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Index
Cover
Dedication
Introduction
Take the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Survey
Part I: How It Is We Become Who We Are
Chapter One: Every Adult Was Once a Child
The Philosophical Physicians
Time Does Not Heal All Wounds
The Body Remembers—and Will Tell Its Tale
The New Theory of Everything
Even “Mild” Childhood Adversity Matters
Chapter Two: Different Adversities Lead to Similar Health Problems
How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology
Why Stress Is More Damaging to a Child
Medical Adverse Experience
Flipping Crucial Genetic Switches
The Ever-Alert Child
The Rattled Cage
The Difficulty of Not Knowing
The Sadness Seed
How Early Adversity Changes the Shape and Size of the Brain
The Inflamed Brain
A Perfect Storm: Childhood Stress, Brain Pruning, and Adolescence
The Walking Wounded
The Really Good News
Chapter Three: Why Do Some Suffer More than Others?
The Theory of Good Wobble
The Heavy Price We Pay for Secrets
The Power of Having Just One Reliable Adult
The Sensitivity Gene
The Perception Puzzle
Rashomon Revisited—or How We Remember
Chapter Four: The Female Brain on Adversity: The Link to Autoimmune Disease, Depression, and Anxiety
Girls, Early Adversity, and the Autoimmune Connection
A Girl’s Brain Is a Vulnerable Brain—in Unique Ways
Girls and the Genetic Link Between Childhood Adversity and Adult Depression
Chapter Five: The Good Enough Family
When You Hope to Be a Better Parent than Your Parents Were
The Reactive Parent
It’s Hard to Give What Your Brain Never Received
How Children Absorb Their Parents’ Stress
Parental Stress Translates into a Child’s Pain
Nonparental Stressors: School and Friends
Early Biology Affects Later Relationships
The Neurobiology of Love
Attachment to Others Is a Biological Process
Part II: Recovering from Post Childhood Adversity Syndrome: How Do We Come Back to Who We Really Are?
Chapter Six: Beginning Your Healing Journey
A Healing Journey: Twelve Steps to Help You Come Back to Who You Really Are
1. Take the ACE Survey
2. Find Out Your Resilience Score
3. Write to Heal
4. Draw It
5. Mindfulness Meditation—the Best Method for Repairing the Brain
6. Tai Chi and Qigong
7. Mindsight
8. Loving-kindness
9. Forgiveness
10. Mending the Body, Moving the Body
11. Managing the Mind Through the Gut
12. Only Connect
Chapter Seven: Seeking Professional Help to Heal from Post Childhood Adversity Syndrome
1. Therapy Matters
2. Somatic Experiencing
3. Guided Imagery, Creative Visualization, and Hypnosis
4. Neurofeedback
5. EMDR and Desensitizing Memory
Chapter Eight: Parenting Well When You Haven’t Been Well Parented: Fourteen Strategies to Help You Help Your Children
1. Manage Your Own “Baggage”
2. Don’t Confuse Chronic Unpredictable Toxic Stress with Childhood Challenges that Foster Resilience
3. Instill the Four S’s in Your Children
4. Look into Your Child’s Eyes
5. If You Lose It, Apologize—Right Away
6. Validate and Normalize All of Your Child’s Emotions
7. Amplify the Good Feelings
8. Stop, Look, Go
9. Give a Name to Difficult Emotions
10. The Incredible Power of the Twenty-Second Hug
11. Make “What’s Happening” a Safe and Open Conversation
12. Reframe Stories of Intergenerational Trauma
13. A Child Needs a Reliable Adult or Mentor
14. Bring Mindfulness into Schools
In Conclusion
New Medical Horizons
Hopeful Frontiers in Pediatric Medicine
Let’s Continue the Conversation about Adverse Childhood Experiences
Acknowledgments
About Donna Jackson Nakazawa
Notes
Resources and Further Reading
Index
Copyright
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