The Day of Our Lord’s Triumph1
(with marginal notes for children)
NOTE: This story has been modified for the e-book format.
The marginal notes have been moved to the end.
On this Day of His Earthly Triumph, Our Lord returned from His hours of schooling and served Himself a small platter of triangular chips. He ate the chips point-first, making mash of them and vanquishing their sharp-edged power to harm the tender insides of Our Lord’s mouth and throat. He thereupon washed down the harmless mash with sparkling syrup and was pleased.2
Having thus satisfied the ache in His belly, Our Lord moved His body to the sofa, and there sat upon its soft leather skin, for which the cattle did sacrifice their lives to increase Our Lord’s comfort.3 Our Lord expelled the bubbling gasses from His stomach and placed His feet upon the coffee table, an act often persecuted by his worldly parents.
Yet Our Lord did persevere.4
Pressing His thumb to the buttons of the remote, Our Lord raised the television into being. He switched channels according to His whim, His sovereign eyes scanning the myriad and tawdry offerings. Golden Calves paraded before His sight in the guise of False Gospel, yet Our Lord remained strong. Having judged these things harshly, He banished all light from the screen.
Our Lord discarded the remote and sighed.5
He left the house, warmed by a light jacket He pulled from a hook beside the door. He slid His hands into the pockets of His jean shorts. The wind did blow His thick hair about His head and into His eyes, and He slouched against the chill gusts. He crossed the lawn and followed a concrete trail. He discovered in the pocket of His jacket the Nano He had been missing for two weeks, and He took this as a sign. When He tucked the earbuds into His ears and pressed the play button, the piano introduction to Jethro Tull’s “Locomotive Breath”6 did illuminate His being.
Our Lord bobbed His head at the power of the wailing guitar that followed. He achieved inner peace despite ample signs of worldly decadence—decapitated grass and geometric shrubs, trash cans aligned neatly at the curbs, mailboxes shining like the gaudy plumage of tropical birds—the signs of enslavement to a false order which He did reject, as He did also reject the order His worldly parents attempted to force upon His dwelling space. For this He was on several occasions unjustly imprisoned.7
Our Lord knew the dangers of His journey through the neighborhood. For all around Him dwelt His Sworn Enemies, and the Sworn Enemies did taunt Our Lord continually with epithets and condemnations. The Sworn Enemies did sometimes pour glue through the vents of His locker at school. They casually tripped Him in the hallways. They were clever in their ways, feigning clumsiness or momentary spasms that sent their feet and elbows flying into Our Lord’s path and uttering their epithets beyond the hearing of authorities. Thus did they torment Our Lord with impunity.
Yet Our Lord did persevere.8
Now He traveled past the public ball courts, where several Sworn Enemies battled Newcomers in a game of 3-on-3. The Sworn Enemies, taking note of Our Lord’s passage, did shout unholy oaths and challenges to His manhood, whereupon Our Lord raised His finger9 in retort.
The Sworn Enemies heeded not the warning of His finger. They swore to destroy Him as soon as they defeated the Three Newcomers.
Our Lord raised the volume of His Nano until the Jethro Tull playlist10 filled His ears.
Soon He came upon the Two Magenta-Haired Girls sitting outside the 7-Eleven, sipping cherry Slurpees through their painted lips. Our Lord was familiar with these girls and had reason to believe they were friendly to His ways, as they, too, had been unjustly labeled by the Sworn Enemies and by whose influence were cast out as harlots and loose women, though Our Lord knew this to be false, having sought fleshly congress with both girls at a party and receiving for His efforts a bruise to His lip.
Our Lord did persevere.11
He removed one ear bud and nodded His head in greeting. The Magenta-Haired Girls slurped from their drinks.
One of the Magenta-Haired Girls had a new skateboard and Our Lord did ask if He could ride it.
The Magenta-Haired Girl who owned the skateboard asked if it were true that Our Lord did prefer boys to girls, as some of His Sworn Enemies claimed.
Our Lord denied it. Did they not remember the party last year where He had sought fleshly congress with them?
The Magenta-Haired Girls claimed they did not remember, and they doubted the truth of Our Lord’s advances. He had not made an impression.
