IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER AGAIN
If I had my life to live over, I’d dare to make more mistakes.
I’d risk more, go out on a limb. I’d take longer walks, feed the ducks in the park.
I’d wear thicker socks, and eat more ice cream.
More ice cream—and a better brand of ice cream.
With a higher fat count.
Gourmet ice cream.
In fact, I would stick mostly to gelatos.
I would notice every bird and give it a name,
and write that name in a tiny notebook.
But let me return to the issue of ice cream.
I wouldn’t confine myself
to national brands.
I would travel the countryside eating the regional equivalent of premium ice creams.
And if I were eating ice cream with you, I would steal yours when you looked away.
If you never looked away, I would badger you through the entire feast—
“Are you going to finish that? Are you done? I’ll finish it if you don’t.”
Until you gave in.
For, you see, I have been one of those people who eats an entire box of “lite” ice cream
with fewer calories!
Who orders three scoops of ice cream and says, “Make one of them sorbet!”
Who offers to share the “death by chocolate” dessert.
I have even eaten an entire box of “dietetic” ice cream sandwiches
in one sitting.
What was I thinking? I should have just eaten the regular kind of ice cream sandwiches. I have even eaten popsicles when there was a Häagen-Dazs retail outlet nearby.
I did that twice.
Believe me, I remember.
But if I had to do it all over again,
I would eat even more.
And I can’t restate this enough:
A higher fat count.
In fact, forget that stuff I said at the top about walking in the park
and the bird-naming dealy.
If I had my life to live over again, I would focus on the getting and eating of ice cream.