Index

A

AARP, 165

Abdo, Carmita, 190

abstinence, 191

abstinence-only programs, 191

abstinence pledges, 58

Accelerating Acceptance (report), xii

ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union), 220–221

actual self, 100, 101

ACT UP, 97

addiction, 161–163, 225, 236

adolescence, emotional development during, 132

adolescents

disparate experiences of, 148

maturity levels of, 141–144

suicide among, 67

adrenal glands, 201

adultery, 165

adulthood, celebration of transition to, 141

Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), xiii, 246–247

Africa, 122–123, 142

African Americans, 76–78, 93–94, 154155, 167, 227–228

age, 226

“Ageing Gay Men” (Jones and Pugh), 179

ageism, 226–228

age of consent, 136, 143–144

aging

and access to social services, 249

author’s experiences with, 190, 205206, 225–226

and caregiving, 248–249

Erik Erikson’s view of, 232, 234

freedom allowed by, 260

and opportunity, 242–243

and physical attractiveness, 178–181, 209

and sexual functioning, 192–194, 196

and shrinking time, 187–188

“Aging, Gay, and Facing Prejudice in Twilight” (Jane Gross), 1

Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud, 122

AIDS, 1–2, 6, 86, 97, 98, 167, 258

AIDS crisis, 86, 223, 225

AIDS Memorial Quilt, 98–99

Alabama, 76

alcohol, 14, 68, 88, 168, 201

alimony, 176

Alzheimer’s disease, 247, 252

American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), 220–221

American Communist Party, 141

American Indians, 120

American Psychiatric Association (APA), 32–33, 115, 139, 219

Amis, Martin, 235

amyl nitrite, 166–167

anal sex, 21, 152, 154, 166

analytical thinking, 60

androgen, 201

anger, 198

animals, 43, 204–205

Annals of Internal Medicine, 17

anticipation of rewards, 90

antidepressants, 63, 88, 197

antidiscrimination laws, xii, 80–81

anti-LGBTQ legislation, 158–159

antisodomy laws, 122

anxiety, 25

APA. See American Psychiatric Association approval from others, 88, 101–102, 236

Archives of Internal Medicine, 252

Archives of Sexual Behavior (Michael Seto), 210–211

Ariely, Dan, 190, 191, 206, 207

arousal, 133, 156

artificial insemination, 45

Asian immigrants, 124–125

Aslan, Reza, 57

assortative mating, 204

attractiveness, physical, 178–179, 181

atypical sexual interests, 139

automatic thinking, 53, 103–104

B

baby boomers, 29, 182, 229, 233, 248

Badgett, M. V. Lee, 165

Bailey, Michael, 42

Baldwin, “Woody,” 250

ballot initiatives, 217, 221

Baltimore, Maryland, 142

Baptist Church, 77

bar mitzvah (bat mitzvah), 141

bathroom bills, xi–xii, 221

beauty, 206–207, 251

Beck, Glenn, 95

Beeler, Jeff, 175

Benedict XVI, Pope, 38–39

bereavement, 64

Bertone, Tarcisio, 138

The Best Little Boy in the World (Andrew Tobias), 100

Beyond the Down Low (Keith Boykin), 154

Bible, 46, 54, 77, 161

Bieber, Irving, 115–116

binary reasoning (binary logic), 26, 34

biological age, 181

biphobia, xi

Birch, Elizabeth, 95, 96

birth control, 191

bisexual (term), 155

bisexuality, x–xi, 73, 155–157, 249

Bisexual Option (Fritz Klein), 156

blaming, 31, 99, 186

blended families, 182

Blink (Malcolm Gladwell), 204

Blue Boy (Rakesh Satyal), 63, 132

BMJ, 62

body image, 179–180

Boise, Idaho, 107–108

Borg, Marcus J., 53, 56, 57

born-again Christians, 86–88

Botox, 235

bottoms, 153, 154

Bowers, Kathryn, 42

Boykin, Keith, 154

Boy Scouts, 130

brain, 16–17, 88, 90, 91, 92, 93, 97, 117, 131–134, 136, 141, 143, 144, 148, 194–195, 243, 257