Our Lord did persevere.12
He said nothing of the bruise He did suffer at their hands. He climbed upon the skateboard and rode it skillfully13 across the uneven concrete and loose gravel in the parking lot, pumping to gain speed and avoiding a car backing from its space. The car honked at Our Lord and its owner did shout an oath.
The Magenta-Haired Girls were filled with mirth.
Our Lord swerved around a discarded can. He avoided collision with a small bird darting from a puddle. Our Lord performed well on the board until its turning radius proved larger than expected. The board struck a parking block and Our Lord stumbled forward and slammed against the window of the 7-Eleven.
Yet Our Lord did persevere.14
He quickly retrieved the board and returned it to the mirthful Girls, explaining to them that the board’s trucks were in need of loosening.
The Magenta-Haired Girls appeared skeptical.
Feeling unesteemed, Our Lord reached a fateful decision. He informed The Magenta-Haired Girls that He was going to the basketball courts15 to defeat His enemies this very day, and would they like to witness it?
The Magenta-Haired Girls’ faces expressed doubt.
Our Lord informed them that He had been working out in preparation for the battle.
The First Magenta-Haired Girl wanted to know if Our Lord had been working out at the same time He practiced his skateboard riding.
The Second Magenta-Haired Girl laughed.16
Our Lord bid the Magenta-Haired Girls good-bye and passed through the doorway into the 7-Eleven, where the Clerk announced to Him that he would be watching his movements on the monitors.
Our Lord approached the Clerk. He said, Friend, why do you accuse me? I have never taken from your store.
I don’t know You, but I know Your type, the Clerk replied.
And what type is that? Our Lord asked.
Punks Who Steal to Impress Their Slutty Girlfriends Because They Cannot Ride a Skateboard, said the Clerk.
When Our Lord disputed the truth of this, the Clerk did angrily order Him from the store, leaving Our Lord’s thirst unslaked.
You bear false witness against Me! Our Lord shouted through the glass door as the Clerk locked it shut,17 though Our Lord did know that Justice would be rendered in due course.
For Our Lord did persevere.18
The Magenta-Haired Girls were gone, and Our Lord did feel a growing impatience at the willful ignorance of Mankind. He understood that today He would have to make a stand against his Sworn Enemies and the ignorance of their kind. He had made His decision.
Thus did Our Lord return to the public courts.
The Sworn Enemies had just defeated the Three Newcomers there, and the six of them rested in the shade of a racquetball court’s wall as Our Lord did unlatch the gate and step onto the asphalt.
The Two Magenta-Haired Girls had arrived before Him and stood now on the dirt beyond the backboard, speaking mirthfully into their phones,19 exhorting many to come witness Our Lord’s certain defeat.20
There He is, said the largest of the Sworn Enemies. Come to get a beat-down.
Our Lord bravely stepped forward and announced His intention to vanquish them.
The Sworn Enemies made jest of Him.
Our Lord turned to the Newcomers. Whosoever of you will join Me, rise now to your feet, for if you are not with Me, you are against Me, and you shall suffer the fate of My enemies.
One of them claimed to have stubbed his toe.
A stubbed toe is as nothing to the sufferings of Hell,21 Our Lord did point out.
The other two Newcomers rose to join Our Lord. One of them asked Our Lord if He had game.
You shall see, said Our Lord.
The Manifold Witnesses did now begin to gather at the courts. They came in singles and pairs and small groups. A cool wind22 did blow, and the Manifold Witnesses braced themselves against it. They wore long shorts and short shorts and low jeans and shirts with various sayings representing the many tribes. Some hung onto the fence and peered through it or over it. Some sat in the dirt. Some perched on the play structures. Some lined the court at their peril.
A Burger King wrapper sailed the length of the court23 on a gust. The gray sky did portend a momentous event.
Our Lord removed His jacket and called for the ball. The Players took their positions24 on the Court.
The many physical advantages of the Sworn Enemies made them brazen with self-assurance, for the Sworn Enemies had size, strength, and skills superior to those of Our Lord and the Two Wise Newcomers. The Sworn Enemies could out-jump the Team of Our Lord, and it was rumored that one could throw down the rock as simply as whacking a crippled mole with a generous mallet. The Sworn Enemies possessed ball-handling facility, including the cross-over dribble and the spin move. While the Sworn Enemies lacked an outside shot, they were known to be deadly in the paint, and they did mightily press their size advantage to get there. And yet the Sworn Enemies did also love themselves too much and respected Our Lord too little.
