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Imperial Library
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Index
Title Page
Table of Contents
Copyright
Dedication
My Life is Based on a True Story
Honk if You Love Bumper Stickers!!!
Life’s a Beach and Then You Drown
I Keep Pressing “Escape” but I’m Still Here!
Don’t Call Me Infantile, You Stinkybutt Poophead
I Think, Therefore I am Single
When Everything’s Coming Your Way, You’re in the Wrong Lane
99% Of Being Smart is Knowing What You’re Dumb At
Got Issues?
I Love My Country. It’s the Government I’m Afraid Of.
I’d Rather Be Home in Bed
If Reality Wants to Get in Touch, it Knows Where I am
So, When’s the Wizard Going to Get Back to You About That Brain?
Don’t Ya Think Hard Work Must Have Killed Someone?
It Doesn’t Take a Genius to Spot a Goat in a Flock of Sheep
Crybaby on Board
I NY
What Would Scooby-Doo?
Follow Your Dreams, Except the One Where You’re at School in Your Underwear
Panic Now
My Other Car is a Limo
Romance is Like a Game of Chess: One False Move and You’re Mated
Honk if You Love Peace and Quiet
Tree-Hugger
Alcohol and Calculus Don’t Mix. Never Drink and Derive.
There’s No Emoticon for What I’m Feeling
There’s No Place Like Home
It’s as Bad as You Think, and They are Out to Get You
The World is Coming to an End. Please Log Off.
May You Live in Interesting Times
I’m One Bad Relationship Away from Owning 30 Cats
Love Your Mother
The Truly Educated Never Graduate
Actions Speak Louder than Bumper Stickers
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