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Index
5 Contents 8 FOREWORD CHAPTER 1 YOU ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE? 12 Evolution calling Why we fall in love 16 Secure, anxious, or avoidant What’s your style? 20 Clashing expectations When insecure types get together 22 Great expectations Mental images of ourselves and other people 2 4 Thinking straight How not to talk yourself down 26 Let’s fall in love How susceptible are you? 27 Why do I never learn? The secrect of repeating patterns 30 Giving up your independence? How to balance autonomy and connection 32 Your own worst enemy? How mental habits hinder or help 34 You deserve the best Healthy positive thinking 36 Extrovert or introvert? Where you draw energy from 38 A little help from your friends Platonic lessons in love 40 Be honest with me Getting help from your loved ones 42 I always go for… You and your type 48 The scent of chemistry How smell works on our feelings 50 Smile please The bond of humor 52 Wishing on a star When you need to listen to yourself 54 Give yourself a break Coping with the lonely times CHAPTER 2 THE SEARCH FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU 60 On the lookout Getting out there 62 Hey world, I’m available! Sending out the right signals The chance encounter Is friendship all that’s available? 70 Across a crowded office The pros and cons of dating at work 72 Would like to meet... Navigating the personal ads 74 The five-minute mile Speed dating 76 Dating on the Internet The strange world of infinite choice 78 Signing up online Creating a profile 82 Just a click away Starting a conversation 86 From profile to person Turning a chat into a date 88 Keeping it safe Meeting up in comfort 90 Hiding in plain sight Meeting through friends 92 Hey, have you met…? When friends play matchmaker 94 Next time lucky? Dating after divorce CHAPTER 3 DATING MAKING IT WORK 98 Picking a winner The first date 100 Looking the part How to put your best face forward 102 It’s going to be fine Confidence-building exercises 104 Stress-free first dates Where’s the best place to start? 106 Everyone loves a good listener The art of active communication 108 Shrinking violets Coping with shyness 110 Talking the talk Getting a good conversation going 112 You don’t have to say anything Body language tips 116 I’m so embarrassed How to keep your cool 118 Five acid tests How to assess your new date 122 Emotional intelligence What it is and why it matters 124 Spotting a serial dater Who they are and why they do it 126 Someone like you? When qualities in common help, and when they don’t 128 Counting the years Do age gaps really matter? 130 Worth a second date? Who should you see again? 132 Juggling prospects When there’s more than one person on the horizon 134 Secrets and confessions How to broach delicate subjects 136 Saying it with flowers Gift giving and what it means CHAPTER 4 ESTABLISHING THE RELATIONSHIP FROM ATTRACTION TO COMMITMENT 140 Fast track, slow track Getting the pace right for you 142 Know your boundaries How to keep your limits healthy 144 Nipping it in the bud How to stop a small problem turning into a big one 146 Off to bed—or not Passing that major threshold 148 Driving you crazy The power of the unreliable 150 Reluctant fire The power of excitement 152 Is this love or lust? Listening to your hormones 156 Spotting real danger Warning signs of an abuser 158 If the F word is “family” The delicate issue of children 160 A ready-made family Dating with children 162 Overlapping your circles Meeting each other’s friends 164 But I miss you so How much time together is right? 166 So are we a couple now? The transition to commitment 170 The L word Talking about love 172 Here’s your key Moving in together 174 I’ll call you every night Managing a long distance relationship 176 Semi-happy endings Finishing things cleanly 178 Do you or don’t you? Time to talk about marriage 180 Popping the question The art of the proposal CHAPTER 5 TOGETHER ON THE ROAD TO LASTING LOVE 184 Are we going to last? What your conversations predict 186 Staying connected Little exercises in happiness 188 The power of vulnerability Taking a risk on true understanding 192 You bring out the best in me The Michelangelo effect 194 Two halves, or two wholes? How to avoid getting stuck in stereotypes 196 The worst ideas of all What you really must avoid 198 Arguing like grown-ups How to communicate, not manipulate 200 A good clean fight How to argue and move on 202 Stop hogging the covers! Sharing a bed 204 Career pressures Maintaining equality in a confusing world 206 The child-free life Choosing not to have children 208 Trying for a baby Keeping it fun when things get serious 210 Baby on the way Staying sexual during pregnancy 212 A united front How to share parenting without going crazy 214 Parents’ date night Having some fun in the few spare moments 216 See you at sex o’clock Making time for sex 218 Keeping the spark Burning long and burning bright 220 INDEX
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