Chapter 7

Getting to Know You:Making Small Talk

In This Chapter

Exchanging friendly banter with someone you just met

Yakking on the job

Sharing information about your home

Small talk can really break the ice when you’re interacting with someone you’ve just met or barely know. It’s how you get to know someone, have a brief chat with the man sitting next to you on the plane, or get acquainted with the folks you’ll be working with. This chapter helps you master a few key phrases and questions you can use to establish a relationship.

Xiánliáo 闲聊 (閒聊) (shyan-lyaow) means small talk in Chinese. Xiántán 闲谈 (閒談) (shyan-tahn) is to chat. Either term does the trick.

Establishing a Connection

A surefire way of initiating a conversation is to ask someone a question. Here are some basic question words to keep in mind as you approach the moment of acquaintance:

Duō jiǔ? 多久? (dwaw jyoe?) (For how long?)

Shéi? 谁? (誰?) (shay?) (Who?)

Shénme? 什么? (甚麼?) (shummuh?) (What?)

Shénme shíhòu? 什么时候? (甚麼時候?) (shummuh shir-ho?) (When?)

Wèishénme? 为什么? (為甚麼?) (way-shummuh?) (Why?)

Zài nǎr? 在哪儿? (在哪兒?) (dzye nar?) (Where?)

Zěnme? 怎么? (怎麼?) (dzummuh?) (How?)

Here are a few examples of how to use these question words in simple sentences; sometimes you can also use some of the words on their own, just as in English:

Cèsuǒ zài nǎr? 厕所在哪儿? (廁所在哪兒?) (tsuh-swaw dzye nar?) (Where’s the bathroom?)

Jǐ diǎn zhōng? 几点钟? (幾點鐘?) (jee dyan joong?) (What time is it?)

Nǐ shénme shíhòu chī fàn? 你什么时候吃饭? (你甚麼時候吃飯?) (nee shummuh shir-ho chir fahn?) (When do you eat?)

Nǐ wèishénme yào qù Zhōngguó? 你为什么要去中国? (你為甚麼要去中國?) (nee way-shummuh yaow chyew joong-gwaw?) (Why do you want to go to China?)

Nǐ yào shénme? 你要什么? (你要甚麼?) (nee yaow shummuh?) (What would you like?)

Nǐ zěnme yàng? 你怎么样? (你怎麼樣?) (nee dzummuh yahng?) (How’s it going?)

Nǐ yǐ jīng zài zhèr duō jiǔ le? 你已经在这儿多久了? (你已經在這兒多久了?) (nee ee-jeeng dzye jar dwaw jyoe luh?) (How long have you been here already?)

Tā shì shéi? 他/她是谁? (他/她是誰?) (tah shir shay?) (Who is he/she?)

Xiànzài jǐ diǎn zhōng? 现在几点钟? (現在幾點鐘?) (shyan-dzye jee dyan joong?) (What time is it now?)

You can also use the following responses to the questions in the preceding list if someone happens to approach you. These statements are the basics of small talk and really come in handy when you’re learning a foreign language:

Duìbùqǐ. 对不起. (對不起.) (dway-boo-chee.) (Excuse me.)

Hěn bàoqiàn. 很抱歉. (hun baow-chyan.) (I’m so sorry.)

Wǒ bùdǒng. 我不懂. (waw boo-doong.) (I don’t understand.)

Wǒ búrènshi tā. 我不认识他/她. (我不認識他/她.) (waw boo-run-shir tah.) (I don’t know him/her.)

Wǒ bùzhī dào. 我不知道. (waw boo-jir daow.) (I don’t know.)

Talkin’ the Talk

Beverly doesn’t have a watch and wants to know what time it is. She asks a man on the street. (Track 8)

Beverly:

Duìbùqǐ. Qǐngwèn, xiànzài jǐdiǎn zhōng?

dway-boo-chee. cheeng-one, shyan-dzye jee-dyan joong?

Excuse me. May I ask what time it is?

Man:

Xiànzài yī diǎn bàn.

shyan-dzye ee dyan bahn.

It’s 1:30.

Beverly:

Hǎo. Xièxiè nǐ.

how. shyeh-shyeh nee.

Great. Thank you.

Man:

Bú kèqì.

boo kuh-chee.

You’re welcome.

