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Index
Title Page
Copyright Page
Acknowledgements
Dedication
illustrations
Introduction
chapter one - Safety, Somatics, and Sexual Healing
The Choice to Heal
Safety and Sexual Healing
What’s Down This Road, Anyway?
Somebody to Lean On: Self-Care and Support
Somatics: Including Your Body in Healing
Safer Sex
Getting Started
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter two - Desire and Pleasure
Discovering Your Pleasure and Desire
Desire Is in Your Body
Your Sexual Self-Education
The Complexity of Desire
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter three - Dissociation
Checking Out
Dissociation and You
The Road Back: Healing Dissociation
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter four - Self-Denial
Survival Is a Powerful Act
Sexual Aversion: Who Needs Sex, Anyway?
Sexual Compulsion: Sex As the Only Way
Healing Self-Denial
The End of Self-Denial
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter five - Sexual Response and Anatomy: Information Is Power
Where Did You Learn That?
So What Is That Thing? A Lesson in Sexual Anatomy
Sexual Response Cycle
Gynecological Issues
Your Body
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter six - Masturbation and Self-Healing
Self-Loving
A Bad Rap
Your Keystone to Healing
But I Don’t Want to Masturbate
Five Steps to Great Masturbation
How to Touch Yourself
A Masturbation Date
Sex Toys, Fantasies, and Porn
Compulsive Masturbation
Mutual Masturbation
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter seven - Consent and Boundaries: The “Yes,” “No,” and “Maybe” of Sex
What Is Consent?
Sexual Abuse and Unwanted Sex
Embodied Consent
Informed Consent
Knowing What You Want
Communicating Consent
“Yes,” “No,” and “Maybe” Vignettes
Negotiate Before You Play
Response from Others
Healthy Risks
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter eight - Partner Sex
The Good, the Bad, and…the Pleasurable?
Choosing Sexual Partners
Let’s Talk About Sex
How to Meet Sexual Partners
Flirting and Kissing
Go Out There and Have Fun!
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter nine - Oral Sex
Cunnilingus
The How-to’s of Cunnilingus
Fellatio
The How-to’s of Fellatio
Rimming
The How-to’s of Rimming
Safer Oral Sex
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter ten - Penetration
Vaginal Penetration
The How-to’s of Vaginal Penetration
Anal Penetration
The How-to’s of Anal Penetration
Safer Penetration
Penetration and Triggers
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter eleven - Embracing Triggers
What Is a Trigger?
Map to Recovery
Embracing Triggers: This Way Out
Trigger Plan and Tools
Tell It Like It Is: Communication and Triggers
Safewords
Troubling Desire
Healing Triggers Outside of Partner Sex
Taking a Break from Sex
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter twelve - The Emotions of Healing: You Gotta Feel Your Way Out of This
You Have to Feel It to Heal It
The Five Stages of Emotions
Emotional Centering
Emotional Sourcing
Emotional Healing
Being Witnessed in Your Emotions
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter thirteen - S/M, Role-Playing, and Fantasy
S/M 101: Consent, Power, Sensation
Exploring the Edges
S/M and Survivors
S/M as “Acting Out” Abuse
Vanilla Role-Playing
Fantasy
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter fourteen - Sex Toys and Accoutrements
Vibrators
Dildos and Harnesses
Anal Toys
Lubricants
S/M and Bondage Toys
Toys, Safer Sex, and Cleaning
Erotic Books and Videos
Phone Sex
Cyber Sex
Your Play Toys
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter fifteen - Spiritual Sexuality
Tantra
Yoni Massage
Sacred Masturbation and Ceremony
Learning More
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter sixteen - Intimacy and Self-Forgiveness
Combining Intimacy and Sex: Turning up the Heat
Self-Forgiveness
Self-Trust and Compassion
Do I Deserve Pleasure?
Self-Permission
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter seventeen - Partnering with Survivors of Sexual Abuse
It’s Not Your Fault
No Saviors, No Patients
Take Care of Yourself
Expand Your Sexual Repertoire
You Get to Change, Too
Survivors as Partners
Sex Guide Exercises
chapter eighteen - Your Powerful Sexual Self: Who Are You Becoming?
chapter nineteen - Bibliography and Resources
CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE
RELATIONSHIPS - Books
ADDICTION AND RECOVERY - Recovery Resources, Organizations, and Hotlines
SOMATIC HEALING
SEX-POSITIVE SEX INFORMATION
Index
About the Author
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