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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
1: The Me I am Now
2: My Going-to-School Charade
3: We Interrupt this Glorious Nap…
4: (Groan) do I Have to?
5: Well, That was Awkward
6: Mission: (Hopefully not) Impossible
7: Mission: (Tragically not) Accomplished
8: Dani to the Rescue
9: Back in Enemy Territory
10: Today is the Crappy First Day of the Crappy Rest of My Crappy Life
11: The Vampires’ Den is Full of Surprises Today
12: At The Very Top of My “Shit i Don’t Want to do” List
13: Nosy-Ass Questions I don’t Want to Answer
14: I Settle into a Sucky Routine
15: “Quality Time” with Jenkins
16: I Loooove my Desk…but I Still don’t Love Surprises
17: I Loooove my Sister…Just not First Thing in the Morning
18: Study Session at Oliver’s…What Could Go Wrong?
19: Oliver Can be Super Annoying when He Puts His Mind to It
20: Dr. Blech-Stein is Extra Blechy Today
21: Someone Let the Cat Out of the Bag and I Need to Figure Out Who to Kill
22: The Real Culprit…and It’s not Even Someone I Can Punch
23: Matzo Ball Soup is a Proven Cure-All…Really
24: Time to Face the Music (Room)
25: Fireworks…the Bad Kind
26: So This is What Oliver’s Talking About
27: I Know Better than to Get My Hopes up But up They Go Anyway
28: Next Step: Break the News to Dr. Dad
29: Next-Next Step: We Break the News to Mom
30: I Rescue a Barbie (Like any Decent Human Being Would)
31: I Hope they Like Him, not That it Matters (Okay, it Totally Matters!)
32: Waiting and Wondering and Worrying and…Whatever!
33: The Day Before the Big Day, Aka Big-Day Eve
34: Big-Day Day
35: Well, am I Cured or What?
36: Oliver’s Day to Stand Naked in Front of the Class
37:…And Now I’m Freaking Out
38: Like, Julio’s…Actual House!
39: Adios, Fourteen, don’t Let the Door Hit you on the Way Out
40: Fifteen is the New Fuck, I Still Have to Go to School
41: Surprise NÚmero Tres…This is Getting to Be a Thing
42: Power to the Polka Dot
43: Everything’s Going Super-Awesome…So Naturally, I Screw It all Up
44: Failure is not An Option
45: Dr. Dad’s Office Aka my Happy Place
46: Assembly from Hell…But Aren’t They All?
47: I Need Answers—Stat
48: Literally One Week Later…Here We Go Again
49: At Least There are Tastykakes
50: The Other Un-Perfect Part
51: Third Time, Here’s Hoping I’m Charmed
52: Graduation Practice…What Could go Wrong?
53: Can I Please, Please, Please Just Crawl into a Hole and Die?
54: Oliver Cracks…a Little
55: Suddenly Kendall’s my New Bestie
56: Who Knew Julio was Such a Gossip?
57: Captain America to the Rescue (Hopefully Anyway)
58: Here Goes Everything
59: Team Ricky
60: Fireworks…the Best Kind
61: Good Riddance, Glorious Grant Middle School!
62: The Me i Am Now, the Real One
Author’s Note
Acknowledgments
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