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Index
Cover
Dedication
Contents
An introduction to insanity …
Another suitcase in another hall …
Travelling at the speed of Dubai …
Wanted: One Bacardi with Mexican hat
Where everybody knows your name …
Arduous treks and torture …
Lunch break, in ten easy steps …
Car park wonderland …
Sheikh, rattle and roll …
When good girls get wet and wild …
The joys of being a woman …
Dodgy deals, desert drives and a Middle-Eastern marketing machine …
A Samsung fairytale
Day one at the Iransion …
Girls just wanna have brunch …
Moving on up …
Doing it for our country …
Musings on a sleepless night …
A new-found celebrity status …
Car-crash parties and the fleet-horse elite …
Swimming pools and breaking rules …
In the absence of Facebook …
Confessions of a nail-biter …
Freebies make the world go round …
An Iranian art attack …
Playing house …
When bad beer festivals get worse …
Tube strikes in London, you say?
The Rage …
The road to immediate doom …
Who lives in a house like this?
First comes brunch, then comes Iftar …
Romance and the Ritz …
Ramadan kareem …
Back to life, back to reality …
Sin for your supper …
The word on the street is CENSORED …
Parent planning …
The difficult detox …
Lions and champers and beers, oh my!
Age and the-party-that-never-was …
Ever seen a wheelchair float?
The kebab cake, and other surprises …
A weekend in South Africa …
A gay old time …
Dishonesty pays …
The hills are alive with the sound of silence …
Mulled whine …
An orphan’s Christmas …
A bad day …
Happy New Year …
You can stand under my umbrella …
What would you do with an island?
Bush on the beat …
The cleaning man who never was …
An Indian adventure …
Masters of The Universe …
Permission to launch …
Endings and beginnings …
Theatrical flashbacks …
Playing away by the rules …
The end of the affair …
A shock to the system …
The frog and the impossible flat hunt …
Renting and ranting …
Home sweet home, number three …
It’ll be all-white …
Selfish help …
Return of the Iranian inventor …
Going international …
The pirated treasures of Dubai …
Cabs, cats and little gifts on mats …
THE EGO has landed …
Risky business …
A truly shit time …
A fairytale called Yemen …
Not pet people …
Social networking …
A beachfront balls-up …
The sound of freedom …
Sex on the beach …
Catamarans and kisses …
To be or not to be in a relationship …
Paving the way to Pammy Land …
The Lebanese mafia …
One man and his empire …
The imaginary ability …
England, Dubai and the theory of pie …
Tales of a Middle Eastern earthquake …
It’s a decency thing …
The killer villa crisis …
The ethics of endings …
Even more sex on the beach …
Money and the monkeys …
Re-biting the Big Apple …
Fireworks …
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Spinach and the Nepalese concept of time …
The 22 degrees of Christmas …
Solidarity, songs and skyscrapers …
P.S. I hate you …
When two worlds collide …
Geese and guilt-free cookery …
Holes, moles and guillotines …
Coffin for two, please …
The boat that rocked …
Cat Woman going solo …
Flights of fancy …
The Twilight hour …
Another one bites the dust …
Waving Dubai-bye …
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Copyright
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