Create a Comfortable
Feeling with Clients,
Staff, and Colleagues
They may forget what you said—
but they will never forget how you made them feel.
—carl w. buehner
When you’re serving others, you’re not thinking about yourself. You just let it happen, without questioning it. Sometimes you need to not be the most important person in the room. You need to make others feel like they’re the center of the universe and you’re there to make them comfortable. Reading their energy with your intuitive intelligence allows you to tune in to their level of contentedness, which will translate into success for you and your business. It helps you maintain a connection in an easy, relatable way, whether it’s with clients, staff, or even your boss. And take that same energy home with you to create that happy, even cozy, feeling with your family and friends. When you shift your energy to be more attentive, you make people feel significant, and it shows them you value their worth, even when that can be a stretch! Most importantly, it helps generate a trusting atmosphere where people will be more apt to share, explore, and spend!
Being a Rockstar
While Not Being the Most Important
Do you know what an oxymoron is? Basically, it’s a contradiction in terms, such as “the silence was deafening.” It is essentially a juxtaposition of two concepts or words that you wouldn’t normally associate with each other. The reason it’s important is because you can be powerful while not being the most important person in the room! That sounds counterintuitive, right? It seems like it goes against what being a badass is. However, it can be fundamental in certain circumstances to maintain or establish good connections.
You can be confident; actually, you should be confident. Understanding how to stay excited about what’s happening with you and around you keeps you on top. Welcoming other people into your world who are important means you must make room for them and even possibly allow that they have to be the most important in the room currently. It’s okay for them to be center stage. They need to be put on a pedestal. The only question, really, is why would you do that? Why would you step back?
You will always be important. As a matter of fact, you will always be number one in your life. However, there are often situations when it’s in your best interest to take a back seat. When you need to learn something from someone else, for instance, or when you want to make them feel comfortable. Intuiting how they feel provides you with a direction to go to make them content. When your clients (or staff, boss, coworkers, significant other, or friends) are happy and feel important, they will be more apt to be open to what you want to sell them. Using your gifts can give you data you might not otherwise be privy to, which can afford you a glimpse into what exactly makes them tick. You would be ridiculous to not use that insight when it’s readily available to you!
There’s no need to limit yourself to only one intuitive sense when you are tuning in to your client. You have a metaphysical cache to draw from, so restricting yourself is not necessary. In fact, it’s frowned upon. Making use of all your gifts is key to getting a full picture. The reality is trying to curb your intuition can cause your vibes to slow down and not flow as freely. Allowing all your senses to be open to interpret what you get gives you more insight. Being a success means you use what’s available to you.
Try This!
It’s a process. You read the energy of people through their handshake back in Chapter 3, so you’re an old pro at this. You need to take it a step further in order to make that certain someone feel special. The only tricky part is figuring out how to practice doing it. Let’s do it with someone you’re acquainted with but not too close to. Think of someone you are trying to figure out. It can be a client, a friend—it’s totally up to you. You want to decipher what makes them tick. Everyone is different. Happiness comes from many different sources and really depends on the individual. This is what you have to tune in to—what will make them feel content and, more importantly, relaxed. Before you do, make sure you send positive energy out to them and thank them for being open to you. Normally, you don’t want to invade someone else’s energy, so be grateful you have the opportunity to do this in a humble and respectful manner.
Try opening all your gifts at once. Allowing everything to come through, no matter the sense, can give you a fuller picture. Close your eyes and think of that person. Imagine you can perceive their energy as it streams out of their aura. You may psychically see it, hear it, feel it, or just know it. Take it all in. Do any images come to mind? If so, what are they? Are the images clear? Foggy? Symbolic? Do you hear anything coming through? Sounds? Words? Music? Something you recognize or don’t? How about what you feel coming off them? Do you feel their energy? Are you taking on their feelings? Do they feel happy? Sad? Upset? Ecstatic? Nervous? Energized? What kinds of feelings do you get? What else is coming to you? Is there anything you just know? Anything that feels like you know something that you didn’t before, seemingly out of nowhere? Let it all sink in as you breathe in and out.
