AFFORMATIONS ON LOVE AND INTIMACY
“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
— LILY TOMLIN
During one of our live seminars in Denver, something happened to a young woman in our audience. She was attractive, intelligent, and caring, so I noticed that people were naturally drawn to her.
Yet when I asked her to answer questions about her opinion of herself and her worth in relationships, she burst into tears! After having gone through a devastating divorce and other unsuccessful relationships, her thoughts for future love were almost hopeless.
After she learned about Afformations, she realized she was unknowingly asking disempowering questions like: Why do I keep failing at love? Why does love hurt so much? Why am I unlovable? Why haven’t I found the man of my dreams? and Why am I not worthy of the love I desire?
What do you think her life looked like? Exactly: her life had become the literal embodiment of her disempowering Afformations. Her subconscious questions had formed a life where she had no confidence in her ability to love and be loved. She began to think that maybe there was no such thing as true, lasting love. It was the definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Less than 90 days after the seminar, she called our offices, so excited she could hardly breathe! After she caught her breath, she told me that my seminar had been the turning point in her life—because for the first time, she saw that she was asking the wrong questions, and they were ruining her life.
Once she understood the true power of Afformations, she immediately stopped asking disempowering questions and began using a single empowering Afformation that changed her life: Why do I have the most incredibly loving relationship with the man of my dreams?
The Afformation she began using was, Why do I have the most incredibly loving relationship with the man of my dreams?
As this woman started asking her new Afformation, her mind’s automatic search function began to form new patterns. She started to see things differently. She realized that she’d been stopping herself from being loved because of the negative, disempowering questions she’d been unknowingly asking herself.
She decided to take a leap of faith. Then she took action! Her new Afformation allowed her to open her mind and heart to the possibility of true love.
She took a risk, opened her heart to love again, and met the man she eventually married—all because she dared to ask herself a new question and take action!
There are three distinct phases of love: your inner beliefs about love; the process of finding the right person for you; and maintaining a healthy, intimate relationship with your significant other. If you are holding on to disempowering beliefs in any of these phases, your intimate relationships will inevitably suffer.
For example, let’s say you’re holding on to disempowering beliefs about love, like the young woman in my seminar. If this is the case, it’s going to be very hard for you to find the right person for you until you change those beliefs.
Or, what if you unconsciously believe that you can’t be in a happy, long-term relationship with another person? If this is true, then even if you do find the right person for you, you’ll probably find ways to sabotage the relationship—even though you won’t realize why you’re doing it.
I’ve given you empowering Afformations for each phase of love, because I want you to find the happiness and love you deserve in relationships. Yes, it’s true: love makes everything better. But its absence can make life seem awfully empty.
How to Find Love Right Where You Are
If you find yourself looking for love in all the wrong places, the reason is because you are asking the wrong questions, holding on to the wrong beliefs, or taking the wrong actions (or none at all). Conversely, if you’re unhappy in your relationship with your significant other, you’re unknowingly asking disempowering Afformations that are causing you to focus on the negative rather than the positive—and on what you can’t do and don’t have, rather than what you can do and do have.
As I’ve said throughout this book, and as the greatest teachers in history have taught us, what we focus on grows. Use these Afformations on love to refocus your mind on the gifts of love that you have, and the gift of love that you are.