Now Our Lord stood at the top of the key, dribbled two times, and passed the ball to the taller of the Two Newcomers for a give-and-go.25 Our Lord raised His hand for the ball as He ran to the hoop, and the Newcomer obliged with a bounce pass, which Our Lord did receive and immediately raise for a layup against the Largest Sworn Enemy.
The Largest batted the ball back into Our Lord’s face and blooded His nose.
The crowd took notice without sympathy. Our Lord persevered.26
The Largest Sworn Enemy was the most prideful of the Sworn Enemies and the instigator of the many and varied persecutions suffered by Our Lord at school and in the neighborhood. His acned face and meaty neck did haunt Our Lord’s nightmares often and made Our Lord wish to vanquish him with prejudice.
Our Lord wiped His nose. He lifted himself off the ground to defend. He checked the ball at the top of the key and returned it to the Sworn Enemy, who juked left, put his elbow out, and knocked down Our Lord as he drove to the basket. The attempt by the Younger Newcomer to reach in and steal the ball was met with a shoulder to his chin, and the snap of teeth-on-teeth caused a stir in the ranks of the Manifold Witnesses as the Sworn Enemy’s shot did fall through the basket.
The crowd responded with bloodthirsty shouts and raised fists.
Our Lord lifted the fallen Newcomer and encouraged him to continue the game, despite the bloody drool at the corners of his lips and the red glaze staining his teeth.
The Sworn Enemies scored thrice more with ease, two layups and a short jumper over the outstretched hand of Our Lord. Now the crowd turned against Our Lord’s team for their lack of skills. When the Sworn Enemies missed shots and Our Lord’s team did get the ball, the crowd jeered Our Lord for His airball from the foul line. They laughed at another shot blocked, another pass off a teammate’s foot.
The wind raised its voice. The dark clouds boiled in anger. The Manifold Witnesses made movements to disperse.
And yet did Our Lord persevere.27 Down 6-0, Our Lord received the ball after a miss. He hesitated not. His jumper from the top of the key appeared headed for a sorry miss when the First Forceful Gust28 did redirect it for a swish.
The Manifold Witnesses eyed the clouds yet did hesitate now to leave.
Our Lord received high-fives from the Two Wise Newcomers.
He returned to the top of the key and received a hard check to the gut from the Largest Sworn Enemy.
Our Lord did persevere.29
He repeated His quick jumper. This time the wind did propel the ball into the backboard and down through the hoop.
The Manifold Witnesses took note. They returned to their seats and perches with renewed interest. The next time, Our Lord faked the jumper and dumped off to the Larger Newcomer, who dipped under a Sworn Enemy’s elbow for a layup.
The Two Magenta-Haired Girls relayed these events into their phones for the benefit of Those Who Could Not Make It.
The chill rain did fall, yet Our Lord received the weather as His due gift. He juked His Sworn Enemies into sprawling positions on the wet concrete and brought laughter to the mouths of the Manifold Witnesses. He played the wind and calculated the effects of the rain on His shots, as the storm spoke in harmony with Our Lord’s passion.
This is how Our Lord did persevere.30
Yet our Lord’s team did suffer more setbacks. When the Sworn Enemies were not falling to the court, they were committing flagrant fouls which they angrily denied. Their elbows flew like clubs against the chins and ribs of Our Lord and the Two Wise Newcomers, the younger of whom did also express his fear of lightning.
Stand with Me, urged Our Lord, and no harm shall come to you.31
The Younger Newcomer did stand, for he found strength in the words of Our Lord, even as the blood did flow from the lips and noses, as well as the knees and elbows, of Our Lord’s team, staining the court red.
The Manifold Witnesses huddled together under lifted jackets and backpacks. They winced at the storm’s tumult yet could not tear their eyes from the Great Upset unfolding on court.