Beverly:

Máfán nǐ, sì lù chēzhàn zài nǎr?

mah-fahn nee, suh loo chuh-jahn dzye nar?

Sorry to trouble you again, but where’s the #4 bus stop?

Man:

Chēzhàn jiù zài nàr.

chuh-jahn jyoe dzye nar.

The bus stop is just over there.

Beverly:

Hǎo. Xièxiè.

how. shyeh-shyeh.

Okay. Thanks.

Man:

Méi wèntí.

may one-tee.

No problem.

Posing simple introductory questions

The following is a list of simple questions you can use when you meet people. (To find out how to respond, or to talk about yourself, flip to Chapter 4.)

Nǐ huì jiǎng Zhōngwén ma? 你会讲中文吗? (你會講中文嗎?) (nee hway jiahng joong-one mah?) (Do you speak Chinese?)

Nǐ jiào shénme míngzi? 你叫什么名字? (你叫甚麼名字?) (nee jyaow shummuh meeng-dzuh?) (What’s your name?)

Nǐ jiéhūn le méiyǒu? 你结婚了没有? (你結婚了沒有?) (nee jyeh-hwun luh mayo?) (Are you married?)

Nǐ niánjì duō dà? 你年纪多大? (你年紀多大?) (nee nyan-jee dwaw dah?) (How old are you?)

Nǐ shénme shíhòu zǒu? 你什么时候走? (你甚麼時候走?) (nee shummuh shir-ho dzoe?) (When are you leaving?)

Nǐ xǐhuān kàn diànyǐng ma? 你喜欢看电影吗? (你喜歡看電影嗎?) (nee she-hwahn kahn dyan-yeeng mah?) (Do you like to see movies?)

Nǐ yǒu háizi ma? 你有孩子吗? (你有孩子嗎?) (nee yo hi-dzuh mah?) (Do you have children?)

Nǐ zhù zài nǎr? 你住在哪儿? (你主在哪兒?) (nee joo dzye nar?) (Where do you live?)

Nǐ zuò shénme gōngzuò? 你做什么工作? (你做甚麼工作?) (nee dzwaw shummuh goong-dzwaw?) (What kind of work do you do?)

Chatting about family

If you want to talk about your family when answering questions or making small talk, you need to know these common words:

àirén 爱人 (愛人) (eye-run) (spouse [used mostly in mainland China])

dìdì 弟弟 (dee-dee) (younger brother)

érzi 儿子 (兒子) (are-dzuh) (son)

fùmǔ 父母 (foo-moo) (parents)

fùqīn 父亲 (父親) (foo-cheen) (father)

gēgē 哥哥 (guh-guh) (older brother)

háizi 孩子 (hi-dzuh) (children)

jiějiě 姐姐 (jyeh-jyeh) (older sister)

jiěmèi 姐妹 (jyeh-may) (sisters)

mèimèi 妹妹 (may-may) (younger sister)

mǔqīn 母亲 (母親) (moo-cheen) (mother)

nǚ’ér 女儿 (女兒) (nyew-are) (daughter)

qīzi 妻子 (chee-dzuh) (wife)

sūnnǚ 孙女 (swun-nyew) (granddaughter)

sūnzi 孙子 (swun-dzuh) (grandson)

tàitài 太太 (tye-tye) (wife [used mostly in Taiwan])

wàigōng 外公 (wye-goong) (maternal grandfather)

wàipó 外婆 (wye-paw) (maternal grandmother)

xiōngdì 兄弟 (shyoong-dee) (brothers)

xiōngdì jiěmèi 兄弟姐妹 (shyoong-dee jyeh-may) (siblings)

zhàngfu 丈夫 (jahng-foo) (husband)

zǔfù 祖父 (dzoo-foo) (paternal grandfather)

zǔmǔ 祖母 (dzoo-moo) (paternal grandmother)

Talkin’ the Talk

Deborah meets her daughter’s classmate, Samantha, and asks about Samantha’s family.

Deborah:

Samantha, nǐ yǒu méiyǒu xiōngdì jiěmèi?

Samantha, nee yo mayo shyoong-dee jyeh-may?

Samantha, do you have any brothers or sisters?

Samantha:

Wǒ yǒu yíge jiějie.

waw yo ee-guh jyeh-jyeh.

I have an older sister.

Deborah:

Tā yě huì jiǎng Zhōngwén ma?

tah yeah hway jyahng joong-one-mah?