Brass Garden disco (Des Moines, Iowa), 85, 87

Brewer, Marilyn, 96

Bridge of Sighs (Richard Russo), 61, 80

Bringing Up Baby (movie), 15

The British Journal of Psychology, 44

British Petroleum (BP), 121

Brown, Jerry, 33

Browne, Lord, 120–121

The Bucket List (movie), 200

Bucket lists, 234

Buddha, 40

Buddhism, 224

Bush, George W., 191, 221

Buxton, Amity Pierce, 177–178

C

caffeine, 88

California, 33, 73, 217

cancer treatments, 201

Cantor, James, 138

caregiving, 248–249

Carey, Benedict, 203

Cass, Vivienne, 69, 70, 72

Castaneda, Carlos, 258

casual sex, 19, 152, 205

categorization, 93

“CBS Reports: The Homosexuals,” 111–112, 127

CDC. See Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

celibacy, 60

The Celluloid Closet (Vito Russo), 112

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 6, 13, 18, 67, 166, 167

Chariot Allegory (Plato), 38

Chauncey, George, 27, 28

cheating, 240–241

Chellew-Hodge, Candace, 59

Chevalier, Jeff, 121

Chicago, Illinois, 175

childhood, celebration of transition from, 141

children

and coming out in midlife, 58–59, 175–178

inhibited vs. uninhibited, 134–135

protection of, 148–149

child support, 176

Christakis, Nicholas, 62

Christian conservatives and fundamentalists, 51–52, 55, 58, 86–88, 122, 140, 159, 222

