to a note in my locker with the words 50 Ways to Go Kill Yourself, I was heartbroken in every way. Some kids even created an online page to make fun of me, posting status updates with still more guesses as to why I was wearing a wig.

More and more days stood in as candidates for Worst Day Ever until one particular afternoon, by chance, I noticed something that made my bleak day slightly better. All this time, people had been saying mean things to me, but the things I said to myself were ten times worse. Every day I would come home, look in the mirror, and add to the bullying that was already going on.

Was self-bullying a real thing? Apparently for me, it was. In that moment of realization, I knew the first step in getting past my insecurity was learning to be kinder to myself. For starters, I consciously looked for ways to practice self-love and self-care. The investment in myself, by myself slowly but surely paid off. Once I learned to love and stand up for myself, the bullying really died down. My worth had nothing to do with what hair was on my head, and in a way, the fact that I had lived through such a hard passage and was dealing with the reality of my diagnosis made me feel bravely beautiful for who I am as a strong person. With that understanding, finally, I could feel at peace with myself, and it was a joy I had never before experienced.

Then, another powerful realization struck me: I wanted to share this joy with others. Though I wasn’t sure how, I had a quirky idea that was hard to shake. What if, I wondered, there was a day where people could truly appreciate themselves? What if there was a day when we did not have to feel tied down by insecurities? What if there was a day that had nothing to do with other people validating us but everything to do with our own self-validation?

With those thoughts, I developed the framework for the International Day of Self-Love—a day that lets us feel free to be ourselves. I decided to designate the celebration to be held on February 13, the day before Valentine’s Day; after all, it’s important to love and appreciate you before investing in others.

Since developing the concept in 2011, this day has spread to more than a hundred schools in twenty-eight countries, reaching more than fifty thousand students. Schools that participate in the International Day of Self-Love receive free curriculum materials to help with building the skills of loving oneself. Often for the first time, students are taught the important practices of self-love and self-care.

In 2018, a school in Bloomington, Illinois, decided to dress in “YOU-niforms”—plain white shirts on which students wrote an insecurity. Throughout the day, their peers wrote kind comments on their shirts to help them accept and embrace the quality they feel most insecure about. How amazing and inspiring. A school in Westerville, Ohio, decided that their theme one year was “Grow in Confidence.” They crafted a large tree in the cafeteria, where each leaf symbolized a strength of a student.

A school in New York City decided to put an encouraging sticky note on each door, locker, window, and wall. They wanted to make sure students felt encouraged and inspired in every way.

How can I begin to decide what has been the best day of my life so far? The contest will be between last year’s International Day of Self-Love and next year’s. I only hope it continues to grow every year, ultimately becoming a holiday that will someday be printed on every calendar around the globe.

Why not?

Never second-guess the power of an idea that channels kindness.

When we talk about kindness, we often forget to talk about kindness to ourselves. For me, being kind to myself includes cooking, meditating, playing with my dogs, and being surrounded by friends and family. It’s not easy to learn how to be kind to yourself and to find a habit of self-love, and I applaud Sanah for learning to love herself. You are worthy of love, Sanah. We all are. We are all beautiful inside and out, and I encourage you to take a moment to write three things you love about yourself in the space below, and if you’d like to support Sanah in her mission to spread self-love, visit International Natural Day.