Avoiding Everyday Disasters by Laura -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Publisher’s Notice Avoid Disasters in Your Home

Don’t Get Your Sofa Stuck on Moving Day Finding Lost Items without Losing Your Mind Opening Clamshell Packaging without Losing a Finger Don’t Get Suckered in by a Fake Antique Clean Your Windows without Leaving Streaks or Breaking Your Leg Dishwasher Don’ts Don’t Just Push the Dirt Around Your House How to De-Stinkafie a Stinky House The Freaking Remote Is Dead—Again! Stop Murdering Your Poor, Innocent Houseplants Don’t Let Aromatherapy Turn into a House Fire Don’t Put Out the Welcome Mat for Robbers (Especially by Leaving a Key Under It) Get That Fly! Wash Your Dog without Taking a Bath Don’t Let the Cat Shred Your Furniture

Avoid DIY Disasters

Wallpapering Fails Misadventures in Painting Your Beautiful Piece of Art Is Hideously Hung Don’t Be Driven Mad by a Dripping Faucet Toilet Terrors Don’t Screw Up with Your Screwdriver Don’t Get Stuck with Superglue So You Glued Your Fingers Together Some Assembly Required Build a Tree House That Doesn’t Fall Down

Avoid Food Disasters

Don’t Fall Short on Recipes Don’t Waste Money at the Grocery Store So Your Brown Sugar Turned into a Brick Keep Your Soda From Going Flat Cake Mistakes Don’t Let Your Guacamole Look Unholy Don’t Cry Over Chopped Onion Don’t Buy a Dud Watermelon Don’t Take Your Lumps with Your Gravy Slice the Bagel, Not Your Hand Yes, It is Possible to Open a Coconut Don’t Screw Up Your Hamburgers Don’t Trip Up Making Tea Getting the Meat out of a Lobster or Crab Don’t Drop Chow Mein in Your Lap Trying to Use Chopsticks Don’t Be Defeated by Plastic Wrap Don’t Get Burned by Your Freezer Reheating Leftovers without Ruining Them

Avoid Disasters in the (Not Always So) Great Outdoors

Is My Lawn Supposed to Be Brown? Are You Tempted to Turn the Deer in Your Garden into Jane Does? That Seed Is for the Birds—Not the Squirrels Composting without the Stink Don’t Chop Down a Tree onto Your Head Getting Home from a Hike without Blisters OMG, Is That Snake Poisonous!? Don’t Be a Mosquito Magnet How to Not Get Lost in the Woods Pitch a Tent without Pitching a Fit Build a Fire without Getting Burned Don’t Suffer from Epic Sunburn Don’t Bust Your Butt on the Ice

Avoid Disasters in How You Look

Laundry Lapses Don’t Shrink Your Sweaters Don’t Waste Money on Unnecessary Dry Cleaning Never Be Embarrassed by Yellow Pit Stains Again How Not to Spill Coffee on Your Clean, White Shirt Keep a Snagged Sweater from Unraveling Zipper Slipups Ironing Out the Kinks How Much Should You Pay for That Shirt? Don’t Show Up in Your Father’s Suit Does Your Bra Fit Correctly? Don’t Break Your Ankle Wearing High Heels Don’t Wreck Your Face While Shaving Don’t Regret Your Tattoo Polish Your Nails, Not Your Fingers

Avoid Health Disasters

Don’t Fart in Anyone’s General Direction How Not *hic* to Suffer *hic* from Hiccups What Not to Do When You Get a Splinter Cavities, Gingivitis, and Other Things That Screw Up Your Smile Don’t Screw Up Sitting Down Don’t Give Yourself an Ulcer What to Do if You Get Socked in the Face Don’t Fall Down When Working Out Doesn’t Work Out Don’t Let Crutches Put You on Crutches Don’t Worry, Be Happy Don’t Get Scared by Health Hype No Insurance? That Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Get Care Don’t Get Overcharged at the Hospital

