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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Contents
1 The Queen of England Is in Our Bathroom
2 What Would Fat Bob Do?
3 Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
4 Jesus in a Bike Basket
5 A Mob. A Horde. A Multitude. A Throng.
6 Jesus, Ginger Ale, Norse Gods, and Wiener Dogs
7 Holden Caulfield Is Undead and Other Things We Learn at the Mall
8 Conspiracy Theories and Cruel Mistresses
9 Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
10 I Kill the Mockingbird
11 Literary Terrorists Need Office Skills
12 How to Eat an Elephant
13 Patron Saint of the Blind
14 Wanting Is an Act of Courage
15 Where Is Elena Going with That Ax?
16 The Mockingbird Manifesto
17 What I Want
18 The Secret Circus
19 The Second Most Exciting Funeral of All Time
20 Put Back Your Books or Boo Radley Will Get You
21 Kindling Words
22 “It Was a Pleasure to Burn”
23 Spanking the Critics
24 Ordinary Time
Acknowledgments
Also by Paul Acampora
Copyright
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