chronological age, 181, 209

chronophilia, 210–211

Cialis, 199

cirrhosis, 168

civil rights movement, 227–228

Civil Service Commission, 109

class differences, 155

classical conditioning, 117

class privilege, 120–121

Clementi, Tyler, 258

Clohessy, David G., 147

CNN, 39

CNN World, 138

cocaine, 88

coercion, 108, 145, 148

Coffin, William Sloane, 165

cognition, 46, 133

cognitive dissonance, 24–25, 35

cognitive therapy, 103

Cold War, 109

colonialism, 122

Columbia University, 122

comfort foods, 88

coming out

as act of social justice, 25

author’s experience of, 5–8, 75–76

decision about, 184–185

as intimate disclosure, 66

in later life, 174–175, 177

in midlife, 58–59, 173, 175–178, 187–188

models of, 69–70

primary task of, 81–82

stages of, 69–71

timing of, 71–73

trajectory model of, 71–76

common sense, 47, 57

Communists, 109

companions, 252–253

compulsive sexual behavior, 162

concentration camps, 94

conditioning, classical and operant, 117

condoms, 154, 192

confirmation classes, 53

confusion, 7

conscience, 47

consensual sex, decriminalizing of, 124

consent, 164

conservatives, 42–43, 45, 140, 159, 246–247

Consumer Reports, 91

contact hypothesis, 97–98

contraceptive pill, 192

conversion therapy, 20–21, 32–33, 43

coparenting, 176

corporations, 158–159

cosmetic surgery, 179

countertransference, 4

Craig, Larry, 15–17, 95, 96, 108, 113

Craig, Suzanne, 15

Craigslist, 136

crisis competence, 252

cruising, 153, 159–160

crushes, 22, 49

“Crush the Monster” (newspaper editorial), 107

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, 259

cultural beliefs

about masculinity, 19–20, 23

about men, 240

about women, 154

cultural context and differences, 119–122

D

daddies, 210

dad I’d like to fuck (DILF), 211

Daily Kos, 108–109

The Daily Show, 58

Dallas, Texas, police officer shootings, 222

Darwin, Charles, 39–41

D’Augelli, Anthony, 68, 69

death, 223–224, 233, 245–247

death penalty, 122

decision making, 76, 91–92, 184–185

defense mechanisms, 30–31

Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), 16, 217

Democratic Party, x, 110

denial, 30–31

DeParle, Jason, 97

Department of Health and Human Services, 249–250

depression, 62–65

author’s, 7

brain chemistry and, 88

and compulsive sexual behavior, 162

and erectile dysfunction, 197

in LGBTQ community, 67–69

and loss of control, 188

and negative thinking, 99

and self-esteem, 191

and suicide, 13, 61

and testosterone levels, 201

The Descent of Man (Charles Darwin), 39

Des Moines, Iowa, 51–52, 81, 85, 87, 133–134

despair, 183

detumescence, 196

Dhammapada (Buddha), 40

Diabetes, 201

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 115, 139

Dias, Maria, 46

DILF (dad I’d like to fuck), 211

discrimination, xii, 1, 25, 80–81, 96

dissociation, 4–5

distorted logic, 65

divorce, 176

divorce rates, 164–165

DL (down low), 154–155

DNA, 41, 43, 136, 257

Dobson, James, 222

Dole, Bob, 197

domestic abuse, 218

domestic violence, 218

Donadio, Rachel, 39

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, x, 216

dopamine, 88, 90, 91, 92, 169, 190, 194–195

Dougary, Ginny, 121

down low (DL), 154–155

Drescher, Jack, 163

Druckerman, Pamela, 165

drug use and abuse, 14, 68, 88–90, 163, 166–168, 236

E

Eaton, Ken, 6

ecstasy, 166

education, 129–130

ego, 117

Egypt, 184

Einstein, Albert, 47

Eisenhower, Dwight D., 110

ejaculation, 129, 130, 161, 193

elderly gay men

coming out by, 174–175, 177

depression in, 68–69

issues faced by, 247–252

elephants, 232

Elliott, Kennedy, 220–221

Emory University, 126

emotion

and brain function, 131–134

as component of moral psychology, 46

and decision making, 92

two-factor theory of, 133

emotional intimacy, 194

emotional leveling, 190

emotional maturity, 142–143

empathy, 92–93

employment, discrimination in, 80–81

Engel, George, 118

erectile dysfunction (ED), 190–191, 193, 197–199

erectile functioning, 193, 199

Erikson, Erik, 107, 183, 232, 234

eugenics, 27–28

Europe, 180–181

Evangelical Christians, 58, 222

evolutionary theory, 44, 46

excitement phase, 194–196

experiential age, 181

F

Facebook, 73, 159

fairy (term), 27

falling in love, 164

false memories, 5

family(-ies)

