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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Title Page
Books by Rick Riordan
Copyright
Contents
Dedication
1. Good Morning! You’re Going to Die
2. The Man with the Metal Bra
3. Don’t Accept Rides from Strange Relatives
4. Seriously, the Dude Cannot Drive
5. I’ve Always Wanted to Destroy a Bridge
6. Make Way for Ducklings, or They Will Smack You Upside the Head
7. You Look Great Without a Nose, Really
8. Mind the Gap, and Also the Hairy Guy with the Ax
9. You Totally Want the Minibar Key
10. My Room Does Not Suck
11. Pleased to Meet You. I Will Now Crush Your Windpipe
12. At Least I’m Not on Goat-Chasing Duty
13. Phil the Potato Meets His Doom
14. Four Million Channels and There’s Still Nothing On Except Valkyrie Vision
15. My Blooper Video Goes Viral
16. Norns. Why Did It Have to Be Norns?
17. I Did Not Ask for Biceps
18. I Do Mighty Combat with Eggs
19. Do Not Call Me Beantown. Like, Ever
20. Come to the Dark Side. We Have Pop-Tarts
21. Gunilla Gets Blowtorched and It’s Not Funny. Okay, It’s a Little Bit Funny
22. My Friends Fall Out of a Tree
23. I Recycle Myself
24. You Had One Job
25. My Funeral Director Dresses Me Funny
26. Hey, I Know You’re Dead, But Call Me Maybe
27. Let’s Play Frisbee with Bladed Weapons!
28. Talk to the Face, ’Cause That’s Pretty Much All He’s Got
29. We Are Falafel-Jacked by an Eagle
30. An Apple a Day Will Get You Killed
31. Go Smelly or Go Home
32. My Years of Playing Bassmasters 2000 Really Pay Off
33. Sam’s Brother Wakes Up Kinda Cranky
34. My Sword Almost Ends Up on eBay
35. Thou Shalt Not Poop on the Head of Art
36. Duck!
37. I Am Trash-Talked by a Squirrel
38. I Break Down in a Volkswagen
39. Freya Is Pretty! She Has Cats!
40. My Friend Evolved from a—Nope. I Can’t Say It
41. Blitz Makes a Bad Deal
42. We Have a Pre-decapitation Party, with Egg Rolls
43. Let the Crafting of Decorative Metal Waterfowl Begin
44. Junior Wins a Bag of Tears
45. I Get to Know Jack
46. Aboard the Good Ship Toenail
47. I Psychoanalyze a Goat
48. Hearthstone Passes Out Even More than Jason Grace (Though I Have No Idea Who That Is)
49. Well, There’s Your Problem. You’ve Got a Sword Up Your Nose
50. No Spoilers. Thor Is Way Behind on His Shows
51. We Have the Talk-About-Turning-Into-Horseflies Chat
52. I Got the Horse Right Here. His Name Is Stanley
53. How to Kill Giants Politely
54. Why You Should Not Use a Steak Knife as a Diving Board
55. I’m Carried into Battle by the First Dwarven Airborne Division
56. Never Ask a Dwarf to “Go Long”
57. Sam Hits the EJECT Button
58. What the Hel?
59. The Terror That Is Middle School
60. A Lovely Homicidal Sunset Cruise
61. Heather Is My New Least Favorite Flower
62. The Small Bad Wolf
63. I Hate Signing My Own Death Warrant
64. Whose Idea Was It to Make This Wolf Un-killable?
65. I Hate This Part
66. Sacrifices
67. One More, for a Friend
68. Don’t Be a No-bro, Bro
69. Oh…So That’s Who Fenris Smelled in Chapter Sixty-Three
70. We Are Subjected to the PowerPoint of Doom
71. We Burn a Swan Boat, Which I’m Pretty Sure Is Illegal
72. I Lose a Bet
Epilogue
Glossary
The Nine Worlds
Runes (In Order of Appearance)
About the Author
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