Oh. Coop had been asking me on a date! Oh my god, that’s adorable. If only you could have seen what Coop was like then. The kid wore a different color sweat suit every day of the week. Like, he was that guy. The guy who wears sweat suits. As we all were. I mean, but Coop grew out of it ha ha ha and I did not. But anyway, I had no idea. I’ll tease him for it later.
Or maybe I won’t tease him. I don’t like the idea of making him embarrassed. I don’t like seeing him, you know, hurt.
But between you and me, that is so funny. I didn’t know he could have ever had those kinds of feelings for me. Probably because I was the only person with a vagina that talked to him on a regular basis. As National Geographic tells us, those kinds of feelings develop when you put two heterosexual people who aren’t related to each other in the same room, and Coop and I were in the same room a lot.
Then he went into the same room with a lot of other vaginas and got over it.
Is it weird to put Cooper Lind and vagina in the same sentence?
But yeah, even if I had noticed then, I don’t think I could have gone on a date with Cooper Lind. I was too busy smashing my face into pillows and reading about Druid Wars.
God, I am remembering the whole thing now. How strange I thought it was that he would call me and ask me to go to Molly’s, rather than just coming over and opening the fridge and putting two hot dogs in the microwave, like he normally did.