The realities of doing business today often require that employees and their managers work from different locations. When you’re not colocated with your boss—especially if you’re separated by large distances and time zones—a different set of considerations comes into play, since you’ll never casually run into each other in the office hallway or by the watercooler. This was true long before the pandemic set in, and its lessons remain: You’ve got to change your approach in order to work with and adapt to the realities of having a virtual boss.
Here’s the good news: As long as you and your manager can develop trust, keep the communication channels open, and establish clear lines of accountability, there’s a good chance that you can work together smoothly. According to our research,1 the following best practices will help you successfully manage the relationship:
First, acknowledge that making your interactions with each other as productive and efficient as possible is going to require a proactive approach. You need to establish the ground rules. How? Start with an email to your boss. Try something like this: “I’ve attached an article that describes how virtual teams can best work together. Can we discuss it in our upcoming call to see if it’s how we want to work together?” What you’re doing is setting up a virtual contract that you can both agree on.
People on virtual teams misguidedly assume that connecting more often—via more teleconferences, Zoom sessions, emails, and the like—is the answer to the problems of distance. But the result is usually an acute case of screen fatigue and information overload. The real key to managing the relationship with your boss is to set an appropriate cadence of communications so that you’re aligned on outcomes. Is it a daily call or a weekly call? Set the frequency that works best for you and your manager, keeping these two rules in mind:
There are other rules to consider as well. Michael Watkins, professor, author, and cofounder of Genesis Advisers, conducted research2 that found that having regular meetings helped set a rhythm in virtual teamwork. Here’s what also worked:
Think through your personal goals for your work: What would “hitting it out of the park” mean in one month, six months, or a year? Spend some time reflecting, and write down your performance goals and targets. Send them to your boss and have her sign off on them.
Then, in the cadence of meetings that you have already established, have frequent discussions with your boss to make sure you’re both checking in on your progress on a regular basis. It’s important to establish clear lines of accountability from the start. This means holding yourself to what you said you’re going to do by when. Let your manager know that you believe feedback along the way is a gift.
Next, build interpersonal trust. What binds virtual teams of any size together are the personal details—the similarities that lead us to trust the people around us even when they’re far away. You can do two things to get personal:
Research conducted by Northeastern University professors3 found that many employees working from home felt isolated or disconnected, making it difficult for them to develop personal relationships and trust. The study, which predated the Covid-19 pandemic, recommended informal social interactions like the ones described above to increase trust and build stronger connections.
Go overboard to be of service to your boss. Generosity accelerates emotional bonding because it enables you to selflessly focus on your manager’s success, which strengthens the relationship.
Start with acts of generosity that are about doing your job extraordinarily well, and then focus on those that go beyond your job. Concentrate on your boss’s personal and professional goals to deliver against his or her legacy. Finally, “get personal” and do small things that matter to your manager. Each act builds on the one prior. For example:
Don’t be conflict-avoidant—it’s one of the most destructive attributes of many company cultures. And this is especially true for virtual workers, since you’re missing the regular face-to-face interactions that make it easier to develop strong relationships. Transparency and candor build trust, and they should be negotiated in advance, as described earlier, when you set expectations and told your boss that feedback is a gift. Always attack conflicts head-on. Ask for candid feedback, and give feedback too, when appropriate. Nip any problem in the bud.
Technology is sometimes labeled as a “distraction” that prevents us from really connecting. But when you’re working virtually, technology brings you together—especially if everyone can see each other. Viewing people’s faces during generous moments such as getting feedback or having a personal-professional check-in only reinforces the good parts of a relationship. Other technologies to consider using include:
Physical distance is not the death knell to effectively collaborating and forming strong relationships. In fact, it may be irrelevant altogether, because in many organizations where workers are colocated, relationships are often still strained. Why? What’s lacking is not physical closeness but emotional closeness, clarity, and alignment. That’s why those who work virtually must take a proactive approach to close and overcome strategic and emotional distance. If you truly take these tips to heart, and put clear process and rigor around them, you can have a better, stronger relationship with your boss than the average face-to-face one, regardless of how far apart you work.
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Keith Ferrazzi is the founder and chair of Ferrazzi Greenlight, which coaches teams and boards on increasing adaptability and collaboration to capture unexpected growth opportunity and avoid unsuspected risk. He is also a best-selling author on the subject of leadership and teams. His latest book, Leading Without Authority, was published in May 2020. Go Forward to Work (HBR Press) will be published in Fall 2021.
1. Keith Ferrazzi, “Getting Virtual Teams Right,” Harvard Business Review, December 2014 (product #R1412J), https://hbr.org/2014/12/getting-virtual-teams-right.
2. Michael D. Watkins, “Making Virtual Teams Work: Ten Basic Principles,” hbr.org, June 27, 2013 (product #H00AUL), https://hbr.org/2013/06/making-virtual-teams-work-ten.
3. Jay Mulki, Fleura Bardhi, Felicia Lassk, and Jayne Nanavaty-Dahl, “Set Up Remote Workers to Thrive,” MIT Sloan Management Review, October 1, 2009, https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/set-up-remote-workers-to-thrive/.
Adapted from content posted on hbr.org, December 11, 2014 (product #H01RBP).