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Index
Cover
Title
Dedication
Contents
I’m Just a Man Like You
Rambo
Morris’s Safety Motto
Guns in the Family
Something’s Missing!
The Canine Family
He’ll Go Nuts!
It’s Yours
Cell Mates
The Truth, the Whole Truth
Window Cleaners
The Mimic
The Heilan’ Coo
What’s in a Name?
Short Cut
Fishing for Jaws
Speed Camera Excuses
Peek-a-Boo!
The Pacemaker
Night Out, Now and Again
Ye Cannae Park That There!
All Bets are Off!
Friends Reunited
Road Accident Excuses
No Complaints
Wee Polis
BA with Honours
Drugs Trial
Budgie Airways
The Adventures of Harry the Polis
On the Buses!
Canteen Patter
German Knockers
The Smell of Robbery
Is that Right?
Speeding Excuses
That’s Entertainment
Help the Aged
Another Vacancy
Don’t Call Me a Liar
Ill Health Retiral
Graffiti
Paton’s Place
TV Detectives
The Glasgow Sheriff Court
The Sheehy Report
The Tasmanian Devil
Legless in Auchterarder
Football Crazy
Face Like a Fish Supper … All Chips
Pieces of Pizza
Tulliallan Barbers
You Said It!
Housebreaking
Reducing Crime
Don’t Trust the Polis
The Adventures of Harry the Polis
No Chance
How Did They Know?
Toilet Graffiti
Jacket In!
Cruelty to Girlfriends
The Carbolic Alcoholic
I’m Sick, Sick, Sick up to Here!
Michael Schumacher … Not!
Vasectomy
Moustache You a Question
Pea and Ham from a Chicken
The Snitch
Taxi to Charing Cross
Exam Results
Police Proverb
Kicking the Habit
Cosmetic Surgery
Talking Sex
A Special Unit Burns Supper
Karaoke? Not!
The Adventures of Harry the Polis
CSI Glasgow
A Side Order of Vegetables
Red Card for Pink Slip
Ask Him Yourself
Forgot Who You Were Today?
Who’s Comforting Who?
Road Accident Excuses
In the Dark
The Bar-L Strike
Is that a Cannon I Hear?
Trailer Bike
Don’t Talk to Strangers
Remind Me of Ramensky!
Marmalade or Jam?
Wood U Beleeve It?
Road Accident Excuses
More New Releases
Mini a Bargain
What’s Perjury?
Control Room Story
Road Accident Excuses
Hello, Dolly
Road Accident Excuses
Lost for Words
Road Accident Excuses
DNA Not Required
Crime Doesn’t Always Pay
Who Was That?
The Adventures of Harry the Polis
Smoking Cough
Barber’s
The Job’s Fucked
Now That’s Magic
Canteen
Bad Breath
No Profit in Theft
Who’s a Boot?
Single White Male
Toilet Paper
Ladies and Gents, no Bother
Straight from the Horse
Kiss Me Quick
The Battery Store
I’ll Tell Him Tomorrow, Maybe!
Road Accident Excuses
A Secret Service
Wanted
Yuill and Dodds
Cobblers
New Release
Speed Camera Excuse
Everything is Free
Three in a Bed
Religious Exams
Make Me Go Faster
Football Detail
Licensed to Bleed
Roast Chicken and Chips
Forensic Psychologist
Credit Fraud
Dr White at your Disposal
Lucky Me
The Adventures of Harry the Polis
Sick Joke
No Change
Signing Session
Disposing of Evidence
The Ballad of Big Bad Alec
No Hiding Place
No Armchair Stampede
A Clash of Personalities
Hearing Things
Don’t Blow a Fuse
The Music of Life
Funny Text from a Friend
I Never Parked It Like That
Ladies and Gentlemen – Ben Doon
Grass is Grass
Bombs Away
Harry the Unknown Osmond
Guess Who?
To Hell with Tulliallan
Anti-Abortion Demo
What are You Doing?
The Court Jester
Relief, for My Relief
0 to 60 in Seconds
The Demolition Man
The Glasgow Olympics
Parking Disability
I’d Know Her Anywhere
Learn to Drive
The Adventures of Harry the Polis
Post-it Thru the Window
The Lord Provost of Russia
Reality Television
The Spark-le is Still There
Surprise! Surprise!
My Appreciation
Copyright
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