blended, 182

coming out to, 66–67

decision to leave, 2

and social support systems, 253

Family Research Council (FRC), 140

fantasizing, 161

fathers, 6, 47, 48, 115–116, 175–178. see also gay fathers support group

Faulkner, William, 224

FDA. See Food and Drug Administration

Federal Bureau of Investigation, 219

federal laws, 80–81

feeling thought, 3

Feldman, Henry, 193

felony sexual assault, 141

femininity, 23, 26

feminist movement, 228

fidelity, 164

Fitch, Asa, 55

Focus on the Family, 222

Food and Drug Administration (FDA), 167, 169, 199

Fortune 500 companies, 81

Fowler, James, 62

Francis, Andrew, 126, 166

Francis, Pope, 147

Frank, Barney, 95–96

Franklin, Benjamin, 91

FRC (Family Research Council), 140

Freud, Anna, 7, 102

Freud, Sigmund, 7, 47, 117, 148, 191, 233, 257

Freudian psychology, 33, 117

frontal lobes, 92

Fundamentalist Christians, 51–52, 55

fundamentalist religions, 54

the future, 224–225

G

Galton, Francis, 41

gambling, 88

García Márquez, Gabriel, 15

gay (term), 29, 33, 39, 154

Gay and Lesbian Coalition of Kenya, 123

gay bars, 219

gay bashing, 86

gay community, 29, 67, 68

gay fathers support group, 85, 86, 104–105, 136

“gay gene,” 41, 45

gay identity, developing a, 81–83

Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), xi

Gay New York (George Chauncey), 27, 28

gay porn, 151, 211

gay relationships, public acceptance of, 59–60

gay rights, xii, 248

gay sexual roles, 153–154

gay spaces, 157–159

gender, 119–120, 212

gender identity, 219

Generation X (Gen Xers), 229

Genesis, book of, 46

genetics, 20, 40–45, 46, 136

genital sex, 194

genocide, 96–97

geographical age, 181

geography, 73

Germany, 94, 97, 258

Gilead Sciences, 168

GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), xi

Gladwell, Malcolm, 204

God, 40, 43, 46, 52, 55, 62, 77, 174, 183, 258

Golden Men (Harold Kooden), 82, 181

gonorrhea, 168

Goodman, Matt, xii

Google, 211

Gottman, John, 92

Grant, Cary, 15

Grassley, Charles, 246, 247

Gratitude (Oliver Sacks), 215

Great Britain. See United Kingdom

Greeks, ancient, 119, 230

Green, James Michael “Billy,” 86, 89, 92, 97, 99

Gross, Jane, 1

Grossman, Arnold, 68, 69

guilt, 177

gynecomastia (“man boobs”), 26, 35

Gypsies, 97

H

Haggard, Ted, 58, 59, 113

Haidt, Jonathan, 46

Haldeman, Douglas C., 57

Hamlet (William Shakespeare), 105

Hamlin, Harry, 112

happiness, 62, 63, 103, 258, 259

Hart, Trevor, 154

Harvard University, 7, 100

hate, 60, 183

hate crime (term), 97

hate crimes, 218–219

Hauerwas, Stanley, 102

Hay, Harry, 141, 146

healthcare, xiii

Hepatitis B (HBV), 168

Hershberger, Scott, 68, 69

hippocampus, 131

Hispanics, 94, 166, 219

HIV, xiii, 1–2, 18, 59, 122, 126, 154, 159, 166–169, 167, 225

HIV tests, 168–169

HMOs, 59

Home Access HIV-1 Test System, 169

homonaïvité, 26, 152–153

homonegativism, 184

homophobia, 25, 249

homosexual (term), x, 29, 33

“Homosexual Identity Formation: a Theoretical Model” (Vivienne Cass), 69

homosexuality

Catholic Church’s view of, 39, 138–139

genetic basis for, 41, 45, 118

as lifestyle “choice,” 45–46, 54

opponents of, 20–21

as pathologic deviancy, 115

as “psychopathic deviancy,” 4

stigma of, 227

homosexuals, Nazi persecution of, 97

hookups, 152, 190

Hoover, J. Edgar, 110

hormones, 201, 212

Houston Prime Timers, 223

Howard, John, 22–23

HRC (Human Rights Campaign), 95

Hu, Stella, 41

Hugo, Victor, 188

Human Rights Campaign (HRC), 95

Human Rights Campaign Foundation, 81

Huxley, Aldous, 200

hypersexuality disorder, 161–162

I

ice cream, making, 231

id, 117

Idaho, 107–108

Idaho Evening Statesman, 107, 108

ideal self, 99–102

identical twins, 42, 174

Identity and the Life Cycle (Erik Erikson), 107

ignorance, willful, 45

IGRs (intergenerational relationships), 207–212

I’m-gonna-getcha game, 88–89

immigrants, LGBTQ, xiii, 124–126

impotence (term), 197

independence, 240

India, 123–124

Indiana, 81

inertia, 71

infidelity, 163, 165

In Focus: Reporting on the Bisexual Community (report), xi