The teams tied at 11, and then 12, and 13, with Our Lord’s team playing catch-up each time. Finally, at 14, with the black sky shattering like glass and the rain tumbling like the carelessly dropped hammers of angelic ironworkers, it was decided that the next point would win the battle, and that a jump ball would determine possession.
Though the Sworn Enemies all had at least half a head on the tallest of Our Lord’s team, Our Lord did not object, for He was confident now of His victory, and He had a plan. He whispered to the Two Wise Newcomers to stay back and cheat toward the middle on defense and be prepared to receive the ball from an unexpected source.32
As Our Lord and the Largest Sworn Enemy stood across from each other at the top of the key with the rain battering their cheeks and blowing into their eyes and testing the musicality of the ball with fillips to its roundness, Our Lord knew three things: first, He would lose the jump ball; second, the Largest Sworn Enemy would call for the ball after swatting it to a teammate; and third, the Largest Sworn Enemy would then drive the lane, elbowing aside Our Lord to attempt the decisive shot for his personal glory.
The Manifold Witnesses pumped their fists and shouted, now firmly on Our Lord’s side, for they did respect both His determination and His great loss of blood. From among the multitude, a Random One33 was selected to toss the ball into the air. Our Lord made no effort to out-jump His rival. He backed into the lane and waited for His prophecy to unfold.
The Largest Sworn Enemy did swat the ball to his teammate.
The crowd raised its voice.
The Largest called for the ball and received it. Though one side of his face was covered in grit from a fall to the court and his lip was bloodied, the Largest started his dribble with a smirk at Our Lord.
Our Lord crouched with his arms out. A fingernail gash colored His throat, while His left ear reddened and swelled. His elbows streamed blood across His forearms, while the blood of His knees drained onto His socks, making stains for which He would later be persecuted by His worldly parents.
The storm made its voice heard, and Our Lord embraced the beauty of its awesome powers to cleanse.34
The Sworn Enemy faked a move to his left. Our Lord did not bite.
The Sworn Enemy crossed over between his legs and drove to the basket.
Our Lord slid over and blocked the Enemy’s path. He knew the Largest would not give up the ball.
The Sworn Enemy spun back to the middle and attempted to hook Our Lord with his thick arm and shove Him aside.
Our Lord slid into the lane and avoided the Enemy’s grasp.
The Largest kept driving. He had no choice now but to plow into Our Lord, just as Our Lord had prophesized.
The Manifold Witnesses did see this and gasp. For no one had ever before taken a charge from the Largest Sworn Enemy. The Largest had size and bulk beyond all others who played the courts, with a meanness of spirit and limb that imperiled any who might test him. He had twice been held back in school. His father was rumored to whip him with nunchakus to toughen him.
Yet Our Lord did stand boldly in his way, prepared to take the charge and give victory to His team. This is how he persevered.35
Though surprised by His actions, the Largest was determined to make Our Lord pay a heavy price. He drove a forearm up under Our Lord’s chin and delivered a knee to Our Lord’s thigh.
The Manifold Witnesses gasped and brought their hands to their mouths. A lightning strike went unnoticed.
Yet in the Sworn Enemy’s haste to injure Our Lord he became careless with the ball, which our Lord did anticipate.
As Our Lord was shoved with great force to the rain- and blood-soaked concrete, the ball went flying down the lane and delivered itself36 into the hands of the Younger Newcomer, who had obeyed Our Lord’s command to cheat to the middle. The Younger Newcomer received the ball and knew what to do. By the pick-up rules of this court he did not have to take the ball back and check it, as it had not touched the rim.37 He raised the ball over the heads of the stunned Enemies for an easy layup.
This is how he gave victory to Our Lord’s team.
The crowd jumped to its feet and shouted. The sky flashed harmoniously. Fists were raised. The women cried with joy as they rushed onto the court to attend Our Lord, Who lay flat on His back with His bloody elbows and bloody chin and bloody scalp washing the court around Him in purifying shades.
Our Lord had taken the charge for His team and vanquished His foes. He had taken the charge for us all. Now, as the women gathered around him and the Sworn Enemies shuffled away in defeat, Our Lord’s mouth opened with joy, and He did taste the sweet cool rains of His Wondrous Triumph.38 This is how it was.