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Index
Foreword by Penn Jillette More Foreword by Billy Bob Thornton Introduction: Howard Hughes and Logorrhea 1 Cos and the Zuckers 2 The Plane to Showbiz 3 Tripping Past Dad 4 Learning to Stand Up 5 John Belushi Takes a Knee 6 Larry, It’s Albert/It’s Kevin/It’s Albert 7 Torturing Reiser, Part One 8 The King and I 9 Barry’s Baltimore 10 Nothing Like Your First 11 Eat Smart 12 Killing Warren Beatty 13 L.A. Story Story 14 The Path Less Traveled 15 Called Up to the Majors 16 Reading between the Lines 17 Trophies on the Mantel 18 Hanging with the Big Boys . . . and Girls 19 Is the Car Here Yet?! 20 Jack and Mom 21 It’s Chinatown, Kev 22 Jack in the Voice 23 Bang Bang, Shoot Shoot 24 Stealing Arkin’s Soul or Torturing Reiser, Part Two 25 Midget Fuckers, Pussy Punchers, Cock Smokers, and Rectum Rockets 26 The Odd Couple Goes to Minneapolis 27 The Return of Italian Royalty 28 I, Suspect 29 The Usual Fucking Cocksuckers 30 The Suspects Go to Cannes 31 Sucking Face with Supermodels 32 Nixon’s List 33 The Don 34 Have You Seen the Muffin, Man 35 Club Willis 36 Carpe Per Diem 37 No Good Deed Goes Unpunished 38 Walken of Fame 39 Boldly I Go 40 Jerry and Me 41 My Introduction to the Interwebs 42 If You’re Not Creating, You’re Waiting Epilogue: President Clinton’s Superpowers Acknowledgments
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