in-groups, 94–99

inheritance of characteristics, 41

inhibited children, 134–135

inner cities, 142

intergenerational conflicts, 230

intergenerational relationships (IGRs), 207–212

internalized homophobia, 25

Internet, 159–160

intervening variables, 53

intimacy, emotional, 194

introspection, 60

intuition, 91

Iowa, ix, x, 78, 99, 179, 215–216, 246

Iowa State University, 27, 34

Iowa Supreme Court, x, 216

Iran, 122

Islam, 55

“It’s Raining Men” (song), 29

J

James, Scott, 164, 240

Japan, 124

Jesus, 57

Jews, 97, 141

Johnson, Colin, 27

Johnson, Kirk, 255

Jones, Julie, 179

Journal of Sex Research, 153

Journal of Sexual Medicine, 190

Just Queer Folks (Colin Johnson), 27

K

Kahneman, Daniel, 91

Ken (acquaintance of author), 85–87, 89, 99

Kennedy, Anthony M., ix, 215, 217

Kenya, 123

Kertbeny, Karl-Maria, 94

ketamine, 166

Kimmel, Douglas, 252

King, J. L., 154–155

Kinsey, Alfred C., 31–33, 43, 155, 191, 213

kissing, 21, 94

Klein, Fritz, 156

Koller, Silvia, 46

Kooden, Harold, 82, 181

Kuria, David, 123

L

labels, 37, 93

Larkin, Philip, 182

Las Vegas, Nevada, 72, 251

“Lavender Scare,” 108–109

Lawrence v. Texas, 52

laws and legislation

antidiscrimination laws, xii, 80–81

anti-LGBTQ legislation, 158–159, 220–221

antisodomy laws, 122

bathroom bills, xi–xii, 221

legacy, 171

legal protections, 80–81

Leigh, Karen, 55

Levinson, Harry, 7, 100–102

Levitra, 199

LGBTQ community, 67, 157–158

LGBTQ Rights, 215–219

libido, 197–198

life expectancy, 172

Limbaugh, Rush, 95

limbic system, 131, 243

Liptakjune, Adam, 215

liver disease, 168, 201

loneliness, 63, 64, 67, 135, 162

Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth, 242

long-term relationships, 189–190

Los Angeles Police Department, 111

loss, feelings of, 64

loss avoidance, 91–92

losses, 182, 185, 246

Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel García Márquez), 15

lust, 54

Lust in Translation (Pamela Druckerman), 165

Lutheran Church, 56, 173–174

Luther’s Catechism, 53

M

MagneticFire (blog), 9, 21, 24, 123, 142, 208

Making Love (movie), 112–113

Malakos, 161

male menopause, 201–202

male sexual response, 194–196

“man boobs,” 26, 35

March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation, 98

marginalization, 232

marijuana, 88–90

Marlboro man, 26

marriage, 2, 6, 123, 163–166, 175–176, 215, 219, 237, 256. See also same-sex marriage

marriage licenses, 220

masculinity, 19–20, 23, 26, 27

Mason, Everdeen, 220

Massachusetts, ix, 164–165

masturbation, 28, 77, 94, 130–131, 135, 160–162

materialism, 235–236

mating rituals, 205

Mattachine Society, 110–111, 141

McCarthy, Joseph, 109

McCarthyism, 109

McGee, Jason (pseudonym), 76–78

McKinlay, John, 193

Mead, Rebecca, 179

meaning, 43, 237

meaningfulness, 239

media, 54

Medicare, 188, 247

Medicine Crow, Joe, 120

Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time (Marcus J. Borg), 53

Mehlman, Ken, 221

memory(-ies)

false, 5

as narratives, 14

storing of, 131

and testosterone levels, 202

Mendel, Gregor, 40, 41

Men Like That: A Southern Queer History (John Howard), 22–23

menopause, 201–202

mentors, 183–184

men who have sex with men (MSM), 1–2

coming-out process for, 8–9

diversity of, 18–19

misperception about, 17–18

online survey of, 9–13

prevalence of, 17–18

straight-identified, 21–22

“The Messy Realities of Bisexuality” (Loren Olson), x–xi

methamphetamine, 88

MetLife, 248

metrosexual (term), 180

Mialon, Hugo, 126, 166

Miami New Times, 140

microcommunities, 157

midlife crisis, 171, 179

midlife transition, 173, 182

Midwest, 17–18

Milk, Harvey, 6, 223

millennials, 229–230

mindfulness, 224, 226, 233, 239–240

Mississippi, 73, 220

monogamy, 163–164, 237, 240–241

moral dumbfounding, 46

moral integrity, 105

morality, 46, 55–56, 59–60

moral psychology, 46

Morbidity and Morality Weekly Report, 13

Morgentaler, Abraham, 201

“Morituri Salutamus” (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow), 242

