In order to become less pressed, and to achieve my goals episode-free, I have assembled an NPC task force of my favorite feminist icons, each in charge of inspiring me in a different way. I cut out pictures of them and arranged them on my wall, and wrote quotes in marker in little speech bubbles. Good thing no one ever comes into my room because this is the cheesiest thing since the invention of cheese (5500 B.C., in what is now Kujawy, Poland).
The NPC Task Force includes:
Purpose: researching as much about the disease as possible and making sure health providers are straight-talking to my parents, and not taking advantage of us for insurance money.
Purpose: reminding me that I’m flawless, and that I’m an independent woman. Or rather, girl. Even if Stuart rejects me, I will love myself. (Still haven’t heard from him about when exactly he wants to get coffee. Whatever. Independent girl.)
Purpose: helping me remember to be less selfish, and that young women can do a lot. I always think about what I’ll do when I’m older, but she was like, no, I will do good for the world now, even though I’m only a teenager.
Purpose: learning something new (tennis), which is supposedly good for people with memory loss. Taking better care of my body and not being afraid to be a “jock.” I’ll probably need new muscles if my old ones grow weaker.
Well, this woman is literally my doctor so I have to trust her expertise and listen to everything she says. I asked her for her cell phone number so I could text her questions anytime, day or night, just in case. Is that weird?
No matter what happens, I can’t have an episode like I did at Nationals, at least not until my grades are in and my status as valedictorian remains intact.
If I’m going to deal with all this stuff, I’ll need to be more than just inspired, I will need to be even more strategic. I will need different methods than what worked before. I need to put my best self forward, and hope I don’t run out of it too soon.