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Index
Introduction The Romanian Air-Force Diet Take A Flying Focus Withholding the Facts of Life It Rings—You Jump My Detested Fellow Pilgrims Numbers on the Brain A Jones for Generalizations Out for a Read Please Sam, Don’t Play It Again Overbooked Bio-Degradable Neologism, the Name of My Desire A New Nobel Gotcha Literary Tippling Great Talk Stop and Smell the Prose Can’t Take That Away from Me A Sad Case of Mono Political Shopping The High Miles Club Rolodeath Confessions of a Craven Materialist Hats Off A Taxonomy of Bores Send in the Clowns No Acknowledgment Needed Dear Editor Don’t Tutoyer Me, Pal Don’t Ask, Multitask HMS Punafor Jervis Foot Fop You Got Attitude? The Game of the Name Upsizing Singing (Sort of) in the Rain The Eppy and Other Jackets The Enlivening Sins Mr. Epstein Regrets The Worried Well The Language Snob, Reinvented Looking for King Kong A Walker Outside the City Penman Popcorn Palaces Situation Comedy All the News Unfit to Read Sorry, Charlie Book Swining Khaki-Pantsman A Cheap Night Out An Offer I Could Refuse Back on the Bus The Food of My People No Opinion The Attack on the Hot Dog Shine Marginalized Paid Subscriber Quote-idian Let Old Acquaintance Be Forgot It’s Only a Movie Jacques Barzun: An Appreciation Fighting Poverty Mel Lasky “Won’t You Join Me?” They Said I Was Low-Tech . . . Letter from Bedlam Tailor-Made Sublime Competence Do Go Changin’ The Postman Won’t Even Ring Once A Secret Vice Orchidacious Switch & Rebate Early Riser Fred No Joke The Big Picture Trend Stopping Santayana’s Chair The Artist Athlete Fat Moe, Hot Doug, and Big Herm Out of Business Plagiary, It’s Crawling All Over Me The Perils of Prolificacy A Plague of Phones Perchance to Dream Spandexless $129 on the Dotted Line Cleaning Up My Act Don’t Call Me Ishmael Memory Laine Excellent Choice Gimme Shelter Negative Pleasures It’s Only a Hobby Vernon The Unnaturals Cool Chapeau, Man Prizeless Another Season, No Whoopee Funny Papers Fit To Be Tied Sound Off Joseph Epstein Has a Cold Home Mechanic A Happy Problem Adios, Gray Lady Full Slab Dancing with Wolves Bye, Bye, High Five Kindle at the Cleaners At Moral Rest in Old New York Katie in Kabul The Divine Miss H Bring It on, Fyodor Mikhailovich Down the AmaZone The Proustian Solution The Great Apartment Hunt Weepers Keepers Audio-Dismal Aids Go Google Yourself Pretensions à la Carte The Greatest Story Never Read Toting a Dumb Phone Nostalgia Organized A Condition in Need of a Label Hold the Gluten The Reluctant Bibliophile Making a Spectacles of Myself Portnoy’s Children The Issue Issue How I Learned to Love the Draft Unsentimental Journey Everyone Has His Price Incommunicado That’s a Nickel Funny, But I Do Look Jewish Cuppa Joe The Divine Miss H, Revisited Remembering Torelli Original Publication Information for Essays in this Book Index
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