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Index
Cover
About the author
Title page
Imprint
Dedication
Contents
1 – Retard dad
2 – Arsehole on a tandem
3 – A real pea souper
4 – My best pal
5 – The banana box in the attic
6 – The day Fiona got a brain tumour
7 – Let’s all go to the Clyde
8 – The one about my da being quite musical
9 – The milk round
10 – If you’ve got leaving on your mind
11 – Nanny wears a beanie and Grampa joins the circus
12 – Uncle Chick and his flaking skin
13 – Christmas Day was always the worst
14 – Andrew and Donald
15 – Is that for your porridge or are you going to plant crocuses in it?
16 – Vladimir’s deli and my bare arse
17 – Right there in God’s house for Chrissake
18 – Mum’s big knob
19 – Me, Maggie and Susan
20 – Buster’s weekend by the sea
21 – Rona fills her lungs at the caravan
22 – Dandy the pony and the blue rosette
23 – The day my da took our ponies to the glue factory
24 – The houses that Bruce built
25 – My new best pal
26 – A fine Johnny
27 – Joan Crawford’s lips
28 – The Bonnie Prince Charlie
29 – Brief encounter
30 – The longest knife in the cutlery drawer
31 – Swinging in the gentle breeze
32 – Diagnosed one minute, dead the next
33 – Mum tries to kill my da using out-of-date tranquillisers
34 – Cock-a-leekie
35 – Oh no, my da’s no’ got cancer
36 – A bottle of Laphroaig
37 – My da’s cherry buns
38 – Brief conversations with my da
Thanks
Wakefield Press
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