Can she also speak Chinese?

Samantha:

Búhuì. Tā zhǐ huì Yīngyǔ.

boo-hway. tah jir hway eeng-yew.

No. She only speaks English.

Deborah:

Nǐde fùmǔ zhù zài nǎr?

nee-duh foo-moo joo dzye nar?

Where do your parents live?

Samantha:

Wǒmen dōu zhù zài Běijīng. Wǒ bàba shì wàijiāoguān.

waw-mun doe joo dzye bay-jeeng. waw bah-bah shir why-jyaow-gwan.

We all live in Beijing. My father is a diplomat.

Deborah:

Nà tài hǎo le.

nah tye how luh.

That’s great.

Making Small Talk on the Job

The kind of job you have can say plenty about you. It can also be a great topic of conversation or spice up an otherwise-dull exchange. To ask someone about his or her gōngzuò 工作 (goong-dzwaw) (work), you can say Nǐ zuò shénme gōngzuò? 你做什么工作? (你做甚麼工作?) (nee dzwaw shummuh goong-dzwaw?) (What kind of work do you do?) You may even try to guess and say, for example, Nǐ shì lǎoshī ma? 你是老师吗? (你是老師嗎?) (nee shir laow-shir mah?) (Are you a teacher?)

The following are some occupations you or the person you’re talking with may hold:

biānjí 编辑 (編輯) (byan-jee) (editor)

cáiféng 裁缝 (裁縫) (tsye-fung) (tailor)

chéngwùyuán 乘务员 (乘務員) (chuhng-woo-ywan) (flight attendant)

chūnàyuán 出纳员 (出納員) (choo-nah-ywan) (bank teller)

diàngōng 电工 (電工) (dyan-goong) (electrician)

fēixíngyuán 飞行员 (飛行員) (fay-sheeng-ywan) (pilot)

hǎiguān guānyuán 海关官员 (海關官員) (hi-gwan gwan-ywan) (customs agent)

hùshì 护士 (護士) (who-shir) (nurse)

jiàoshòu 教授 (jyaow-show) (professor)

jiēxiànyuán 接线员 (接線員) (jyeh-shyan-ywan) (telephone operator)

kèfáng fúwùyuán 客房服务员 (客房服務員) (kuh-fahng foo-woo-ywan) (housekeeper)

kuàijì 会计 (會計) (kwye-jee) (accountant)

lǎoshī 老师 (老師) (laow-shir) (teacher)

lièchēyuán 列车员 (列車員) (lyeh-chuh-ywan) (train conductor)

lǜshī 律师 (律師) (lyew-shir) (lawyer)

qiántái fúwùyuán 前台服务员 (前台服務員) (chyan-tye foo-woo-ywan) (receptionist)

shuǐnuǎngōng 水暖工 (shway-nwan-goong) (plumber)

yǎnyuán 演员 (演員) (yan-ywan) (actor)

yī shēng 医生 (醫生) (ee-shung) (doctor)

yóudìyuán 邮递员 (郵遞員) (yo-dee-ywan) (mail carrier)

zhǔguǎn 主管 (joo-gwan) (CEO)

The following are some useful job terms and job-related expressions:

bàn rì gōngzuò 半日工作 (bahn ir goong-dzwaw) (part-time work)

gùyuán 雇员 (僱員) (goo-ywan) (employee)

gùzhǔ 雇主 (goo-joo) (employer)

jīnglǐ 经理 (經理) (jeeng-lee) (manager)

miànshì 面试 (面試) (myan-shir) (interview)

quán rì gōngzuò 全日工作 (chwan ir goong-dzwaw) (full-time work)

shī yè 失业 (失業) (shir-yeh) (unemployed)

In China, your dānwèi 单位 (單位) (dahn-way) (work unit) is an important part of your life. (This term refers to your place of work, which can be anywhere in the country. Your dānwèi is the group that’s responsible for both taking care of you and being responsible for any missteps you happen to make.) In fact, when people ask you to identify yourself over the phone, they often say Nǐ nǎr? 你哪儿? (你哪兒?) (nee nar?) (Literally: Where are you from?) to find out what dānwèi you belong to. Under Chairman Mao Zedong (the leader of the Chinese Communist Party, who founded the People’s Republic of China in 1949), people were assigned jobs right out of high school and didn’t even think of marrying until they knew the location of their assignment. A man could’ve been given a job in the northern hinterlands of China, and his fiancée could’ve been sent south — only to see each other once a year during the Chinese New Year. The dānwèi continues to provide housing for its employees and also enforces government policies, such as the one-child-per-family policy. As recently as 2003, you needed the unit’s permission to get married, have a child, or receive any government benefits.