Avoid Transportation Disasters

Don’t Buy a Lemon Drive a Stick Shift without Grinding and Stalling Don’t Put Your Whole Paycheck in Your Gas Tank Don’t Drive Blind at Night Don’t Drive with a Dirty Windshield Merging Makes the World Go ’Round Car Seat Confusion Find a Parking Space without Losing Your Patience Parallel Parking without Rear-Ending Anybody Jump-Start a Car without Blowing It Up Don’t Get Ripped Off by Sleazy Mechanics Don’t Get Hit by a Truck Don’t Let Your Bike Get Stolen Ride a Bus or Subway without Falling Over Don’t Let Motion Sickness Happen to You Don’t Give Terrible Directions Don’t Back Up a Trailer in the Wrong Direction

Avoid Disasters in Your Job or with Your Computer

Don’t Screw Up Your LinkedIn Profile Don’t Write a Résumé That Gets Overlooked Don’t Be Late for the Interview Don’t Blow the Interview Don’t Zone Out in Business Meetings Don’t Screw Up Your Chance to Get a Raise You Don’t Have to Go Blind from Staring at a Screen All Day Don’t Put Off Putting a Stop to Procrastination Don’t Waste Ink and Paper Don’t Lose Your Dissertation to a Computer Glitch Don’t Catch a Computer Virus Do You Forget Your Password Every Time for Every Site? Don’t Drown in Your E-Mail E-Mail Gaffes Can Ruin Your Life

Avoid Money Disasters

Don’t Be Taken in by False Savings Don’t Owe Your Arm and Your Leg in Credit Card Debt Don’t Ruin Your Credit Score Do Not Stay Buried in Debt Investing Fails Don’t Pay for College for the Rest of Your Life Avoid Identity Theft Don’t Retire Only to Find Yourself Working Again Don’t Screw Up Your Will Don’t Blow Your Chance to Win the Lottery

Avoid Vacation Disasters

Luggage without Lugging Don’t Get Stuck in the Middle Seat Get Through Airport Security Without a Strip Search Arrive Refreshed Instead of Harried and Jet-Lagged Don’t Accidentally Order Lassie from a Menu in a Foreign Language Don’t Spend Your Whole Vacation in the Bathroom Build a Sand Castle That Won’t Collapse Don’t Lose Your Shirt in Las Vegas Don’t Forget to Pull the Rip Cord How to Look Decent in Your Vacation Photos

Avoid Good Time Disasters

Don’t Strike Out Don’t Eat It at the Skating Rink Fishing without Killing Yourself Get Your Boomerang to Come Back Don’t Get Beaten at Rock, Paper, Scissors Don’t Get Trounced at Scrabble Don’t Get Stuck on 43 Down—Master the Crossword Don’t Carve an Ugly Jack-O’-Lantern (Unless That’s What You’re Going For) Don’t Screw Up the Punch Line What the Fork Is All This Silverware For? Don’t Mess Up Your Martini Open Champagne without Putting Out Anyone’s Eye Don’t Suffer from Post-Party Disorders, aka Hangovers Don’t Be a Wine Oaf

Avoid Relationship Disasters

Don’t Blow Your First Impression Avoid Awkward Introductions Never Say “I’m Terrible with Names” Again! What Not to Do the First Time You Meet a Baby Don’t Fear the Telephone Avoid the Sidewalk Do-Si-Do Don’t Lose Touch with Your Friends Don’t Get Unfriended Avoid Apologies That Make Things Worse First Date Mistakes Don’t Screw Up Making Out Don’t Marry the Wrong Person Don’t Name Your Baby Something You’ll Both Regret Don’t Spend Date Night Alone Don’t Mess Up Your Divorce

Avoid Worst-Case Scenarios

Don’t Get Eaten by a Bear Don’t Get Killed in a Plane Crash Don’t Make a Heart Attack Worse What Not to Do if Someone Feels Faint Don’t Freeze to Death Oh, Crap! There’s a Burglar in the House! What Not to Say to a Grieving Friend Don’t Screw Up Your Funeral