mortality, 171, 182–184, 187, 256

mothers, 47–48, 115–116, 135

movies, 112–113

MSM. See men who have sex with men

Muhammad (prophet), 57

multifactorial inheritance, 41

Museveni, Yoweri, 123

Muslims, 55, 152, 163, 184

Myers, Steven Lee, 116

N

narcissism, 22

NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality), 116, 140

National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), 116, 140

National Evangelical Association, 58

National Park Service, 98

Natterson-Horowitz, Barbara, 42

Nature Genetics, 41

Nazis, 94, 258

Nebraska, 3, 23–24, 74, 89, 93, 108–109, 110, 129, 149, 183, 227, 247

negativity bias, 92

“The Neurobiology of Trust” (Paul J. Zak), 212

neurochemistry, 88–91

neuroimaging, 191

neurovegetative symptoms, 64

New Orleans, Louisiana, 218–219

New York City, 17, 28–29, 121, 151–152, 217, 255

New Yorker, 158–159, 179

New York Post, 108–109

New York Times, 1, 39, 73, 97, 116, 164, 203, 215, 216, 240, 255

Nicholson, Jack, 200, 202

nicotine, 88

Nixon, Richard, 110

No god but God (Reza Aslan), 57

non-LGBTQ Americans, and gay rights, xii

nonmonogamous sex, 163, 240–241

North Carolina, 221

The Nutcracker, 74

O

Obama, Barack, 123, 216, 218, 221, 249–250

Obamacare, xv, 246–247

Obergefell v. Hodges, ix, 217, 219

older LGBTQ community, suicide in, 67

Oliver-Miller, Shirley, 120

“One-Drop Rule,” 93–94

On the Down Low (J. L. King), 154–155

Ontkean, Michael, 112

open relationships, 164

operant conditioning, 117

oppression, 157

The Oprah Winfrey Show, 155

OraQuick In-Home HIV Test, 169

orgasm, 27, 35, 196

original sin, 54

Orlando, Florida, mass shooting, xii, 217–219, 222, 223

Orwell, George, 235

The Other Side of the Closet (Amity Pierce Buxton), 177–178

“Out and Aging” (MetLife study), 248, 249, 251

out-groups, 94–99

Out Late (Tim Turner), 129

Out Rage (documentary movie), 95

overprotective mother, 115–116

Oxytocin, 212

P

pain, 225, 233

Pakistan, 162

Palin, Sarah, 246

Papua New Guinea, 120

paranoia, 90

paraphilias, 139

parents, 45, 135

Paris, Joel, 14, 148

the past, 224

Pavlov, Ivan, 117

pederasty, 136, 137, 140–141

pedophilia, 136, 138–140, 147, 212

pedophilic disorder, 139

penis, 195, 198

Perel, Esther, 238

perfectionism, 99

performance anxiety, 198–199

personality, 42

pervert inquiry, 110

Pew Research Center, ix–x, 45–46, 159, 163

Philipps, Dave, 216

physical abuse, 63

physical age, 209

physical attractiveness, 178–179, 181

physiological arousal, 133

Pillard, Richard, 42

pinko fag (term), 110

plateau phase, 195–196

Plato, 38, 119, 175

playtime, 229

Plutarch, 119

Plymouth Church (Des Moines, Iowa), 51–52

politicians, 227

polyamory, 241–242

“poppers,” 166–167

pornography, 151, 160, 211

preejaculate (precum), 195

preexposure prophylaxis (PrEP), xiii, 167–168

prefrontal cortex, 133, 134

prejudice, 97–98, 222, 253

premarital intercourse, 155

Prescriptions for the Mind (Joel Paris), 14, 148

priapism, 199

Prime Timers Worldwide, 73, 250

privacy, right to, 95

procreation, 28

propaganda, 96–97, 111–113

Proposition 8 (California), 217