When you feel like you’ve gotten all you will out of the energy, put it together. What did you perceive? The next level of interpretation is what will generate the most understanding with what you’re looking for now. You’ve utilized all your gifts to discern what you could from their aura. Based on what you’ve learned, go deeper and see if you can pick up on what might cause them to be happy. Search with all your gifts for a spark, a little light inside them. When you find it, make it bigger, stretch it so you can see what’s within it. Read the energy. This is their happy place; the part of their aura that may hold a key to making them at ease. Are the impressions something you can use to determine what would make them relaxed or content? What did you pick up? Process all the impressions you received and figure out if any of it explains to you how you could contribute to making them happy.
Create That Trusting Atmosphere
It is totally on you to build a supportive foundation for your clients and staff. When you’ve discovered what makes them happy, you have the ability to increase that level of comfort—for them and of course for you. You want them to be secure with you and what you represent or what you bring to the table. Establish that rapport with them, showing them you know how to make them happy because you’ve set your sights on them and want them to feel special. There is absolutely nothing wrong with showing respect to them. Your goal is to create a trusting atmosphere so they will want to be with you, buy from you, work for you, and so on.
This doesn’t make you or your actions disingenuous. Alternatively, it shows you value them and maybe even have a high opinion of them. Obviously, you want to benefit from your relationship as well. It’s a two-way street. Being a success isn’t about disregarding others to get ahead. However, recognizing what you can do for someone else and what they may provide you is a great way to exchange energy. So go for it. Show them you appreciate them, and they will, in turn, appreciate you and what you have to offer.
This is not a magic trick—but it is significant when trying to build a relationship. Picking up and deciphering the energy of those you’re serving or who are serving you is clearly a considerable part of making the connection. Another step in building that trusting atmosphere, though, is to adjust your own energy. You’ve worked with your aura. Now is your chance to stretch that aura out in a welcoming and warm way.
Extending your aura for a specific reason can take some practice. Learning how to extend your aura out to other people to create a comfortable vibe is great for every situation. In this specific way you will help generate that trusting atmosphere you are looking for. It’s a simple thing you can do that will add to your success.
Erica was having a rough time at work. It was not her ideal job, just something to make money while she finished up college. She was doing the work of three people and gave 100 percent to each one during her shifts, so after a staff meeting when her manager pulled her to the side to talk, she was surprised.
“Do you want to work here, Erica? It doesn’t seem like you want to be here,” she said.
“Ummm, excuse me?” Erica responded, her jaw on the floor.
“You need to work harder. It doesn’t seem like you’re putting in any effort. I don’t think you want to be here.”
Erica went home very upset. She was working so hard that she had to wear short-sleeve shirts even though it was winter because she was sweating like she was at the gym. She didn’t understand what was happening or why she was being admonished since she was giving it her all. She felt so disrespected and disenchanted that she wanted to put in her two weeks’ notice right away. I told her to wait and think about what was happening.
She knew, and I believed, that she truly was putting in the effort. What else could have triggered this? Why had she been singled out? I questioned whether it was because the manager wasn’t personally feeling the love from Erica. It seemed to me that if she were able to send some warm energy out to her manager, things would turn around. I knew it would probably be difficult. Not only was she upset, but she was mad. She was positive that what was happening to her was wrong and she didn’t want to give them any more effort, but she also wanted to make money. She decided to try staying at least until she could get another job. In order to do that she needed to make a few adjustments, the first being what I suggested.
I explained she could send positive, warm energy to her manager. Tuning in to her aura, she could focus on loving energy. Then she should imagine pushing it out in waves, kind of like ripples on a pond. Once she could feel the energy flowing outward, she could direct it specifically toward her manager. When I send positive energy out, it helps me to visualize it. I envision sparkly, glittery streams of energy meandering and pulsing their way out into the world. Erica was able to do this as well and felt like it reached her boss.
The next day, she was stressed about going into work. When she arrived, the manager looked a bit confused, partly due to the fact that she really expected Erica to give up and quit and partly, I definitely believe, because her feelings toward Erica had changed, for no reason she could put her finger on. But we knew. The day passed by with Erica working hard as usual. By the end of the day, the manager was pleasant and even, almost, friendly. Erica could tell her manager had no idea what had happened, but she seemed pleased, for the first time, with Erica. Erica, in turn, felt empowered. She was now (almost!) excited to go to work and bring her vivacious, happy attitude along with her.
