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Index
Cover Half-Title Dedication By the Same Author Title Contents Introduction The dog’s last walk So long as there are women laughing, civilisation’s safe Experience is lovelier than innocence How to live forever God is me Sweet boy, that Jihadi John All sportsmen die in hotels Did you see what my arm just did? Darts: the last refuge of the serious The erotic gravitas of George Galloway Toast In God’s name, why? Fisherman’s friend Ignorance is Bravo Lima India Sierra Sierra In the country of the deaf the man with subtitles is king Phoney racists ‘Get out of my face!’ Raising the age of consent Arrivederci Raffaele Rejoice! Fanatics only ever read one book Boris and the bikes Strictly turn-off Who dunnit? The one who dunnit last time Smiley face There was a rabbi of Kiev A pocket manual of blame Death is Venice How not to be a knob The glorious madness of Wisden You’re going the wrong way, mate Let’s introduce ourselves: what’s your username? How very dare you You can’t enjoy Proust or aloo gobi standing up Nice porn The shame that outlives us Calm down, dear The New Barbarism Shoot the highwayman But what if I don’t want to connect to you? Nostril hair and the university How to be hip Peace The sweet seductiveness of loss Nellie, I am Catherine Earnshaw The phoenix and the turtle The wages of indulgence is darts What’s Hecuba to you? In Leonard Cohen’s fedora you too can look like L. S. Lowry The unhappy wanderer At least the old aren’t young There’s always another Dark Lady Bastard Scrooge Is that all there is? Flyting, sledging, and where to stick your asterisks Wasp watching Steady on, Lawrence Conformity kills Happy now? A self-effacing man When enough’s enough The world turned upside down Down and out in Covent Garden The star is fallen Advice to a young artist: Don’t be yourself Cropper Tenho saudades tuas Preacher man American buffalo Norovirus Nani in space The Queen versus Edward Snowden Into the digital darkness Nights in white satin; nuns in red nighties Killing is a serious business In praise of insincerity The ghost speech Yes but no but And no I said no I won’t No: Molly Bloom decides against casting a vote in the 2015 elections Culpability Brown Don’t ask me Dumb also degrades The dying bug Weeping in the new year Is that a bomb you’re carrying or are you just pleased to see me? Damnation for dummies Remembering Odin Testostenhammur Clowns It isn’t a day of rest we need, it’s a day unlike the day before These things of darkness Offence is sacred And it’s goodnight from him A Note on the Author Copyright
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