Talkin’ the Talk

Yáng and Xiǎo Liú discuss their respective professions, which are quite different from each other. Xiǎo Liú is a nurse in a city located in Henan Province, not far from the famed Shaolin Temple. (Track 9)

Xiǎo Liú:

Yáng, nǐ zuò shénme gōngzuò?

yahng, nee dzwaw shummuh goong-dzwaw?

Yang, what kind of work do you do?

Yáng:

Wǒ shì yǎnyuán.

waw shir yan-ywan.

I’m an actor.

Xiǎo Liú:

Nà hěn yǒuyìsi.

nah hun yo-ee-suh.

That’s very interesting.

Yáng:

Nǐ ne?

nee nuh?

How about you?

Xiǎo Liú:

Wǒ shì hùshì. Wǒ zài Kāifēng dìyī yī yuàn gōngzuò.

waw shir hoo-shir. waw dzye kye-fung dee-ee ee ywan goong-dzwaw.

I’m a nurse. I work at Kaifeng’s No. 1 Hospital.

Yáng:

Nán bùnán?

nahn boo-nahn?

Is it difficult?

Xiǎo Liú:

Bùnán. Wǒ hěn xǐhuān wǒde zhíyè.

boo-nahn. waw hun she-hwahn waw-duh jir-yeh.

It’s not difficult. I really like my profession.

Talking About Where You Live

After folks get to know each other through small talk, they may exchange addresses and phone numbers to keep in touch. That introductory question covered earlier in this chapter, Nǐ zhù zài nǎr? 你住在哪儿? (你主在哪兒?) (nee joo dzye nar?) (Where do you live?), may pop up. You may also want to ask a few of these questions:

Nǐde diànhuà hàomǎ duōshǎo? 你的电话号码多少? (你的電話號碼多少?) (nee-duh dyan-hwah how-mah dwaw-shaow?) (What’s your phone number?)

Nǐde dìzhǐ shì shénme? 你的地址是什么? (你的地址是甚麼?) (nee-duh dee-jir shir shummuh?) (What’s your address?)

Nǐ shénme shíhòu zài jiā? 你什么时侯在家? (你甚麼時候在家?) (nee shummuh shir-ho dzye jyah?) (When will you be at home?/When are you home?)

You may also talk about your home from time to time. These words and phrases can come in handy:

Wǒ zhù de shì gōngyù. 我住的是公寓. (waw joo duh shir goong-yew.) (I live in an apartment.)

Wǒmen zhù de shì fángzi. 我们住的是房子. (我們住的是房子) (waw-mun joo duh shir fahng-dzuh.) (We live in a house.)

Wǒ zhù zài chénglǐ. 我住在城里. (我住在城裡.) (waw joo dzye chuhng-lee.) (I live in the city.)

Wǒ zhù zài jiāowài. 我住在郊外. (waw joo dzye jyaow-why.) (I live in the suburbs.)

Wǒ zhù zài nóngcūn. 我住在农村. (我住在農村.) (waw joo dzye noong-tswun.) (I live in the countryside.)

In addition to your diànhuà hàomǎ 电话号码 (電話號碼) (dyan-hwah how-mah) (phone number) and your dìzhǐ 地址 (dee-jir) (address), most people also want to know your diànzǐ yóuxiāng dìzhǐ 电子邮箱地址 (電子郵箱地址) (dyan-dzuh yo-shyahng dee-jir) (e-mail address). And if you find yourself in a more formal situation, giving someone your míngpiàn 名片 (meeng-pyan) (business card) may be appropriate. (To find out how to pronounce numbers, refer to Chapter 5.)

 Fun & Games

Match these people with the words that identify their professions. Check out Appendix D for the answers.

yīshēng 医生 (醫生)	accountant
lǎoshī 老师 (老師)	doctor
fēixíngyuán 飞行员 (飛行員)	pilot
kuàijì 会计 (會計)	teacher