As Matt and I stare in terror at a pair of giant legs, Abbey is doing some serious legwork of her own.

‘We’ll never find it!’ says Abbey.

‘I found it!’ says Nan.

‘You found the list of things you have to return to the evil villain or else they’ll destroy this house, our town, our planet and our entire dimension?’ asks Abbey.

‘No, Dr Re-cap. My yoga mat. I need to de-stress. I’ve been the victim of a vicious ferret napping.’

‘Nan! Now is not the time for down-face dogs. Didn’t you say the Quantum Flush Disrupter would only hold the Lootrino Particle Field for a short time?’

‘Well, well, you sure pick up the lingo quickly,’ says Nan, striking a pose and letting out a cheeky fart. ‘Oops. Namaste.’

Yoga always makes Nan toot.^*

‘Nan! Focus! An evil talking toilet is threatening to flush our dimension down a Brown Hole. And the only way we can save EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE is to return all the things you apparently stole!’

Abbey takes a breath.

‘The toilet said it sent you a list of final demands. Where is that list?’

‘Try behind the couch. When I lose stuff that’s always the first place I look.’

Abbey looks behind the couch and pulls out a bedazzled baseball cap and a scuffed golden coin. It looks like some kind of award.

‘Oh, I’ve been looking for that!’ says Nan, pulling on the hat and chucking the coin over her shoulder.

‘Nan . . .’

‘Abbey, I’m a top-secret interdimensional scientist and treasurer of the Dunedoo Bowls Club, I can manage finding a few bits of paper.’

But instead of searching, Nan slumps into the couch.

‘Oh, but how can I concentrate on anything when my darling Vanessa de Floof has been taken hostage by a toilet-dwelling fiend!’ she wails.

‘Also Rich and Matt are trapped in another dimension . . .’ says Abbey.

‘Oh, yes. Also them,’ says Nan.

Rude!

‘Nan, we need the list. This is my final demand for the . . . final demands!’

‘Wait,’ says Abbey. ‘What’s that on the bottom of the ferret cage?’

‘Sorry about that. It’s a mess. It’s Richard’s turn to clean it out,’ Nan says.

It isn’t! It’s Matt’s!

‘Ah ha! I know where the list is. Step aside, Nan,’ she says, grabbing a roll of sticky tape. ‘I have my scrapbooking badge.’

Abbey picks up a handful of the shredded paper and begins to piece it together.

‘Nice one,’ says Nan. She crouches into another yoga pose.

‘Namaste,’ she says.

Abbey holds up a page of taped-together strips. It says:

‘Eureka!’ Abbey exclaims.

‘I do rather, don’t I?’ says Nan with a sniff.

 

 

^* When Matt joins in with Nan’s yoga session, it sounds like two bullfrogs learning the trombone.