Prospect Theory, 91–92

prostate-specific antigen (PSA), 202

prostitutes and prostitution, 27, 140, 155

Prussia, 94

PSA (prostate-specific antigen), 202

psychiatry, 93

psychodynamic psychotherapy, 103

psychodynamic theory, 47

psychological age, 209

Psychological Science, 156

Psychology Today, x–xi

Pugh, Steve, 179

Pulse bar (Orlando, Florida), 217–218

Q

queer (term), 93

queer theory, 28

quinceañera, 141

R

rationality (rational thought), 3, 38, 90

rationalization, 30–31

Raygun, 215–216

Reagan, Ronald, 159

reason, 40

reasoning, 91

Reeves, Carlton, 220

refractory period, 196

regrets, 184–185

rejection, 99, 135

Rekers, George, 140

relationships

intergenerational, 207–212

long-term, 189–190

needs satisfaction in, 239

open, 164

U-shaped, 237–238

religion, 51–60, 183

religious conservatives, 42–43, 45, 58, 140

religious faith, 56

religious freedom, 220

religious institutions, 57

religious traditions, 56–57

repression, 30–31

Republican Party, x, 109, 110, 221, 246

resolution phase, 196

retaliatory violence, 222

“Rethinking Infidelity” (Esther Perel), 238

Revolutionary War, 216

rich privilege, 120–121

right to privacy, 95

risks, taking, 135, 159

risk-taking behaviors, 88, 191

risky sexual behavior, 168

Roman Catholic Church, 38–39, 61, 136–138, 146–147, 149

Roman Catholic clergy, 136–137, 146147, 149

Romans, ancient, 119

Romantic love, 175

Roter, Debra L., 252

Rove, Karl, 221

Rubin’s vase, 3

Rumi, 37

RuPaul, 179

RuPaul’s Drag Race, 179

rural areas, 73, 227

Russo, Richard, 61, 80

Russo, Vito, 112

S

Sacks, Oliver, 215

Sambians, 120

same-sex activity, criminalization of, 126

same-sex marriage (same-sex unions)

Larry Craig and, 16

guarantee of right to, 215–217

Japan, 124

support for, ix–x

Sand, George, 245

San Francisco Bay Area, 164

Santa Claus, belief in, 4

Satyal, Rakesh, 63, 132

Schachter, Stanley, 133, 148

Science, 45

Science (journal), 118

scrotum, 195

secrecy, 65–67, 79, 126–127

Secret Historian (Justin Spring), 21, 31–32, 43, 81, 151, 155

self, 39–40

actual, 100, 101

ideal, 99–102

self-actualization, 66, 70

self-blame, 99

self-criticism, 99, 102

self-esteem, 47, 68, 99–103, 186, 191, 198

self-identity, 43, 49

self-talk, 53

semen, 196

seminal fluid, 195

September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, 217

serotonin, 88, 92

Services and Advocacy for LGBTQ Elders, 255

Seto, Michael, 210–211, 212

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (John Gottman), 92

“Sex, Romance, and Relationships: AARP Survey of Midlife and Older Adults,” 161

sex addiction, 161–163

sex drive, 193, 194

sex education, 149–150, 160

sexism, 19

sexual abuse, 4–5, 136–138, 147–149

Sexual Abuse (journal), 138

sexual activity, and dopamine levels, 88

sexual age, 181, 209

sexual arousal, 156, 203–204

sexual assault, felony, 141

sexual attraction, 20, 42–43, 210–211

sexual behavior

compulsive, 162

and morality, 55–56

risky, 168

sexual attraction vs., 42–43

Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (Alfred C. Kinsey), 31–33, 213

