When the Past Is Present by Richo, David -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication Contents Introduction 1. What Is Transference?

How We Defend Getting You to Feel for Me One of Our Habits The Birth of Our Expectations Do We Hope or Despair? How Childhood Continues into Our Adult Relationships

2. What Transference Does and Why

The Clues Causes and Choices Noticing What We Are Up To We Have Good Reasons to Transfer Practice: Address, Process, Resolve, and Integrate

3. Ways We Can Be Together

The Real You, the Real Me Practice: Presence, Mindfulness, and Loving-kindness

4. Reactions and Reacting

Persons, Pets, Places, and Things On the Job Too Practice: In the Workplace The Critic Within Practice: Releasing Ourselves from Our Myths Why Others Get to Us as They Do Practices

Seeing What Gets in the Way Opening F.A.C.E.-ing Ourselves Searching Questions From Trigger to Anchor

Handling Others’ Reactions to Us Practice: Power in Responding

5. How Our Fears Figure In

Four Fearsome Hurdles

Comings and Goings Giving and Receiving Being Accepted and Being Rejected Letting Go and Moving On

Practice: Scaling the Hurdles with Grace

6. Our Compulsion to Repeat

Events Too Huge Something Ancient and Primitive Within Us Why We Are All So Concerned about Abandonment The Impact on Us Hate and Hurt Practice: Staying with Feeling

7. Memories of Mistreatment

Ongoing Stress Our Delicate Timing We Don’t All Have to Go Back Practices

Honoring Timing and Lifestyle Identifying What Is Missing

8. The Physical Dimension

How the Brain Figures In Practice: Alternatives to Freezing Up

9. Our Yearning for Both Comfort and Challenge

Practice: How to Grieve and Let Go Grief in the Family Regrets and Disappointments Practice: Handling Regret and Disappointment

10. Mirrors and Ideals

Our Search for Mirroring Love Can’t Live without You A Bridge Appears Where Our Ideals Came From The Gift of Self How Our Needs Are Transferred Transference Meets Us Everywhere Practices

New Ways of Trusting Whom Do We Trust? Examining Our Ideals

11. Why I Love You But Don’t Really See You

Sex and Our Erotic Transferences Sex as Addiction Love and In Love Daring an Adult Love Working Out Our Relationship Clashes How Codependency Arises Practices

Committing to Loving-kindness Entering Another’s World

12. Noticing Transferences in Our Relationships

Practice: Letting Conflicts Help Us Good-Enough Relating The Introvert/Extrovert Dimension in Relating Working Back in Time We Really Can Be Here Now Practice: Pausing to Check In and Settle In

13. From Transference to Transformation

Our Psychological Work Practice: A Checklist How Spiritual Practice Renews Us Hidden Help How It All Comes Together Practice: Opening to Spiritual Shifts

14. Transferring beyond the Personal

The Archetypes We Live With Acknowledge or Disavow Our Wholeness? The Example of Patriotism Religion and Transference Light and Dark

Epilogue: A Jungian View of Our Larger Life Also by David Richo E-mail Sign-Up