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MORE THAN JUST A BLANKET
THERESA STIER
How do we keep the memories alive of someone who has passed away, someone who loved and protected us with every fiber of their being? How do we keep their comfort and support in our daily lives and even share some of it with others? How do we grapple with losing someone so completely beloved to suicide?
Those aren’t easy questions to answer. That’s what happened to three sisters—Angela, Christina, and Mia Varney—whose mother, Annie, died by suicide at a young age after struggling with debilitating depression.
The heartbroken daughters comforted one another in their grief, and then, together, came up with a way to keep their mom’s memory alive: by making Annie’s Kindness Blankets. The idea was a “pay-it-forward kindness campaign” created by them, three young girls “dedicated to #BeTheVoice and help stop the stigma around depression and suicide.” Their purpose was to create blankets as everlasting hugs for anyone in need, to let others know they were never alone.
Taking turns telling their story, they recalled how the idea came about:
“Whenever we were sad or having a difficult day, or even when we were so happy, a hug from our mom would instantly improve our day. Her hug was warm, generous, and heartfelt. We decided blankets were the best way to reproduce the essence of a hug from her. It made sense to us, to pass along as many of these hugs as possible to people all over. A hug that doesn’t judge, doesn’t let go. It is comfort or joy when you need it. All made with unconditional love.”
We all need hugs in life, especially through the hard, bleaker passages. What better way to do that than wrapping yourself in a blanket when no one is around? You might wonder how these blankets provide kindness or how they’re any different from a blanket you could get at a store. These blankets are unique because they’ve been created by the daughters of Annie—along with help from the girls’ aunt, cousin, and community—each of whom has sewn a message of kindness of heart into the blanket, each of whom feels your pain and your loss and is there for you.
Annie’s daughters understand the journey of grief:
“People deal with the loss of a loved one differently from one another. Some deny, some cry until they are numb, some visit the place of burial, some silently and emotionally shut down. This was something so tragic and so horrible that happened to our family, we needed a ray of light to help heal our hearts. When our mom passed, we were lost—we were living in a haze. Nothing made sense and the world seemed chaotic. We needed something to calm our souls. To give to others to let them know that they are never alone. We wanted others to remember that there are kind people in this world who truly care. This is what we chose to do, to help keep peace in our broken hearts.”
Within a year, the Varney sisters had given out well over 1,100 blankets, and had more than sixty people helping to create these blankets—adding to the warmth and healing power of blankets that bring people together from the moment they are made to the moment they are delivered. How amazing is that?
What a beautiful way to keep Annie’s memory alive and to share warmth and connection with so many others. I believe that the best type of kindness is the one that inspires kindness in others—and by sharing the blankets, giving that warm hug when someone feels alone, the three of you are catalysts for kindness. You are making a huge difference and realizing Annie’s hope that people know that they are never alone. If you want to help make blankets or if you need a blanket (as we all do sometimes), please check out Annie’s Kindness Blankets.
The ability to keep Annie’s memory alive is profoundly demonstrated in this pay-it-forward campaign. And, as they describe it, the sisters feel her presence daily, connecting them to others who are doing healing work:
“Whenever we reach out and ask for help, we can’t explain the amount of responses we get in return. We believe that the passing of our mom has directly affected thousands of lives. We believe that she has helped us to help others understand that you may be the most incredible, beautiful, kindest soul on this planet and have so many love you, and still feel so alone inside. She, along with our community, has helped us change the stigma of depression, mental illness, and suicide. They have teamed up with us in so many ways to ensure others know that they are never alone. They have been a lifeline to us.”
These girls are not only remembering their mother in such a beautiful way; they are helping others in the process. And that, they believe, is exactly what Annie would have had them do—to #BeTheVoice of kindness.