It’s no secret that giving feedback is a very difficult act. Most people associate it to the dreaded once-a-year performance appraisal with their bosses where the verdict will be delivered on how well or poorly they have fared.
Yet, feedback is fundamentally one of the most important tools for managers to raise performance levels and to foster learning in the team. A McKinsey & Company survey1 of over 12,000 managers throughout the world revealed that managers consider “candid, insightful feedback” extremely important to their development, but most say that their bosses aren’t doing a good job in providing such feedback.
This finding parallels my experience in coaching managers who frequently tell me that they wish bosses will provide them more genuine and objective feedback on how they can improve.
We aren’t talking about Asian managers in particular. It is a worldwide phenomenon. Their counterparts in the United States and Europe do not find it any easier to give feedback as well. These are some key roadblocks that stand in the way:
♦ Fear of causing a hostile reaction
♦ Unprepared to deal with emotional outburst
♦ Belief that it will sour relationship as “face” will be lost
♦ Just don’t know how to give feedback
♦ Personal biases or prejudices clouding assessments
Before we discuss how we can give feedback constructively, let’s listen in on the following feedback conversation.
Yee Ling, a young logistics specialist, works for Peter, the supply chain director of a consumer electronics company based in Shanghai. Peter is an American expatriate. Three months ago, he invited Yee Ling to join a company-wide task force that he personally chairs. He has become rather disappointed as Yee Ling has not contributed at all in the four meetings that have been convened. In his mind, she clearly has no interest in the proceedings. In his usual forthright way, Peter decides to call Yee Ling into his office to give her some feedback.
Peter: |
I would like to provide you some feedback about your participation in the company-wide task force. |
Yee Ling: |
Sure, what’s your feedback? |
Peter: |
I now have second thoughts about whether I did the right thing in inviting you to join me in the task force. My aim was to provide you a chance to observe me in managing such a large cross-functional team. I was hoping that as you’re new to our company this will hasten your assimilation and expose you to other people in the company. But apparently, you have no interest in the discussions. You are always silent in all the discussions. |
Yee Ling: |
Boss, I’m sorry that you think that way…I am learning a lot and I assure you that I’m very interested. |
Peter: |
It sure doesn’t seem that way to me. Of the seven people present, you’re the only one who has contributed nothing so far. So do you really want to remain in the team? |
Yee Ling: |
Yes, boss. I definitely want to stay on as it helps me a lot to observe how you and the other experienced people work together. I will contribute more from now onwards. |
If you were Yee Ling, what is the impact of this conversation on you? Chances are the encounter has unsettled you. Peter’s remarks are too direct and insensitive. He has already made up his mind that you aren’t interested. Visibly unhappy, he wants you to buck up or leave.
You feel rather hurt as well. What a judgmental boss! He doesn’t even ask why you have been quiet in the last few sessions and simply jumps to conclusions based on his own assumptions. You’re the newest kid in the block and the youngest and most inexperienced among all the members. Everyone else is a manager except you. In such a setting, you gather it is better for you to listen and pick up more before you say anything. But apparently, the boss doesn’t see things that way. You’d better start speaking up, even if there isn’t much to say.
The bottom line here is that instead of being constructive and helping Yee Ling, Peter has provoked defensiveness. She will trust him less and will be more wary. There is little likelihood that there will be any real benefit from this feedback.
Here are five steps for creating feedback conversations that will be well-received and lead to positive actions. In other words, good feedback is actionable.
Step 1: Adopt an open mindset
When you give feedback, it is because you have certain observations about what has taken place. This may then lead you to interpret these events in a certain way. It is important to know that your interpretation is only one plausible way of viewing things. They may be other factors that you aren’t aware of. Hence, it is advisable to stay open-minded and refrain from passing judgment.
