TABLE OF CONTENTS

Kamikaze

Brilliant Ideas

Auditions, the Universe, and Other Whatnot

Memorizing Porn

Turd in the Punchbowl

Freakin’ Fabulous, The Sitcom

The Switch

Clinton for President!

You Young, Me Restless

Textbook Penis

Stockholm Syndrome

The Way It Went

I’m Waiting

Your a Psychopath

Salad Days

Rich and Famous

Afterword

Acknowledgments

About Clinton Kelly