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Index
WELCOME
DEDICATION
EPIGRAPH
ASTRID JONES SENDS HER LOVE.
CHAPTER 1: YOU’D HATE IT HERE.
CHAPTER 2: AUBERGINES, FOYERS, AND THE HORSE WHO LIVES UPSTAIRS.
CHAPTER 3: ASTRID JONES SENDS HER LOVE. FROM A PICNIC TABLE.
CHAPTER 4: CLAIRE NEVER QUITS.
CHAPTER 5: I WORK WEEKENDS.
CHAPTER 6: DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT.
CHAPTER 7: ASTRID TO HOME PLANET: PLEASE RESCUE ME.
CHAPTER 8: MOO.
CHAPTER 9: HOMECOMING FRIDAY IS JIGGLY.
CHAPTER 10: I DO NOT LIKE THE PLAN.
CHAPTER 11: IT IS WAY TOO EASY TO GET INTO ATLANTIS.
CHAPTER 12: TURNS OUT ASTRID JONES IS A ROBOT.
CHAPTER 13: ASTRID JONES JUST ISN’T READY YET, OKAY?
CHAPTER 14: I THINK THE RACCOONS NOW HAVE DYSENTERY.
CHAPTER 15: THE 135.
CHAPTER 16: AM I WEARING A “BE PUSHY WITH ME” SIGN?
CHAPTER 17: WE HEAR THINGS.
CHAPTER 18: THE BIG BANG.
CHAPTER 19: THIS IS NOT POLITE DINNER CONVERSATION.
CHAPTER 20: CONFESSIONS OF A DANCING QUEEN.
CHAPTER 21: LIFE OFF THE POT IS QUIET.
CHAPTER 22: MY NAME IS CLAIRE, AND I’LL BE YOUR PILOT TODAY.
CHAPTER 23: JEFF THE LEG JIGGLER TALKS, TOO.
CHAPTER 24: I AM A PUSHOVER. THAT’S WHY THIS SHIT HAPPENS TO ME.
CHAPTER 25: WELCOME ABOARD FLIGHT ATLANTIS.
CHAPTER 26: OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT.
CHAPTER 27: OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT PART TWO.
CHAPTER 28: THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.
CHAPTER 29: THIS IS NOT HOW I EXPECTED IT TO UNFOLD.
CHAPTER 30: CLAIRE MAKES SHADOWS.
CHAPTER 31: I WAS NOT IMAGINING THE GOSSIP FOG.
CHAPTER 32: IT ONLY GETS WORSE, YOU KNOW.
CHAPTER 33: NOTHING MATTERS.
CHAPTER 34: IRON THIS.
CHAPTER 35: YOU CAN IRON THE CURTAINS STRAIGHT.
CHAPTER 36: FRIDAY IS JUST GROSS.
CHAPTER 37: I USED TO LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING ON WEEKENDS.
CHAPTER 38: WHAT WOULD SOCRATES DO?
CHAPTER 39: IN WHICH ASTRID JONES FINALLY LOSES IT.
CHAPTER 40: I CAN’T DECIDE IF I WANT HIM TO DRIVE SLOWER OR FASTER.
CHAPTER 41: CAN YOU SAY AWKWARD?
CHAPTER 42: THE SOCRATES PROJECT.
CHAPTER 43: THANKSGIVING IS NOT A DIRTY WORD.
CHAPTER 44: MOTION IS POSSIBLE.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
EARLY PRAISE FOR ASK THE PASSENGERS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
COPYRIGHT PAGE
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