Peter’s approach is a case in point. He sees Yee Ling’s silence as evidence of lack of interest and quickly becomes disappointed. On the contrary, she is excited and honoured to be in the task force. Being a young Chinese girl in the midst of more senior and experienced colleagues, she is hesitant to speak out of turns.
Step 2: Make feedback a gift
When feedback is framed as a means to reach a specific organizational goal, it becomes an opportunity rather than a problem. For instance, it becomes an opportunity to develop people, improve customer service, or improve market share. When people see feedback as an investment in their development or a means to help them become more successful, it is now viewed as a gift.
Step 3: Be specific and focus on behaviour
Before you deliver feedback, ask yourself whether you have concrete evidence that may support your feedback. Make sure you do. Otherwise, when you conduct the conversation, it may even come across as half-baked and even frivolous. Do not base your feedback on rumours and hearsay.
The Centre for Creative Leadership (CCL) has a feedback model that I have found useful. Called SBI (Situation Behaviour Impact), there are three components as follows:
Situation: |
The setting or event that comprises the context for the behaviour to occur. |
Example: |
“During the task force meetings in the last four months...” |
Behaviour: |
Description of the behaviour observed. |
Example: |
“I noticed that you did not share your opinions with the rest of us.” |
Impact: |
Tell the person how her behaviour is affecting you or the group. |
Example: |
“I have a sense that perhaps these meetings aren’t as useful for you as I had hoped.” |
It is important to note that we should focus specifically on behaviour and not say anything about the person’s character or attitude. You may say, “I have a sense that these meetings aren’t as useful for you as I had hoped.” But it is presumptuous to say, “You have no interest in the discussions.”
Avoid making personal remarks or judging the person as in “… apparently, you have no interest in the discussions.” Once you do that, the other party will get defensive, and the conversation will go south.
Step 4: Check for response
To keep the conversation open and on even keel, pause a little to let the other party take in your feedback. Then ask some questions to solicit his or her reaction.
Examples: |
“How useful is it for you so far in participating in the task force meetings?” |
Questions like these are open-ended and non-judgmental. By being patient and willing to listen, you are making the conversation safe for the other party.
Yee Ling may respond as follows: “It’s actually very useful for me. I’m learning a lot. I’m sorry that I’ve been quiet… As I’m still new and inexperienced, I was afraid of saying the wrong things.”
Through her response, you may then realize that she’s probably still feeling uncomfortable in speaking up. In Asia, people tend to be less forthcoming in sharing their views in the presence of their seniors and elders.
Step 5: Follow-through
Don’t stop here. The next step after listening and understanding is to encourage actions to help your subordinate improve. You may empathize with her about being uncomfortable in speaking up as she is still new. Do assure her that the beginner’s view may provide a refreshingly different perspective. And this is a good environment to learn how to influence others.
In fact, a good feedback session may be a segue for a subsequent coaching conversation. Ask, “How will you act differently in our next meeting? How can I support you?”
Both of you may agree that in future meetings, you may cue her by asking for her viewpoints. Once invited, she may be more open in contributing. In the weeks ahead, you may have a brief chat with her to discuss her progress. Do remember to compliment her for her effort. With your encouragement, she will find her voice before long.
Review the five-step approach and be familiar with it. Before giving feedback, spend some time going through each of the five steps and mentally rehearsing what you will say. You may even consider role-playing with a trusted colleague.
Feedback that is useful needs to be delivered in a timely fashion. Don’t wait too long to either compliment someone for a piece of work or help him make a much needed improvement. Do it when the event is still fresh in the mind. There is a caveat though. If you or the other party are feeling upset, then it’s best to wait for a day or two to regain a proper perspective before having the conversation.
The five-step approach is useful in a one-one-one conversation with co-workers. When the session is conducted in privacy, there is more room for candour and clarification. There will, however, be occasions when you need to give feedback on the fly, so to speak. On such occasions, you have to do it less formally and may not have the time nor the privacy to adopt the five-step approach.
