How to Invent Everything · A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler by North, Ryan -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Title Page Copyright A Note for Readers Epigraph Introduction Frequently Asked Questions by New Time Travelers Repair Guide Oh. How to Use This Guide Contents 1: How to Tell What Time Period You’re Stranded In: A Handy Flowchart 2: A Special Note if You Are Stranded Between 200,000 Bce and 50,000 Bce and You Are Thinking, “the Humans Here Are Crazy and I Am Definitely Doomed Forever” 3: The Five Fundamental Technologies You Need for Your Civilization

3.1: Spoken Language 3.2: Written Language 3.3: Non-Sucky Numbers Sidebar: Why Can’t You Divide by Zero? 3.4: The Scientific Method 3.5: Calorie Surplus: The End of Hunting and Gathering, and the Beginning of Civilization

4: Units of Measurement Are Arbitrary, but Here’s How You Can Reinvent the Standard Ones Used in This Book from Scratch

Sidebar: Handy Measurement Templates

5: Now We Are Become Farmers, the Devourers of Worlds

Selective Breeding Crop Rotation

6: What Will Other Humans Be Eating if I’m Stranded After They’ve Evolved but Before Agriculture and Selective Breeding Are a Thing, and How Can I Tell if It’s Poisonous, Because I Bet These Ancient Humans Are Eating Some Really Stupid Stuff?

Sidebar: The Universal Edibility Test

7: Putting Down Roots: Useful Plants for the Stranded Time Traveler

7.1: Apples 7.2: Bamboo 7.3: Barley 7.4: Black Pepper 7.5: Cacao Plant 7.6: Chili Pepper 7.7: Cinchona 7.8: Coconut 7.9: Coffee 7.10: Corn 7.11: Cotton 7.12: Eucalyptus 7.13: Grapes 7.14: Oak Trees 7.15: Opium Poppy 7.16: Papyrus 7.17: Potato 7.18: Rice 7.19: Rubber Plant 7.20: Soybean 7.21: Sugarcane 7.22: Sweet Orange 7.23: Tea 7.24: Tobacco 7.25: Wheat 7.26: White Mulberry 7.27: White Willow 7.28: Wild Cabbage 7.29: Yam Sidebar: It’s Time for Some Beer

8: The Birds and the Bees: Useful Animals for the Stranded Time Traveler

8.1: Bison (american Buffalo) 8.2: Camels 8.3: Cats 8.4: Chickens 8.5: Cows 8.6: Dogs (also: Wolves) 8.7: Goats 8.8: Honeybees 8.9: Horses 8.10: Llamas/Alpacas 8.11: Pigs 8.12: Pigeons 8.13: Rabbits 8.14: Sheep 8.15: Silkworms 8.16: Turkeys 8.17: Beavers 8.18: Earthworms 8.19: Leeches 8.20: Lice 8.21: Mosquitoes

9: Basic Nutrition: What to Eat So You Won’t Die for at Least a While Longer 10: Common Human Complaints That Can Be Solved by Technology

10.1: “I’m Thirsty” 10.1.1: Charcoal 10.1.2: Distillation 10.2: “I’m Hungry” 10.2.1: Horseshoes 10.2.2: Harnesses 10.2.3: Plows 10.2.4: Preserved Foods 10.2.5: Bread (and also: Beer) (also: Alcohol) 10.2.6: Salt Production 10.3: “I’m Sick” 10.3.1: Penicillin 10.3.2: Stethoscopes 10.4: “The Natural Resources I See Around Me Suck; I Want Better Ones” 10.4.1: Mining 10.4.2: Kilns, Smelters, and Forges 10.4.3: Glass 10.5: “I’m Lazy; I Want a Machine to Do Work for Me” 10.5.1: Waterwheels and Windmills 10.5.2: Pelton Turbines 10.5.3: Flywheels 10.5.4: Steam Engines 10.6: “No, I Mean I’m So Lazy I Just Want to Flip a Switch and Have Machines Work as if by Magic” 10.6.1: Batteries 10.6.2: Generators 10.6.3: Transformers 10.7: “it’s Late and I’m Cold, and I’d Like to Know How Late and How Cold It Is” 10.7.1: Clocks 10.7.2: Thermometers and Barometers 10.8: “I Want People to Think I’m Attractive” 10.8.1: Soap 10.8.2: Buttons 10.8.3: Tanning 10.8.4: Spinning Wheels 10.9: “I Would Like to Have Some Cool Sex” 10.9.1: Birth Control 10.9.2 Birthing Forceps 10.9.3: Incubators 10.10: “I Want Things That Won’t Catch on Fire” 10.10.1: Cement and Concrete 10.10.2: Steel 10.10.3: Welding 10.11: “there’s Nothing to Read” 10.11.1: Paper 10.11.2: Printing Presses 10.12: “it Sucks Here and I Want to Go Literally Anywhere Else” 10.12.1: Bikes 10.12.2: Compasses 10.12.3: Latitude and Longitude Sidebar: How Far Is It Between Lines of Latitude and Longitude Anyway? 10.12.4: Radio 10.12.5: Boats 10.12.6: Human Flight 10.13: “I Want Everyone to Think I’m Smart” 10.13.1: Logic

11: Chemistry: What Are Things, and How Do I Make Things?

What Are Things Made Of? Where Do Things Come From? What Can I Make Out of Things?

12: Major Schools of Philosophy Summed Up in a Few Quippy Sentences About High-fives 13: The Basics of Visual Art, Including Some Styles You Can Steal

Sidebar: Where Can You Get Pigments?

14: Heal Some Body: Medicine and How to Invent It

The Germ Theory of Disease How to Evaluate Medical Treatments Sidebar: Normal Human Baselines Sidebar: Rehydration Drink

15: Basic First (and in Your Case, Only) Aid

Choking Breathing but Unconscious Not Breathing Sidebar: Cpr Songs Broken Bones Wounds Infection

16: How to Invent Music, and Musical Instruments, and Music Theory, and Also We Included Some Really Great Songs for You to Plagiarize Too

How to Invent Musical Instruments Basic Music Theory How to Produce a 440hz Sound Wave at Any Point in History Like It Isn’t Even a Big Deal Reading Music These Really Great Songs That We Put in This Book for You to Plagiarize

17: Computers: How to Turn Mental Labor into Physical Labor, So Then You Don’t Have to Think So Hard but Can Instead Just Turn a Crank or Whatever

What Kind of Numbers Your Computer Will Use, and What It Will Do with Them What Even Is Adding Though, and How Can We Talk About Adding When I Don’t Even Know How a Computer Works Yet? Okay, So, Great I’ve Invented All These Gates, but None of Them Add Anything Yet, So What the Heck? So Let’s Actually Build Some Logic Gates and Solve Computers

Conclusion: Things Should Now Be Pretty Comfortable for You, and You’re Welcome Appendix A: Technology Tree Appendix B: The Periodic Table Appendix C: Useful Chemicals, How to Make Them, and How They Can Definitely Kill You Appendix D: Logical Argument Forms Appendix E: Trigonometry Tables, Included Because You’LL Need Them When You Invent Sundials, but They’LL Also Be Useful if You Ever Decide to Invent Trigonometry Appendix F: Some Universal Constants That Took Humanity a While to Figure Out, and Which You Can Now Name After Yourself Appendix G: Frequencies for Various Notes, So You Can Play Those Cool Songs We Included Appendix H: A Bunch of Cool Gears and Other Fundamental Mechanisms Appendix I: Here’s Where Some Useful Human Parts Are and What They Do Afterword Bibliography Endnotes Written by Me,the Ryan from This Timeline Index About the Author

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