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KINDNESS COSTS NOTHING
SARAH RYAN
Imagine you’re going through a rough time, walking down a dark alley in a strange city, late at night, with not one light on to make you feel a little less desperate and alone. And then imagine how you would feel if you turned a corner and saw a well-lit storefront with a welcome sign and friendly-looking faces inside. They might be strangers, but wouldn’t it ease some of your distress to see a smile or two, or just to read a sign that lets you know you won’t be turned away?
In 2011, fourteen-year-old Carrie Shade was thinking along those lines when she decided to create an online movement to encourage kindness and perhaps inspire fellow teens and young adults to identify themselves as being willing to be supportive and helpful of anyone going through a rough time. She thought in particular about mental illness and the level of loneliness and desperation that could lead a person to take their own life.
How powerful can mere kindness be? For Carrie, the answer is that it’s more powerful than we often acknowledge. Her feeling is that small acts can have a greater impact than grand gestures.
“I make an effort to smile at people as much as I can, even if I don’t know them well or really at all,” she says. “People who are struggling are not worth any less. It’s important to take care of others—and yourself—whenever necessary. Just showing a little compassion for other people can do wonders.”
Fourteen years of age might seem too young to launch a movement that starts small and grows into something much larger, but Carrie had deeply held personal reasons for wanting to try: She had lost her best friend to suicide. Her way of grieving was by learning all she could about mental illness and the causes of suicide. Believing that everyone has the power to make a difference, Carrie established the Against Suicide movement. As a young mental health advocate, she feels uniquely positioned to encourage peers to become informed about how they, too, can help others seriously struggling to seek professional treatment.
Over the years, Carrie has found that creating support for openly talking about mental health issues goes a long way in tackling the social stigma that prevents people from seeking help when they are most in need. “Anyone can be affected by a mental illness, either their own or that of someone they love,” she says.
When Carrie made the decision to mount her campaign for mental health as a virtual movement without a brick-and-mortar counterpart, there was no one main reason. She just wanted to put something positive into the world, and she never actually expected it to take off the way it did. For her, Twitter was “like a blank canvas” where she could create and advocate for a cause she believes in.
When many teens and young adults in the community and elsewhere, via social media, chose to be a light in the darkness and to identify themselves as being willing to welcome those looking for support, the movement took off dramatically, eventually winning the Shorty Award for Best in Activism in 2013 and 2014. This award recognized Carrie and her movement for starting social media campaigns such as #ToThoseWhoNeedIt, #StayingClean, and #ProjectLG.
Stories like Sarah’s highlight the bravery it takes to ask for help. If someone hasn’t told you yet today, please let me be the first and repeat these words to you: You matter, and we need you here, friend. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal ideation, please reach out to someone you trust. It might be one of the hardest things you ever do, but it will also be one of the bravest. Check out Against Suicide on Twitter; and please reach out to Crisis Text Hotline to talk to, message, or chat with a trained crisis counselor for 24-7 assistance, or visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention to learn more about the signs and symptoms of suicidal ideation.
The latter hashtag stands for Project Life Guard, which is an online support group that stemmed from wanting to show compassion online. It aims to help people get through the hardest parts of their lives. To participate, people just write #ProjectLG in their social media bios, which shows others they are there to help.
Against Suicide has also opened a small online merchandise store. The shirts are meant to show the world that people shouldn’t be afraid to talk about depression and that all mental illness should be taken seriously.
Through social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram, this movement has reached more than 250,000 people. Over the years, the overall message has stayed the same, but the tone has shifted. Carrie says that it has “transformed from cheesy and cute inspirational quotes … to relatable messages that will leave you thinking for a while.”
Now in her early twenties, Carrie says, “While it’s important to remember that mental illnesses can’t simply be cured by spreading positivity, being nice to people can make someone’s bad days more bearable.”
Putting out the welcome sign, offering a smile, or using a #hashtag that lets other users know you have prioritized their well-being can absolutely make a huge difference. How we treat others on social media, of course, has a corollary in real life. Just showing a little compassion is one of those small acts of great kindness that can change someone else’s life—and costs nothing to give.