sexual desire, 16–17, 203–204, 211–212

sexual discovery, 129–131

sexual disorders, 139

sexual dysfunction, 190–191

sexual functioning, 192–193

sexual identity

Vivienne Cass on, 69

George Chauncey on, 27

conflict about, 67–68, 82, 113, 119, 125

disclosure of, 66, 79

as employment issue, 81

origins of, 191

and sexual orientation, 212–213

and values, 165

Sexuality Across the Life Course (McKinlay and Feldman), 193

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), 18, 166, 168, 191

sexual maturity, 143–144

Sexual Offenses Bill (United Kingdom), 144

sexual orientation, 20

acting outside of, 212–213

concealment of, 65–67

discrimination based on, 80–81

genetic factors in, 42

Kinsey’s view of, 31

and sexual desire, 211–212

sexual orientation grid, 156

sexual performance (term), 198

sexual performance anxiety, 198–199

sexual play, 77

sexual predators, 143

sexual response, 193–196

sexual roles, 153–154

sexual satisfaction, 190–191, 193

Shakespeare, William, 105

Shannon, Graeme, 232

should (word), 64, 104

Singer, Jerome, 133, 148

Skinner, B. F., 117

Skype, 160

SNAP (Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests), 147

Socarides, Charles, 115–117

Socarides, Richard, 116

social conservatives, 246–247

social media, 9

social networking sites, 159

social role, being gay as, 165–166

social-service agencies, discrimination by, 1

sociocultural factors, in coming out, 71

Southern United States, 17–18, 76, 93–94, 121

specific serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), 88

The Spirit and the Flesh (Walter Williams), 120

Spring, Justin, 21, 31–32, 43, 81, 151, 155, 256–257

SSRIs (specific serotonin reuptake inhibitors), 88

state laws, 220–221

status quo, 71, 91–92

STDs. See sexually transmitted diseases

Stephens-Davidowitz, Seth, 73

stereotypes, xi, 18, 22, 48, 86, 94, 113, 151–152, 154, 158, 200, 209, 226–228

Stevenson, Adlai, 110

Steward, Samuel, 21, 256

Stewart, Jon, 58

stigma, 68, 227

“Still Out, Still Aging” (MetLife report), 248

Stonewall Inn, 28

Stonewall riots, 10, 28–29, 97, 113, 121, 215, 228, 251, 254, 256

stress, 181, 249

suburban areas, 73

suffering, 225, 233

suicide, 13, 61–62, 65, 67–68

superego, 47, 117

surrogacy, 45

Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests (SNAP), 147

syphilis, 168

T

talk therapy, 163

Tammeus, William D., 171

teen pregnancy, 191

teen suicide, 13

temporal lobes, 92

terrorism, 109

testicles, 201

testosterone, 201–203, 243

Testosterone for Life (Abraham Morgentaler), 201

testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), 200–203

Texas, 221, 222

“thin slicing,” 204

“This Be the Verse” (Philip Larkin), 182

thought, rational vs. feeling, 3

time, 230

Times, 121

Timmons, Stuart, 141

Titus, Gary, 86, 89, 92, 97, 99

Tobias, Andrew, 100

Tokyo, Japan, 124

Tomasello, Michael, 44

tops, 153–154

traditionalist generation, 229, 233

traits, 41, 42

trajectory model (of coming out), 71–76

transgender people, 247

and bathroom laws, xi–xii

legislation focusing on, 221

in US military, x

The Trouble with Harry Hay (Stuart Timmons), 141

TRT (testosterone replacement therapy), 200–203

Truvada, 167, 168

Tumblr, 211

Turner, Tim, 129

Tversky, Amos, 91

twelve-step programming, 163

twins, 42, 174

twisted logic, 65

two-factor theory, 133

U

Uganda, 122–123

Uganda AIDS Commission, 122–123

unbucket lists, 234

unconscious thinking, 103, 117, 204

unconscious thought, 91

uninhibited children, 134, 135

Unitarian Universalist churches, 56

United Church of Christ, 56

United Kingdom (Great Britain), 110, 117, 120–122, 144

United States

changing attitudes in, 59–60

HIV in, 166

witch hunts in, 107–110

United States v. Windsor, 217

University extension services, 28

University of Arizona, 7

University of Chicago, 259

University of Nebraska, 114

The Upside of Irrationality (Dan Ariely), 190, 206

UpStairs Lounge (New Orleans, Louisiana), 218–219

urban environments, 115, 142, 157

urethra, 195, 196

US Congress, 246

US Constitution, ix, 16, 215

U-shaped relationships, 237–238

US military, x, 89, 95, 114, 176, 216

US Navy, 89–90, 114–115, 216, 228

US Senate, 109–110

US Supreme Court, ix, 33, 52, 215–217,

V

values, 47, 56–57, 104, 183

value systems, 40, 53, 66, 173, 243

Varnum v. Brien, x

Vatican, 138

verbal abuse, 63

versatiles, 153

Viagra, 26, 188, 197, 199, 203, 235

Vietnam, 124–125

Vietnam War, 89, 114–115

The Village People, 29

violence, xii, 222

visitation privileges, 250

W

Wakefield, Nebraska, 183

Wallace, Mike, 111–112, 116, 127

Wall Street Journal, 55

Warneken, Felix, 44

Washington, DC, 98, 205

Washington, George, 216

Washington Post, 220–221

webcam chats, 160

webcam sex, 216

Westboro Baptist Church (Topeka, Kansas), 52, 54, 183

When Gay People Get Married (M. V. Lee Badgett), 165

Wherry, Kenneth, 108–109

willful ignorance, 45

Williams, Aaron, 220–221

Williams, Robin, 187

Williams, Walter, 120

winning, 235

witch hunts, 107–110

Wolff, Jennifer, 252

women, devaluing of, 154

World War II, 216

X

X chromosome, 41

Y

YMCA, 28

young people, changing attitudes in, 60

youth bias, 251

Z

Zak, Paul J., 212

Zoobiquity (Natterson-Horowitz and Bowers), 42