For instance, you are in a meeting during which a subordinate or a colleague has just presented a plan. You do have some ideas that may enhance his proposal. How should you proceed? I recommend a two-step approach as follows:
Step 1: Acknowledge the merits of what you have just heard, i.e. What Went Well (WWW).
Step 2: Provide suggestions for his consideration i.e. Even Better If (EBI)
For instance, you may say: “If we put ourselves in the shoes of our client, the merits of this proposal are as follows: (a)... (b)... and (c)... Perhaps, our chances of winning this bid may be even better if you include an option for...”
Between Steps 1 and 2, many of us have an instinctive urge to insert the word “but”. Doing so gives an unmistakable feeling that what is said in Step 1 is insincere. So let’s avoid it. If you need to use a conjunction, try “and”. It connects Steps 1 and 2 more constructively and seamlessly.
Positive
This applies to situations where someone has performed something very well and you wish to acknowledge him for it. It will be much more genuine and impactful if you adopt the SBI approach. Remember to provide concrete examples of what you appreciate. Managers should make the effort to show appreciation a little more often. In Asia and Europe, there is a tendency to withhold praises.
Constructive
This is for the purpose of helping the other party make improvement. As managers, we definitely need to do this more. Our people want it. Peter’s feedback would have been very useful for Yee Ling if he had done it the proper way.
Negative
It is for the purpose of pointing out an extreme form of behaviour that is completely unacceptable. Prior to this, the manager will have tried to provide constructive feedback. Now many attempts later, it has reached a make-or-break juncture. It’s time for a difficult conversation.
Not all constructive feedback discussions will turn out well. While most people will appreciate your feedback, there will be some who may become emotional and defensive.
When the other party becomes upset, it is best to pause and remain calm. If necessary, suggest that the discussion be adjourned to another date. Let him cool down a little. Then, reconvene the session. By that time, that person may have reflected on what you have said and may be more receptive
There may also be cases, however, where the subordinate may ignore the feedback and take no actions to improve. You will see this kind of behaviour in recalcitrant employees who have been allowed to have things their way for far too long by other bosses. Ironically, some star employees may just be as resistant to constructive feedback. In their eyes, they can do no wrong. What then do you do?
Remember: You get what you tolerate.
Stay composed and schedule a few more follow-up sessions. But there must come a time when you will need to lay out the cold, hard facts that failure to respond to the feedback will lead to serious consequences. For instance, you may have someone who performs well but is habitually abusive and foul-mouthed. This is when you exercise the hard power that you possess as a manager. It is useful to link his behaviour back to the corporate values.
Before you reach this point, talk to your boss and consult with HR (Human Resources). Then be courageous. Deliver the tough message. Effective managers do not shirk from taking unpopular but necessary measures that are for the good of the organization.
You may put it this way, for instance: “We have discussed on many occasions your habit of abusing colleagues and using foul language. This is a serious violation of our core value of treating colleagues with human sensitivity. Despite our conversations, I have seen no improvement on your part. I’ll be left with no choice but to terminate your employment contract with us if there is another instance of this kind of behaviour from you.”
Good managers schedule regular coaching sessions one-on-one with their reports. Such sessions serve the purpose of facilitating their development. They will also provide the context for providing feedback regularly. Such a practice will take the sting out of the dreaded annual performance review.
There will therefore be no surprises when it’s time for the yearly performance appraisal. What needs to be discussed and improved has already been highlighted, agreed and worked on. Done this way, a learning partnership between the boss and the subordinate emerges. Performance appraisal thus morphs from an annual event to a sincere, ongoing developmental dialogue.
♦ Employees will benefit immensely through receiving regular feedback from their bosses on their performance.
♦ Most managers find it difficult to provide feedback. The five-step feedback framework will help you to make feedback more objective and actionable.
Q1: When was the last time you gave feedback to one of your subordinates? How well was it done?
Q2: Try using the feedback framework in your next coaching conversations with your people.