This is what I’m talking about—changing the atmosphere around you by expanding your energy and sending it out toward the people you are hoping to connect with. I’m not telling you to invade someone else’s energy. That would be totally unethical. However, when you are doing it in a positive way, trying to create a mutually beneficial relationship, it is okay. Clearly, it is not altogether philanthropic or altruistic—you want something from it. Building that trust between you, though, is a great reason to link up.
Whether it’s to land a business deal, keep your staff happy, or create a better environment at home, creating that comfortable feeling is critical. You won’t get anything from anyone if there is no trust. Neither will you be happy without respect. Putting someone else on the pedestal and making them feel important brings out the best in them. Shifting your energy and, yes, letting go of your ego, shows them you value them and their position with you. Using your metaphysical gifts to reach out to them and experience their feelings as well as sending them your positive energy will make for a more content association all around, which will leave you feeling like a total rockstar and add to your success.
When Their Energy Has You
Questioning Your Intuition
We work so hard to make everything come together and create an atmosphere that caters to others while making us feel good. Whether it’s business or pleasure, this usually has us on a path toward success. It, however, is not always about getting others to trust us, and creating that comfortable mood for everyone else. We also have to pay attention to how we feel when working or playing with other people. Back in CHAPTER 4 we talked about picking up the vibes from others, specifically their handshakes. Building that trust so others can have confidence in us is one thing—being sure we expect and have that same trust in the people we are doing business with is critical. You don’t want to mess around, on any level, with someone you don’t believe or have confidence in.
Heather Hansen O’Neill, a business coach, author, and prominent speaker, was not someone who regularly tuned in to her intuition—until she had no other choice. She told me of the situation that made her a huge believer in her gifts.
When I asked her of her intuitive experiences, she told me, “I will never ignore my intuition again. There have been numerous small occasions when my intuition has attempted to guide me. It’s the joyful voice that has led me to the best relationships, the activities that have made my heart sing, and the encouragement that has kept me going when I’ve been down. It’s also the quiet voice that questions someone or something that doesn’t feel right. I’ve noticed that when I haven’t listened to the voice, I’ve been disappointed with the outcome. But no time more than in the following situation.”
Turns out, in the very first conversation with a particular man she met, caution bells were ringing in her mind. However, she really liked the offer he was making to do some business together, so she ignored it.
Heather dove into this business relationship knowing this man prided himself on his outstanding sales ability. Every time they had a call, her voice of intuition would whisper, “Something’s not right,” but she didn’t listen because on paper the deal seemed solid.
As time wore on, the situation worsened. More and more often their opinions clashed, and she found him saying and doing things that were in blatant conflict with her character, and the things she believed in her heart to be true.
She went on to tell me that in these moments the voice practically hissed at her to listen. Still, she didn’t listen because by this point, she was involved and she didn’t want to disappoint the people they were supposed to be helping. When she would question him, he poured on the charm and made her wonder if she had perhaps been wrong. His tone was cajoling and very convincing.
It bothered Heather so much she wasn’t sleeping well. She started to feel physically ill anytime she spoke with him. She couldn’t even think of him without anger welling up. During one particular call, he turned the conversation around and blamed her for something he had done. It was then she realized the extent of his narcissism.
Heather said her inner voice shouted, “Get out!”
She finally paid attention and severed all ties with him. The relief she felt in that instant was incredibly freeing. Only later did Heather find out about the other people he had deceived. Many people came forward and told her that he had tricked them too.
She told me, “Now I am filled with gratitude for my inner voice, my intuition, and use it to guide me in business and in life. It’s a powerful tool that I trust!”
Sometimes, as with Heather’s situation, it takes a while to really trust your gut instincts. That whispered guidance can often feel like your imagination. Trusting your intuition goes a long way toward trusting your business and personal relationships and situations. We often sense caution flags waving, but our desires can shut them down, allowing our wants to overrule them. When we do this, we are usually setting ourselves up for failure in one way or the other. In this type of situation, almost more than ever, we must pay attention to what our metaphysical senses are telling us.
It’s crucial to make other people comfortable. One of the key components to doing that is tuning in to the energy of the person you are with to determine what makes them happy. It’s okay to put others on a pedestal, but not to your detriment. Creating a trusting environment for both them and you is also a critical piece of what’s necessary to make you both successful. Knowing, though, when the person you are trying to impress isn’t trustworthy makes it that much more important to trust your gut instincts and run, run as far away from that person as you can. When you can build a positive environment for all to be successful and are careful whom you trust, you will really thrive.